3

-November 11th 1994-

   Later at the Wake at the Gellers house.Ross is lying on his back with Phoebe squatting over him checking to see if he's injured.

Phoebe:Okay don't worry I'm just checking to see if the muscle's in spasm...huh.

Ross:W-what is it?.

Phoebe:You missed a belt loop.

Ross:Oh!.N-no.

Phoebe:Okay it's in spasm.

Judy:Here sweetie here.I took these when I had my golfing accident."Hands Ross a bottle of pills.Then turns to Monica and pats her hair over her ears".

   Later Ross emerges from a hallway grinning and he is obviously very stoned.

Phoebe:Hey look who's up!.

Tabitha:How do you feel?.

Ross:I feel great.I feel great,I feel great.

Monica:Wow those pills really worked huh?.

Ross:Not the first two but the second two wo!...I love you guys.You guys are the greatest.I love my sister's."Kisses Tabitha and  Monica's foreheads".I love Pheebs..."Hugs her".

Phoebe:Oh!.That's so nice...

Ross:Chandler!.

Chandler:Hey.

Ross:"Hugs him".And listen man if you wanna be gay,be gay.Doesn't matter to me.

???:"Turns to a friend".You were right.

The ladies walk off and leave Chandler.

Ross:Rachel.Rachel.Rachel."Sits down beside her".I love you the most.

Rachel:Oh well you know who I love the most?.

Ross:No.

Rachel:You!.

Ross:Oh...you don't get it!."Passes out onto Rachel".

   Soon a large crowd of men are now watching the game with Joey.

Rachel:"Still trapped under Ross".Pheebs could you maybe hand me a cracker?.

Me,Monica and Judy begin conversation.

Judy:"To Monica".Your grandmother would have hated this.

Monica:Well sure what with it being her funeral and all.

Judy:No I'd be hearing about Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?,I didn't spend enough on flowers and if I spent more she'd be saying Why are you wasting your money?,I don't need flowers I'm dead.

Tabitha:That sounds like Nana.

Judy:Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?.

Monica:I can imagine.

Judy:I'm telling you it's a wonder your mother turned out to be the positive life affirming person that she is.

Monica:That is a wonder...So tell me something Mom.If you had to do it all over again I mean if she was here right now would you tell her?.

Judy:Tell her what?.

Monica:How she drove you crazy picking on every little detail like your hair...for example.

Judy:I'm not sure I know what you're getting at.

Monica:Do you think things would have been better if you'd just told her the truth?.

Judy:No.I think some things are better left unsaid.I think it's nicer when people just get along.

Monica:Huh.

Judy:More wine dear?.

Monica:Oh I think so.

Judy:"Reaches out to fiddle with Monica's hair again".Those earrings look really lovely on you.

Monica:Thank you.They're yours.

Judy:Actually they were Nana's.

   There is a cry of disappointment from the crowd of men.

Jack:Now I'm depressed!..."To everyone".Even more than I was.

   Later at Central Perk we are all looking at old photos.

Rachel:Hey who's this little naked guy?.

Ross:That little naked guy would be me.

Rachel:Aww look at the little thing.

Ross:Yes,Yes fine that is my penis.Can we be grown ups now?.

I chuckle and smile.

Chandler:Who are those people?.

Ross:Got me.

Monica:Oh that's Nana right there in the middle."Reads the back".Me and the gang at Java Joe's.

Rachel:Wow Monica you look just like your grandmother.How old was she there?.

Monica:Let's see 1939...yeah 24,25?.

Ross:Looks like a fun gang.

   Everyone looks at eachother and smiles and Ross and Monica look at me as of to include me.

Joey:Oh look!,look!,look!,look!.I got Monica naked!.

Ross:"Looks".N-no that would be me again. I'm uh.just trying something.

Phoebe:Tabitha why aren't there any pictures of you?.

Tabitha:Jack and Judy didn't adopt me till I was 9 years old...

Chandler:What's your birth name?.

Tabitha:Tabitha Ella Sanderson.Changed it to Geller in 1978.

   Phoebe and Chandler nod as Joey looks at me.

Joey:You introduced yourself to me as Tabitha Sanderson.

Tabitha:I know...I used my birth last name more often back then.

   Joey rolls his eyes at me and my heart breaks that he is annoyed by me.

-November 22nd 1994-

   Me and Monica enter Central Perk together.

Monica:Hey.Ross did you know Mom and Dad are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving?.

Ross:No they're not.

Monica:Yes they are.

Tabitha:The Blymens invited them.

Ross:You're wrong.

Monica:We are not wrong.

Ross:You're wrong.

Monica:No I just talked to them.

Ross:"Gets up upset".I'm calling Mom.

   Ross goes to call my adopted parents as Joey enters.His face looks colorful.

Joey:Hey,Hey.

Chandler:Hey.

Phoebe:Hey.

Chandler:And this from the cry for help department.Are you wearing makeup?.

Joey:Yes I am.As of today I am officially Joey Tribbiani actor slash model.

Chandler:That's so funny cause I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani man slash woman.

   I laugh and Joey glares at me so I stop as he rolls his eyes at me.

Phoebe:What were you modeling for?.

Joey:You know those posters for the city free clinic?.

Monica:Oh wow so you're gonna be one of those healthy,healthy,healthy guys?.

Phoebe:You know the asthma guy was really cute.

Chandler:Do you know which one you're gonna be?.

Joey:No but I hear lyme disease is open so..."Crosses fingers".

Chandler:Good luck man.I hope you get it.

Joey:Thanks.

   Ross comes back to the couch.And looks as Me and Monica.

Ross:Well you were right.How can they do this to us huh?.It's Thanksgiving.

Monica:Ok I'll tell you what.How about I cook dinner at my place?.I'll make it just like Mom's.

Ross:Will you make the mashed potatoes with the lumps?.

Monica:You know they're not actually supposed to have....I'll work on the lumps."To Joey". Joey you're going home right?.

Joey:Yeah.

Monica:"To Chandler".And I assume Chandler you are still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays.

Chandler:Yes every single one of them.

Monica:"To Phoebe".Phoebe you're gonna be with your grandma?.

Phoebe:Yes and her boyfriend.But we're celebrating Thanksgiving in December cause he is lunar.

Monica:So you're free Thursday then?.

Phoebe:Yeah.Oh can I come?.

Monica:Yeah."To Rachel".Rach are you thinking you're gonna make it to Vail?.

Rachel:Absolutely.Shoop,Shoop,Shoop.Only a hundred and two dollars to go.

Chandler:I thought it was $98.50.

Rachel:Yeah well it was.I-I broke a cup.

Ross:Well I'm off to Carol's.

Phoebe:Ooh,Ooh!.Why don't we invite her?.

Ross:"Mimicks".Ooh,ooh.Because she's my ex-wife and will probably want to bring her ooh,ooh lesbian life partner.