The Dark Forest: Breakdown

Trigger Warning: Suicide attempt while pregnant, mental breakdown, emotional distress.

This chapter is extremely emotional, if you want to skip the rough parts then go to Willow's POV towards the middle of the chapter.  

JJs POV

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME." Willow slams her hands into my chest, making me stumble backwards into Pope, "Don't.. don't touch me."

I put my shaky hands up in the air, my heart beating a mile a minute, watching the love of my life fall apart, "Willow, please just.. just take a deep breath, okay?"

She frantically shakes her head, stumbling to the side, almost falling onto the pull out couch, "I'm.. I'm fine, I'm breathing, see," She takes a staggered breath, her eyes rolling back a little, "I don't want to be t-touched," A sob escapes her mouth, "No one cared about.. about my b-baby tonight." 

"We do care about Emmy," I soften my tone, eyeing our friends watching with horrified expressions, "I promise I was thinking about you and Emmy, I fucked up and I was reckless, I'll admit that, but that doesn't mean I don't love both of you and care about you." 

"NO," She screeches, making me flinch, "You don't f-fucking care, JJ, you went off and fucked Kiara today, almost didn't make it back to the ferry in t-time. You've been fucking her since the island, m-maybe even.. even before that. Why didn't you tell me sooner?" She wildly looks between me and Kie, "You didn't h-have to hurt me.. me like this. I know she's better than me, I would have backed off if you told m-me you loved her instead." 

"Baby, I did not cheat on you, I could never sleep with someone else." I try to reach out for her but she stumbles backwards, "Willow, please believe me, there is nothing going on between me and Kie." 

She shakes her head again, "You told me.. me that you n-needed her." 

I furrow my brows, "When did I do that? Because I don't remember ever telling you that I needed someone other than you and our daughter."

"I-I wanted to go with you t-tonight, but you said you needed her, not me." She sobs, "I-I have.. have to be with you or-or you'll want HER." 

"Princess, you needed to stay with Emmy. I only needed Kie because she was helping me stop the train, it wasn't like that." 

"Willow," Kie speaks up from behind me, emotion clear in her tone, "I'm sorry I caused this, but I never wanted JJ like that, I was only flirting and kissed him because of Rafe. JJ and I have never had sex and we never will."

"DON'T TALK TO ME." She grabs an old DVD case from the book shelf and throws it at us, hitting the floor near Kie's feet, "He.. he wants you, not.. not me, so just don't talk to me. It.. it hurts too too much." She grabs the shelf when she starts to fall over, I step forward, ready to grab her, "NO NO NO NO," She backs away, clutching her chest as she goes, "S-S-STOP."

"Willow, please," I cry, "please calm down." 

Emmy starts to scream in Sarah's arms, clearly scared of Willows breakdown, she crosses the room, her arms stretched out for her, "M-mama's here." She pries Emmy from Sarah's arms, ignoring our protests, "I'm.. I'm sorry, Em." She staggers away, slurring her words as she starts to sing.

"Willow.." I follow her to the kitchen and carefully turn her around, "let me have Emmy."

She snaps her head up to stare at me, pain written all over her face. Fuck this sucks, but I can't let her have Emmy when she's like this. 

"NO," She quickly backs away, "Y-You can't take her from me!" 

I reach out to get Emmy, being careful not to hurt her but Willow jerks her away, making her cry harder, "Willow, stop. This isn't safe." I look back at our friends, having no idea how to safely get my daughter out of my girls arms while she's.. while she's unstable. 

"No, she's m-mine." Willow sobs, "GO AWAY. ALL OF YOU." 

Sarah brushes passed me and grabs her shoulders, "Willow, you're going to give me that baby because you are not okay right now, do you understand me?" Willow shakes her head, trying to pull away but Sarah keeps her hold on her, "Listen to me, honey, listen," She cups her face, "you need a break, okay? So let me take Emmy into the room to get her ready for bed while you take a minute to focus, I promise I am not taking her away from you. She just... she doesn't need to see you this upset," She starts to cry with her, "look at your daughter, Willow, she's scared right now, and its like 2am, this is not healthy for her."

