Chapter 10: Not Today

Aunt Bri dropped us off with the expectation that Bokuto and Akaashi would help me sort through what we've bought today. But the moment Akaashi looked at the pile of bags on the new rug, he turned and said, "I'm not doing this."

Leaving Bokuto and I. Bokuto muttered, "Quiter," but it didn't stop him from leaving.

I shook my head, just saying, "Come on," as I stepped into the room.

It was just as Aunt Bri had sketched. All the furniture was put together and placed, thankfully. Now it's just Bokuto and me to deal with the mountain of bags. I didn't know we bought so much stuff. But it's here now and I'm trying to remember where everything is supposed to go.

I picked up one bag opening it to find the white curtains we picked out. I tossed the bag over to Bokuto saying, "Here, you can hang the curtains." As I moved onto another bag, searching for the sheets to place over my bare mattress. The sheets were white as well, with tiny yellow dots all around, looking like little suns. I smiled as I opened the package, feeling the smoothness of the sheets. Aunt Bri is good. She knows me and she knows what makes me happy.

And now Bokuto's getting to know a little more of me too. Like how I can't rest until a job is done. Mrs. Ito stood in the doorway of my room looking around saying, "It looks nice in here. Why don't you call it a night. It's getting late."

"Almost done, Mrs. Ito." I said, for like the third time tonight.

I could hear Bokuto chuckling behind me. He reassured her saying, "We finishing up Mrs. Ito."

"Alright you two, don't stay up too late. You do have practice in the morning."

"We know," we both said.

She shuffled out of the doorway muttering, "I'm going to sleep."

"Goodnight Mrs. Ito," we both said again.

We really were almost done. Bokuto was cleaning up, picking up bags and empty boxes from the floor, stuffing them all into the biggest box. While I finished up on my bookcase, adding the rest of my manga to the shelf beneath my desk.

Since I actually have a shelf and desk, I was able to finish unpacking. Placing my laptop on the desk, playing music from it. Lauren Hill played softly through the speakers. I don't really play loud music, especially when it's late, but Lauren Hill was always playing in the house when mom was cleaning, and it just felt right.

I bobbed my head singing quietly along. "Killin' me softly with his song," as I added the last few books to the shelf.

Bokuto was done. And now stretched out on the center of the rug with one of the many throw pillows beneath his head.

Since I was already on the floor, I didn't bother to get up. I just crawled to him, sitting beside him.

"I think we're done," I said.

He turned towards me, rolling onto his side, wrapping his arms around my waist and laying his head in my lap.

"Good," muttered as I tried not to flinch at his touch. How is he this comfortable with me? "I'm tired."

I chuckled softly, trying not to move too much, yet trying to relax with Bokuto clung to me like this. "You're the one who wanted to go shopping with a rich kid."

His eyes were closed and his body seemed to pull closer as he said, "I had fun. Your aunt is cool."

"Yeah, she likes you. Don't be surprised if she invites you to her mansion."

"Sweet," he breathed. His warm air hitting my thighs, tickling them slightly.

He was so warm, so close. I felt my whole body getting hot, but he seemed so peaceful. This felt so normal. Like there was no trying here, no awkwardness, just things that happen.

I've always tried to go with the flow, but Bokuto is something different. Wrapped around me like he's known me all his life, and not just 2 weeks.

I shifted, pulling away slightly saying, "It's late. You should go."

He seemed to cuddle in closer, muttering sleepily, "Yeah."

I hadn't realized how tired I was until now. A yawn escaped my mouth before saying, "For real, get up Bokuto." I shook him a little and he sat up beside me. His eyes were still closed as he wrapped himself around me, placing his head on my shoulder.

"I'm up," he mumbled, this time his warm air hitting my neck, sliding down to my collarbone.

I felt my body tense, slightly though he didn't seem to notice. I grabbed his arm that was wrapped around my stomach and pushed it away from me. Freeing myself enough to stand up.

"Go home Bokuto," I muttered, sitting on my bed for the first time. Man it's soft. I didn't sit or lay on it yet because I knew the moment I did, I wouldn't want to get back up.

I laid back on the pile of pillows, eyelids falling heavy.

I heard Bokuto mumble sleepily, "In a minute," before his head fell from my sight.

That was the last thing I heard or saw that night. My eyelids fell and I was soon asleep.

...

"Zara! Zara, Bokuto get up. You'll be late."

