19

Kyrin

I sat on the swing of our porch, as it rocked back and forth. The front door opened and when I glanced up, I was met with my sisters.

They sat on either side of me as we stayed silent for a while.

"Where's Janet?" Phoebe asked out of nowhere.

"The hotel with Joey. I convinced her that it wasn't enough room here and that I'd come meet her later."

Ember looked at me. "You two are more than just friends eh?"

Nodding, I sighed. "Yeah. We are. Which is why it was Phoebes duty to keep her away from Texas."

"I tried, but her tone heightened and I wasn't about to die on the hands of you. Plus, when I told her you had left, I didn't think she would just pop up in Texas."

"Well where else did ya think she was gone pop up at? The Hawaiian islands?" Ember asked sarcastically. "Janet's your first girlfriend yeah?"

Phoebe pointed the finger as I mumbled. "Yeah, first and last. If she doesn't work out then I'm going back straight. Janet doesn't know that dad and Joanna are... ya know..."

"Homophobic? Girl it's not a cuss word. Say that shit." P scolded me. "They too damn old to do shit like that and they know it. It isn't right."

Em shook her head. "Why are they like that? I mean mommy had a whole conversation with Janet yesterday and she seemed to love her."

"She probably did, but once it's brought to light that I'm Janet's girlfriend, they'll act like the damn world is going to end. Well more like daddy is going to shit his bricks and momma ain't gone say shit about it."

Phoebe agreed. "You not lying. Let's not forget how they did me over—."

"Jessica in the 10th grade." We all spoke simultaneously.

"Called the priest to the house to pray the evil spirits out your soul because you knew that you were gay." Ember muttered as we swung. "Shit, come as you are. Ain't that what the pastors say?"

My parents were hell bent on being Catholics and living and breathing the Bible. I didn't see how, cause my mother was the biggest sinner of them all— but hey, that might just be my thoughts.

I over looked at Phoebe. "You haven't dated since Jessica either."

She nodded. "Exactly. They told me I couldn't be gay under their roofs, so I got my own place where I could be myself. I wasn't about to force myself to go straight for anybody. Period."

"No tampon." Ember added in causing me to look at her weirdly.

"Alright. Let's not repeat that, but I have a question."

"Mhm."

"How in the hell did Janet get your number?" I asked.

Ember and I looked Phoebes way as she smiled to herself. "Well, I don't know how Janet got it unless she got it from Tiffany."

"Tiffany?" Ember asked for clarification.

"Janets friend and nanny." I smirked. "Oh... so you and Tiffany met? Where was I?"

"In the school talking to Janet. It was the day Eissa fought, she was outside talking to Joey and I shot my shot."

"Well shit, did you make it?" I asked.

She popped her imaginary collar. "Nothing but net. Straight 3 pointers. Made it in so smooth, I was feeling like Steph Curry with the shots."

Em and I laughed at her and after it died down we all just sat in peace.

My older sister broke the silence. "Hey, are we all good again? Cause if so, I'd like to say something."

P shrugged. "All up to our dear middle sister here."

"We're good." I answered honestly. "I was young— hell I still am, but I think I just was holding a grudge because I thought you left me at that party Em. You never told me you got me out of there with Langston. I just felt like you abandoned me, and Lord knows that I hate that feeling."

"That's understandable." Ember replied as she took a deep breath. "Well, no matter what they say whenever you do tell them, just know that we love you regardless. Right Phoebe?"

"Right. Nothing they say will make us look at anything differently. We love you, and I'd look crazy acting funny about it if I'm gay myself."

Ember made a face. "Well I ain't saying all that. I'm strictly dickly over here."

"We know Emmy." I replied monotoned as I rolled my eyes. "Trey in the 12th grade."

"Don't mention him!" She exclaimed loudly before she asked. "When do you plan on telling them?"

"Actually," Standing up, I motioned towards the house. "Right now."

My sisters nodded but I could tell that they were caught off guard with my answer. "Let me get my car keys ready just in case."

They followed in my suit as I walked into the house. Breakfast filled my sense of smell but I pushed it to the back of my mind for a moment.

That was until we all saw that my mother and father were at the dinner table eating breakfast in silence.

My father looked up at us. "Have a seat. Eat."

"Actually daddy, I need to go get my keys f—."

Daddy cut Ember off. "Little girl, it was not a question."

Throwing my sisters a worried glance, we went and sat down. My parents sat at both heads of the table as Ember sat across from me. Phoebe sat next to me and immediately began tapping her fingers against the wood of the table.

She was nervous— hell we all were.

"Dad, what's this about?" I asked.

"Actually, your mother would like to lead this meeting." My father replied.

Joanna sat up as she cleared her throat. "Kyrin, I was speaking with Janet yesterday. She seems nice."

"She is." I replied simply.

"She told me how great you are with her son, said you teach him..."

When she trailed off again, my face wore one of confusion. "Ok..."

"A few ago, I called the school. To check on your stats, make sure your write ups were bare minimum to none." 

Joanna had reached a new level of crazy. I was a grown ass woman.

"Get to the point." My patience wore thin.

My mother sent me a look. "They told me you quit. Wanna tell me why?"

"It's none of your damn business." I shot back.

A hand hit the table harshly, causing everything on top of it to shake, and causing my sisters and I to jump.

Everyone's eyes snapped to my father whose hand caused the abrupt interruption. "You will not speak to your mother like that. We let you get away with your smart attitude for the past few days, but it ends now."

I scoffed. "Oh so wait a minute, you two must be screwing again because that's the only time you ever jump in to save your baby mother."

Joanna spoke again. "You quit your job why?"

"Because I am financially stable, had a plan to get another one, and oh the most important one actually, I am grown."