Willow looks down at Emmy, seeing tears streaming down her little red cheeks, her cries filling the air, "I'm.. I'm so sorry." She shakily hands Emmy to Sarah, watching them disappear into the hallway with an unreadable expression, "I, um, I," She looks up at me, harshly wiping her tears, "She's.. she's scared of me."

"No, baby, she's just tired." I try to reassure her, "We kept her up way past her bedtime and it's just a lot, but she loves you." 

She digs in her pocket for a few seconds, pulling a small baggy out and dumps the contents into her hand. I squint my eyes, trying to see what she has without getting too close incase she doesn't want me to be near her still. I can't tell what it is, but she's looking at it with a smile, whatever it is clearly calmed her down. 

"Hey, hey, don't," Pope crosses the room, grabbing her hand when she lifts it towards her mouth, "you're pregnant, Willow, and you're breastfeeding still. If you take this, you'll risk hurting both of your babies, do you want to do that?" 

My heart clenches when I realize what she was about to do, I rush to Pope's side, my eyes landing on a handful worth of pills in my beautiful Princesses hand. Enough to kill her within the hour. 

"Baby, where did you get these?" I caress her distressed face, "Is this oxy?"

She nods, "You n-never flushed them." 

I internally curse myself for forgetting, everything got so crazy back when I took them from her, I never went back and got rid of it, "Have you taken any yet?"

"No, but.. but I wanted to." She leans into my hand, fluttering her eyes closed, her hand still in Pope's, the pills sticking to her sweaty palm. 

Pope grimaces when I glance at him, "I'm, um, I'm going to take these, Willow, okay?"

She abruptly closes her hand and jerks it away from him, "No." 

"Princess, you can't take them. You'll kill the baby and yourself." 

She sarcastically smiles, "Why do.. do you even care? It's not your b-baby."

"That doesn't matter, I care about you, which means I care about your baby." I pull her into my chest when I see her struggling to stand, "I'll be the dad, no matter if its mine or not." 

"No one ever listens to me," She cries, her arms wrapping around my torso, I sigh and pull her closer into me, "you.. you never defend me, Jay, Kie has been picking.. picking on me for-for months and you laughed with her and hurt my feelings." 

My stomach twists, guilt creeping in that she would think I would ever laugh at her, "I didn't know I was hurting your feelings, baby, I promise I would never pick on you. I was only laughing with everyone, joking around like we always do." 

"I wasn't laughing." She sniffles, "How.. how long?"

I pinch my eyebrows together in confusion, peeling her head back so I can see her eyes, "How long for what?"

There's so much pain in those beautiful honey brown eyes, it's making me feel sick, "Have you been falling for her and.. and hooking up with her?"

"You are the only girl I have fallen for Willow Brooke Routledge." I rub my thumbs on her cheek bones, my fingers in her hair, "I. love. you. and. only. you." I kiss her forehead, sighing when I see her flinch, "I have never hooked up with her and I never will." 

"W-Why waste your time trying to love.. love someone like me? When you know there's better girls out there." She quotes me from one of the worst days of my life, "Why settle for a g-good girl like me? That's what you told me, right?"

"I didn't mean any of that, you know I lied that day," I tear up, my own words cutting both of our hearts into pieces, "I was trying to push you away and hurt you." 

"Lies," She mutters, "always lies." 

"I don't lie anymore, Princess." 

She moves around in my arms, bringing her hand in between us, "I can't... I can't.." 

"You can't what, baby?" I watch her start to breakdown again, not understanding the sudden mood shift again. 

"I'm.. I'm trying to be okay, stop.. stop yelling at me." She runs one of her hands in her hair, tugging at the roots, "STOP YELLING AT ME."

"Hey, it's okay," I glance at our friends who have been silently watching from across the living room, "Is it the voice?"

She nods, "He.. he doesn't want me to do it."

"Do what?" My voice breaks, because I know what she's referring to but I don't want to admit it, I don't want this to be our reality, "Baby, do what?"