I shot up from my bed, seeing Mrs. Ito in the doorway. Then seeing Bokuto's head pop into view from the floor. He sat up rubbing his eyes, then looking around realizing this wasn't his room.

"Shit," he muttered softly, "What time is it?"

"6:30! Get a move on it. You'll be late!" Mrs. Ito informed before disappearing from the doorway.

Bokuto shot up running out of the room and out of the house. I shot up running to my dresser to grab some shorts and a t-shirt. I closed my door, quickly changing and throwing on sweatpants over top of my shorts before rushing to the bathroom. To handle my business in about 3 minutes.

Pulled my hoodie on, grabbed my bag, and the shoelace I use to hold my hair in a puff.

I rushed out the door, wrapping the shoelace around my hair, pulling to gather the hair into the puff, then tying it. Bokuto was already in front of the house with two bikes. The ones he picked out yesterday. He didn't even bother putting on sweats, but his shorts and t-shirt. His hair was flopped down, and pushed back as much as he could keep it, the white mixing in with the black as the hair fell where it chose.

He seemed more calm with it down. His eyes rang with enjoyment rather than a challenge. Even as he said, "My coach is gonna kill me," he smiled. Smiled as if it were thrilling, as if it were worth it. He mounted his bike, kicking off saying, "Come on Baby Bird!"

And as crazy as it seemed. I cracked a smile too. He is contagious. I mounted my bike and petaled after him, in a race with time. One I'm praying to win. Not that I'm scared of the coach persay, but I wouldn't hear the end of it from my teammates.

So we rode, as fast as these wheels would let us. The crisp wind of the summer morning whipping past us, chilling my ears. And just like when we run, just like when we do everything, I am just a moment behind Bokuto. I wonder what it would feel like to rise above him, just once.

But not today.

Bokuto stopped his bike with a skid outside the gyms. I let mine roll as I kicked my leg over, stepping down and walking it to a stop. He looked at his phone, then beamed, "Hey, hey, hey, we made it!" He ran for his gym waving, "See you later."

I waved then ran into my gym. The moment I was in the gym, I was kicking off my shoes to replace them with my court shoes.

"Of course you're the last one here," someone called out.

I didn't even bother to look up to see who. I just tied my shoes and ran over to join them stretching. This time, I knew who was talking. With white haired captain with her ponytail pulled too tight. She sat on the floor, bending over saying, "Well you know what they say, Black people are always late." Her eyes flicked up to me as a few teammates laughed. "What's it called again? Colored people time, right?"

I said nothing. I just stood and stretched, and let go of any of the joy I had this weekend, or this morning. These people don't deserve to see me happy. They don't deserve anything from me. So I don't talk, I don't show emotion. But I don't let it affect my playing. If anything it fueled it. Feeling like I have to prove I belong here. I wish I didn't feel that way. But right now, I wish more for this to be over. Try again tomorrow. I keep thinking they'll like me if they see me as useful.

At this point I would just say fuck them. But volleyball's a sport you can't play alone. The truth is, I need them. I need a team. And they didn't need another player. They didn't need me. They made it to the final tournament last year. Lost in the first round, but made it. They're good enough. But the coach says they'll be better with me. She really thinks we can go all the way to the top.

That is, if we first learn to play nice with each other.

The setter is setting high enough for me to get a full swing on the ball. Not high enough to my likely. But I get a little wiggle room when it comes to the moves I want to make. I've been practicing my cross courts, getting myself comfortable with hitting farther into the court. Trying to find the right combinations to get the ball close to the line, but in, without sacrificing power. Like Bokuto had said. Not all of them were in. And our captain, who is undoubtable amazing at receiving shouted, "Why don't you try getting them in the court Skyscraper."

This is practice, I'm working on it. But I don't say anything. I just nod. She was far back in the court, awaiting my cross court swing, but instead I went for my straight down. A comfortable shot, that is always in the court. Just like she wanted right. Way too far up for her to get to, but she dove for it anyway. Dedicated. I give her that. Her eyes shot up to me, furious, narrow and solid as she stared at me. Still, I gave off nothing. I just ducked under the net, and turned my back to her. Coach said to work on my blocks.

