Ch 11

I had reached my limit. The fire that had been simmering inside me for months — years, really — boiled over. I stepped forward, my chest tight but my voice firm, carrying every ounce of frustration, anger, and exhaustion I had been holding in.

"Ate, tama na!" I snapped, the words louder than I intended, but they couldn't be softened. "I've had enough of this life you're trying to make me live!"

Her eyes widened, surprise flickering across her face, but I didn't pause. I needed her to hear every word, feel every ounce of the rebellion I had been swallowing for so long.

"I ran away, if you must put it that way," I continued, voice trembling slightly with emotion, "partly because of this supposed wedding that I didn't even want. Ni hindi n'yo man nga lang ako tinanong if I even wanted it to begin with. Pero ano pa bang nakakagulat do'n di ba? You never cared about what I wanted. And now you have the audacity to show up here, throwing threats and offering money, as if my life, my choices, my freedom, are things you can buy!"

Ate Ava opened her mouth to interrupt, but I held up a hand, letting my words pour out without pause. "Do you know what it's like to live your entire life under someone else's rules? To be measured, controlled, monitored? Kuya Raymond — si kuya Raz — he was micromanaged by you every step of the way. Every decision, every move, every success. And what did he do? He became the entrepreneur he is, striving to succeed in order to carve out a life that wasn't dictated by you. Alam mo bang ang pangarap ni kuya is maging isang commercial pilot? Hindi di ba? Ginawa ni kuya ang best n'ya to live by yours and papa's standards, hindi dahil gusto niya but because kailangan. And you see, he succeeded. He brought accolades and honor to the family name at naging sapat lahat 'yon for you all to let him be. Pero ngayong ako naman ang nagdedesisyon para sa sarili ko, suddenly, nothing's ever enough!"

I took a shaky breath, letting the words hang in the air, each one weighted with years of frustration. "I've given you everything you could have ever wanted — honors, achievements, the image of the perfect daughter, the perfect sister — and yet, you dare to ask for more. You dare to demand more from me, like I'm some machine built to fulfill your vision of what the De Torre name should be! Nakakapagod kayo!"

Lea's hand found mine, squeezing gently. Her presence grounded me, gave me the courage to continue. "I'm done," I said, my voice quieter now, but no less intense. "I'm done living for anyone but myself. I won't be another trophy on your shelf or papa's, ate. I won't live a life I don't want, for a family that doesn't see me as a person. And I won't let you dictate my choices anymore. Tama na, ate Ava. Enough is enough and this is where I draw the line."

Ate's face was a mixture of shock, anger, and disbelief. She opened her mouth, but no words came out immediately. I felt a small spark of triumph, knowing that for the first time in my life, I had spoken my truth and stood my ground.

"I'm not yours to control," I said, taking a step back, letting the weight of my defiance settle in. "I'm not anyone's possession. And if you can't understand that, then that's on you. I'm done apologizing for wanting my own life. Ako naman muna. Sarili ko naman."

Lea gave my hand one last squeeze, and I let the tension drain slowly from my shoulders. Ate Ava's fury might have been seething just beneath the surface, but for the first time, I felt a profound, liberating sense of freedom. I had finally spoken my truth, and nothing — not money, not threats, not the weight of expectations — could take it away.

Once Ate Ava stormed out, slamming the door behind her with a finality that still echoed through the apartment, the tension I had been holding in for months finally broke. I sank down onto the couch, burying my face in my hands, the adrenaline draining and leaving raw, unfiltered exhaustion and sorrow in its wake.

Lea knelt beside me almost instantly, her presence gentle, grounding. Her hand on my shoulder was steady, warm — a quiet anchor in the storm of emotions I could no longer contain.

"I should have... I should have done this long ago," I whispered, my voice cracking, muffled against my palms. "Even when I was twenty-one, even when I was scared, I should have stood up for myself. For us. For the life I wanted. I was... I was too afraid of disappointing everyone, of ruining everything, of hurting anyone... and look where it got me. Nakakapagod, Lei. Nakakapagod at nakakahinayang."

Lea leaned closer, tilting my chin gently so I had to look at her. "Shh," she soothed. "It's not too late now. You're standing up for yourself. You're doing exactly what you should have — even if it took time to get here."

I couldn't stop the tears anymore. They slid freely down my cheeks as I let my emotions spill over, the years of repression, fear, and obligation finally finding an outlet. "I was such a fool," I admitted, voice raw. "I chased expectations, I tried to be perfect, I tried to give them everything... and I forgot about me. I forgot that I'm allowed to want things for myself. And even now, even after everything, the only thing that feels right, the only thing that makes the emptiness inside me feel less... is being with you."

Lea's eyes softened, glimmering with empathy and understanding. She wrapped me in her arms, holding me close, letting me cry without judgment. Her warmth, her steady presence, made the world outside fade — ate Ava, the wedding, the family's expectations — all of it could wait.

"You're not a fool," she whispered into my hair. "You're human. And you finally get to make your own choices. That's courage, Rafa. That's bravery. And I'll be right here with you, however you need me."

I clung to her, sobbing softly, letting the tears wash away the years of guilt and fear. For the first time in my life, I felt seen, truly seen, and I knew — no matter what came next — that standing here with Lea, in this stolen, quiet moment, was where I belonged.

The apartment then quietened except for our steady breathing and the faint hum of the city outside. I finally pulled back slightly, wiping at my tears, and looked at Lea. Her eyes were soft, patient, unwavering — the kind of look that made me feel like I could stand on my own two feet again.

"I... I need to decide for myself," I murmured, voice still shaky but gaining strength. "Not because anyone expects it. Not because it's convenient or safe or what my family wants. I've been living in their shadows for too long. I can't do it anymore. I need to... live my life."

Lea nodded slowly, her hand still wrapped around mine. "And you will," she said gently. "No one can take that from you. You get to choose your path — your career, your love, your life. And I'll be here, beside you, if you want me."

I took a deep breath, the weight of years pressing down on me, and finally felt the tiniest spark of clarity. "The wedding... I'm not going," I said quietly, letting the words hang in the air. "I can't. I won't. They can be angry, disappointed, whatever they want. But I can't live that lie anymore. I need... space to be me. To make my own choices, even if it means disappointing everyone else."

Lea's lips curved into that small, knowing smile that always made my chest ache. "Then don't go. Stay here, stay with me, for however long you need to figure things out. Nobody can force you. Nobody can dictate your life but you."

A warmth spread through me, the kind of comfort I hadn't felt in years. I leaned into her, resting my head on her shoulder, and let myself feel it fully — relief, safety, freedom, and an undeniable closeness that had been growing quietly between us for months.

For the first time, I realized that freedom wasn't just leaving; it was claiming the right to exist as myself, unshackled by expectation, unbound by obligation. And for the first time in years, I felt like I could breathe again.

"Uuwi ako sa Houston soon to talk to my parents. I'm reclaiming my life, Lei. But thank you," I whispered, my voice muffled against her shirt. "For everything. For understanding, for being here... for staying."

Lea pressed a gentle kiss to my temple. "Always," she murmured. "Always, Rafa."

And in that quiet, with the world outside still spinning in chaos, I finally felt like I was choosing me — choosing my life, my freedom, and the person I wanted beside me.