Chapter 50: Winter Formal

Bokuto still sat close as we pulled up to the school.

Once the driver opened the door, Bokuto reached for my hand. Pulling me from the car with him, as though he can't go a single moment without touching me.

We hurried through the cold. Me with my coat wrapped tight around me.

As we pushed through the gym door, Uncle Hikaru was coming out. He didn't stop, barely even looked at us. Only muttered, "Behave yourselves," and hopped into the car that we came in.

We'll be riding back with KJ and Hana. Then get only a few hours of sleep before heading straight to the airport. After tonight, it wouldn't surprise me if I slept all the way to America.

But for now, I'm at a dance. And I should have fun.

Though as I walk in, I notice, not too many people are dancing.

I look around and spot my cousin across the filling gym. He's on his platform just as he was at the festival, but he just hangs back, letting music play uninterrupted. I tighten my hand around Bokuto's and head towards the DJ booth, while looking out trying to spot my cousin Hana and trying to avoid Hina.

We make it to the booth and KJ leans over one of his tables, looking down at us.

"Hey, looking good," he shouts over the speakers.

"What are you doing?" I shout back, "You call this a party?"

KJ shakes his head a bit, "Not yet, give it time. Trust me." He stands back up and turns to his laptop.

Hana found me before I could find her, hooking my elbow and pulling me away from the booth.

"Hello dear cousin," She says so matter a factly, "This is the time to socialize. Take pictures and all that jazz. Before KJ gets everyone moving. I'd suggest you find your friends now, once KJ gets them started, I doubt they'll wanna stop."

I shrug, holding tight to Bokuto. "I don't really have friends here. And I'm not even sure if Aimi's here since she knew KJ would be DJing."

"Oh she's here," Hana tilled her head to a wall near the DJ booth, where she stood alone in the red dress Ros made for the Ouran concert earlier this year. Back when KJ was giving her all the attention in the world, instead of ignoring her and he does now, "She'll probably be stuck there all night."

"I can't let her do that," I say taking a small step towards her but I stop when Hana says, "She'd let you."

She's right. Aimi isn't brave and me talking to her isn't going to help her. She wants to be seen as not a nigger lover. At least when Hina is around.

"Besides," Hana smiles, "You won't be making any friends tonight. Not with that dress on. Though Bokuto might lose a few friends."

"What do you mean?" I say looking down at my dress, "What's wrong with my dress."

"Nothing," She smirks, "Nothing at all." She pats Bokuto on the shoulder saying, "Good luck," before disappearing with a passing group.

"Good luck?" He scrunched his face up, questioning her words but she's gone before she could hear him.

I look around to see where she went but my attention is snatched by one of the boys on the team calling out, "Z?"

I turn around seeing one of their middles, a first year who stands an inch taller than Bokuto. I look up to see him and when he looks down to me, I notice his eyes rest a little lower than my face.

"You look great," he mutters, looking me up and down, "Didn't know you could look like that."

"Thanks?" I say, wondering if it's truly a compliment. Then I felt a looming presence behind me. A presence the poor first year didn't sense, while his eyes settled on my breast again.

Bokuto drops his arms around my shoulders covering my chest as he says, "A lap for everytime a catch you staring first year."

His eyes snap up to Bokuto, "Yes captain." And he turns away, making me realize something.

The only people who ever saw me in dolled up before is Akaashi, Bokuto and Aimi. Everyone might have something to say, but it might be a little hard to hear them since KJ is turning the music up as he plays a song that people can't resist dancing to.

Including Bokuto, who drags me out onto the floor. We do as we are supposed to. We dance. Bokuto trying to ignore the looks guys gave me. And me trying to pretend that I haven't found Hina, who stares at me every chance she gets.

When some of the second years from the team join her, talking with non-disgusted looks on their faces, Hina decided to make her move for me.

A group of girls followed her as she stepped to me. No use in trying to ignore her. She sees I see her. She knows. So as she approaches I cross my arms and say. "What?"

She placed a smug smile on her face, "the girls were just talking about that little dress you managed to squeeze yourself into. It's cute and all. Could have sworn I had a dress just like it last year, before Mom made me donate it." She giggles along with the other girls, "nice to see it's getting some use."

"This isn't your old dress," I said shaking my head, "My cousin made this for me."

"Awe, you know. I see it now, very. Homemade." She turns to the girls giggling, but the girls aren't fully laughing with her. They play along because they should, but they know she's reaching now. They can clearly see, that if this dress had a price tag, it would cost more than their homes.

I only shrug and say, "Okay." I turn back to Bokuto.

But she doesn't stop, "I knew your family couldn't really be rich. I mean look at you. And if you were really rich, would your cousin be working the dance? I mean come on."

"The school offered to pay him, I'm on the dance committee. I know," said one of the girls, watching Hina, hoping to please her.

"He didn't accept it," Bokuto answered, "He's just volunteering."

I grab his arm and pull him back to move away with them but still I hear her. Hina when said, "Oh right, but only your cousins are rich. But you on the other hand... well, no wonder you latched yourself to the idiot with the biggest chance of going pro. Probably used some voodoo witchcraft on him uh, because there's no way in Hell he'd pick you over any of us."

Bokuto was stepping to her. Why must he be too strong for me to hold back?

"What the fuck is your problem," he hissed, "You don't like her, fine no one fucking cares but just stop with all this."

"She's not good enough!"

