Chapter 3

Chapter 3Friday 3Louis was fidgety. He was extremely fidgety. His palms were clamming up with a nervous sweat and his perfected fringe was feathering out from the constant worried run of his fingers lacing through it. He continually rubbed his hands on his tight red trousers to rid himself of the reminder that he was really fucking nervous. As his Tom-clad feet pressed down on the accelerator of his rickety old car, his light blue shirt clung to his chest like a suffocating film. The buzzing of the sideling drivers ran through his ears along with the slow murmur of the radio that was stuck on the same channel it had been from the start, and the flashing passing lights blinded him for less than a second each time.He didn't know why he was so tense.Well actually, he did. He was picking Harry up and taking him to, presumably, the boy's first ever gig. And that was what baffled him; why was he panicking about picking up a boy to take somewhere? It wasn't as if it were a foreign experience; he'd had many first dates at gigs. But this was different.Well obviously it was different; it wasn't a date in the first place. Louis was only there to make at least a slight friend of the boy, not anything further in that way whatsoever. The first would be a battle in itself, and Louis didn't know Harry enough to be able to think of him that way yet. Yes he was pretty, very pretty, but that wasn't anything but first initial thoughts.But this was Harry they were talking about. Harry. The boy who couldn't mutter a word. The boy he didn't know anything about. The boy who was obviously fragile. The boy who was a total anomaly in Louis' globe of acquaintances. But it was the boy he was taking to a gig and he was going to make it his aim to make sure he led the boy into a fun and welcoming experience that he'd want to occur again.He felt like he needed to prove himself to the boy. Prove he wasn't harmful and was in fact, just an outgoing, yet harmless, young man. He knew it would be a tricky task, hard to judge too as of Harry's lack of expression, but he was going to try his best, for him and for Harry.The rocky roar of his red Nissan Micra trundled up the street in search of the quaint little house of the Styles residence. His blue orbs scanned the rows of houses lining the small road, scoping out for the particular number "28". Louis' eyes flickered along the dimly lit houses, landing upon the brightened number presenting the designated house. He pulled his car up by the driveway, ceasing the heavily grumbling engine to a halt.Slumping back in the squeaky seat, Louis let his eyes travel the outside of the house. It was neatly presented, the garden preened enough not to look messy but not obsessively tampered with. The warm lights shone through the closed curtains, an indicator that there were people in the house. The welcoming and warm atmosphere of the outside only crashed nerves into Louis more. If Louis were to be rejected by the family, what would that say about him? It would not be anything positive, that was for sure.Setting those thoughts behind, Louis breathed in deeply and let it out slowly before pulling himself out of the car. He scuttled up the driveway, the thin soles of his feet padding softly against the tarmac. He perched upon the small step in front of the door and tentatively reached to press the doorbell. Hearing it 'ding', he stepped back awkwardly off the step, fidgeting once more with his hair to fix it in the window reflection. The opening of the door drew him from his restlessness. His eyes snapped towards the figure in the doorway, who smiled with nothing but kindness and gentleness. Anne's eyes lit up with the sight of the fashionably dressed up boy in front of her, more over the idea that he actually turned up. She had doubts that he'd even turn up. It was unlikely he would, after all. The act could've been out of common courtesy at the time and Louis may have regretted it grandly afterwards. However, he had arrived, and Anne was truly excited at the prospect of her son maybe gaining someone to care for him other than family."Louis! I'm so glad you came! Please, come in!" she said brightly, stepping sideways and letting Louis walk into the house. A gust of homely feel brushed over Louis as he strolled inside, a feeling he was yet to partake in as of late."Harry's still getting ready; do you want a cuppa or anything? Some wine?""If that's not any bother?" Louis asked cautiously."Of course not!" Anne said, leading Louis through to the kitchen. It wasn't an overly modern, nor overly old fashioned kitchen; it was just comfortable."Tea or wine?""Would it be cheeky to ask for a glass of red?" Louis winced jokily, biting on his bottom lip as if totally innocent."Not at all! It's nice to have someone to share a bottle with, nobody else round here is a fan of it!" Anne smiled brightly. Pulling out an opened bottle, Anne reached for two large shining glasses and placed them down on the counter. Glugging the dark red substance into the glass, she handed one over to Louis.Taking a hesitant sip, Louis' nerve-drenched muscles sagged with relaxation as the strong flavour washed down his throat and settled in his stomach nicely. "Ahh that's good," he sighed happily."I know right? Robin, Harry's step-dad, got it for me when he was in France on a business trip. I'll let you know, I only use it on special occasions," she winked playfully.Louis choked on the mouthful of red at her words, his hand slipping up to cover his mouth to hide not only his