"See, under this roof you are going to watch your tone." My fathers voice deepened as his gaze stayed upon Joanna. "Because we are one of the reasons you're financially stable."

My next statement came easily. "Ok and? I don't live under this roof."

"But you're sitting under it right?!" He raised his voice. "I don't know what's gotten into you since you carried your tail to LA, but you better remember who you're dealing with in this house young lady!"

Chuckling, I pushed the plate in front of me away as I stood up. "Well, let me get from up under this roof then. I've been wanting to get back to my house anyways."

When I went to walk away, my mother spoke. "Sit down Kyrin."

"No!" I yelled as I looked at them. "I'm sick of this stupid ass house and I don't even live in it anymore! Since you two love minding everyone's business but your owns, Janet and I date. She's my girlfriend. Surprise! You have another gay daughter and on that note I'm leaving."

"Take another step and it'll be your last." My fathers voice cut through the air coldly.

My movements ceased as I turned and faced them again. "Daddy..."

"What did you just say?" His question pierced through the air.

"I don't care what you think... I truly don't. I'm happy and I'm grown daddy. I can't control who I'm attracted to!" I exclaimed.

"I did not raise a gay daughter." He was angry, his veins popping out of his neck and forehead. "God did not give us a gay daughter."

My mother put her head down. "Nathan..."

"You think that's okay? No daughter of mines is going to be gay! It's a sin! You'll be damned to hell!" He began yelling.

"And that's my choice!" I yelled back.

This time, my father slammed both fist on the table and hauled to his feet. "It is not your choice! You leave this house and you're cut off. You consider yourself a orphan—."

"Nathan!" My mom tried to interfere.

Daddy's voice rose higher. "Joanna shut up!" He looked at me again and pointed my way. "You consider yourself parentless, you hear me? You walk out that door and it's no more money. No more car. You want to live that lifestyle, then you do so by yourself. I'll be damned if I go down with you."

Tears fell down my cheeks as my head went in a up and down fashion. "You know what... that's fine. Cut me off."

"Don't force my hand child." He replied as he walked over to the cabinet in the dining room and doused his hand in holy oil. "Let me rid the demons. Come here."

Ember spoke up. "Now daddy, she can't control who she loves and you know it."

"Hush up." He silenced her as he stared into my eyes as he grabbed the bottle of oil. "Make a choice."

"What do you want me to do? Break up with her because you help me with money? You want me to decide? Seriously daddy? You're doing this again? First to Phoebe, now to me?" I questioned in disbelief as more tears fell.

Phoebe had her head in her hands as she began to sob.

"It's either us or her." My father walked over to me and the amount of disbelief I was in made me stay rooted. Slowly, he began making a cross on my forehead. "Holy Ghost, we come to you as humbled as we know how."

"Daddy stop." Phoebe begged him as I looked into his eyes with pain laying evident behind my own.

Her plead went ignored as he kept going. "O Divine Eternal Father, in union with your Divine Son and the Holy Spirit, and through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, I beg you to destroy the power of your greatest enemy— the evil spirits. My child is lost father. Gone into a life of sin. This unforgivable sin father."

"Every sin is forgivable daddy." I reminded him as I began sobbing and my heart began beating more rapidly.

This wasn't my father— this man was my nightmare.

He put more oil on his hand and placed his palm on my forehead and the other on my arm. "My daughter has forgotten where her faith lies father. Cast these spirits in her body into the deepest recesses of hell and chain them there forever. Take possession of your Kingdom which you have created and which is rightfully yours. Heavenly Father, give us the reign—."

"Daddy! That's enough!" Ember yelled out.

Phoebe's voice came after her as everyone at the table shot up from their seats. "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!"

My mother yelled out. "Nathan that is enough! Stop it!"

"Anyone of y'all move and so help me God you will be in the same boat as her!" My eyes closed as I balled my fist up, my nails digging into my palm. He continued praying. "Give us reign of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary. I repeat this prayer out of pure love for You with every beat of my heart and with every breath I take. Amen."

My eyes opened when his palm retracted and he began to fling holy oil on me. His voice repeated the same thing as my body flinched from the coldness of the oil. "Choose my child. Choose my child."

The oil felt as if it was molding into my skin, going to war with my pores and I felt it dripping down my back from my hair.

This was so unreal to my eyes and ears that I was shocked. I had always said that this would never be me. Never would I be forced to choose between my family and something I loved.

Never would it happen to me. Not me. Lord no, not me. I always thought that my parents would come around. Yet, this ultimatum sat in front of me.

"Stop it!" I pushed him back as my eyes shot open and my voice cried out. "I choose her!"

My feet moved rapidly as I ran outside the house and towards the stop sign at the end of the street. My fathers voice echoed along the sidewalks as I ran. "And don't you come back! Ain't no demons gone be in my home!"

I stopped at the bus stop bench and sat down as I tried to calm my breathing. Hand against my chest, my tears just wouldn't stop falling.

My mind was everywhere as I fumbled to get my phone unlocked.

A car pulled up on side of me and I looked up slowly to see that it was Ember and Phoebe. "Get in."

Standing up shakily, I walked to the car and got in the backseat.

Phoebe was in the front seat taking deep breathes as she shook her head and ran a hand through her hair. "Tha- that wasn't daddy. He didn't even do that much to me. Now he's disowning you? He can't be serious. And Joanna ass just sits there! She just fucking sits there! Any other day, she controls his every damn move!"

I sat back not moving or speaking.

"If he disowns you, then he's disowning us all. There is no in between." Ember spoke as she drove. "Phoebe, texted Janet. We're going to her. Just breathe sis, we going to her."

My voice still didn't sound. I didn't feel anything but a heavy feeling on my chest and the voice in the back of my head praying that I had just made the right choice.