☣Healing ☣

Taehyung pov

She bursted out everything, but what hurt me the most,was that she believed that everything was fake, how__how can she think that my love for her was fake, she is the one I fell in love with, I loved her whole heartedly! I can't take this, I can handle her hate but not that she thinks my love for her was just an act. No she needs to know that, this 3 months was not easy for me too, I was dying to be with her.

I ran behind, she was so close to shut the door on my face but I held her wrist tightly! She was struggling to get out of my grip, she was in the urge of crying,

You: let me go, what is it left??? Go away.

I'll not, not until I tell you that my love for you was not fake,

You: Huh! You want me to believe that!

You need to y/n! I know letting you go was stupid of me. But trust me that wasn't easy for me though! I was dying each day! I wanted to run back to you,

You: But you didn't, you let me suffer! You let me go through hell! I deserved a better good bye.

I wasn't in the situation, to come back princess. I couldn't, I wanted everyone who would hurt us to be destroyed. I wanted our future to be secured!

You: You just threw me away to secure our future, are you even listening to yourself? Are you even getting any logic?

I know that was stupid of me, but trust me princess, if I had any other choice, I would never let you go. You know me!

You: At this point, I don't know what are you, your just a mystery for me.

I took her both hands and kneeled down before her, I wanted to let her know that she is special, there's no one in this entire world as important as her.

I know I messed up, but just give me a second chance, you have every right to be mad on me, every right to hold a grudge. I'll not expect you to forget what happened, but just know I didn't fake anything. For a while I was happy just because I had you. You made me complete, but now that your not with me I feel lost, I feel incomplete. I'm stuck in this darkness. But I can't blame you, you were always so sweet. You made me feel million of things, which I never thought I could feel for someone. Its okay for you to be angry, it's okay for you to be sad. I'm sorry I messed up, I let you go. I hope we can make it up, because I can't live without you, I want you so badly, I want you to be mine, I want you to be my everything. Please give me a chance.

She didn't say anything, she just looked at me, she was holding her tears back, whereas my tears were rolling down. I couldn't believe that I'm crying in front of her. But at this point I didn't care, I wanted her back. That's it! She kneeled down and wiped my tears.

Your pov

Looking him cry was new for me, my heart was clenching looking at his state. Why does it hurt so much to see him like this, didn't I wanted him to feel what I felt, but why can't I stand him crying. Why is it hard for me to see him kneeled down like this, why is it hard???

I kneeled down and wiped his tears, I was looking at his eyes, it was red from crying. I wanted to hug him tight and end everything. But I couldn't,

It's late, you should go.

He shook his head in a no. He was looking like a kid right now. I was internally cooing at his cuteness.

Tae: Not until you forgive me.

Just go! It's pretty late and everyone must be waiting for you.

Tae: If your worried about me then why don't you come with me! Please

Just go,

Tae: Princess, please just understand this, "I know nothing else then loving you, i don't know how or when this ensuing madness that followed but there is something about you so deeply engrained underneath my heart, the very thought of you makes me complete"

He pulled me to a hug, I tried pushing him away, but his warmth was something I was craving for. I wanted him so badly, the tears I was holding back for so long flowed like a river, I was sobbing so badly, but it wasn't only me I would feel he was also crying with me.

We stayed like that, I missed him, I missed his touch, his scent, his warmth. We pulled away and then he spoke,

Tae: I don't want to loose you.

His voice was almost like a whisper, seeing his haggard expression. He took my hands and squeezed it, i could feel the tears again, and I fought them back.

I don't know what to do, just give me sometime!

For that he didn't respond, but then held my face in between his palm and spoke,

Tae: I can give you as much time as you want. But make sure, your every decision takes you to me.

I didn't know what to react, I just nodded and got up. He did the same, I didn't say anything further, I locked the doors and I could hear his footsteps fade.

Next morning

I was in the way to my office, I was confused as in what to do? What am I going to tell him, what am I going to tell the other's? Am I forgiving them? Am I being lenient? I was so stressed, everything is going to drive me crazy.

Idk about forgiving them, but I just want to heal from everything. And healing doesn't mean the damage never existed! It means the damage no longer control your life. I was not happy before they entered my life, but after that everything changed, I didn't fake happiness, I was not forced to be apart of something which was not meant for me. But after they left me, I was again unhappy, I was been a burden. And this is something I don't want to be. I want to be happy and I know my happiness is with them. But I can't forgive them too, what am I going to do??

I was in my thoughts that I didn't realize coco was standing in front of me with puzzled expression!

Coco: Earth to y/n?? Where are you lost?

Hmm,, coco__ I __ I didn't see you coming? What is it?

Coco: I should be asking that? Where are you lost ? These days you look lost what's bothering you?

Nothing, it's just__

Coco: Y/n don't lie to me, it's evident something is bothering spit it out, don't make everything messed up again!

She spoke in a irritated tone! I sighed and decided to tell her.

So, I met BTS

She chocked on air,

Coco: You what?

Hmm, I met them?

Coco: When? Where? How? Omg I need to tell Dad

No, coco don't tell Mr. Park!

Coco: why? When did you meet them?