"You weren't good enough," he said, the girls around Hina looking nervous now. "Last year, you weren't good enough. Your third years could have carried you to the win but you, Hina you fucked up again and again and again and then you gave up. Now you're pissed that someone actually is good enough and it's not you." His voice turns to a low cool hiss as he said, "I'll be talking to my coach about you, and your's. You don't seem very fit to be the leader of your own team. Not like this."

He turned back to me and took my hand, gently he tugged me closer kissed me once and then pulled me towards the DJ booth, where the music was louder and Hina didn't follow.

The music was too loud. I couldn't talk to him. Thank him, for standing up for me the way no one else here would.

He just goes back to dancing, like nothings changed. Like nothing matters. Because it shouldn't, it's over. And with him, it truly feels that way. At least for this week that we're away.

KJ and Hana do the same routine as the fall festival. Playing a little live together, then mixing back in the music people all love before KJ takes a break leaving Haba up there to work the crowd.

The moment he steps down from his platform, girls swarm him. Some latch onto his arms, following him as he goes to grab a drink. Aimi watches too. I see the way she steps forward, off the wall as he approaches. I see her mouth open to speak as he passes.

But he doesn't even glance in her direction.

He's living by his words. Treating her as she treated him in public. A nuisance to acknowledge.

So he moves passed with girls who are happy to have his attention in public. They recognize how lucky they are to have his attention.

While Aimi sinks into the wall. Her head dropping again. Eyes to the floor.

Just like how I met her. Weak and afraid.

I tap Bokuto, and he leans down bringing his ear close to my lips. "I'm going to check on Aimi," I shouted into his ear.

He nods but I can see his amber eyes roll again. Here I am, worrying more about her than she does about me. But I don't Give up so easily. Not on people who've actually tried.

We both move through the crowd, he grabs my hand guiding me and once we are free of the sea of dancing bodies. He pulls me closer to say in my ear, "Don't take too long."

He didn't pull away, he turned leaving a kiss on my cheek before placing a hand on my chin, gently grazing my skin to tilt my lips towards me. He knows what he's doing. Every moment of it now. The way he kisses me, building it to a moment that aches for so much more and peeling away leaving me longing. He snaps away towards Akaashi who stands near the punch bowl.

He looks back with a grin, daring, challenging. A smile anyone who ever stood across a net from him has seen. But no one but me has ever seen the questioning glint in his eyes that asks, Should we?

I'm almost tempted to follow him, to forget about Aimi and go with him to see whatever daring challenging has crossed his mind. The answer is probably, we shouldn't, but risk are meant to be taken, right?

No. Not tonight.

I turn away from him and go towards Aimi, who is still holding up the wall and making sure the ground doesn't move. A job that must be done I guess. She doesn't even notice me when I stand next to her.

I lean down to make sure she can hear me when I say, "You know. You can still talk to him."

"He's busy," She shrugs, not looking up.

I look over at my cousin, standing and talking to a group of girls. "Not really. He's just talking, you can too."

"He doesn't want to talk to me."

"How do you know?"

"He doesn't," her head sinks lower.

I can't help but give a little shrug, "Well you didn't want to be seen with him so-"

Now her head rises in her own defense, "I was scared!"

"I'm scared everyday," I admit, "Every day, I'm scared. Like one day I'm just going to walk into that gym and be hung with the fucking net. But I still show up."

"I can't-"

"You won't. Because you don't have to. Which is fine, but no one wants to be a secret," I laugh a little at how ridiculous it seems but tell her, "We literally have to be taught to have pride in ourselves and we expect the people who care about us to have that pride too. It's not that hard to show."

"It is."

"It's not, it's being there. Bokuto does it everyday. People talk but he doesn't care. He's just there. He doesn't even have to say anything," I chuckle a little, "He does, but he doesn't need to. Taking my hand with no shame is enough. I think it would have been enough for Kaoru too."

She says nothing, just looks over to where KJ stands.

I shrug again saying, "You can always try again." And like on cue, a slow song begins to play. People start pairing off and for a moment, I see my cousin glance this way. Just a small glance. A wonder. Before he takes the hand of one of the girls around him and goes to the floor.

"See he-"

"The next move is on you," I tell her, "But you knew that already. You're just too ready to excuse failure." I move from the wall, the moment I see Bokuto heading my way. The moment he's close enough he grabs my hand. I see in our time apart he took his jacket off. Still so sharp. He says to me as we move towards the floor, "I can't stop thinking about how good you look. I swear half my team is running laps the second I get back from looking way too long."

"Leave the boys alone," I laugh.

He turns, grabbing my waist and pulling me close. As close as publicly acceptable. Or maybe closer than publicly acceptable. Though, I'm sure both of us are wishing for a less public sense now.

The dance goes on. Aimi holds the wall. People talk. People stare. People dance. People leave. And we're the last to go. KJ actually had hired help to pack up his gear this time. Fingered that we wouldn't want to haul equipment while all dressed up. And he's right. Typically Bokuto would still help but not this time.

Now he grabs my hand and pulls me towards the suv taking me to the very back seat, while everyone else focuses on loading the van.

He sits back and pulls me close, practically into his lap with his lips crashing to mine, hungry. And I don't pull away. Perhaps just as hungry for this touch as he is. And disappointed when a door opens and we fly apart. Hana looks into the SUV and calls back, "They're in here, let's go."