I think it's safe to say that at least half the team was pissed today. I got my hands on just about spike. I feel the tension, fuming around me as we circled around the coach. My eyes stayed on the coach. Only her. Though I felt the eyes of the team beaming at me, sharp glances cutting into my skin. It burned, it hurt as I fought back the thoughts of insecurities that I've carried with me from overseas. I thought I could leave them when I boarded that plane. Thought I could leave them in the polished pink walls of Ouran. But here they are. With me again. Wondering why can never be enough.

I felt my face warming. Felt the tears that wanted to fall. But I couldn't let them. I won't give them the satisfaction of seeing me cry. Not for them. They get nothing from me. Not until I stop being their excuses, their inconveniences, their stereotypes. I still want to be a member on their team. But they're forcing me to be the monster they've created in their heads. They all painted a picture of me the moment they saw me. And they refuse to see anything else, besides what's on their canvas. Because if they do, then that would mean they were wrong.

And of course, they can't be that.

"Alright girls, nice job today. I'd like to see a little more communication on the court please, because... " The coach paused before excitedly saying, "We have our Nekuma practice match this Friday!"

The team started muttering to each other around me but I kept my eyes in the coach, wishing she would just get this over with.

"This is our last week before school starts back. I want it to end on a good note, so practice hard this week and let's beat those cats!"

The team cheered and I just nodded.

"Okay, get this gym cleaned."

I was the first to turn, rushing towards the net to start taking it down. The coach followed me as the rest of the team scattered to get the gym cleaned up. She helped me untie the net from one of the poles, talking softly, "You didn't seem too excited for our match. I know you got to play the Nekuma boys already, and it might not be as flashy as that. But this is your first time playing with your own team. You should be happy."

I forced a small smile to my face, saying in a voice, quieter than I thought it would be, "I am. Just a little nervous that's all."

She watched me carefully. She didn't seem to be buying it. But she also doesn't seem to understand that this is not my team. They won't let it be. No matter how much she wants it.

She smiled back, but it was weak as she said, "Why don't you head over to the other gym. Go learn some new tricks to surprise us all."

I nodded. My forced smile seemed a little more real now. Knowing that I can get away from this. Get away from them.

I turned, snatching my things and running from the gym. I practically flew into the boys gym. Longing the feeling of acceptance. The moment I was in the coach shouted, "Z, get on the court. I want to try something!"

I'm useful here. I'm wanted here. And here I can smile.

"Yes coach," I said running onto the court, taking my place at the net beside Bokuto.

The coach was in the center of the court and on the other side of the net was the backup setter, their actual middle blocker and another wing spiker. "Seeing Z and Bokuto during the Nekuma match reminded me of this play. It's a stack. It's not a hard play to make, but can easily throw off the timing of the blockers. And in our case, throw off the receive as well. Hopefully. Middle blockers, you'll be coming in for a quick. Wing spikers, you'll be coming in for a normal attack but you will be placing yourself right behind the middle blocker. The other team won't know which player will hit the ball, and if we can get all of our middles to hit straight downs like Z. Then the receivers won't know to go deep or stay close. We got that?"

We all nodded.

"We'll practice doing it first, then practice on the defence in case someone wants to use this against us. No play is undefendable. If we learn to use a tool, we have to learn to stop it as well."

"Yes coach," We all said.

The coach was going back to his chair and everyone started to go to their places, but Bokuto stepped closer to me from behind me. I felt his finger tips, brush against my arm as if he wanted to reach for my hand, but could find no reason to.

His voice was soft and gentle as he asked, "What's wrong?"

The one who can read me. The one always watching and always caring. Of course he notices that the gloss in my eyes haven't left yet. That the smile on my face was still warming up from the hours of being gone. "I'll tell you later." I said softly, before moving to my spot.

Bokuto did the same. This is the first time I really looked at him since I came in here. He ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it out of his face, before bending over, dropping his hands to his knees saying, "Ready," to Akaashi. His eyes slid over to me, watching him and he gave a wink, smiling just before the first ball went up.

I went in for my quick, jumping right at the net, swinging at nothing since the first ball was sent to Bokuto who jumped just a half second after me.

"Nice," the coach called out, "Alright, other side go."

We went on practicing this under everyone got a good grip on the timing and placements. Then we went on trying to block it and receive it. Blocking for me and Bokuto though. Trying different strategies and keeping an eye on the setter. Each side alternated every couple of plays, from hitting to receiving.

It was our turn to receive and considering that I just got the ball three times in a row, I was pretty sure that Akaashi wasn't sending it my way. So I slacked on my approach a bit, which was a bad idea because, surprise, Akaashi sent the ball to me again!