dribbling mouth but the harsh blush dusting over his cheeks."I was only joking!" Anne laughed. "You need to loosen up, Louis!""Sorry," he said sheepishly, a chuckle hidden behind his meekness."But, I do only give this wine to important people. It's my best, so why not only share to with the best, ayy?" She nudged Louis' shirted shoulder, her wine sloshing in her glass."You really shouldn't be giving it to me then, Anne, I don't deserve this type of treatment, really," Louis, kind of, confessed."Nonsense! You of all people deserve it the most!" She argued with a bemused smile."I really don't see how...We don't really know each other; I could be a mass murder for all you know.""But you aren't though. And that's the point; we don't know each other but you're making an effort to, and that's what counts. You're making an effort to get to know Harry, and that's why you deserve my finest of wines. You're trying with him, unlike everybody else; you're actually giving him a chance."Louis was momentarily floored. What was he supposed to say to that? He had had no idea how much it meant to Anne that he was taking her son out to a gig; he had had no idea that the hope in her eyes was channelled by his need to please.Thankfully, the bustle by the kitchen door brought him from the situation in hand, the presence of the boy in question floating limply in the background. Two sets of eyes lay upon the lingering boy, scoping out his presence and attire. Harry's head was downcast and his eyes were, evidently, trained upon the floor; however, it was hard to tell by the mass of curls hanging down over his young features. His stance was timid, his shoulders slumped over, his hands delving into his pockets and his feet awkwardly pointing inwards.Louis' eyes trailed from the bottom up, viewing his white converse on his feet, his tan chinos hanging low on his waist but supported - or maybe it was just as an accessory, Louis wondered - with a striped leather belt, his dark blue polo shirt which accentuated his extremely long torso and which had the collar upturned stylishly, and finally the light blue blazer thrown over the top. Louis had to gulp thickly at the sight. Not normally would Louis be a fan of the rather posh type inspired outfits, especially blazers of which some people looked too stuck up in, but seeing Harry in his attire changed his opinion vastly. Okay, so maybe it was just in Harry's case and other people in blazers might be annoying too, but Harry sure looked dashing. Of course he looked hot, there was no doubt about it in Louis' mind that he looked extra fit - especially that long torso -, but it also looked sweet and cute. Harry was obviously unsure on his outfit by his constant shifting between feet and straightening out of the creases on his trousers, but Louis couldn't have picked anything better."Oh Harry, you look gorgeous!" Anne bashed, placing her wine on the counter and shuffling over to Harry to embrace him in a, albeit non-returned, hug. As she pulled back, Louis noticed the heavy blinking that Harry motioned, the only sign of emotion on his face. It was a mixture of confused, wary, and questioning blinking which forced Louis' mouth to speak without a second thought."You look great, Harry," styling out his immediate shocked face which graced his features, he let out that infamous grin and bared his shiny pearls.Harry's eyes shot over to Louis, drinking in his outfit but not once flittering to meet Louis' blues. Louis felt somewhat uncomfortable under Harry's scrutiny, especially with the constant blank expression on Harry's face which showed no approval whatsoever, but he soon got over it as Anne started shuffling around the room in a hurry."Oh look at the time! You two better get going! Quick, you don't want to miss them!" She blustered, pushing the boys from the kitchen and into the hallway."It's alright, Anne. They should be on at about 9 o'clock-ish and it's only- Oh shit," Louis stammered. "We really should go. We'll be back around half ten, okay?""Yes, yes! It's fine, you two have a brill time, alright?" She pulled Harry in for a long hug, still undeterred by the lack of response, breathing him in as if hesitant to let him go. "Have you got your phones? Louis, you have my number so call me if you need me. Seriously, call me if you need anything at all.""Sure, but it'll be fine, Anne. I'll look after him," Louis smiled sincerely. Anne smiled back in thanks, sending the two out into the crisp night air.The car ride wasn't awkward as such. It was just...quiet. The only sound was the rumble of the engine and the murmur of the radio, and sometimes Louis' voice which spoke at random times. He greeted Harry with a 'hello' and a 'how are you?' as normal, only receiving a blank look which was hidden by the awkward fidgeting the lad was doing in the seat. Louis commented on the passing places as they drove, just to fill in the almost silence. He prepped Harry up with information about the gig, the normal lowdown and expectations of it. He chose to ignore the way Harry flinched and sunk down in the seat when Louis mentioned the tight crowd that'd be there, unaware of the reasoning behind it. They slipped into the venue easily, the thumping of the bass vibrating through the walls as they walked in. Harry's wide green eyes searched the building as they walked up the stairs to their destination, inquisitive and curious. The support band had clearly just ended as they walked into the area when the wall of cheers blew through the air. Louis instantly