She looks into my eyes, a frown set on her lips, "I'm sorry I've never been good e-enough." 

"You are--" My words are cut off when she pops the pills into her mouth, one of my hands around the back of her head, using the other to grab her jaw, forcing her mouth open, "Do not swollen it, baby, please do not fucking swallow." I can hear Cleo and Kie crying behind me, but I can't take my eyes off my girl while she's fighting against my hold, "POPE, HELP." A sob escapes me when I catch Sarah's horrified expression from the hallway, "DO NOT FUCKING SWALLOW WILLOW." 

Pope rushes to my side, pulling Willow into his arms where the back of her head is against his chest. I slip my fingers into her mouth, feeling around for the pills, ignoring the fact that she's trying to bite me. 

"How many were there?" I choke out while dropping three pills onto the ground, "Pope how many pills were in her fucking hand?" 

Willow sobs around my fingers, her body limp in Pope's arms. Fuck I hate seeing her like this, it's taking everything in me not to breakdown with her. 

"Uh," Pope struggles to hold Willow up when she flings herself backwards, "I think eight."

"Fuck," I squeeze her cheeks, trying not to hurt her, avoiding her eyes while we man handle her, "why baby?"

More sobs rip through her, uncoherent words around my fingers, but I can't let her go or she'll swallow these stupid pills and fucking die on me, killing our baby in the process and leaving behind our perfect little girl who needs her Mama. 

I flick three more pills out of her mouth, keeping my other hand on her jaw, "I'm sorry, Willow, I'm so fucking sorry. We're not trying to hurt you."

"We've got you." Pope murmurs in her ear, tears running down his own face, "We've got you."

I finally breathe out when I get the last two pills out, though they're partly disintegrated now, but at least she didn't get enough to hurt her or the babies. My hands pull away from her face, taking her from Pope's arms, her sobs fill the silent room, breaking me down with every gasp, "I've got you, Princess. I love you... I love you."

She slumps in my arms, "I'm... I'm so-sorry."

"Don't be, I'm not mad." I lean down and scoop her into my arms, sitting us on the pull out couch in front of our friends, "We'll get through this, baby, because it's us, we'll be okay." I quote her, "I'm not walking away from you, okay? You and Emmy are all I want and I'll tell you this until the day I die." 

"I can't.. I can't lose you." She curls into my chest, her shaky hands holding onto my shirt like I'll disappear if she lets go, "I won't.. I won't survive it if you... leave me for... someone else." 

"I could never," I caress her cheek, "I couldn't live a life without you or Emmy in it." 

I really couldn't live without her. And the fact that she thinks I could, hurts. I hate that we're in this position, I should have realized I was hurting her so much, that she was this upset about me being closer to Kie. I never did anything to cheat on her, but Kie kissing me doesn't help my case on convincing Willow that I only want her. 

All these insecurities she has are from my stupid tantrum at Barry's house, if I had just swallowed my pride and took responsibility for my shitty behavior instead of turning the attention on her, making her feel like she was worthless, we wouldn't be going through this right now. 

She isn't okay, and it's killing me watching her struggle this much. She was really going to kill herself because she thought she was losing me. How fucked up is that? I caused this shit and I have no idea how to fix it, because she is literally perfect in my eyes, no other girl compares to her. 

