Chapter 2

"What was our one rule for tonight?" Paul dragged me towards his car. "You can't take me to a party and expect me to not drink! I'm 16, I'm not a baby." "I wasn't expecting you to be laid on a counter with your dress around your boobs with guys licking things off you." "Whatever." I got in the car.

"Cody changed you." He sighed and started the engine. "Excuse me?" "I don't think I'm in your way." "He doesn't effect me in any way." "He made you lose yourself and you still miss him. I know it. You act like some sort of slut but you're not that person. You've lost all respect for yourself." I scoffed at his statement.

"I don't miss him and I never did." "You can lie to everyone else but not me." "Sure." We sat in silence for a while. "You know, drunken confessions mean something, Lauren." "Well you're not going to get any from me." "I know what he means to you. I was there, I watched you fall harder and harder every day." He parked on the drive. "Good night." I got out and walked to the door.

When I got in I was able to get to my bedroom without anyone noticing as Mom and Dad were shouting and screaming at each other. They've been doing it a lot lately. It really affects us, especially Lilly. She sleeps in my bed pretty much every night now and she's worried that they will break up.

I listened to the two rip into each other for around ten minutes and then I'd had enough. I left the house and began walking around the streets. I felt myself being pulled to Cody's house like a magnet. I eventually gave in and walked down the driveway slowly before knocking on the door and sitting on the doorstep.

The door opened and then Cody's body sat next to me. "Is Alli in?" "She's in New York, remember?" "Oh yeah." I sighed and then got up and began to walk away. "Where are you going?" Cody came after me.

"Haven't worked that out yet." "You're not walking around alone at night." "I got here didn't I?" "I won't let you walk around alone." "Watch me." "Lauren, you know what happened last time." He caught my wrist. "I caught you cheating on me?" "Before that." He shook his head. "I don't want to be reminded of that." "Come inside then." He pulled on my hand gently.

I walked into the house and went to his room before falling onto the bed. Cody came up after a few minutes with a glass of water and a sandwich on a plate. "Here." He handed it to me. "I'm not hung-" "Eat it." He said and sat on the bed. He watched me eat and drink. After I finished I put them on the side and we sat in silence for a few minutes.

"I need you." I finally confessed. "What?" "I need you. We need you. Lilly and I, we're struggling and we need you to come save us." "Why haven't you told me before?" "I don't wanna seem weak." I fought back tears. "I've lost control, Cody. I need you to save me. I don't get much sleep anymore, Lilly sleeps in my bed with me. I just lie there and watch her for hours because I can't do it. I have nothing left. You took everything when you left."

"You made me go, I wanted you so bad but you made me walk away." "You kissed someone else. I didn't want it to end like that. I didn't want it to end but you left me no choice. I need you so bad." "I'm sorry." "Where were you those nights? When I needed someone to hold me and tell me it was going to be okay. Where were you?" "I wish I could of been there." I got up and sat on his lap.

"Mom and Dad are arguing again. It's like every bit of my world is falling apart, piece after piece after piece. I don't know what to do. I can't handle it." "You can't let it stress you out." "That's easier said than done. I'm so stressed. I need someone to take it all away.." I looked into his eyes.

I leant in and pressed my lips against his. Cody kissed back and held me close to him tightly before pushing me off his lap. "No. We can't do this. This can't happen, Lauren." He paced up and down. I sat on his desk. "It can happen." I swung my legs. He came over and stood in front of me. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him close.

"I'm not going to take advantage of you. You're clearly drunk and that's not the type of guy I am." He said. I lifted his shirt him and threw it away. "You could be that guy tonight." I planted wet kisses on his chest. "I'm not having sex with you." Cody refused. He unwrapped my legs and stepped back.

"You're not taking advantage if I'm giving you the advantage." I got up. "Stop it, Lauren." "Fine." I headed for the door. Cody stopped me. "Where do you think you're going?" "I'm not staying here if you're not having sex with me." "You're not leaving this house." "Stop me." I opened the door.

Cody picked me up and threw me on the bed. "You're going no where." He said. "Grrr." I teased. "Is Mr Simpson getting mad at me?" I played. "I'm not mad." I crawled over to him. "I think you're mad." I walked my fingers up his chest and ran them along his jawline. "You need to go to bed. You're going to regret this in the morning." "Well we won't know until we do it."

"I'm not having sex with you!" "I like mad. Mad's sexy." I smirked. "I'm going to the bathroom. You better not have left when I get back." He said and walked away. I sighed and got under the blankets. It fell silent for a few minutes. "Lauren, you're not sleeping in my bed." I ignored him. "I know you're awake." Still nothing. "Alright then."

