32

-October 18th 1996-

   I am at Monica and Rachel’s hanging with Monica.

Monica:So you and Joey are gonna be moving in together soon.

Tabitha:Yeah it's a big step but we are ready for it...We have known eachother for years and have been together for 7 months now.

Monica:Yeah...

Tabitha:As Pheebs would say and I believe this that he is my lobster."Smiles".

   Joey enters Monica's apartment and goes over to the fridge and takes out a beer.

Monica:Hey!.Where ya heading in those pants?.1982?.

Joey:Oh Monica listen I ah I saw down at the hardware store they got those designer tiles on sale.If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor.

Monica:Why what’s wrong with my bathroom floor?.

Joey takes a sip of his beer.

Joey:Nothing.It’s just old and dingy that’s all.

Monica:I highly doubt that.

The three of us go to the bathroom.

Joey:Oh yeah.If you ah move your hamper you see what color the tile used to be.

Joey moves the hamper and Monica gasps.

Joey:Yeah.

Monica:I can’t live like this!.What are we gonna do, What are we gonna do?.

Joey:Relax."To Tabitha".Here babe hold this.

Joey hands me his beer.

Joey:Monica this old stuff just comes right off.

   Joey bends down to try and lift some tile right in the middle of the floor while wearing his tight pants and i smirk at the veiw of his butt.

Monica:That’s a little more than I wanted to see.

I nudge my sister and shake my head.

Tabitha:"Mouths to her".Thats my man.

Joey manages to pry off only small pieces.

Joey:Awe look at that every inch of this stuff is glued down.It’d take forever to pry this up.You should uh...

I hand Joey his beer.

Joey:You should just leave it.

   Joey starts to walk away but Monica grabs him.

Monica:I can’t leave it!.You gouged a hole in my dingy floor.

   Joey then places the toliet brush and holder over the hole which is in the middle of the floor.

Joey:Eh.There you go.

Monica:You know that’s nice,you know we could put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon!.

*****************************************

   I am at Central Perk sitting next to Chandler and Ross as Ross is working on his list.

Ross:Okay I’ve got three of my five.

Rachel:Three of your five what?."Sits down".

Ross:Celebrities I’m allowed to sleep with."Smiles".

Rachel:Oh my God.You are giving this a lot of thought.

Ross:Yeah it’s hard okay I only have two spots left.

Tabitha:All right so who do you got it narrowed down to?.

Ross:Okay Elizabeth Hurely....

Chandler:Oooh-hoo very attractive.

Ross:Yeah.

Chandler:Forgiving.

Ross:Susan Sarandon.

Chandler:Eh you know what she’s to political she probably wouldn’t let you do it unless you donated four cans of food first.

Ross:"Chuckles".And...Isabella Rosselini.

Chandler:Ooh-hoo.Very hot,very sexy.But ah you know she’s too internationalnyou know she’s never gonna be around.

Rachel:So?.

Chandler:So you gotta play the odds pick somebody who’s gonna be in the country like all the time.

Rachel:Yeah?.Cause that’s why you won’t get Isabella Rosselini.Geography.

I laugh.

****************************************

-October 19th 1996-

   I am at Monica and Rachel’s Me and Phoebe are eating breakfast with Monica while Frank is playing with num-chucks on the balcony.

Monica:What kind of karate is that?.

Phoebe:No kind.He just makes it up.

Monica:So how’s it going with you guys?.

Phoebe:So far it kinda blows.I don’t know I just thought you know that he’d feel more like a brother you know, like you and Ross and Tabitha just like close and connected and....

Monica:Oh honey we’re close now but y-you wouldn’t believe the years o-of nugies and wedgies and flying wedgies and atomic wedgies and....

Phoebe shakes her head like she doesn’t understand.

Monica:That’s where the waistband actually goes over your head.

Phoebe:Ah!.

Monica:Oh Me and Ross used to drive each other crazy playing the shadow game.

Phoebe:Oh how do you play the shadow game?.

Monica:Oh how do you play the shadow game?.

Phoebe:I just asked you.

Monica:I just asked you.

Phoebe:I don’t have time for this.

Monica:No that is what the game is.

Phoebe:Which you just gave up really quickly.

Chandler enters the apartment.

Chandler:Have you seen Joey?.

Tabitha:What’s the matter?.

Chandler:Oh just this!.

   Chandler turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.I cover my mouth with my hand to keep from laughing.

Chandler:You know what it’s my fault really because the couch is usually where we keepnthe varnish.

Joey:"Yelling from bathroom".Hey does somebody wanna hand me one of those tiles.

Chandler:What’s going on?.

Monica:He’s retiling my floor.

The three of us run to the bathroom.

Chandler:Yo Spackel boy.Get up!.

Joey gets up.

Monica:Ah-ah-ah now you started this you will finish it.

   Joey walks out of the bathroom and stands by me.

Chandler:He started mine first!.

Phoebe:Build the unit Cinderelly lay the tile Cinderelly.

We all look at Phoebe.

*****************************************

   In Monica and Rachel’s bathroom Me,Joey and Monica are admiring the new floor.

Monica:It’s beautiful!.It’s like the first bathroom floor there ever was.

   Chandler tries to go to the bathroom.Ad Me and Joey go to the kitchen.Where Joey looks on the fridge and Rachel is sitting at the table.

Monica:Whoa!.What are you going in there for?.

Chandler:What like a number?.

Ross enters the apartment.

Ross:Hey!.

