24

-May 2nd 1996-

   I am at the Moondance Diner.With Joey,Ross,Phoebe and Chandler and we are sitting at the counter while Monica is working and  Monica is wearing her costume including big fake breasts....Me and Joey are sitting right next to eachother for almost a month now we have secretly been seeing eachother and the only one who knows about us is Chandler.

Monica:So I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth and since it's Rachel's birthday I mean we want it to be special I thought I'd poach a salmon.

Everyone:Oh.

Monica:What?.

Ross:Question...Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?.

Monica:You wanna be in charge of the food committee?.

Ross:Question two...Why do we always have to have parties with committees?.

Joey:Really.Why can't we just get some pizzas and get some beers and have fun?.

Tabitha:Yeah.

Phoebe:Yeah I agree.You know I think fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside and I'm just not sure we are.

Monica:Alright.If you guys don't want it to be special fine.You can throw any kind of party you want.

***************************************** -May 3rd 1996-

  At Central Perk.Me,Joey,Chandler,Ross, Phoebe and Monica are planning Rachel's birthday party.

Ross:I talked to Rachel's sisters neither of them can come.

Monica:Ok um so I still have to invite Dillon and Emma and Shannon Cooper.

Joey:Woah,Woah,Woah uh no Shannon Cooper.

Phoebe:Why not her?.

Joey:Cause she uh she steals stuff.

Chandler:Or maybe she doesn't steal stuff and Joey just slept with her and never called her back.

Monica:Joey that is horriable.

Joey:Hey I liked her alright.Maybe,maybe too much.I don't know I guess I just got scared.

Phoebe:I'm sorry I didn't know.

Joey:I didn't think anyone'd buy that ok.

   I internally smile at Joey's comment maybe this secret we are keeping won't be so hard.Rachel enters the shop and we stop talking.

Ross:Hi honey how did it go?.

Rachel:Ugh it was the graduation from hell.

Chandler:You know my cousin went to hell on a football scholarship.

Rachel:You know I mean this is supposed to be a joyous occasion.My sister's graduating from college nobody thought she would.It's a true testament to what a girl from long island would do for a Celica.

Tabitha:So what happened?.

Rachel:My parents happened.All they had to do was sit in the same stadium smile proudly and not talk about the divorce.But no they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address.Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them.But you know what you know what the good news is?.I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours."Leaves".

Phoebe:Ok so I guess we don't invite her parents.

Monica:Well how bout just her mom?.

Chandler:Why her mom?.

Monica:Cause I already invited her.

Phoebe:Oh,Oh did you ask Stacy Roth?.

Joey:Oh no can't invite her.She also steals.

*****************************************-May 5th 1996-

   At Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler,Me,Joey,Monica and Phoebe are setting up for the party.

Phoebe:Ok here are the birthday candles. Where's the birthday cake?.

Monica:Ok we're not having birthday cake we're having birthday flan.

Chandler:Excuse me?.

Monica:It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert.

Joey:Oh that's nice.Happy birthday Rachel here's some goo.

I laugh as there is a knock at the door.

Monica:"Answers the door".Dr.Greene.Oh my God it's Rachel's dad.What're you doing here?.

Leonard:What?.The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday?.

Monica:No,no the father can but um since I am the roommate I can tell you that she's not here and I'll pass along the message ok. So bye-bye.

Leonard:Ohhh you're having a partayy.

Monica:No,no not a party.Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.You know Tabitha.

Leonard:Hey Tabitha...I'll never remember all of that.So uh what's the deal?.Rachel comes home,people pop out and yell stuff is that it?.

Chandler:This isn't your first surprise party is it sir?.

   There is another knock at the door abd me and Monica answers it to see Mrs.Greene.

Sandra:Hi Monica,Tabitha.

Monica slams the door back shut.

Monica:Chinese menu guy.Forgot the menus.

Chandler:So basically just a Chinese guy.

Joey:Uh hey Dr.Greene why don't you come with me we'll put your jacket on Rachel's bed.

Leonard:Alright that sounds like a two person job.

   Joey and Dr.Green walk into Rachel's bedroom and Monica opens the door.

Sandra:Well my goodness what was that?.

Monica:Sandra I am so sorry I thought you were Rachel and we just weren't ready for you yet.

Sandra:You thought I was Rachel?.

Tabitha:Yes because uh you look so young.

Phoebe:And because you're both you know white women.

Sandra:Oh I missed you kids.Well should I put my coat in the bedroom?.

Chandler:No!,No I'll take that for ya.

Sandra:Oh well thank you.Such a gentleman.Thank you.

   I watch Chandler take.the hot pink coat and grimacing at it.

Sandra:Ah it all looks so nice,so festive,all the balloons...

   I watch as Chandler throws her coat in a cupboard.

Sandra:The funniest thing happened to me on the way here.I was...

I see Joey peeking out of the bedroom.

Phoebe:Haha that's great haha.I can't wait to hear the rest of it you know but I really have to go to the bathroom so...Hey come with me.Yeah,yeah it'll be like we're gal pals,you know like at a restraunt.Oh it'll be fun come on.

Phoebe and Sandra go in the bathroom.

Monica:Oh my God,oh my God,oh my God.

Chandler:Ok think what would Jack and Chrissy do?.

Joey:"Peeks back out".Ok now that your coat is safely in the bedr-"Sees that the coast is clear".oh ok we can come back out in the living room.

Monica:So uh Joey and Chanlder I-I think it's time that you take Dr.Greene over to your place.

Chandler:Uh.yes absdolutely um.Why again?.

Monica:Because that's where the party is you goon.See this is just the staging area.

Tabitha:Right this is staging.

Chandler:Yeah this more than anything else is the staging area.

