37

-January 9th 1997-

   At Monica and Rachel's place Monica, Phoebe,Ross,Me,Joey and Rachel are here and my fiance Joey is demonstrating a card trick.

Joey:Okay pick a card any card.

Monica picks a card.

Joey:All right now memorize it.Show to everybody.Got it?.

Monica:Um.

She does as Joey says.

Joey:All right give it back to me.

   Joey takes the card back but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck he holds the deck to his forehead and thinks a little while.

Joey:5 of hearts.

Monica is sarcastically amazed.

Ross:Real magic does exist.

Rachel:Wow.

Monica:Wow.Joey."Sarcastically".How do you do it?.

Joey:I can’t tell you that no.

We hear some knocking coming from the ceiling.

Ross:uh somebody’s at the door on the ceiling.

Rachel:No that’s our unbelievably loud upstairs neighbor.

Monica:He took up the carpet and now you can hear everything.

Phoebe:Why don’t you go up there and ask him to step lightly please?.

Monica:I have like five times but the guy is so charming that I go up there to yell and then I end up apologizing to him.

Phoebe:Oh.that is silly."Gets up".I’ll go up there I’ll tell him to keep it down.

Monica:All right be my guest.

Tabitha:Good luck.

Phoebe leaves the apartment.

Joey:All right,all right,all right,all right,all right you really wanna know how I did it I’ll show ya.When you handed me back the card what you didn’t see was I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye.

Joey picks up a card and quickly looks at it.

Joey:I just did it."Does it again".I just did it again.Here I’ll slow it down so that you guys can see it."Looks and the card in slow motion".

Everyone:Oh I got it.

We hear Phoebe knock at the door upstairs and the guy answer it.

Phoebe:"Muffled through the floor".Yeah look I was with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired...

???:"Muffled".Whoa you are very beautiful.

Phoebe:"Muffled".Oh thank you.

Soon Chandler enters the apartment.

Chandler:Hey anybody got a length of rope about six feet long with a little nouse at the end?.

Monica:Honey what’s the matter?.

Chandler:I just saw Janice.

Everyone:Oh.

Chandler:Yeah she was at Rockefeller Center skating with her husband she looked so happy.I almost feel bad for whipping that kid’s pretzel at them.

Joey:Man I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine after we broke up.She was just walking with her friend Donna just laughing and talking.God it killed me.

Chandler:Yes but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.

Tabitha:And now you have me for the rest of our lives.

Joey:Sorry I just...any excuse to tell that story you know....

Tabitha:I know you told me it a million times.

Ross:Hey Chandler there’s a party tomorrow you’ll feel better then.

Chandler:Oh you know what I’m gonna be okay you don’t have to throw a party for me.

Tabitha:Chandler It’s Joey’s birthday party.

Chandler:Oh well then if anybody should have a party it should be him.

We hear Phoebe’s muffled voice through the ceiling.

Monica:Sush!.I cannot believe she is still up there.

We hear the guy telling a joke and Phoebe laughing.

Chandler:Okay well he totally screwed up the punch line.You know it’s supposed to be arrghh-eh og-errigh.

*****************************************

-January 10th 1997-

   We are all at Me and Joey’s place for his party.We are also using some of Chandler's apartment to make sure there is enough room for everyone...Me and joey are standing by eachother.

Monica:Joey where are the Jello shots?.

Joey:I don’t know Chandler is supposed to be passing em around.

   We see Chandler giving a Jello shot to the ceramic dog he brought over and holding an empty tray of Jello shots.

Joey,Tabitha:Chandler!

Chandler:Hello-dillillio!.

Ross:Oh somebody’s feeling better.

Monica:"To Chandler".Stick out your tongue.

Chandler:"To Monica".Take off your shirt.

Ross:"Smiles".

   Chandler sticks out is tongue and it’s a horrible shade of green.

Monica:Oh my!.

Tabitha:Oh my God!.How many of these things did you have?.

Joey:These are pure vodka.

Chandler:Yeah Jello just like Mom used to make.

   Rachel enters me and Joey's apartment and she walks over to Ross...I go to the kitchen to make sure I have everything together...Soon all 7 of Joey's sister enter the apartment.

Joey’s Sister's:Joey!,Happy Birthday!.

Joey:Hey!,Hey-hey-hey!.

   Joey goes over and hugs them all and i smile.

Chandler:"To Monica".Okay how many of that girl are you seeing?.

Monica:How hammered are you?.Huh?. These,these are Joey’s sisters.

Chandler:Hi Joey’s sisters!.

I walk with Cookie over to the alcohol.

Phoebe:"To Cookie".Hey!.

Cookie:Hey.What are we drinking over here.

Phoebe:Well I have uh vodka and cranberry juice.

Cookie:No kidding that’s the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.

Phoebe:Wow.Okay I don’t know how to talk to you.

Tabitha:"Chuckles".

Cookie:Ah there is my favorite singer and soon to be sister.

Cookie hugs me and i smile.

Tabitha:Nice to see you.

*****************************************

-January 11th 1997-

   The next day me and Joey enter Monica and Rachel's apartment and Joey is upset.

Joey:"Angrily to Chandler".Can I talk to you for a second?!."Points".

Ross:Hey Joey and Tab.

Rachel:Hey.

Our friends all walk away from Chandler.

Joey:Come on!.