Chandler:Hi!.Bye!."Runs to the bathroom".

Ross:Okay I’m done with my choices these are final."Holds up a little card".

Rachel:Well it’s about time.

Joey:Oh very official.

Tabitha:Yeah.

Ross:Oh yeah well you know Chandler printed it up on his computer.

Monica:And who laminated it?.

Ross:That would be me."Smiles".

Rachel:All right let me see."Grabs the card". Uma Thurman,Winona Ryder,Elizabeth Hurely,Michelle Pfieffer and Dorothy Hammel?.

Ross:"Smiles then frowns".Hey it’s my list.

Rachel:Okay honey you do realize she only spins like that on ice.

*****************************************-October 20th 1996-

  VAt Chandler and Joey’s everyone is here and we are helping to lift the entertainment center into place.

Chandler:Okay on three.One....Two....

Joey:Why don’t we just go on two.

Chandler:Why two?.

Joey:Because it’s faster.

Chandler:Yeah I coulda counted to three like four times without all this two talk.

Rachel:Oh.

Joey:All right but in the future...

Ross:Okay,Okay!.

Rachel:Come on!.

Ross:Heavy thing not getting lighter!.

Chandler:Okay one...two...

Joey:So we are going on two?.

Everyone:All right!.

   We lift it into place and the unit is so long that it blocks some of Joey and Chandler's bedroom doors.

Chandler:Oh good job Joe.

Joey:Wow it’s big!.

Chandler:Yeah-yeah o big that it actually makes our doors look smaller!.

Joey:Maybe my ruler’s wrong.

Phoebe:Maybe all the rulers are wrong.

Joey:Look it’s not that bad.So what it blocks a little of your door,a little of my door.

Chandler:Yeah you know what I got a better idea.H-how bout it blocks none of mine door and a lot of yours?.

   Chandler begins to try and move it but it doesn’t move.

Joey:Yeah listen before I forget that side is still wet.

*****************************************

   We are all at Central Perk and Rachel is serving some guy coffee.After serving him she walks away and Isabella Rosselini enters.She stands by Ross at the counter abd a second later he goes over to the couch mouthing Oh my God to us.

Ross:Isabella Rosselini."Points to her".

Monica:Are you serious?.

Everyone all looks where I am looking.

Monica:Oh my God.

Ross:Damn!.I can’t believe I took her off my list.

Monica:Why?.Cause otherwise you’d go for it?.

Ross:Yeah maybe.

Rachel:O-oh you lie.

Ross:What you don’t think I’d go up to her?.

Rachel:Ross it took you ten years to finally admit you liked me.

Ross:Yeah well missy you better be glad that list is laminated.

Rachel:You know what honey you go ahead we’ll call her an alternate.

Ross:Okay hold my crawler.

Rachel:Okay.

Monica:Rach are you really gonna let him do this?.

Rachel:Honey he’s about to go hit on Isabella Rosselini.I’m just sorry we don’t got popcorn.

Ross:"To Isabella".Hi,Hi I’m Ross you don’t know me but I’m a big, big fan of yours.I mean Blue Velvet woo-oo hoo!.Um I was wondering if I could um maybe buy you a cup of coffee?.

Gunther hands Isabella her change.

Ross:Or maybe reimburse you for that one?.

Isabella:Aren’t you with that girl over there?."Points at Rachel".

Rachel waves back at Isabella.

Ross:Well yeah kinda.U but that’s okay see we have an understanding um see we each have this list of five famous people."Gets his out".So I’m allowed to sleep with you.No, no,no it’s flattery.

Isabella:I’m sorry."Starts to leave".

Ross:Oh no,no,no,wait,wait Isabella.Don’t, don’t just dismiss this so fast.I mean this is a once in a lifetime opportunity...

Isabella:Yeah for you.Is that the list?.

Ross:Um yeah.

Isabella:May I see it?.

Ross:Um no.

Isabella:Come on!."Grabs the list".

Ross:But okay.

Isabella:"Reading it".I’m not on the list.

Ross:Um see but that’s not the final draft.

Isabella:It’s laminated.

Ross:Yeah um okay see you were,you were on the list but my friend Chandler.

Chandler waves at them.

Ross:Brought up the very good point that you are international so I bumped you for Wynona Rider local.

Isabella:You know it’s ironic...

Ross:What?.

Isabella:Because I have a list of five goofy coffee house guys and yesterday I bumped you for that guy over there.

Isabella points at a guy and leaves.

Rossl:"To everyone".We’re just gonna be friends.

*****************************************

   I am at Chandler and Joey’s we are admiring the entertainment center.

Joey:You know what?.

Chandler:Um?.

Joey:I bet ya I could fit in there."Points to a hole in the center".

Chandler:I’ve got five bucks says you can’t.

Joey:Get out your checkbook mister.

Chandler:Oh I think I have the cash.

   Joey successfully enters the entertainment center and Chandler closes the door on Joey.

Joey:You are dogged man!.I totally fit!.

Chandler:Yeah you got me.

   Chandler picks up a 2x4 and puts it through the handles so that the doors won’t open.

Chandler:I’m out five big ones!.

   Chandler puts the money in the crack between the door and frame.

Chandler:Here you go.

Joey:Thank you.Cha-ching!.

Chandler starts to leave.

Joey:Oh well hello Mr.Lincoln.Better luck next time buddy.

Chandler leaves and closes the door.

Joey:And the drinks are on me.

   I take the piece of wood and slide it out and open the door to let Joey out.