smiled, loving the atmosphere of being at a gig. He strolled on in front of Harry, sideling up to the bar before taking notice of the boy who was hovering by the entrance.Harry looked so small stood there, so fragile and scared. His arms were wrapped protectively around his body, and his top teeth clawed over his bottom lip. His eyes danced hurriedly over his surroundings, somewhat­ anxious."Harry," Louis called over the noise. He was thankful that the noise travelled over to the boy who turned to see him and scuttled over quickly."You alright?" Louis asked him as he hovered close by.Harry blinked tightly, followed by little flickers of his eyelids. His chin slowly lowered then raised in a nodding motion, a slow one however that seemed cautious and unconvincing."You want a drink?" Louis asked as the bartender started to walk over.After a moment of, what Louis thought it could've been, contemplation, Harry shook his head from side to side a little, a quiet action."Beer, mate," Louis ordered, glancing at Harry as to see his reaction to his order. He wanted to check that Harry didn't mind his alcoholic beverage, due to the fact Harry wasn't drinking with him, but all he saw was Harry staring absentmindedly into the crowd, his eyes hiding a strong emotion Louis couldn't put his finger on.As the clear cup filled with the amber liquid slid over to him, he passed over the correct amount and motioned for Harry to follow him. He slipped through to a spot in the middle of the crowd, in perfect view of the stage."So which song are you most looking forward to then, Harry?" Louis babbled. "I'm quite looking forward to Breakeven if I'm honest; that's always been a favourite of mine. Do you like that one? You must do, it's hard not to. It really pulls at the heart strings-"Thankfully, Louis' babbling was cut off by the dimming lights and the loud cheers sounding from the crowd. The band members strolled on stage, equipping themselves with their instruments and beginning to play the long awaited music.Songs rolled into more songs, along with equal chat from the band. The crowd was serene, bobbing along to the music and singing along, but not overpowering it. With a few songs of their own under their belt, The Script decided to embrace the crowd with a less calm song."We're going to switch it up here," Danny's Irish accent boomed from the stage. "Do any of you know a little song by The Black Eyed Peas, goes by the name of I Gotta Feeling?"The crowd screamed an answer, spurring knowing smiles from the band. The introductory beats chimed through the venue, the crowd jumping along and changing from the quietude to wildness.The crowd bounced around Harry, moving the air up and down, up and down. Voices shouted and screamed out the lyrics, blaring noises from blaring faces. The music clattered through the air in forceful clangs, killing any of the previous atmosphere that he could just about cope with.Panic seared through him.His chest started convulsing in heavy and laboured breaths. His throat started clamming up, a thick lump preventing easy breathing. The people surrounding him started blurring into one, the edges of their faces and features smoothing into a frizz. His eyes spun around the room in a frenzy, bouncing around for a safe face to aid his shock. All he saw was the blurred, bouncing brown head of hair from behind, no kind face to soothe him. The head which was slowly descending further into the crowd.His eyes shot tight closed. Hiding themselves from the dizzying sight. His arms wrapped tightly around himself in automatic reaction to protect himself. Someone's hot body bashed into him, the feel of their touch clinging onto Harry's sweaty skin through the material of his clothing.Keeping his eyes tight shut, Harry's arms flung around in an attempt to push away any nearing bodies. He felt his hands connect with skin, a rush of disgust spreading through him as he touched their dripping flesh, and he pushed it harshly away. His hands kept slapping upon bodies, nobody reacting to his desperate calls.His lips stayed pressed together.Louis felt a slap on his back but he ignored it nonetheless. He presumed it was some overexcited person who was most probably drunk; he himself had been in that situation before. However, the hit occurred once more in more of a reckless form, a slap from the back of a hand instead of the palm. Louis span around, expecting to see an off-his-face man smiling giddily, but the sight he saw was far from frivolous.Harry was thrashing around in almost pain, his expression tainted with panic over the usual blankness. Louis' eyes widened vastly, his eyes expressing his confusion of Harry's unusual actions; well, if they were usual to Harry, Louis wouldn't know, but they weren't usual to any other person anyway.Harry's hands kept lashing around wildly, hitting off Louis' body. Everyone else in the crowd seemed unaware of Harry's actions and kept with their dancing, but Louis' attention couldn't be drawn away from the younger boy in any way, shape, or form."Harry?" Louis said in a questioning tone. But Harry just continued with his movements, his head shaking from side to side harshly."Harry," Louis called over the surrounding sounds, but Harry couldn't hear. All he could hear was the rushing of his thoughts and the pounding of the band and crowd.Louis clamped Harry's wrists to stop the incessant movements. In reaction, Harry started to thrash around even more, his wrists being gripped even tighter by Louis, the skin becoming red and