Chapter 8

We got back to Cody's and he dragged me to his bedroom. I watched as he locked the door behind him. I didn't know what to do. Do I sit? Do I stand? Where do I sit? Where do I stand? Do I speak? Do I wait for him? He still had his back to me. Trying to calm himself down.

"Do you even realize what you did tonight?" He spoke quietly and calmly but didn't turn around. "I didn't plan it. I promise." "You put yourself in so much danger." "I'm sorry." "Don't apologize to me! Apologize to yourself!" He turned and started shouting at me.

"He said he wasn't going to hurt me." "He's not going to say he wanted another feel of you is he?!" "Stop shouting." I whispered. "You're so fucking stupid!" "Cody!" "You are! You put yourself in so much danger. You passed out a week ago because you were frightened of him and then today you go to see him? In the darkness with a loud, distracting party going on just feet away."

"How did you even know I was going to see him?" "So you did plan this?" "No." "I saw his name on your phone. I added it up." "So you did look?" "I saved you! All you care about is me looking at a stupid caller ID?!" "You think you're some kind of superhero, but you're not!" "I promised to protect you!" I felt like breaking down. He called me stupid. That hurt.

"Leave me alone. Don't talk to me. I was beginning to trust you again, you know that?" "So I keep you safe and some how I'm the bad guy?" "Thanks for telling Matt about my lyric book. Thanks for everything." I sighed and went towards the door.

"I'm not done." He roughly grabbed me and pushed me with force. I hit my back and head against the wall. Cody stopped and stared at me. "Are you okay?" He whispered in shock. My eyes quickly formed a glossy layer. "You've done enough." I tried to get out again.

"You don't help yourself, Lauren." "What's that supposed to mean?" "You're about to leave here and walk home alone. There's disgusting people in this world. You're unbelievably beautiful and unbelievably defenceless. Any guy could have you if they wanted you that badly." He had a harsh tone to his voice.

"Sorry for being pretty." "Don't apologize to me." "What do you want me to do? I don't understand what you want from me?!" "You need to realize what you did tonight!" "I know! I get it!" There was a knock on the door. "Stop shouting!" Angie scolded through the door. I opened it and walked past her.

"I've never been more disappointed in you." He watched me walk away. Tears flowed as I left the house. "Lauren, wait!" I heard Brad's voice. I went running to him and fell into his arms. "He hates me. I love him so much!" I cried. "He loves you more than anything in the world. This is his way of protecting you." He assured.

"I'm so sorry." I felt my knees become weak. I was depending on Brad to stay upright. "You don't need to be sorry." "I woke you up." "Cody woke me up." "He was shouting at me." "Let me take you home." He unlocked his car. "I don't want to." I refused.

"I don't know what happened between you and Cody tonight but you need to go home." "It wasn't Cody." "Who was it then?" "Josh. I went to meet Josh." "What?!" He choked on his words. Not believing what I had just said. "Dad, go back to bed." I heard Cody's voice. "I'm taking Lauren home." "No." "Cody, go inside." "She's my problem. Not yours."

"Charming!" I turned to look at him. He sent me a death stare and then looked back at Brad. "I'm dealing with it." He said. "Cod-" "Dad!" "Don't raise your voice at me!" "Go inside!" "You're my son, I tell you what to do and not the other way around!" "Not ton-" "What's going on?" Tom came outside.

"Why is everyone shouting?" "Dad will take you to bed, mate." Cody said. Brad sighed and walked past Cody. I stood by the passengers door of Cody's car and waited for him to unlock it. He did so and I got in.

"Lauren.." Cody whispered softly. I flicked my eyes open and looked at him. I'd fallen asleep. "Where are we?" I looked around. "Coming to find out?" He offered. "You don't know?" He shook his head. "Let's to exploring." He smiled and got out. I followed him. Attached to his side as I checked out my surroundings.

"Give me your hand." Cody instructed. I did so and he started walking. I thought he was mad at me? What's going on? "You want a Starbucks? Hot chocolate?" He asked. I nodded my head. Cody lead me into the cafe. After we got our take away beverages we began walking again.

I didn't say much and neither did Cody. When Cody did speak, I didn't answer. "Are you afraid of me?" He asked as he pulled us into a woodland area. I froze and looked up at the trees. "It's safe. I'm here." He assured me and tugged on my hand gently. I involuntarily followed him.

"Are you?" He nudged me. I looked at him and then away. "Have I scared you?" He changed the question. I waited to think of how to answer him without making him mad. "You've upset me." "I don't think you're stupid. I think what you did was stupid but I don't think you are. Tonight's actions were way beneath you."