I can't lose her. Emmy can't lose her. Our unborn child can't lose her. 

~~~~~

Willow's POV

I feel lonely waking up without JJ in bed with me since I made him leave with everyone else last night, well I lost my shit on them again until they finally left. I'm pretty sure Sarah and JJ stayed and watched me until I fell asleep cuddling Emmy though, but I don't think they stayed the night since all I hear is my dad and brother moving around in the house this morning. 

I wanted them to leave because I was embarrassed by the fact that JJ and Pope basically had to force me not to kill myself, which I regret doing. In the moment I wasn't thinking about how my actions would hurt my babies or my loved ones, I felt like being here was hurting them more. Emmy was scared of me for being upset, JJ looked devastated and lost, like he didn't even recognize me, which made me feel ten times more insecure about myself. My friends looked shocked and maybe even scared of me. Whatever. 

I really showed my crazy side, that's for sure. 

Emmy's still passed out from being up late, so I sleepily slip out of bed, tugging on JJs hoodie and some sweatpants. When I notice my dad and John B talking in the kitchen, I hide behind the hallway wall and listen in. I'm nosy, sue me. 

"We gotta be hush-hush about this, JB, you know that, right?" Big John asks, "We can't tell your friends."

"No, come on. Dad, they're just as much a part of this as you are."He laughs, "Want to put them in danger?"

"What? Dad--""Would you knowingly put them in harm's way if you could help it?" There's silence, "I didn't think so. Splits are still the same. We'll tell them later, but for now, for safety, stay quiet, got it?"John B sighs, "Yeah."

"Not to mention, your sister isn't stable right now," He adds, "you heard what JJ and Sarah told us when we got home, she's lost it, so bringing her into this would only cause problems for us." 

I walk into the room and cross my arms, "What about me?"

My dad quickly grabs the rock statue off the table and hides it in a cabinet, "Good morning, bug."

"Were you ever going to tell me about the rock thingy?" I angrily ask, "The.. the gnomon or whatever."

"Willow."

"What rock thing?" He plays dumb. 

I scoff, "I saw you guys at that place running around in the dark looking for it, then you held it up to the light and it did that.. that weird eye thing." I cross the room to face my dad, "I don't know how but in my mind.. I saw you."

"You.." He furrows his brows, "no that's not... did you follow us?" He grabs my shoulders and lightly shakes me, "Huh?"

"Hey hey hey," John B jumps up and tries to get between us but my dad doesn't let me go, "dad stop."

"No," Tears burst from my eyes while flashbacks of Rafe and JJ hurting me flicker in my mind, "I didn't follow you, I saw you when I was passed out." 

"That's not possible, Willow." He angrily exclaims, "Did you and your friends follow us? Or Rafe?"

"No!" I shove him away from me, "I heard you talking in the van, I heard you say you don't trust me, even though I haven't done anything to you!" I raise my voice, "I almost died over the gold, I was raped multiple times, I.. I tried to kill myself because.. because I scared my baby and my fiancé might be in love with someone else, but who cares right? As long as you have John B by your side, you're happy. Who cares if Willow is okay after all of that." A sob slips passes my lips, "No one cares about me."  

"Willow.." John B reaches for me but I back up, shaking my head at him. 

"I know that Rafe has this hold on my life, okay, I know." I blubber, "I mean I'm fucking pregnant with his child--"

"What?" John Bs eyes widen, "You're pregnant again?"

I nod, tears dripping off my chin, "He did it on purpose, but.." I look up at my dad's angry expression, "but I'm not on his side. He hurts me, you have to believe me!"

"You can't tell anyone about what you know, kid." My selfish dad warns, "No one can know about the gnomon." 

I stare with my empty eyes, my chest tightening from the pain of never being important, "That's all you're worried about right now?" 

I tell him I'm pregnant for the second time while being a kid myself and the other painful things in my life and.. and all he cares about is the stupid rock statue? 

"I'm not stupid."

I'm sorry, I know you aren't. I'm just hurt. Wait.. what? You're.. holy shit. 

"Pops.." John Bs sad expression only makes my heart hurt more. 

Dad will always put the gold before us. 

"Fuck you." I shove my dad as hard as I can before running to my room, locking myself inside to hide my tears. 

~~~~~

"Come on, Will." John B picks up Emmy from my bed, tickling her side to make her giggle, "Everyone's here, how about you get some fresh air with me?"

I sniffle and follow him out to the porch, all my friends are gathered around my dad while he spins around with JJ on his back, like they used to do when we were younger. John B and I both stop for a moment, taking in the happy mood around us.

"I'm still here for you, Will." John B side hugs me, "I'm sorry."

"Thanks, Johnny." I take Emmy from him and quietly walk over to one of the hammocks. 

