58

Janet

"I'm sorry, we going where?"

"To church." I replied to my wife who was sitting looking confused.

Kyrin shook her head as if she was lost. "So let me put this together correctly, you woke us up early this morning, three days before you leave for Vegas... to go to church? Do you know how much mind blowing sex we could be having right now?"

I sent her a look. "No, it hasn't crossed my mind because we are on our way to church. Come on baby, we have three days left until I go. We can do anything you want after this."

"Which will only give me 72 hours with you. Which is divided by 4 because of our son. So I have 18 hours with you and you think this is okay?"

Joey, who was driving, chuckled. "It's gonna be alright Kyrin."

"And which church—." She paused when she looked back and saw the Potters House. "You trynna go to Vegas single huh? Is that what you doing? You got jokes. You must not wanna go to Vegas married."

"Thought there was no beef Kyrin?" Joey asked to be petty.

"Shut the hell up Joey." My wife put up the partition before looking at me. "I told you I needed time."

"Times up. You need to hash the issue out and you know it." I replied as Joey parked and got out of the truck. Instead of opening the door, he stepped away knowing how this was about to end.

"Hash the issue? Janet, whew this about to be our first argument as a married couple."

"No it's not because you don't have a damn choice. Get your ass in that church. I'm not playing Paige, don't make me have to repeat myself." My tone dropped and I raised a eyebrow. "Am I understood?"

She pouted as her head dropped in the defeat. Softly, she mumbled. "Yes daddy."

"Alright then, come on." I held my hand out for her to grab and she did slowly as I opened our door and we got out. "Gimme a kiss." She pecked my lips shortly for she didn't get her way. Joey walked in front of us and I was kind of pulling Kyrin because she was walking slow. I turned around and saw that her lip was to the ground. "Fix your face, Kyrin."

Her face scrunched up before it settled on a normal unbothered look. It was gonna be the best I could get, so I took it. We walked up the steps and sat next to the rest of the family. Kyrin and I ended up being late, which was not unusual for us.

A choir was singing when we sat down. The tune was familiar to me but I couldn't quite put my finger on it until they sung the word, "Emmanuel." My mind flashed back to the young Jackson's in church on second Sunday, singing the Lords praise until our throats began to hurt.

I missed it sometimes. Missed Mikey singing his solos and then handing me or Jermaine the microphone when he wasn't feeling the songs anymore. Those were the good times.

When the choir settled, Sarah walked out on the stage and everyone stood and began clapping. She waved them off. "Now, you guys know I don't like when you do that. I'm nobody worth clapping over. I'm the same amount of human as everyone else." 

She sat her bible on the platform and looked down at it. "Whew." She took a breath on the stage and the congregation laughed at her. "Well, we open with with prayer but I must add, being pregnant is a hassle."

"Take ya time!"

I shook my head in humor at them yelling that. She chuckled on the stage before speaking. "Follow me to the book of Ephesians. Chapter 4. Verses 31 through 32. The good book states, "Put aside all bitterness, losing your temper, anger, shouting and slander, along with every other evil. Be kind, compassionate, and forgiving to each other, in the same way God forgave you in Christ."

She took a breath and began praying. "God, we come to You with humble and open hearts. We bring forth our sins Father. We lay them down and repent them Father. We come asking for healing God. Someone in the room needs a break through. Somebody needs understanding. Somebody needs healing. Somebody needs a breath of air because they feel like they've been suffocating Lord God. I come to you this morning, asking for a light in that dark alley. Someone feels lost Lord, I'm asking for their findings. Somebody just needs a touch and a guide and I'm asking for Your touch and guidance, Father. Only you can show them the way to light. Only you can give them peace. God, somebody in this room needs the power of forgiveness and this morning, I need you to help me grant it. We come asking that this morning in the mighty name of Jesus, we lift your name up and praise you on high. Amen."

"Amen." Everyone spoke after she insinuated it.

I met eye contact with Kyrin who seemed shocked. I mumbled. "You okay?"

Kyrin looked at me and whispered. "You don't understand, I have seen this woman twerk on a wall upside down at clubs every Saturday night. From that to praying in a church full of people is a transition I have to catch my mind up on."

Shaking my head, I replied. "I understand that. I'll be back."

"Where are you—." She stopped when I approached Juliette.

I motioned outside. "Let's go have a conversation."

Juliette nodded as she got up. "Alright."

Ember was still in the hospital, it had been two days since the birth of KJ and the unveiling that she has an illness. I heard Juliette wasn't doing good, and weather we liked each other or not, it was worth a conversation at least.

Joey sent me a warning look but I simply rolled my eyes. We weren't going to fight— unless she tried it again then... then we would.

When we got outside, she spoke. "Look, I know we aren't at the best of terms right now, but I never said I didn't like you. The Eissa comment was out of line—."