A week ago I guess!

Coco:And your telling me now, why can't you get it y/n they are dangerous for you.

They are not, they just wanted to talk to me.

Coco: Exactly how dumb are you? Can't you learn lesson for once? They fucking used you and still you want to defend them.

It's not like that coco, they told me the reason why did they let me go.

Coco: And you believed them, y/n what is it that you can't get them out your mind, didn't you had enough being pathetic once, do you want to make a fool out of yourself again.

No! It's not the same, they apologized and they want me back.

Coco: You agreed?? Come on y/n! how desperate are you to go to them!

Excuse me, desperate? Desperate for what?

Coco: Desperate to get into their pants, desperate to be used by them. What was his name SAE_HYUNG no Taehyung! Yeah Taehyung , he needs you back because you might be a easy target for him to fuck! Easy for him to manipulate, you and your fucking needy hormone, why do you want them when you can get some one here, look around you'll get more boys. You don't need to fuck them and make yourself a burden for me and Dad. I even tried to hook you up with that minjae, why can't you just deal with him.

*slap*I slapped her with all my strength, she stumbled back. How can she think of me this cheap. How can she, do I look like a prostitute for her? I felt like crying, but no I'm not going to waste my tears on her.

Coco: You fucking slapped me, how dare you, you worthless bitch.

She was about to slap me but I grabbed her hands and slapped her again.

Coco: You don't want to hear the truth, you fucking thankless bitch I and my father helped you countless times. And still you want to end up with that bastards who want to hurt my dad! You fucking desperate hoe..

Desperate?? Can you just stop. How can you think so low about me. You call yourself my best friend and you fucking think trash about me. You think I'm desperate to get into their pants. What do you know about them huh what do you think of me,? You fucking have no idea about how much I went through because of you. I'm not complaining though but put me in your place coco, you wouldn't be able to recover that. Don't forget all this wouldn't be started if I wasn't kidnapped in your place. I'm grateful for everything you did for me. But never forget I was in that shit because of you. But I'm not even surprised, you were always trying to make yourself superior but I didn't tell anything I let it be, but that's enough, not when you fucking point out on my character. I'm not listening to your shit on that.

And your blaming them so much to the extent where your defending your father, whom you hated for whatever reason. But did you ask your father why do they hate him so much, why did they wanted to hurt you, and when they knew they hurt a wrong person why did they shower so much love on me? You know nothing about them you know nothing about me either. I don't know why your being a bitch right now. But listen to me carefully coco, I'm not the same person I was once, a lot has changed, a lot had to change. So you shouldn't expect out of me what I embodied in the past. For that part of me doesn't exist.

Coco: Y/n??

I'm not done coco, I'm fed up of everything, you taunting me loving a wrong person. Which is basically my choice you are no one to tell me that I was wrong. Yes I made a mistake, I didn't let you know. But what could I do, how am I supposed to control my feelings? I was broken coco, I was completely broken but what you did was nothing you taunted me in every step. You made me feel guilty for loving someone. Didn't we all broke our rules for someone, for me that someone was him. And then suddenly he became my everything, they became my family. And I felt happy after so many days, and their company made me happy and only they made sense at that time. I wanted them at that moment. It wasn't sexually, I didn't fucking sleep with anyone of them. It was pure, it was so much more than sex it was love coco, it was their presence which made me want them more. I wanted to be with them because they made me feel my worth.

Coco: Y/n I spoke over board, I'm sorry I was just!

Don't, I'm sick of you. I can't deal with you anymore. I'm leaving this job. I'll deal with my life from now on.

Coco: You can't!

I went through some of the hardest situation in my life, so don't you dare tell me I can't do it on my own.

With that I grabbed my bag and left that place. Coco was yelling to come back, but I was so done with her. I can't stay with her when her thoughts about me is that cheap. No matter what situation your in, be brave enough to choose yourself.

I felt like a weight from my heart was lifted off! I was feeling light, I felt ease, I didn't want to encounter her again, I don't want to be with her anymore. I want to lead my life as I want. I quickly called Minho and explained him everything. I wanted to change my apartment, I want to do it quick. I don't want to sit back and think that I was wrong. I want to do as quickly as possible so that I don't change my mind.

Minho was kind enough to let me stay in his place, he told me that he has someone who deal with rented apartment, and they may help us find one in low budget. He even told me to stay with him, but no I don't want to be a burden for him. So, I assured him that I'll be fine with a new apartment. So now I'm laying in the bed in Minho's apartment. We are waiting for his friend to call.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is not to think, not to wonder, not to get obsessed, not to imagine. Just breath and have faith that everything is gonna be all right. I know I'll be okay, and that eventually everything will work out. I know what's meant for me will happen. I know... But i just need a minute or more to pull myself together. Because sometimes the shit life throws at me gets heavy that's it.

With that Minho informed that we can leave now. I quickly got ready, I was still in my same outfit from morning. And it was now around 2 in the afternoon. We went a looked couple of apartment. And then we finalized a small cozy apartment near a local street it was a decent environment to live. I decided to move in tomorrow. I could move in today, but I had lot of things there, it would take days. So we decided that we would move in tomorrow.