JJ watches me, his eyes soft when he see's how upset I am. I probably look like shit; mental breakdown, lack of sleep, crying for hours, it hasn't done me any favors. 

"Uh, so pogue meeting." John B announces, his voice wavering, preparing himself to lie to all of our friends for our gold obsessed father. 

I watch Kie and JJ plop down onto chairs that are close together, making me feel even more alone than I already feel, everyone else fans out to stand around in a circle. 

"Yeah, so we, um... we went to the archives in Charleston, and, uh," John B flickers his eyes around before looking down at the ground, "it was... it was a dead end. A dry hole." 

"So... so that's the gold, the cross, and now El Dorado. We're three-for-three, guys." Pope lets out a strained laugh, throwing a stick towards the water out of frustration, "The streak continues, that's great." He storms off before anyone can calm him down but Cleo is quick to follow after him.Kie stands up and frowns when she looks over at me, "See you, Willow."

"Yeah whatever." I grumble, she nods and walks away, wiping tears from her face. 

Last night, during the end of my breakdown, I accused JJ and Kie of sleeping together again. I have no idea how to feel after everything that happened, it was chaos. Sarah and JJ broke down with me, Kie was a mess while denying it, Pope and Cleo started yelling at them. It was unhealthy. 

"Willow, can we talk?" JJ quietly asks. 

"Talk." I snuggle Emmy, kissing her sweet face while she pulls my hair and babbles. 

"Alone." He adds, I look up to see him eyeing my dad.

"Dad, go away." 

"Willow, drop the attitude." Big John rolls out of his hammock and glares at me, "Or you'll be grounded, after the way you acted this morning, you should be locked in your room for a month."

I laugh, ignoring JJs shocked expression, "I don't give a shit what you say anymore."

"Willow, stop." John B warns.

"No, he wants to put his hands on me and threaten me after everything I've already been through," I get off the hammock and hand Emmy to JJ, "I am done dealing with you and your stupid gold obsession, dad."

He towers over me, "Don't say another word about it."

"Or what?" I taunt, "Huh? Gonna shoot me? Yeah I had a dream last night that you shot two dudes on a boat and John B had to watch. And by the way he's acting right now, I think it actually happened, didn't it?"

Fear flashes in my dad's eyes, "What is going on with you.. you're seeing things?"

"I see your lies. I see your secrets. I see right through your bullshit." I raise my voice, "I don't know what's wrong with me, but that stupid rock is stuck in my goddamn head." 

"Hey.."

I'm sorry.

"It's calling to you." Big John mutters, "You're.. you're the missing piece." 

My face twists in confusion, "I'm what?"

"Nothing, nothing." His smile reaches his eyes, "Just know that you're special, okay?"

"Believe me now?"

Maybe..

I scoff, "I've been told that before and it turned out to be a lie."

JJ uses his free arm to pull me into his chest, "That's not true. You are special."

"Lets give them space to talk." Sarah whispers behind me.

"Baby, I never cheated." He tightens his hold on me and Emmy when I tense at his words, "I could never do that to you."

"You were gone for so long with Kie and then you both were acting weird." I cry into his chest, "And.. and.."

He sighs after I trail off, "Kie's parents flipped on her and then Mr. C said shit to me, it was a big thing and then when I left, I sorta.. stole Mr. Cs money clip which that pissed Kie off. That's why I was upset and I was dealing with you after you passed out with Emmy in the bathroom. It was a lot to handle."

I wrap my arms around his torso and bury my face into Emmy's side, letting her grab my hair, "What about on the island? You ran off to be alone with her and only wanted to have sex once with me, which isn't normal for you to go so long."

"You weren't doing so good, Willow, I didn't think you had the energy to have sex all the time. We had our special moment that one night, which was amazing for me, but I didn't want to feel like I was taking advantage of you when you weren't feeling good most days." 

"So I made a huge scene last night for nothing?"

He lets out a sad chuckle, "Yeah, but we understand you're going through shit right now. No one's mad at you." 

I look up at him while resting my chin on his chest, "I can't handle life without you, Jay. I can't."

"I'm right here."

