19. Back Into Rhythm

"Told you you freaked for nothin'," Amanda says casually.

"Well how was I supposed to know the Larssons were moving in above us?"

"Pay attention to the vacant signs disappearing?"

I roll my eyes.

"Whatever."

"Okay, Ellie."

*Ellie's POV*

First day of 10th grade. And I'm really not prepared.

For medical, emotional, and physiological reasons - apparently - me and Ashley have as many classes together as possible. She doesn't take honors math, but I do. And because there's no regular and honors math classes that fit with both our schedules, while she's in history, I'll be learning algebra 2 and vice versa.

That's alright I guess.

I roll out of bed and take a shower. I throw on a pair of shorts and a tank top, then dry my hair. Ashley is knocking at the door before I'm even done.

She enters anyways because she's had a key since we were like 8.

"Hey," she says, "do you have that shirt with the tribal skull on it? I can't find anything to wear."

"Shocker. Yeah. In my dresser.

I run the brush through my hair one more time before following her out.

"Hey, you still have my acid washed shorts?"

"Probably."

"Can I have them back?" I ask.

"The shirt goes better with the shorts you're wearing."

"Fine, I'll raid your closet later. Hungry?"

"Nah," she says.

I nod and grab my bag, letting her follow me out.

I quickly brush my teeth and wait for Ashley to get what she forgot from her apartment. Then we head to school, parting to get schoolbooks. This is one of the few times I'll be alone at school: when I go to my locker in the morning.

I turn the dial right, left, right, and the metal contraption swings open. All my extra school supplies are in there, along with pictures taped up of me and my friends and family.

I just kind of stand and stare for a little while, realizing how much has changed in roughly 365 days. Last year, it was my first day of high school. Last year, I would grab my stuff, meet with Ashley and Jordyn by Homeroom. Last year, we would all leave together carelessly walking the streets, only separating when we had to walk to different places.

This year, I'll grab my stuff, find another meeting place for me and my friends, and Logan, for that matter. This year, we'll walk the streets cautiously and Jordyn will separate from the group when she turns to go home.

As much as I'm glad it's different, I feel a bit of longing for last year. Pre-gang raper time, of course.

School, actually, isn't as bad as I originally thought. My classes have teachers that, so far, don't make me want to shoot them. Ashley is in most of my classes and Jordyn is in history and lunch with me.

Hopefully this year goes by a lot more smoothly than last year did.

*Olivia's POV*

"Liv, jeez," I hear Nick say.

I slam my phone down on the desk again. My head goes in my hands next.

"Darlin', I'm sure she's fine," Amanda says.

"Like you'd know," I snap, getting up, storming to the hallway.

I pace, trying to sort out my emotions. Why am I so bent? Amanda should be the one out of whack. I mean, she sort of is, but she's just a little sensitive. Which means she's probably about to cry now and will get up to go get some ice cream or something.

Damn, I'm a bitch.

I take a breath and bend over, my hands on my knees.

"Honestly, Liv, she's handling this better than you are."

I stand back up. Nick's leaning against the wall.

"Tell Rollins I'm sorry. I need a minute, okay?"

"She's fine. Somehow she found your comment funny."

"They're called hormones."

"Same with you. Cool the estrogen, alright? And here. Someone's on the phone for you," he says. I take it and hold the phone to my ear without asking who it is.

"Someone's being overprotective again?" It's Elliot.

"I just don't want her to deal with those girls. And the teachers and principal and staff. They all know. The social worker knows. Ellie doesn't know they know and I maybe shouldn't have told the school. If, I-If they talk to her and she finds out, sh-she's gonna hate me!"

"Liv, calm down," he tells me.

I feel my eyes growing hot, not sure whether or not I'm internally cracking for no reason.

"She's my baby," is all I can say.

"And you're trying to protect her. Again."

"But-"

"Remember that one case we worked while at home Maureen was going to homecoming and I was all out of sorts?"

"That was 1999. What does it matter?"

"You're trying to protect your daughter and you can't."

Something tells me I said something like that to him. "Fine," I say. "You win."

"Just saying, Liv. She's doing just fine. She's got her friends and...Logan and you guys. It's not-"

"Leave Logan out."

"You know she won't. Just because she cares about someone else doesn't mean you aren't number one anymore."

"How do I let her go? And not worry about her?"