raw."Harry!" Louis kept shouting, but Harry didn't react at all; he was in his own terror world and Louis couldn't penetrate into it at all, even with his loudest shouting and shaking of Harry.When Harry's thrashing relaxed, Louis' body started to settle into relief, but that was soon washed from his as Harry started to shake violently when the crowd started cheering even louder. "Fuck," Louis muttered. He was utterly baffled; he had no idea what to do. Hell, he didn't even know what was happening. Harry looked majorly terrified and not in control of his bodily reactions at all."Harry, tell me what's happening," Louis demanded, releasing Harry's wrists and grasping his shoulders to try and shake him out of his trance. Harry's eyes stayed screwed shut, his face wincing.Looking around hastily for help, Louis saw nobody taking any notice whatsoever. Thinking on instinct, Louis turned Harry around and pushed him through the crowd as fast as he could, guiding the quivering body back to the bar where it was quieter. Harry's hands reached up into his hair and gripped at the curls, massaging his own head somewhat. Slowly, he sunk down to the dusty ground and curled himself into a ball, his shoulders baring the heavy shakes.As if a shot ran through his pocket, Louis remembered his phone. His fumbling hands trundled in his tight pockets, easing out his phone and nearly dropping it as it slipped from the confines. His fingers trembled as he dialled the needed number, shuddering as he brought the phone up to his ear."Hello?" She answered brightly."A-Anne, I-I don't know what's happening," the tremor in Louis' voice portrayed his bewilderment."Louis? Is that you?" Anne asked for confirmation."Y-yes it's me. I don't know what to do, Anne. I'm so sorry.""What's happened? Tell me what's happened, Louis!" Anne demanded, terror in her voice."I don't know! He just started shaking and thrashing and he won't open his eyes and he's curled up on the floor and I just don't know what's happening!" Louis blurted out."Oh Lord..." Anne muttered, "I-I didn't think this would happen again. I thought it was just a young, one off thing, I thought he'd have gotten over it-""What's wrong with him, Anne?" Louis interrupted lowly."He's having a panic attack. He had one when he was younger and I just thought it was because he was a child but obviously it isn't. I shouldn't have let him go, I knew I shouldn't have but I thought it'd be different," Anne babbled."Just tell me what to do Anne; I don't know what to do. I need to help him; I need to make it stop," Louis pleaded."Okay. Right. Take him outside to get him in the fresh air and away from the noise, sit him on the ground or a bench or something. Hopefully the air will help him enough to calm him, but if it doesn't, then comfort him. I'll be there as soon as I can, just stay there and don't leave," Anne ordered, before ending the call, leaving Louis to cope alone.Taking in a deep breath to calm himself, Louis crouched down in front of Harry. "Harry, I'm going to take you outside, okay? Just walk with me, that's all you have to do," Louis hoped he didn't sound as nervous as he felt on the inside; he didn't know how to act with the breaking boy. Hesitantly, Louis reached over to Harry's arms and pulled him up, guiding the stumbling boy out the building.The cold air clashed with their overheated bodies as they stepped outside, Harry's shivering advancing with the cold temperature."We're just going to go sit over on the bench, alright?" Louis said, not getting any notion from Harry that he'd heard but carrying on with the action nonetheless.He guided Harry over to the bench, lowering him down slowly. Harry pulled his legs up to his chest and rocked back and forth, breathing deeply, but his shakes never ceasing. Louis fidgeted by his side, not knowing what to do as the time passed by but the attack never calmed. Harry's fingers wound in his own curls whilst his palms covered his ears.As the familiar silver car that was on the Styles' drive pulled up, Harry's head shot up and his eyes flung open. His chest started heaving up and down again and his breath made a hoarse sound as he took strained breaths."Shit," Louis muttered. Seeing Anne struggling to find somewhere to park, Louis glanced at the boy with awkwardness. What could he do?Without thinking, he reached over and threaded his fingers through Harry's curls as Harry did to calm himself before. The reaction he got, however, was not the reaction he wanted. Harry's body toppled over off of the bench and, as he did that time in Louis' piano room, he shuffled as far away from Louis as possible. His eyes were wide and frightened, as if Louis was a total stranger.Anne ran over, crouching by Harry and soothing him as best she could. As Louis watched, Anne's motherly power calmed Harry a lot, but not enough for it to kill the panic laced through his features."Come on son, let's get you home," Anne said sympathetically, helping Harry up and cradling him over the road, ignoring Louis' presence.As she set Harry in the car, pressing a kiss on his forehead before shutting the door, Louis called over the road to her: "Will he be okay?"Anne's head snapped around to Louis, seemingly remembering that he was there. "He'll be okay.""Are you sure?""Positive. It'll just take him a while to get over, but it won't kill him.""I'm so sorry, Anne, I really am," Louis said sincerely. Anne only nodded and smiled sadly before climbing into the car and driving away, leaving Louis alone with his guilt drenched heart.