"You don't get it," More tears slip down my face, "you didn't think about us when you made the choice to be the cop distraction and get yourself thrown from a bridge. You promised me that the gold wouldn't come before us, you promised me that we wouldn't get hurt anymore."

"I'm sorry, baby," He tears up, "I did think of you and Emmy. That's all I thought about when I was driving, I regretted doing it but I couldn't back out, I tried ditching the cops but.. well you saw what happened."

"We could have lost you, Jay." I squeeze him tight, "We would have been all alone."

"I know," He murmurs, "I was being reckless, I shouldn't have done it." 

"I was scared."

"I know."

"Emmy deserves better than what she went through last night."

"I know."

"But no one cares."

"I know," He kisses my forehead, "but I care and you care. We can do better, we won't put Emmy in a dangerous situation like that again."

"You can't promise that, Jay, not with the life we live, not with the friends and family we have."

"I am trying so hard, Willow, I promise. I know I let you both down and I feel like shit about it."

"I know." I kiss his chest, "I feel bad too. I should have stayed home with Emmy, I knew it could be dangerous and we still went."

"It's not safe for you to be home alone, you had to go."

"Exactly." I sigh, "Emmy and I will always be apart of the dangerous stuff, because you're apart of it, and my brother is apart of it. Pogues stick together." 

"I'm sorry, Princess." He laughs when Emmy squeals, "I'm gonna go see if I can get my old job back at Guffy's, will you be okay if I go? I won't be long."

"I'll be fine." I take Emmy from him, "I love you."

"I love you too, my beautiful Princesses." 

I steal a soft kiss from him before heading inside to take a nap since I'm still exhausted. 

~~~~~

JJs POV

My thoughts are all over the place right now, I can't stop worrying about Willow and now I've got the cross on my mind again all because I dropped by Guffy's Marina to try and get my old job back, once he turned me down I went to leave but I stopped when I heard Rafe and Barry talking about melting the damn cross down. Who does that? That'll earn them a place in hell, that's for sure. When I got closer, I saw them holding up small bars of gold, and jews, smiling amongst themselves like they were proud of what they did. Willow was right, the gold does bring out evil in people. 

Fuck. Pope needs to know. He deserves to know the cross is gone.

I run as fast as I can all the way to Heyward's shop, "Pope!" I stop when I notice the weird vibe between him and Cleo, "Is everything all good? I'm detecting a heavy vibe right now."

"Pope's quitting school."

"Being a coroner is kind of weird anyways, Pope. Willow and I dropped out too, so you aren't alone." I pant while I try to regain my breath from running, "So I was down at Guffy's, alright and I was trying to get my job back. And I see the catty across the way, and on it... is Rafe and Barry. I sneak over to hear what they're talking about... Pope, he has the cross. And he melted it down. I'm sorry, bro."

"FUCK!" He yells, "Of course, it was Rafe."

"Yeah," I sit down on the bench behind me, "I mean, we probably could've guessed that."

"The Cross of Santo Domingo, desecrated! For money? God!" He grabs a broom and smashes it against the ground, splitting the handle, "This is messed up, man. Even for them."

"I know." I nod, flinching from his outburst, "Couldn't agree more, man."

"They're just gonna keep getting away with it." He stares off in the distance, "They're gonna keep doing that shit. Gonna keep winning."

"I mean, Pope, is that news to you?"

"No. But I'm sick of being the good guy." He states in a low voice as he walks away. 

Shit.

"Pope."

"Pope, where are you going?" I turn to Cleo, "Can you follow him to make sure he doesn't do something stupid? I need to go check on Willow and Emmy."

She nods, "I'm on it."

~~~~~

"Willow?" My eyes search the rooms while I walk through the Chateau, smiling when I see Emmy asleep in her crib with her little dolphin plushy next to her, Willow looks up from her book, a soft smile on her lips when I crawl into bed with her, "Hi Princess."

"Hi." She whispers back, "I missed you."

"I missed you too." I kiss her cheek, "Where is everyone?"

"Sarah and John B got into a fight, she stormed off and then him and Dad left in the van." 

