7

-February 13th 1995-

Us girls are all at Monica and Rachel's apartment and discussing our bad luck with men.

Rachel:Ok,ok Roger was creepy but he was nothing compared to Pete Carney.

Monica:Which one was Pete Carney?.

Rachel:Pete the Weeper?.Remember that guy who used to cry every time we had sex."Imitating".Was it good for you?.

Monica:Yeah well I'll take a little crying any day over Howard the I win guy."Imitating". I win!,I win!...I went out with the guy for two months.I didn't get to win once.

Rachel:How did we end up with these jerks?.We're good people!.

Tabitha:I don't know.Maybe we're some kinda magnets.

Phoebe:I know I am.That's why I can't wear a digital watch.

Monica:There's more beer right?.

Phoebe:Oh!.You know my friend Abby who shaves her head?.She said that if you want to break the bad boyfriend cycle you can do like a cleansing ritual.

Rachel:Pheebs this woman is voluntarily bald.

Phoebe:Yeah.So we can do it tomorrow night you guys.It's Valentine's Day.It's perfect.

Monica:Ok well what kind of ritual?.

Phoebe:Ok.We can um we can burn the stuff they gave us.

Rachel:Or?.

Phoebe:Or...or we can chant and dance around naked you know with sticks.

Monica:Burning's good.

Rachel:Burning's good.Yeah I got stuff to burn

Tabitha:I stole one of Zayne's shirts to burn one day anyway."Shrugs".

-February 14th 1995-

Its night time and us girls are all at Monica and Rachel's to have our boyfriend bonfire.

Phoebe:Ok so now we need um sage branches and the sacramental wine.

Monica:All I have is...Is oregano and a Fresca.

Phoebe:Um that's ok!."Throws it in fire".Ok. All right.Now we need the semen of a righteous man.

Rachel:Ok Pheebs you know what if we had that we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place.

Monica:Can we just start throwing things in?.

Phoebe:Ok yeah ok."Throws the directions in".Oh ok.

Rachel:"Tossing things in the fire".Ok Barry's letters.Adam Ritter's boxer shorts.

Phoebe:Ok and I have the uh receipt for my dinner with Nokululu Oon Ah Ah.

Monica:Look here's a picture of Scotty Jared naked.

Rachel:"Looking at picture".Hey he's wearing a sweater.

Monica:No.

Rachel,Phoebe,Tabitha:Ew!.

Tabitha:Zayne's shirt."Throws it into the fire".

Rachel:And here we have the last of Paulo's grappa.

Monica:Hey Rachel isn't that stuff almost pure...

Rachel throws the alcohol in the fire.A burst of flames shoots up from it.And just as soon firemen are there to handle the bonfire that got out of control.

Fireman1:What do we got there?.

Fireman2:A piece of something Boxer shorts,Greeting cards and what looks like a half charred picture.Wow that guy's hairier than the Chief!.

Monica:You know it's a really funny story how this happened.

Fireman3:It's all right.It's all right.You don't have to explain.This isn't the first boyfriend bonfire that we've seen get out of control.

Fireman1:You're our third call tonight.

Rachel:Really?.

Fireman2:Oh sure Valentine's is our busiest night of the year.

I grab my jacket and I leave the apartment as the girls chat up the fireman.

-March 5th 1995-

I rush into Monica and Rachel's apartment to see everyone.I am holding my apartment key and I grin.

Tabitha:Guess who is living next door as if today?.

Ross:Your moving out?.

Tabitha:As much as i love you Ross I can't live with you forever.I need my own space.I took the two bedroom next door to Monica and Rachel's.So we can see eachother anytime.

Joey:We can have sleepovers again!.

Tabitha:Yeah!."Smiles".We can watch many many movies!.

Me and Joey grin like children...A few days later I have my apartment set up and I'm all moved in.

-May 3rd 1995-

I have been in the city for 7 months now and have been living in my apartment for almost 2 months...Currently I am at Central Perk with everyone.

Monica:Tell him.

Rachel:No.

Phoebe:Tell him,Tell him.

Tabitha:Just...please tell him.

Rachel:Shut up!.

Chandler:Tell me what?.

Monica:Look at you.You won't even look at him.

Chandler:"Sarcastically".Oh come on tell me.I could use another reason why women won't look at me.

Rachel:All right,All right,All right.Last night I had a dream that, uh you and i were...

Phoebe:Doing it on this table."Points at the table".

Chandler:Wow!.

Joey:Exellent dream score.

I chuckle at Joey's comment.

Ross:Why,Why,Why would you dream that?.

Chandler:More importantly was I any good?.

Rachel:Well you were pretty damn good.

Chandler:Interesting cause in my dreams I'm always surprisingly inadequate.

Monica pats Chandler on his lap.

Rachel:Well last night you seemed to know your way around the table.

I laugh at Rachel's pun.

Ross:I love it when we share.

Ross goes over to the counter.Chandler and I follow him.

Chandler:You okay there?.

Ross:I can't belive you two had sex in her dream.

Chandler:I'm sorry it was a one time thing. I was very drunk and i was somebody else's subconscious.

I hold back a laugh at Chandler's reply.A while later Chandler is sitting on the table.

Chandler:Hello Rachel.

Rachel:Get off.

Phoebe:"Points at Joey's pen".Uh,uh gimme. Can you see me operating a drill press?.

Joey:I don't know.What are you wearing?.

We all looks at Joey.

Ross:Pheebs why would you want to operate a drill press?.

Phoebe:Just for some short term work.You know until I get back some of my massage clients.

Chandler:Pirates again?.

Phoebe:No nothing like that.I was just...such a dummie.I taught this massage yourself at home workshop.And they are.

Joey:Hey,hey,Chan.She could work for you.

Chandler:"Sarcastically".Thanks Joey that's a good idea.

Phoebe:What...I could,I could do it.What is it?.

Chandler:Well my secretary is gonna be out for a couple of weeks.She is having one of her boobs redused.

Ross looks at Chandler.

Chandler:It's a whole big boob story.

Phoebe:I could be a secretary.

Chandler:Well you know Pheebs.I don't know if it's your kinda thing because it involves a lot of being normal.For a large portion of the day.

Phoebe:I could do that.

We hear a beeping by Ross.

Rachel:What are you playing with?.

Ross:Oh it's my new beeper.

Joey:What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for?.

Tabitha:Is it like for dinosaur emergencies. Help,Come quick,They're still extinct."Laughs".

Ross:No it's for when Carol goes into labor. She can get me wherever I am.I mean all she has to do is to dial 55-JIMBO.

Chandler:A cool phone number and a possible name for the kid.

Monica:All right I'll see you guys later."Gets up".

Rachel:Off to see young Ethan?.

Monica:Thank you.

Joey:How young is young Ethan?.Young?.

Monica:He's...our age.

Chandler:When we were?.

Monica:Okay he's a senior in college.

Ross:College?.

Chandler:Whoa!.And this manchild has no problem with how old you are?.

Monica:No of course not.It's not even an issue.Cause I told him I was 22.

Everyone:What?.

Monica:Oh I can't pass for 22?.

Phoebe:Well maybe 25-26.

Monica:I am 26.

Phoebe:There you go.