I made my jump, but it wasn't nearly as high as my normal jump. I fumbled a bit on the approach and had to reach for the ball, leaning my body to the left to catch up with it, just getting my fingers on the ball to tip it over the net. Man that was sloppy. But not as sloppy as my landing. I landed on one foot due to having to stretch so far left. And I barely even landed on that foot. My foot slid to the side, landed more on my ankle than anything, with my right leg kicked out trying to find some balance but losing this battle with gravity.

I felt an arm wrap around my waist, pulling me up right yet also pulling me in, feeling my backside pressed to his solid and warm body. He leaned over laughing a bit asking, "You okay," his white tips dangling on my shoulder, still holding me so close, but I'm up.

I spun out of his arms, facing him now but taking a few steps back. "Yeah, I'm fine." My arms crossed around my waist, where he just held me. And he smiled, dropping his head a little, letting the hair flop forward. He bite his lower lip, as if wanting to say something but holding back. Dare I say he looked cute. Damn you Bokuto, and bless this dark skin that hides minor blushing.

"Alright, let's call it a day," The coach said.

"Yes coach," We all said, but Bokuto still had his eyes on me, and I still had my eyes on him.

He finally pushed his hair out of his face again, only for a few pieces to dangle beside his amber eyes, "Didn't hurt yourself, did you?"

"No, I'm good." I said, and I was. Before my ankle could entirely twist, Bokuto had already scooped me up.

"Bokuto," The coach shouted, but still he looked at me as he responded, "Yeah coach?"

"Lock up when you're done flirting alright."

"Yeah coach," he laughed, along with a few chuckles from the team. Bless the dark skin that hides minor blushing. Finally taking his eyes off me, "Come on, We're on sweeping duty today."

Sweeping duty meant waiting for everyone else to be done running around the floor so we could sweep. Akaashi was the last to go, muttering to Bokuto, "Next time you decide to have a sleepover, bring your hair gel. You've been playing in your hair all day, it's a little distracting."

Bokuto shout whispered, "I told you not to say anything!"

I had almost forgotten about that. Between the almost late and the stupid team, I forgot that a boy slept in my room last night. I'm so dead if my mom finds out.

Akaashi waved Bokuto off saying, "Whatever. Just keep your hands out of your hair tomorrow." And with that he was gone.

I shook my head and started pushing the dust mop across the floor, "You told Akaashi you slept over?"

"He guessed," Bokuto said, pushing his dust mop beside me, "The guys kind of a genius."

We made our way around the gym, moving in smaller circles at each lap. "Yeah, weren't you supposed to go home last night?"

"I fell asleep."

"Yeah, well if my mom finds out, I'm on the next plane out of here."

"Why? Nothing happened." Said, seriously not seeing any issues here.

"Doesn't matter. You're a boy."

He leaned on the handle of his dust mop asking, "Well isn't your Aunt Bri in charge of you over here?"

I nodded and he smiled saying, "Well then, there's nothing to worry about. You said it yourself, she likes me."

So confident. Doesn't seem as cocky though with his hair not making him 4 inches taller.

"So what happened at practice today?" He asked.

He seemed so casual about everything, so I tried to seem casual too when I said, "I think my captain might be a little racist."

"What? Hina?"

I snapped, "That's her name. She never even told me."

Bokuto's eyes seemed shocked as he asked, "What makes you think she's racist?"

I shrugged a little, "I said just a little bit. I don't really like throwing the word out there, but she's hated me from like day one, and today she was talking about 'oh Black people are always late,' and 'Colored people time,' and she just takes every opportunity to get to me."

"What do you say?" He said, leaning deep into the handle of his dust mop.

I shrugged a little again saying, "Nothing. She's trying to get a reaction out of me. But I won't let her."

"You should -"

He started but I cut him off saying, "Don't say anything Bokuto. Yeah, she's a crappy person but she's really good. And if I want to play as many games as I can this year, I'm going to need her on the court with me. Getting her benched or suspended is not going to help me or the rest of the team."

"But-"

"Bokuto?"

"Fine," he grunted, pushing his dust mop again.

I win. Ha. Then a smile slipped to my face as I announced, "We play Nekuma on Friday."

I couldn't see him smiling but I knew he was as he said softer than he normally does, "Hey, hey, hey."