"Do you think everyone will be gone for a while?" I murmur while kissing down her neck.

She quietly laughs, "Yeah, we have the whole place to ourselves."

"Perfect," I scoop her into my arms and slide off the bed, she pulls the door closed behind us as we leave the room so Emmy can sleep, once I get to the living room I set her down on the pull out couch and hover over her, "Do you want me, Willow?"

"Yes." She pulls me close, her lips feathering kisses along my jaw.

"Are you sure?" I ask again, noticing her shaky hands clutching onto my shirt, "It's okay if you're tired, baby." 

"No no, I want this, Jay. I promise." 

"Okay," I breathe out.

She wraps her legs around my waist, driving me crazy when she circles her hips up against my dick that's already painfully hard.

We ditch our clothes within seconds, our hands roaming each others bodies while we make out. I couldn't imagine being with another girl after having her this way. Nothing could compare to how good she makes me feel, to how amazing her body feels to me. I hate that I've made her feel insecure enough to not think she's the best thing to ever happen to me. 

I hover over her, letting my eyes take in every feature of hers, "You're perfect for me, Willow."

She smiles, "Do you really mean that?"

"I do." I kiss her softly, before trailing my tongue down her front until I reach between her thighs, she moans when my tongue laps at her clit. 

God the way she sounds turns me on so much. 

Her hands run through my hair, tugging at the roots just how I like, making me moan against her. I flicker my eyes up to watch her face, her body already tensing, slipping two fingers into her to push her over the edge, I want her to feel good. I move at a slow pace, dragging out the moment so I can enjoy her like this for a little longer. 

She gasps, her back arching so that her pussy grinds against my face. I love when she's like this, the way her body moves when I get her off, the way she looks at me while I pleasure her, it's one of the best sights to see in the world. 

Fuck she tastes so good. I'll never understand how she always tastes and smells like coconuts, but it's fucking intoxicating to me. 

When she relaxes I slip my fingers out of her and lick them, "Good girl." She pulls me up to her face so she can kiss me. I run my fingers into her hair on the side of her head, while grinding my dick along the outside of her pussy, "Ready baby?"

"Fuck me, Jay." She moans when I push into her, bottoming out from how wet she is, making me gasp from her grip on me.

She is always so goddamn tight. 

I take my time thrusting into her, letting her feel every inch of me, drawing out the pleasure with every stroke. I love when she pulls me close and kisses me softly, reminding me of how loved I am, how I have someone who cares about me. 

"I love you." I whisper into her ear.

"I love you too." She peers into my eyes, soft moans escaping her lips when I hit that sweet spot within her, "More than you know."

"More than you know." I kiss her again, my tongue swirling with hers while we move in sync. 

My hand slides between us, rubbing my fingers against her clit, speeding up my thrusts when I notice her getting close to finishing. I whimper when my emotions hit me, bringing tears to my eyes, she wipes my cheeks while her own tears roll down her temples. 

I don't know why we're so emotional, but we cry together as we finish. I can't even be embarrassed by the sounds I made because I know she would never judge me, and I could tell she loved every minute of hearing me come undone by her touch. 

We stay quiet when we shower together, though we do share the same smiles while we wash each other. 

"Do you want to stay here tonight?" Willow steps out of the shower before me. 

"Of course I do." I wrap my arms around her and kiss her forehead, "I love being with you and Emmy." 

"We love you being with us." She pulls away and heads to the room, I quickly follow after and lay in bed with her, letting her cuddle into my side. "I need more sleep."

"That's fine, Princess." I kiss her head, settling into my spot, smiling to myself, "I'll watch Emmy."  

I'm happy she's doing a little better today, though I know we're far from being past our issues. But seeing her smile, and noticing there's a bit of light in her eyes again, it makes me feel good. I don't ever want to see her in pain like she was last night, ever again. That was probably the worst night of my life, besides the days I physically hurt her. But we'll be okay, we can get through this together, I'll show her how much I care about her and Emmy. 

My Princesses, my worlds, I love them so damn much it hurts. 

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