   Joey motions for Chandler to come with us.

Chandler:Why can’t we talk in here?.With, with witnesses.

Joey:I just got off the phone with my sister.

Ross:Ah which,which one?.

Tabitha:Mary-Angela.

Ross:Mary-Angela.

Joey:Yeah.

Monica:You know which one was she again?.

Joey:Why don’t you ask Chandler cause he’s the one that fooled around with her.She told me you said you could really fall for her.Now is that true?.Or are you just getting over Janice by groping my sister.

Chandler:It’s gotta be the first one.

Joey:Really?.That’s great!.You and my sister sitting in a tree.

Joey goes over and hugs Chandler.

Chandler:Yep I’m in a tree.

   Later at Joey’s sister’s house we are about to begin having dinner after I met Joey's grandmother and we hear 3 knocks on the front door and Me and Joey answer it.

Chandler:"Shocked".Joey,Tabitha what,wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-what are you doing here?.

Joey:Having a late birthday dinner with my grandma.What about you?.

Chandler:I’m here to see Mary-Angela.

Joey:You are so the man!.

   Joey motions Chandler to come in and he does.

Joey:Now look listen,listen you got to be cool cause my Grandma doesn’t know about you two yet and you do not want to tick her off.She was like the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body.Yeah.

Chandler:Where’s Mary-Angela?.

Joey:She’s right in there.

   We motion to the kitchen and Chandler walks in and sees all of Joey’s sisters.

Joey’s Sisters:Hey Chandler!.

Later we are all finishing up dinner.

Chandler:This teramisu is,is excellent.Did you make it Mary-Angela?.

Nonna:No!.I did!.

Chandler:Well it’s,it’s yummy.So Mary-Angela do you like it?.

Nonna:Of course!.It’s her favorite.

Chandler:So um Mary-Angela what’s your second favorite?.

Nonna:More of Grandma’s teramisu.

Chandler:Would you just please....give me the receipt cause this is great.It’s top notch.

Nonna:That dies with me.

Chandler:So will I.

   After a few seconds Mary-Therese gets up to leave...After a few more seconds Chandler gets up.

Chandler:Will you excuse me I have to um."Leaves".

*****************************************

   Soon as we are still eating we hear a scream.

Mary-Angela:Joey!.

Chandler:No Joey!,No Joey!,Don’t Joey!,Joey!.

   Me and Joey and the rest of his sister's all go into the hallway to see Mary-Therese and Mary-Angela and Chandler.

Joey:What’s going on?.

Chandler pats Joey on the shoulder.

Chandler:You’re it!.Now run and hide!.

Mary-Theresa:It’s no big deal.Chandler was just kissing me because he thought I was Mary-Angela.

Joey:What?!.How could you do that,how could you think she was Mary-Angela?.

Chandler:I wasn’t sure which one Mary-Angela was.

All of Joey’s sisters gasp.

Chandler:Look I’m sorry okay I was really drunk and you all look really similar.

Gina:I say punch him Joey.

Joey's sisters:Yeah!.Punch him!.

Chandler:You know what we should all calm down because your brother’s not going to punch me."To Joey".Are ya?.

Joey:Well that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought you’d be on the receiving end of it.How could you do this?!.

Chandler:Joey if you wanna punch me go ahead I deserve it.But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family you’re my best friend.I would never do anything like this ever again.

Cookie:So what.I say punch him.

Joey's sisters:Yeah!.Punch him!.Punch him!.

Joey:No!.No!.No!.No I’m not going to punch Chandler.

Cookie:I’ll do it.

Joey:No you won’t.Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him he’s sorry. But,"To Chandler".You’ve got one more apology to make all right you’ve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.

Chandler:Okay absolutely!.

Joey:All right.

Chandler:You’ve got it.

   Chandler looks at Joey's sister’s looking confused.

Joey:Cookie now you can punch him.

Chandler:What?!.

We watch as Cookie punches Chandler.

*****************************************We are all at Monica and Rachel's.

Monica:So uh Phoebe how was your date?.

Phoebe:Oh well you know."Laughs".

Monica:Yeah I do know.

Phoebe:Ick you were eavesdropping.

Rachel:Eavesdropping.Pheebs the ceiling tiles were falling down.

Phoebe:Oh I’m sorry.But I really like this guy.And I think he really happens to like me.

   We hear the sound of a bed creaking through the ceiling and him moaning.

Ross:Maybe he’s just jumping on a pogo-stick and really likes it?.

We hear a women start moaning.

Ross:Maybe the pogo-stick likes it too?.

Joey:All right that’s it!.He cannot do this to Phoebe."Gets up".This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime!.

    Joey stops and turns around and looks at Rachel.

Joey:But is he a big guy?.

Ross:Ah we’ll all go.

Ross motions to Chandler.

Ross:Come on.

The guys all begin to leave.

Phoebe:Thanks you guys!.Thank you.

Chandler:Don’t worry.

Phoebe:God I hope they kick his ass!.

Rachel:Honey I’m sorry.

Monica:You know if it’s any consolation he really did sound like he was having more fun with you.

   Rachel nods in agreement and we hear the guys knock on the door upstairs and the guy answering it.

???:"Muffled".May I help you?.

   We hear the guys start to attack him but the guy manages to calm them down and gets them to agree to what he did.Monica throws up her hands in disgust as i groan.