"You're always gonna worry about her. But you do have to relax a little. It's not like you're gonna lose her. She's gonna be around to annoy you for the rest of your life."

"It's still not that easy."

*Ellie's POV*

"It's still not that easy."

"Yeah, it is," I reply. "If it looks like you can't do anything, factor out the x." I point to the problem on the textbook.

"How can you tell, though?" Ashley asks.

"If it seems impossible."

"Getting deep there, El."

I laugh, leaning back, next to Logan, who's trying to work on Spanish.

"How do you say, 'How was your day?'" he asks.

"I took French?"

"Right."

I smirk and scribble down more math. I finish before Ashley and Jordyn, so I go over my rough draft for English. I hate English. "Nobody needs to go home anytime soon, correct?"

"Well I might but my mom hasn't called me yet," Jordyn says.

"My mom hasn't stomped on the floor yet," Ashley jokes.

"I'll leave when your mom kicks me out." We all laugh at that. My mom is still on the fence about Logan, even if she says she isn't. You can just tell.

"She won't be home for awhile. I think she's working a pedophile case."

"Fun," Ashley comments.

"Right?" I ask sarcastically.

It's about an hour later, and we're all just sitting and talking. Ashley stands up out of nowhere, though. She heads over to the kitchen.

"Don't you guys have any food in this house?"

"Define food," I reply.

"Jeez El. What do you live on?"

"Takeout."

"That doesn't sound so bad, actually."

"It isn't," I say.

"Let's go raid my pantry," Ashley suggests.

"I can get with that," Logan replies, perking up.

"Let's do it," Jordyn says, jumping up.

While rushing up the stairs, I text Mom, "at Ash's" so she doesn't freak out. Again.

"Dibs on the ice cream cone things," I announce, rushing to the freezer.

"Nobody really eats those anyways. Take them when you leave."

"Why did you buy them then?"

Ashley shrugs and goes to her fruit snacks. Jordyn gives her a look of disproval. "Really? Are you five?" she asks, about to dig in to her cookies.

"What?" Ashley defends. "They're the Scooby-Doo ones! Those are the best ones!"

"Again, I ask. Are you five?"

"And a half."

"Glad you girls eat so healthy," Logan says, choosing an apple.

"Fuck that," Ashley and Jordyn say at the same time. I just sit and nonchalantly eat my ice cream.

~3 months later~

"Hey!" I exclaim, throwing the paper was back at Jake, Logan's friend.

"You're the one who's sitting on the desk," he defends.

"You're the one being a douchebag," Ashley comments.

Everyone in our little group says, "oohhhhh..."

"Damn, Ash," I say. She's always been the more upfront one.

Everyone in class is just sitting around in groups, ignoring the fact we have a worksheet to do. It's a substitute teacher's assignment, though, so it's not like it counts.

"Anyone want to take the attendance down to the office?" the teacher asks.

A bunch of hands go up, including me. He picks me.

With a bounce in my step, I stand, accepting the slip of paper. My feet direct me to the office.

The halls are quiet, the only noise being my shoes and the occasional teacher talking in an open-doored classroom.

I open the door to the office and get right next to two people who, I'm guessing, are picking up their kid. But I don't look really acknowledge them. I just get up on my tip toes to reach over to the secretary.

"Mrs.Kendas. Room 214 attendance."

"Thank you," she says.

As I go to turn around, a hand lands on my shoulder. Now I really know I wasn't paying attention because when I turn back, I see Nick and Fin.

"What are you two doing here?"

"Trying to sign you out."

Forgetting to even ask why - because school sucks and getting out sounds good to me - I roll my eyes to the direction of the secretary. "What's the problem?"

"They aren't emergency contacts," she says simply.

"Yeah they are. The entire squad is my emergency contacts. Amanda Rollins signs me out usually. Isn't she still on there?"

"She probably got renewed as a contact. How long have they been-"

"Forever."

"Well since Amanda Rollins signs you out the most, she's probably renewed and these two aren't. I can't release you-"

"My god, you two," I breath out, turning back to Nick and Fin. I don't even care, I reach into their pockets and take their credentials. My fingers open the little flaps and show the secretary their cops and can do whatever the hell they want.

"Well, still, I should get your mother's consent to-"

"Her mother is with her other emergency contact whom is in labor," Nick says.