He lifted me up and carried me into Alli's room before dropping me on the bed and walking out again. I laughed to myself and got under the blankets. After a while of tossing and turning the door creeked open. "Cody?" I whispered. Buddy jumped up on the bed. "Oh, hey." I smiled as he settled down next to me.

We laid motionless for a few moments and then the door opened again. I stayed silent this time. I knew it was Cody. I felt the bed behind me dip down. The weight got closer and closer and then his arm wrapped around me. I rolled over and buried my face into his chest.

In the morning Cody was gone. I groaned to myself and then got up. I borrowed some of Alli's clothes and got ready before going downstairs. Cody was in the kitchen. "Hey." He smiled, I smiled back. "How are you feeling?" "Sober." I rubbed my forehead. "I'll get you some pain killers." He said and looked in the cupboard.

"Thanks." I took them with some water. "I made you a tea." He passed me a mug. I smiled and took a sip. "Do you remember any of last night?" He asked. I watched as he hid his smirk behind his mug. "Don't remind me." I laughed. "Drink up and I'll take you home." "Oh yay." I applauded sarcastically.

"It'll be okay." He assured me. "Alright, let's go." I poured my drink in the sink and went outside. Cody followed. We got into the car and he drove us to mine. "Thank you." I looked at him. "Anytime." "Not for the lift but thank you for what you did last night." "I have masses of respect for you." He stared at the steering wheel. I smiled and got out of the car. Cody waited until I had opened the door before driving away.

"Where have you been?!" I was greeted by an angry mother. "Calm down." I rolled my eyes. "Are you going to tell me where?" "I was safe and that's all that matters." "Who were you with?" "It's not important." I rolled my eyes and went into the kitchen where everyone was waiting.

"Where were you? Dad and I were looking for ages." "You didn't do a very good job." I laughed. "Lauren Miller! Do you think this is a joke?" Mom was hella mad. "I was with Cody!" I shouted. "I went to see if Alli was there but Cody reminded me of where she was but then wouldn't let me leave because I'd been at a party and he thought I was drunk."

"That's a very irresponsible thing to do and not to tell anyone makes it worse." "You know what, Mom? How was I supposed to tell you guys where I was going when you were too busy shouting at each other? Do you realize how much it effects me? Not only me but my little sister. Your seven-year-old daughter. It breaks her heart to listen to you shouting at each other practically every night. She sleeps in my bed because of it and she's terrified that you're going to get a divorce. That's not fair on her. So don't shout at me for leaving for the night. I was safe and in good hands. Before you blame me for getting away, ask yourselves why." I dismissed and went to my bedroom.

Lilly came in after a few minutes. I sat on the floor and she sat in my lap. "You were with Cody?" She asked. "Mhm." "Why?" "I love him." "You do?!" She became happy. "I do but we can't tell anyone about that. It's our secret to have between you and I." "Does Cody know?" "He doesn't need to know." "You used to tell him all the time." "I know I did."

"Hey.." Cara came into the room. "Lil, can you give us a few minutes?" "Yeah." She got off my lap and kissed my cheek before walking out. "Here." Cara held her hand out. I took it and she helped me to my feet.

"What's going on?" She tucked my hair behind my ear. I shook my head and held back tears. "You wanna go get some coffee?" She offered. I nodded. We went to starbucks. We sat down with our coffees and she waited for me to speak.

"I went to see him last night. I was stressed and feeling vulnerable. I wanted one thing and we both know what that is." "You guys had sex?" "No." I shook my head. "He's too much of a gentleman." I rolled my eyes which made Cara laugh. "That's a good thing though." "How?" "You would of regretted it so much after." "I would of woken up feeling satisfied but instead I woke up feeling embarrassed." I sighed.

"You guys will find your way back to each other in the end. If it's meant to be." "I told him I missed him." I watched as I swirled my coffee in my mug. "Did it feel good to get it off your chest?" "I want him." "Did you tell him that?" "I need him." I carried on. "Does he know that?" "It's just not fair." I sighed.

"Tell him how you feel. All of it, not just the little bits. Tell him everything and don't hold back. Let it flow and I swear he'll appreciate it." "I'll try. I'm babysitting Tommo and Lilly with him on Wednesday so I'll try then." "Do and say what makes you comfortable and make sure you don't force it." She instructed. I forced a smile.

"It's gonna get better. I promise." "It's been two months and nothing's changed." I said. "I promise you that this is going to get better. If it doesn't then it's not over." "I hope so." "So how's rehearsals for the award show going?" She changed the subject.

"Nick, Matt and the dancers think we're ready but I'm not feeling it. I think we need a little more practice." I said truthfully. "You've been practicing for ages!" "I know but it takes a lot. We had to choreograph and do all kinds and then we had to make sure we knew it. I'm just very cautious of messing up." "You did a whole tour but you're worried about this?" "I open the show!" I looked at her with wide eyes.