"The TJ comment was as well." I cut her off to let her know I was meeting her in the middle.

Juliette nodded. "Yeah we both crossed a boundary that shouldn't have been crossed but I never had a problem with you, Janet. It was the man whose working for you that was getting under my skin."

"He never told me that was a problem. I would have had someone to replace him when he was home with you guys. I just— I feel somewhat responsible."

"Don't. That's a grown man. We both made our decisions and mistakes and now it's time to pay the piper. It'll be alright. We're going to meet in the middle from now on."

"That's good. I'm glad to hear that."

"So are we good?"

I nodded and smiled. "We're good, Juliette."

"Good." She smiled back before we turned back to enter the church. "By the way, find a way to break it to Eissa that him and KJ have to share a birthday."

Sending her a look, I shook my head. "We are going to have to ease it on him. Eissa is going to have a fit."

We both giggled in agreement as we climbed the steps back to the balcony. Sarah's voice registered in our ears again as we did.

"So today, let's discuss the topic of forgiveness" Sarah spoke as Juliette and I found our seats again.

Kyrin scoffed and I popped her thigh causing her to look at me. "How'd it go?"

I smiled. "It went fine. We handled it."

"Good." She smiled back.

"We're in church, so I'm going to say all that can be said... but it's different levels to forgiveness. The beginning levels always seem to be the easiest but those master levels— those seem to get us every time. See today, I don't plan on preaching, today I plan on speaking to every gate that'll open their doors and hear me. So, it's time to give hell notice. Sometimes... you mess up. You make a choice that leads to another choice and you find yourself losing. You lose that friend. That brother or that sister. That cousin or that close friend that's like a cousin. I can only imagine the others you can lose. Guys, I'm standing here letting you know that I've been praying."

Sarah took a pause before continuing. "I've been a praying warrior here lately. I've had so much on my heart and only the Lord himself knows how heavy my hearts been feeling here lately. Things seem to be falling apart and everything I touch seems to not be as golden as it was before. Guys, let me let you know now. Y'all need to turn my mic up, cause imma need the gates of Hell to hear me right now. This is the last day. I've cried my last tears towards the situations. I'm not sinking any further. See the Devil thinks he has me but God is only using me as a distraction so He can build something greater. He's done it for me. He's put me on the battlefield and now I've got to finish this race with Him. He's given me a tough battle because I'm a strengthened warrior. You see there's a difference between strong and strengthened."

People stood and reached their hands out towards Sarah as we listened on from the balcony seats. Folks were shouting their amens, and I couldn't blame them. This woman had word in her.

"See, you can be strong and still break, but when you've become strengthened... you might come close but you'll never break. You will merely bend and I must say, bending is better than breaking. I was strong guys, strong but not strengthened. My heart was tired and my soul had long and dried up inside of me. That rock that I could once find was covered up by guilt and shame and pride. I found myself beaten, literally and figuratively. I let a man put his hands on me for the sake of nothing needed but simply wanted. And I got nothing from him in the process...."

"What the..." Kyrin sat up some in her seat as Sarah took a breath. We all looked at Kyrin as we watched her listen to Sarah.

"Guys, I found myself sitting in a bar with shades on drinking myself into another dimension. A man— an extraordinary blessing from God... just so happened to sit next to me. I'll never forget his face when he noticed it was me, yet when we met eye contact his eyes lacked a soul just liked mines did. We were both hurting and little did we know, God was making our path cross in a way like never before. He was my Angel sent by God. This man is the love of my life and I owe him the world." She met eye contact with Langston. "I haven't fully been able to give it to him just yet but he's okay with that. He's okay with me and that's all I could ask for and more. So this one, this one is for you Langston."

Langston smiled as his face hit the screen of Sarah's backdrop. Sarah smiled back at him before continuing. "This leads me back to forgiveness today. See, with Langston and I, we both needed to forgive someone but it was hard. The Devil had put us into a box and as long as we strayed from the light, we seemed to worsen. It seemed like the hardest objective ever given to us. So we helped each other. Anytime I needed to talk, weather it was early morning or late night, he always answered. Even if he was sleepy, he'd wake up for me. This man taught me that forgiveness is the only power no one can take away from me. It turns out I might have actually been teaching him the same but something kept us apart for years."

It didn't take a rocket scientist to know the something was Kyrin. I made eye contact with Phoebe who made the tea cup fingers and sipped it. I shook my head as I stopped looking at her before I laughed.

"Something that we both loved and cared about hung in the balance of our relationship. Something that's been hurting us now that we've lost it but we haven't given up hope on it. Sometimes forgiveness take a week, sometimes months and sometimes years. Sometimes it doesn't come at all, but all we can do is pray that this isn't the case. I've—."

