32

Janet

"Fuck." My girlfriend groaned loudly after she hit something in the darkness of trying to enter my bedroom. "Janet..."

I sat up and turned my lamp on as I rubbed my eyes slowly and then glanced at her path. I noticed that she had ran into a box of photo albums I had pulled out earlier. "Sorry baby. I forgot I left those there."

She waved it off as she dropped her duffel bag near the door. "It's fine." I watched as she came to the bed and crawled in. Her arms snaked around my waist as she mumbled. "That flight back was so rocky. We hit so much turbulence."

I frowned. "Aww baby. Jet lagged?"

Kyrin shook her head. "Nope. Why are your eyes puffy?"

"Huh?"

My girlfriend tilted my head so that it was directly in line with hers. "Baby, what's wrong?"

My head shook. "Nothing baby, they're probably just puffy from me being sleep. I'm fine."

Her hand gripped my chin gently, and I realized that she didn't believe a word that had left my lips. "Janet, please.. that was a lie. What's wrong?"

Taking a shallow short breath, I turned and opened the draw in my night stand. I grabbed the envelope and pulled it out as I handed it to her. "I.. I um got it in the mail today."

I watched lowly as she opened it and pulled the papers out. Her eyes traced the words on the pages completely before finding concentration in my owns. "Custody? Child support? Can he do this?"

"He's Eissa's father. Of course he can do this. He gave me a option and I didn't choose him. So now I pay. Now I reap."

It was quiet for a few, as Kyrin studied me and I aimlessly allowed her to do so. She nodded to herself before pulling me into her. I laid my head on her chest and closed my eyes as I inhaled her scent. My head rose and sunk at the rate of her breaths as a sudden sense of calm washed over me.

"I love you. So no matter what happens, I'll always love you. Eissa loves you. No matter what happens, nothing will affect the love that child has for his mother. You go to court, and you fight this and I will be here every step of the way. In the end, God's way will prevail." I wrapped my arms around her waist at the comfort of her words. "You're always holding me and wiping my tears, but baby this goes both ways. I'm here. No matter what. So you can cry, you can scream. I'm here, not for just the good times but the bad too."

I nodded in her chest. "I know."

"Okay then..." She pulled my head up towards her. "Don't ever think you have to hide something from me baby. Don't think you have to carry this on your own. I'm here. You are my priority. Understand?"

"Yes Principal Broussard."

She smiled. "Mhm. I'm serious baby, take me serious right quick."

"I am taking you serious."

"Good." Her response was simple as she placed a kiss on my lips and I snuggled back into her.

"I like when we do this."

"When we do what?"

I replied lightly as I felt her tracing indescribable patterns on my stomach. "Hold each other. Just vent. Just let it out and talk. It's one of my favorite things to do. It makes me happy."

"Really?"

"Mhm. That and other things." From habit, I licked my lips just reflecting on the other times.

My girlfriend rolled her eyes as the corners of her lips turned up. "Well I'm honored that I am the one making you happy."

We kissed again before I asked, "Hey, weren't you supposed to be coming back tomorrow?"

"We had a dent in plans." She mumbled as she bit down on her lip.

"What happened now? The whole son thing?" Kyrin shook her head and it caused me to ask again. "Ok, so what else happened?"

"I don't wanna talk about it right now. You've got enough on your plate and it's—."

I cut her off. "Kyrin, what's wrong?"

"Well, Langston... he— he told me." She paused as she looked down at her hands and looked back up at me. It seemed as if something had bit down on her that caused her to have to move because next she got out of the bed completely. "He told me— see his dad's a detective."

"Ok..." I trailed so she could continue.

"They been looking over daddy's blood tests. Looking over what made him die. It shouldn't have gotten to the police at all if it was just a heart attack. So it caught Langston's eye. He went and read the reports and— and she did it."

"She did what?"

"My momma. She— she killed daddy. S-She was poisoning him. For how long? I don't know but it had to have been a while, a- a long time. It was so much poison in his blood stream that it caught the doctors attention."

I sat up. "Kyrin, wheres your mom?"

"Sitting in a jail cell." She answered anxiously. "Langston tried to warn me, but by time we made it back to the house the cops had already gotten cuffs on her. The last thing I told her was to not speak until we get her a lawyer. Ember is acting as if her worlds falling apart. Phoebe isn't taking anything seriously. And then there's me. Little ole me." She took a breath, one that only took a half of a second. "I'm fixing. Constantly fixing my family. Janet I keep fixing. I'm sick of fixing! Why do I always have to fix things? I wanna fall apart. I wanna not take it serious but I can't I have to—."

"Breathe." I cut her off as I got out of my bed and walked around to her. "Baby, all you have to do right now is breathe. Come here."

My girlfriend looked up at me slowly before shaking her head. "Jan—."