   As we're walking out Dr.Greene questioningly gestures at the Happy Birthday sign over the door.

Joey:This is clearly in the wrong apartment.

We all walk across the hall.

****************************************

   Later on in the hallway between the apartments.I am helping Chandler and we are showing people to the parties.

Chandler:Alright you guys are off to party number one."Ushers 3 guys into Monica's apartment".and you,you are off to party number two."Ushers four women into his apartment.Two guys try to follow and Chandler blocks them and shoos them off to Monica's apartment".Alright fellas let's keep it moving,let keep it moving.

Tabitha:Chandler...

Monica:Chandler could you at least send some women to my party?.

   We hear a buzzer going off from her apartment.

Monica:Alright that's Ross.

Chandler:Ok they're coming sh.

   Chandler runs into Monica's apartment and grabs one last girl to take to his apartment and I shake my head as we go into the apartment...Some men...Soon Ross brings Rachel into the party and turns the light on.

Everyone:Surprise.

Leonard:Happy birthday sweetpea.

Rachel:Daddy.

   A few minutes into the party at Chandler and Joey's.Rachel is talking to Chandler and Ross and Me.

Rachel:Both of them are here,both of them,both of them are here?.

Chandler:Well we could count again."Looks around".

Rachel:I can't believe this is happening.

Ross:You know what this is ridiculous ok. This is your birthday,this is your party.I say we just put em all together and if they can't deal with it who cares.

Rachel:I do.

Ross:That's who.

Tabitha:Look are you gonna be ok?.

Rachel:Well I have to be I don't really have a choice I mean you know I could look at the bright side I get two birthday parties and two birthday cakes.

Chandler:Well actually just one birthday flan.

Rachel:What?.

Chandler:It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert...Look talk to Monica she's on the food committee.

   Later Me and Joey have a volleyball court set up in Chandler's bedroom...No one else is around us.

Tabitha:So...maybe we can have our own little party tonight.

   I hit the ball towards Joey and he catches it.

Joey:What kind?.

   As Joey hits it back and I get ready to hit the volleyball back to him I answer his question.

Tabitha:The sex kind."Chuckles".

   I hit the ball back to him but he just stares at me with lust in his eyes and a second later a crash is heard behind him...We look to see a grey lamp broken on the floor.We look at eachother with horror.

Joey,Tabitha:Oh...Crap.

*****************************************

   Me and Joey are talking in the living room as Chandler runs out of the bathroom.

Chandler:Joey,Joey.Hey some girl just walked up to me and said I want you Dennis and stuck her tounge down my throat.I love this party.

Joey:Quick volleyball question.

Chandler:Volleyball.

Joey:Yeah we set up a court in your room. Uh you didn't really like that grey lamp did you?.

Chandler:Joey a woman just stuck her tounge down my throat I'm not even listening to you.

???:Dennis.

Chandler:Ok that's me.

Tabitha:Have fun."Laughs".

Chandler runs to the girl and I look to Joey.

Tabitha:I hope we don't get in trouble later.

Joey:If we do atleast we will die together.

Tabitha:Yeah my darling Romeo."Winks".

Joey:My Juliet."Smirks".

*****************************************

   Everyone is dancing and having fun.Me and Joey are dancing with Chandler as Monica comes into the apartment.

Monica:Could you guys please try to keep it down we're trying to start a Boggle tournament.

   Chandler and Joey stop dancing and laugh at her as I continue dancing a bit tipsy from a few beers I drank.

Monica:You and you you're supposed to be at my party.And Gunther!.What are you doing here?.

Gunther:Um..."Gestures to dance floor".

   Phoebe enters with the three people she got out.

Phoebe:Ok welcome to the fu-oh.

Monica:Phoebe.

Phoebe:Alright I'm sorry but these people needed me.They work hard all week,it's Saturday night,they deserve to have a little fun.Go.

Monica:You know my party is fun.I mean maybe it's a little quieter,less obvious sorta fun but you know,if people would just give it a chance...

   A volleyball hits her in the head from behind...After the party Mr.Greene opens the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment to leave but Ross runs to the door forcing him back in closing the door.

Joey:Ah you drive safe.

   We try to stall Dr.Greene but he opens the door and pulls Ross in.

Ross:How are you doing?

Chandler:Well uh Dr.Greene where are you going?.

Leonard:To get my coat.

The guys:No,no,no.

Leonard:Alright,alright I can get my own coat.

   The guys and i form a wall between Mrs.Geller and Mr.Geller and we dance across the hall as he walks across.

Tabitha:Sorry we're on a major flan high.

   Phoebe opens the door and sees me and  the guys are right there and closes it.We hear Phoebe speak louder from inside.

Phoebe:Then I guess we're going back into the hallway.

Joey:Thanks for coming Mrs.Greene.

   As Mr.Greene leaves Joey grabs Sandra and twirl dances her across the hall.I join in with them and I twirl Sandra around as I watch Mr.Greene leave.I stop dancing with her.

Tabitha:Well ok you take care.

Sandra:Oh you kids...Well this is the best party I've been to in years.

Monica:Thank you.

   Later in Monica and Rachel's apartment.We are close up of the flan on the table with birthday candles.

Monica:Ok everybody it's time for flan.

Chandler:Yup get ready for the gelatenous fun.

Joey:Kinda looks like that stuff you get when you get a bad infection.

   I nudge Joey and he smirks at me which makes me shake my head.

Monica:Ok that's enough.

Phoebe:Ok Rachel make a special flan wish.

Rachel:Ok I've got one."Blows out the candles".

   We hear somebody call out heads up and the volleyball lands in the flan.

Rachel:Wow those things almost never come true.

I laugh at her comment.