chapter 7

Xiao Zhan's P.O.V

It started to get cold.

I was hugging myself tight and crying hard.

Then after a moment I felt an umbrella over my head.

I looked up and then looked back

He was standing there holding an umbrella.

I took a step forward to move out of his umbrella.

He moved a step forward too.

"Do you think it's funny? Why are you here?" I asked him.

"You shouldn't be here out in the rain" he said.

"Why do you even care?" I asked back.

He stayed silent for a while.

"Zhan ge, I'm sorry. It probably was really hard for you. I should've thought about your feelings before telling this to you." he said.

"Forget it" I said.

He was standing really close to me.

"Just leave me here alone for a bit more time." I said pushing him a little bit.

I felt like i had no energy left in my body from all the crying.

Then I fell on my knees.

I don't know how long I've been standing here in the rain. I even got cramps on my legs.

I don't bother to get up. I just sat there.

Then he sat down next to me too putting his umbrella on the side.

"What am I gonna do with this information. I felt betrayed. I felt like I've been living under the rock. But I still love him, I still want him. I need him by my side right now." I said hiding my face in the crock of my knees. Tears were still falling down from my eyes.

"Zhan ge. Can you look at me?" He asked.

I stayed silent like I haven't heard what he just said.

"Zhan ge, think of me as him, call me yibo, I'll pretend to be him. I'm willing to ease your pain." He said which got me look at him in an instant.

I only looked at him in surprise.

"I'm serious about it Zhan ge. I don't mind pretending to be him for you. Hug me if you feel sad, kiss me if you miss him. As long as you can forget your pain everything is fine." He added.

A sudden bundle of emotions came flashing to me.

'Can I do this? What even is this? Can I forget if I do this?

I extended my hand towards his face. Gently touch his cheeks.

"Yibo..."

Then I leaned in. I felt him leaning in a bit too.

I connected our lips in no time.

By now the rain has also stopped pouring.

He was a bit surprise I can tell...but I didn't stopped there.

I kissed him deeply...my tongue found it's way in his mouth soon after he responded.

My tears got mixed up with saliva. It definitely was a salty kiss.

Can I be this selfish?

Or am I too lonely to even think about it anymore?

We both pulled away out of breath.

I'm loosing my mind.

I run my fingers through my wet and messy hair.

"Let's go back in" was the only thing I said before getting up and heading towards the entrance.

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Next day, I had a really bad headache. My throat was hurting. I also got sick a little for staying out in the rain for too long.

I decided to send ah Xing to my parents house for a couple of days

I need time for myself. Might not be able to look after ah Xing properly when I get sick, and when I'm in a lot of thoughts.

Although I was not in good condition I drove him to my parents house.

My mom told me to stay over for the night but since I have to take care and look through some new employment file for the restaurant I had to come back.

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*Night*

I was looking through some files when I heard a knock on my door.

I went to open it and saw him standing there with some medicines.

He got in.

"I heard you sneezing a lot this morning. So brought these medicines beforehand" he said while touching my forehead to check my temperature.

"Your temperature is a bit high so take this medicines after dinner." He said and surprisingly Peck on my forehead before leaving the room.

"Yi...Yibo..." I called from behind.

He stopped to look at me.

"About yesterday night...I don't....." I struggled with my words.

Do I just pretend that it's the Yibo I knew from the start or do I just apologize for yesterday night?

Somehow, I want it even though I know it's wrong.

Then I went to hug him.

It feels good to have someone embrace you. I really want to forget everything and pretend it's him . But deep down I know it's wrong.

" I know you want to help me forget about my pain. But it's wrong and selfish of me to do so... please forgot about yesterday night. You don't have to care about me, you don't have to pretend... let's just be, like how we used to before." I said breaking the hug.

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Wang Yibo's P.O.V

It wasn't so wise of me when I said that, I could pretend to be him, that I don't care if he think of me as him.

But I really wanted to help him forget about his pain.

Must be really hard to loose someone you really love.Must be really hard to find out a truth about that loved one after his death.Must be really hard to feel like you got betrayed by the one you love. Must be really hard, when no one is around you anymore to comfort you and hug you when you feel sad.

I was a bit surprised when he kissed me. A bit sad too for no reason.

He kissed me thinking of him.

I felt every emotions in that kiss. I felt his love for him, I felt how much he missed him. I felt how much he long for him. How much he wants him near.

I can taste his tears in our kiss. It indeed was a salty yet a great kiss. But that kiss wasn't meant for me.

I envy my brother.

But I can't blame, I'm the one who wanted to pretend to be him for Zhan Ge.

I guess I'm falling again.