"Come here." I motioned her towards me as I pulled her in into me. She didn't hug me back, her arms stayed glued to her side as I held her. "Baby, everything isn't on you. You hear me? Everything is not Kyrin's problem. Stop picking up the baggage. Stop holding it. Stop carrying it. This isn't yours to carry." Slowly, I felt her arms wrap around my figure. "Breathe."

I felt her exhale as she mumbled. "I love you."

"I love you too baby." Placing a kiss behind her ear, I felt her shiver.

"Thank you. I don't know if I tell you that enough."

"You don't have to thank me. That's what I'm here for."

"Yeah, but it seems like I'm always going through it—."

"Baby, like I just said, that's what I'm here for. Feel like crying?"

She chuckled. "Not really. Do you feel like crying?"

I shrugged. "I think I'm cried out. You tired?"

"Nope." She saw my face and giggled. "What baby? What's in that head of yours?"

"Nothing." I replied honestly as I suggested. "Come sit with me on the balcony."

Her hand interlaced with my owns as I guided us out my balcony doors. It was a clear and dry night in LA. The stars danced brightly in the sky and gave us enough light without the moon. We both sat on my wicker sofa and I laid between her legs, settling my head in her chest. She wrapped her arms around my torso as I nestled closer into her.

"Ya know, one day, when we're married and living together, we won't be worrying about this extra stuff."

I smiled to myself. "Oh, so you gone marry me?"

Kyrin giggled as she entangled our fingers again. "Hell yes I'm gone marry you girl."

"Well then, I can't wait." I mumbled as we began to stare at the stars together. It was silent, and we just enjoyed each other's company, it was moment baring to just be in her arms right now. I missed these moments, the non distracting moments. "What would our colors be?"

"At our wedding?"

"Yeah."

"How about cream and a wine red?"

"Instead of cream, maybe silver?" I suggested.

"Silver and a dark red sounds nice too. Season?"

I decided quickly. "Spring. Not too cold. Not too hot."

"It's just right."

"Exactly." My eyes lifted to look at Kyrin.

She shook her head. "Church? Beach? A empty space hall? A hotel banquet room?"

"How about a destination wedding? Or a concert space?"

"How many people coming to this wedding that we need a concert space? We allowing the public in?"

I nodded. "Yes and no. Maybe the exclusive public. I want the world to see me claim you."

Kyrin chuckled. "I have no problem with that, but haven't you already claimed me?"

"When I say claim you, I mean your last name."

"You wanna go to Broussard?" She asked me curiously.

"Maybe. I don't know." I shifted against her. "It'll be different. Something new for me."

She pouted. "I liked the sound of Kyrin Paige Jackson though."

I shook my head as I smiled softly. "Well then you can pick up Jackson then." 

"Speaking of Jackson, wheres Mama K been?"

My finger went to her lips. "Ssh. Don't speak her up. She's got inhuman bat ears. She'll pop up."

"Imma tell her you didn't wanna see her too."

Side eyeing her, I replied. "My own girlfriend? Ready to snitch me out?"

She chuckled as she nodded. "Always ready to snitch you out when it comes to Mama K."

"Technically that's a lie because you didn't snitch me out when we first had dinner."

"That was a sympathy lie heffa. That don't count."

We both laughed as I replied. "It so counts."

Kyrin shrugged. "I had a lot of times to snitch you out, and now that I'm thinking on it, I've never done it. Wow, where's my award?"

"You'll get it soon."

"Oh, I really get an award?"

"Mhm." It got silent for a while again, and we saw something shoot by in the sky. "Babe! It's a shooting star, make a wish!"

"Uh uh. I don't believe in that."

Breaking from her embrace, I stood. "Come on baby, you never know." I closed my eyes and looked up as I thought my wish over and asked it. When I turned back to my girlfriend she was sitting up and watching me. "Did you make a wish?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I wished for—."

"No. Don't tell me." I stopped her. "That's bad luck. It won't come true."

Kyrin smiled softly at me before reaching out and grabbing my hands. She pulled me back towards her as she spoke. "Our one years coming up."

"I know right, I'm excited." I replied honestly as her hands laid on my waist. "The movers are coming in a week or two, and by time you get settled in we can celebrate our one year in non-moving peace. What do you wanna do for it?"

"I don't know. Spending the day with you is honestly celebration enough, but I have a feeling you don't want anything that simple."

I smiled down at her as I placed my hands on the side of her face. Kissing her lips, I softly spoke. "How about dinner?"

"Well, depends, what you fixing?"

A chuckle left my lips as I mumbled. "If I step into that kitchen and cook, you're going to eat whatever hits that plate."

Her mouth dropped. "Wowww. You gone do me like that?"

"Mhm. One year anniversary or not, I make it, you eat it. Simple."

Kyrin mocked me. "I make it, you eat it." She rolled her eyes. "Girl, please. I will order some pizza if it's something I don't like."

"And I will send the pizza man back to where he came from." I replied as I walked back over to my patio door and slid it open. My eyes shot back towards her as I asked, "Coming?"

She stood as she nodded. "Of course I am."