12. Birth-daze

"And you're 14! You should only being worrying about school and me!"

"Well that didn't exactly happen, did it?" she fires back. "What's your point?!"

"You need to cope in better ways than this!"

"Oh, so you'd rather me start drinking or doing drugs or starving myself? That's really nice, Mom." She forces herself up from the couch.

"What the hell, El?! Of course I don't want that!"

"Then what the hell are you yelling at me for?!"

Her language makes my blood boil. "Don't talk to me like that! You are going to see a-"

"I am not going to a shrink! I don't need one!"

"Because you seem totally in control of your emotions right now!"

Her eyes narrow. "What are you hiding from me?" she asks, her voice so much quieter.

"Hiding? What would I be hiding from you?"

"Well I just found out I'm a rape baby! How long did you plan on hiding that?! Or the fact you were raped in general? It wasn't some dumbass mistake you made!"

"Stop swearing at me!

"Then stop hiding things from me! If I can handle what happened to me I think I can handle whatever the hell else you think I can't!"

"What did I just say? And you can't handle it! You-"

"Alright, that's enough," I hear someone interrupt me. Elliot, obviously.

We both look up.

"You." He points at Ellie. "Sit."

She raises her eyebrows. "I'm not a dog."

It's my turn to raise my eyebrows. Nobody ever talks back to Elliot.

"Get off that foot. Now," he says. His voice is immediately cold and Ellie listens to him.

"You." He points at me. "Out."

Okay, I get Ellie's back talk now. "No," I say.

"Now."

"I've only known you for 20 years. That doesn't scare me," I tell him.

"Unless you want me to call Amanda to come get her, you listen."

"Please!" I hear Ellie yell. "Call Amanda!"

"El," me and Elliot both say.

She rolls her eyes and goes back to her math. Angrily, I go to my bedroom.

Elliot closes the door behind us.

"You know not to intentionally upset a victim," he says.

"She's my daughter!"

"And she's also a victim, like every other person who's been assaulted. You can't do that to her!"

"She won't listen to me! We were arguing, just like every other mother and daughter!" I retort.

"You have to give her time to sort things out in her head."

"So I just let her do whatever she wants?" I ask.

"She has a severely hurt ankle and is on crutches. She was just raped. You think she's gonna go out clubbing or something?"

He does have a point. I lean back on my heels, giving up.

"Give it a bit of time, then see what happens, alright?" Elliot requests, and I nod, letting him take me in his arms.

*Ellie's POV*

~One week later~

My birthday could have not come at a worse time. I don't feel like celebrating anything. Not even the fact this cast comes off next week. The only good thing is that all my visible injuries are gone. The huge cut on my shoulder is a pretty cool looking scar now, but other than that, nothing seems pretty cool.

I wake up on May 6th, not feeling ready for the day, yet again. It's a Saturday, though, so I don't have to face school.

I sit up and get dressed, brush my hair, brush my teeth.Just like every other day when I'm just sitting around the house, I go lie on my couch.

I flick through the channels, not even bothering to check my phone. I know Jordyn must have texted me but I don't care. She'll be over later, I'm guessing.

It's around 11 o'clock when Elliot walks in.

"Hey, happy birthday!" he says cheerily.

I smile and say, "Thanks," getting up. "Where's Mom?"

"She had a case. But she should be back in an hour or so."

"Okay," I say quietly.

Elliot looks over at me, and I know he can detect my below-the-average mood. He doesn't say anything, though.

"Hungry?" he asks.

"Not really."

*Olivia's POV*

I want to beat the absolute living shit out of these two.

And I'm not afraid to lose my job if I get the chance to do it.

Rollins and I stand by as Amaro and Fin throw the two perps in the holding cell.

"You okay?" I hear Rollins ask, but I don't register it being towards me. I just keep staring at the two black-clothed men that raped my daughter.

"Liv!"

I snap my head to the side and look over at my best friend. She lays her hand on my shoulder and looks directly at me. "Are you okay?" she asks again, slower and quieter.

"I'm fine," I lie.

About a half hour later, Elliot shows up for reasons unknown to me. Cragen probably called him to get me home so I don't rip someone's head off.

The perps are in interrogation rooms across the hall from each other. I stand in the middle and watch the interrogations at the same time. Both claim to never hurting anyone and it makes me more mad than I ever thought I could be.

Fin starts yelling at his perp and it gets my attention. Fin never raises his voice at perps but Ellie is his non-biological daughter.

"She was raped and beaten and cut! She's only 14 goddamn years old!"

He slams a picture they took of Ellie at the hospital down on the table. I can see the black eye from here.

"I don't know who that is," the perp says. "The hell is this, anyways?"

"This," Fin says, gesturing to the picture, "is a little girl who never hurt nobody. The only weapon she could possible have is the candy bars she just bought. She don't even come up to your chest in height."

"So? She was asking for it. Being out that late, shit. She should know better."

Elliot is ready to hold me back just like the other cop is for Fin. That perp would've been dead with blood on our hands if it wasn't for the blockades. Even if I know it's right of him, I turn around and fight Elliot's arms. My anger overpowers everything.

"Liv, calm down."

"That sick son of a bitch raped my daughter! I will not calm down until he's either in jail or dead!" I scream.

"He's going to jail until he's dead. And long after that. Calm down."

Fin is pushed out just in time to hear that. "I don't give a damn," he says.

I'm still in Elliot's arms so I let my head fall to his shoulder. He is helping as much as he isn't.

It's not much later when Nick is thrown out of his interrogation. We all go back to the squadroom defeated. These two will never confess.

"You okay?" I hear Elliot ask me. I nod and take a seat at my desk.

Cragen comes out into the room a little while later. He looks seriously frustrated. "Looks like Barba isn't on this case."

We all look up at him.

"Who's trying it now, then?" Fin asks.

"I honestly don't know."

We all wanted Barba on this case. He knows Ellie too, and that would've worked an advantage so well.

"Yeah? Well I do," we hear someone say. The squad looks up to see everyone's favorite redhead.

"Casey," I say, standing up. She walks toward me with a smile and leans in for a hug. Which I gladly return.

Everyone reconnects with smiles and happy thoughts, but we all know we have to talk seriously.

"Okay, so what are we dealing with here?"

I start, putting Ashley's picture down. "A group of five kidnapped and raped Ashley Larsson. She had been missing for around 72 hours and was found walking into the squadroom asking for me, hypothermic." Casey nods to my words, looking at Ashley's wounds. "We found and arrested three of the five, though two are still out. Ellie..." I quicken my speech to get through her last name. "...Benson was at a convenience store and started walking home when she was kidnapped. Taken to a car, where she was thrown in a trunk. She took her cell phone out and called 9-1-1. We didn't quite get to her fast enough and we found her in a dark room in a warehouse raped and beaten."

"Your daughter was raped?" Casey asks. She knew I had a child. Even babysat for me a couple times. It just still sounds so unbelievable. I nod.

"I'm gonna get these bastards."