"You're disappointed in me?" "I was scared." He admitted. "You were scared?" "I went to check out this party to make sure he wasn't there and then I saw you. Stood outside alone so I pulled up. I saw Josh's headlights flash and then you walked towards him. Accept it wasn't really you. It was like you were a ghost and you we're possessed. Staring ahead of you. And then he got out to talk to you. He took your hand and my heart started racing. I knew you weren't going to get out of that without a struggle. That's if you were going to get out of it. I got out of my car and came over. He lifted your chin. And then watched me approach."

"He's 18 and he's a body builder yet you floored him." I laughed a little. "Hey, I lift." He flexed his muscles. "Oh I know." I smirked. "You like my muscles, huh?" He matched my smirk. "They've proved to be very useful." "I do love you, missy." He pulled me into him and kissed my head.

"While we're on that subject, can I ask you a question?" "What? Love or sex?" "It's the same subject, isn't it?" "If you want." He mumbled under his breath. "Bad boy." I scolded. "There's a difference between having sex and making love. You know it, I know it, Jesus knows it." "Cody!" I giggled at him.

"How many people have you done 'it' with?" Cody laughed at my question. "Done it." He mocked. "How old are you?" "How many people?" I stopped walking. Cody stood in front of me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Only you, baby." He lowered his head and buried his face in my neck.

"Stop it." I pushed him away. "Look me in the eye and tell me that." I commanded. He couldn't do it. "And now tell me the real number?" "One." He avoided my eyes. "Pluss.." "You're asking for trouble, Lauren." "Before or after me?" "While I was with you." I rolled my eyes and started to walk away.

Cody caught my wrist and pulled me back. His famous grin was plastered on his face. "I'm just playing." "Wouldn't put it past you." I wasn't impressed. "Why have hoes when I can have you?" "How many, Cody?" "Too many to count." "Quit playing!" "Ooh, someone's mad." He laughed.

"I don't have to name them?" He asked. I sighed. "No." "Two people." "And me?" "Are you a person?" "Yes." "Well then." "So only one extra?" "Hey, you can do math!" He clapped for me. "You're not funny." "What's your number?" He followed as I retraced our steps.

"A secret." "I told you!" "You'll insist on me telling you who." "So there's more than just me?" He became very intrigued. "Not exactly." "It's pretty straight forward." "No it's not." "Did it go in or did it not?" I laughed at him. "You've always been the romantic type." I said sarcastically.

"You haven't had sex but you've done other things?" "I'm done with this subject." "Nooo. You have to tell me." "Nope." "I wanna know who's been touching my little baby." "I'm not yours, I'm not little and I'm not a baby." "Let's agree to disagree."

"Marcus?" He suggested. "I've known him for a week." "You told your dad you've done stupid things so I was putting two and two together." He shrugged. "Dad said that?" "Was he not supposed to?" "No." I ran my fingers through my hair. "We worry about you." "There's no need." "What are the stupid things then?"

I sat down on a bench near the opening of the forest walk. "I've lost control." "How?" "Many ways." "Like?" "Partying.. Alcohol.. Boys.. My razor.." I looked away. "And now I'm stuck. I need help out of this mess." "Take my hand and let me help you." "It keeps going wrong whenever I do." "That's because you need to trust me fully."

"Let me guess, you rely on alcohol to have a good time?" "Mhmm." I nodded. "Parties are your way of being happy?" "Yup." "Your razor is your escape?" "Yeh." "And you've let your guard down around boys." "I-" "The wrong boys." He corrected himself. "Yes."

"What have you done?" "I don't want to speak about it. I feel disgusted with myself when I think about it." "I have to say, I'm with you on that." "What do you mean?" "Tried to get over you by being with another girl." My stomach dropped hearing him say that. But at least he was being honest.

"Didn't work. It made me want you more. The longer I laid with her, staring at her bare skin. I just wanted you. Your baby-soft skin, long brown hair, gorgeous chocolate eyes, the way you smile at me when I wrap my arms around you, how you kiss my neck once we're comfortable, the way you rely on me, the way your body trusts mine, how our bodies fit perfectly together. She wasn't you. No matter how much I wanted her to be, she wasn't. Yeah it feels good but that's not what I like most when we're together in bed. We share closeness, we share love."

"I think you were right, you know? What you said at Trey's the other night. About us being made for each other. We just have to fight for each other. Someone up there is testing us." We both looked at the stars. "I bet it's Tom's old pet fish." Cody joked which made me giggle.

"We'll fight. Thick and thin, I'll be there. We'll do it together until you can look me in the eye and say you've forgiven me. Until you're ready to trust again. I'll wait." He announced. "Pinky promise?" "You need to grow up." He laughed and connected our pinkies. "I love you, Miller." "Yeah, yeah." I got up and started walking back to the car.