Kyrin inhaled deeply before getting up and walking out. Everyone stood and I shook my head for them to stay as I followed my wife. She seemed to have fire under her feet because she was moving quickly. When we got outside, I called after her. "Baby..."

She turned around and I saw that tears were falling. Kyrin shook her head before walking into my arms. I wrapped my arms around her as she buried her face in the crook of my neck. My hand was rubbing my back as I soothed her.

Sarah

I walked back towards my office but my boyfriend stepped in front of me smiling. "Hey beautiful."

Smiling back, I replied. "Hey baby."

"How's my baby?" I thought he was reflecting to our child in my stomach but his eyes stayed on me.

"I'm okay." I replied skeptical. "You okay?"

"You know I love you."

"Langston, I'll knock you upside the head with this Bible. What's wrong?" I asked getting impatient towards his prolonging.

He shook his head. "Nothing bad, it's just Kyrin brought the family down to hear you speak today. I just wanted to let you know."

My face furrowed before my heart dropped. "No Langston. That is bad. That's really really bad. I never told Kyrin."

"I thought you did—."

"No. No. I never got the guts. I was always worrying about her, I never told her about me. Where are they?"

"They're still in the balcony." He replied.

I handed him my Bible and notes as I walked back towards the sanctuary. When I walked in, I looked up and saw them leaving. Grabbing the closest mic, I turned it on and spoke. "I know you all aren't leaving without even saying hey."

They turned back and all began waving. Phoebe yelled. "You did good sis!"

"Thank you. Come down here." I motioned them to join me on the floor. When they got down there, I noticed Janet was sending me a look and it caused me to ask. "Where's Kyrin?"

Janet pointed towards the back. "She said she wanted to talk to you in your office."

I nodded. "Okay, I'll be back. Make yourself comfortable, I'll send Langston up here."

When I walked away, I was dragging sort of. I didn't want to face Kyrin like this. This was the second time I had kept something from her and Lord only knew how pissed off she was about it. I made it to my office and Langston was standing outside of my door.

He sighed as he handed me my Bible and notes. "She doesn't wanna talk to me. You're up."

"The rest of the family is in the sanctuary. Go talk to them."

Langston nodded and pecked my lips. "Alright. I love you."

"I love you too baby." I replied as he walked away. I took a deep breath before opening the door of my office. Kyrin was looking at my pictures sitting on one of the shelves. This was an old office for I was only here every once and a while since I mainstreamed Dallas instead of LA.

She turned to me when I shut the door behind me. Kyrin spoke to me for the first time in a long time. "You know what's kind of weird."

"What?" It came out scratchy for I didn't feel like fighting today. I just wanted to talk this out and go back to how we were.

"I always thought Langston was my guardian angel and mines only. I always thought he'd just saved me from my situation but I never thought one day I'd have to share him. I mean, how much could a angel take on?" She asked herself mainly before shaking her head. "Look, what I'm getting at is, I'm okay with sharing him. He's your angel and your soulmate. He's just my angel. I can't be upset at that but why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know how Kyrin. I've always been your big sister in a way and I didn't want you to think that I had a moment of weakness like that. I wasn't the person you had come to love—."

"You do understand that you have loved me when I was losing my mind, depressed and even when I was cussing you out, yes?" She asked me softly. "You having a moment of weakness in my various moments wouldn't have changed one thing. We are family Sarah, and I'm sorry for how I've been acting but it isn't directed at you. Langston and I have a problem, not you. You don't contribute to this mess. I just want my big sister back."

"You never lost her." I replied honestly as I opened my arms.

She gladly came over and gave me a hug. As we hugged she mumbled, "Janet's leaving to go to Vegas in a few days. Spend time with me when she's gone please, I'm gonna be going through more withdrawals than a crack head."

I laughed as we released. "I'll spend time with you girl, you'll make it through."

"Good. Cause I didn't wanna be by myself."

"How's Ember?"

"Good. She's in good spirits. She should be getting released today. She's getting the surgery. She told Juliette that last night before she left. So right now, everything's just rolling and we are just watching it."

I nodded. "I'm just glad it's something we can do about it."

"Yeah, Phoebe's taking it rough though. I think it's finally hitting home for her. Tiff and I have been trying to keep her occupied to the best of our abilities but she's been everywhere. Mostly trying to just check on Ember but Ember is getting annoyed with being babied. You know...Classic Broussard sister shit."

"Hey." I warned.

"Sorry God." She quickly looked up before sitting on the edge of my desk.

"Everything is gonna work out in Gods timing. We will be alright."

"I pray so, hey, when are you leaving for Dallas?"

"Tonight." I replied. "My appointment is in four days. At Temple if you wanna come."

Kyrin sent me a look. "I told you I probably won't get off. Maybe the next one."

"Yeah..." I knew that wasn't the reason, but I let it go. "Maybe the next one."