CHAPTER 40: A Promise Never Broken

A/N: Hey everyone!! A very happy new year! (In advance -)(^^;)dAnyway, consider this chapter a New Year's gift~ 🤎💙

A WHILE LATER, AT NARUTO'S APARTMENT~

Water from the shower poured down on Naruto as he stood in the washroom, washing himself up distractedly. The source of his distraction was none other than Sasuke. With the memory of all that had happened still fresh in his mind, Naruto tried soothing his inner turmoil with the bath, which, however, wasn't proving to be as effective as he would have liked.

Naruto was unable to stop the anger within him, that which he had been suppressing earlier for Sasuke and his family's sake, from resurfacing. It was rising from the pit of the tumultuous emotions inside him , but with an intensity that made it hard for the blonde to breathe.

The horrendous truths of Sasuke's past that the blonde had recently discovered in the raven's journal refused to leave him, making him remember those vivid descriptions of those torturous nights Sasuke had endured. Alone.

"Dammit... why couldn't I see it?"

Naruto muttered, his teeth gritted as he banged his fist against the nearest wall in frustration. He was panting from the effort of holding himself back from punching a hole in the wall.

"Fugaku... you'll pay for it... Just you wait, dattebayo."

For once, Naruto wasn't holding back on any of his thoughts. His self-loathing and rage were evolving into a shield of determination. His blood boiled with renewed fury and passion, just like the fierce sun, determined to burn Fugaku down while also protecting Sasuke, who had started to become the very essence of his life, his sanity.

"That's right, dattebayo. I'm not gonna mess up again. This time... I'll love you properly, the way you deserve."

Naruto spoke while looking at himself in the mirror as he now stood before it, already out of the shower. He smiled at himself slightly, a gesture he made to motivate himself for something big and important.

However, there was one fact that Naruto had overlooked in all of this: every ounce of his thoughts was exposing the depths of his love for Sasuke to his subconscious.

And that was dangerous, for the darkest depths of his mind were the very lair of his inner demons, ruled by the illusion of the only man he'd managed to love before Sasuke: Sai. And they... had never failed to ruin even the strongest resolutions of the blonde.

This time was no exception as they reached out to him yet again. The dull ache in his heart began soon enough. It was his guilt that was stabbing away at him, his demons that were screaming with all their vigour before the deceptively sweet voice of Sai emerged from the chaos, ringing in his head with a warning of an impending omen.

'I see you've been feeling a bit too much towards that Sasuke, Naruto.'

*THUMP

Naruto was caught off guard for a moment, stilling right before the mirror. His heart roared at the signs with fear, his breaths threatening to pick pace.

'He's... here.'

The blonde knew this day was coming, but he hadn't expected it to arrive so early. He had imagined various scenarios in his head to deal with his subconscious, but never did he prepare for his inner demons to strike at him with such suddenness.

But then again, it wasn't like Naruto could avoid it all his life. And if it was fated to happen now, then so be it. The blonde wasn't going to put it off anymore. He knew that there was no stalling it for the stakes had just risen. It wasn't only his freedom that he would lose if he lost Sai (or his subconscious), but also Sasuke.

Hence, there was only one conclusion he could draw from all the brainstorming he had done previously: he couldn't lose to Sai.

'It's you who started it, but now, it's time I finish it, dattebayo.'

The blonde slowly regained his composure, preparing himself not to fight this battle but to win it.

He can't make the same mistake he did in the past. He had already lost Sasuke once, and he wasn't interested in losing him again.

Even if it meant facing his ominous depths head-on.

Naruto closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath to steel himself for this war against himself, against his fears, and against his guilt.

His eyes shot open as he looked at the mirror, this time seeing Sai's reflection instead of his own. He smirked at the pale man his mind was making him see in the mirror.

"I've been waiting for you, Sai."

The boy in the mirror passed a similar smirk to the blonde, the only difference being the disdain behind Sai's, which was absent in Naruto's.

'Is that so? Though I gotta say, great job breaking your promise with me.'

Sai's voice wasn't gentle anymore. It was harsh and dripping with sarcasm, which only amused Naruto, fueling his desire to win.

"Straight to the point today, are we? Good, I don't have much time to deal with you anyway."

The blonde didn't hold back either, shocking himself along with Sai. He knew exactly what he was doing, and watching Sai's expression change only proved that it was working.

Sai scoffed, his face contorted with anger that was rising by the minute. However, this Sai in the mirror knew Naruto well. He knew exactly what could tick him off, and so he laid a trap, or tried to, to lead Naruto into a corner in his mind without an escape.

'Oh yeah? And what's keeping you busy? Your Sasuke?'

"Yes."

Was Naruto's unexpectedly confident answer, which, for the first time, managed to catch Sai off guard, unlike the several times Sai had done so to Naruto. The blonde was gaining an upper hand on his subconscious quickly, and Sai had to do something about it fast. So, he continued.

'Oh... so he's become more important than me now. Some loyalty you have towards me, Naruto-kun.'

Naruto could feel his heart sink only slightly at the accusations, but he didn't let the guilt overpower him because someone more important than his own demons was waiting for him.

The blonde laughed bitterly, his raspy voice echoing in the silent washroom. He looked Sai right in the eye, knowing that his next words would turn the tables drastically. His heart beat at a frantic pace because what he was about to say would bring a crack to this Sai, whom he had grown so used to seeing.

He was afraid of losing this mental manifestation, the pool of guilt enlarging in his stomach. He almost questioned his decision to say those words because he couldn't bear the thought of hurting Sai yet again, as if out of habit.

However, he then remembered Sasuke and all the times the raven had suffered just because Naruto was too busy caring about Sai, getting nothing but pain in return.

And that was all the motivation Naruto needed to say it. If not for himself, then for Sasuke.

"Well, well, aren't you getting a little too comfortable bullying me with this face... Naruto?"

The blonde said, directly addressing his inner demons that were hiding right behind Sai's mask. His words were not meant for Sai this time. They were meant for the self that was currently trying to cage Naruto in his mind by coming alive in the form of an illusionary Sai.

And, undoubtedly, they worked their magic, causing Sai's image in the mirror to crack, revealing a hint of himself behind the pale boy.

'What are you talking a- about? I'm simply trying to make you stay true to your promise and to the person you love.'

The blonde had always listened to Sai, but today, he stood against him. His eyes never left the mirror.

"Is that right? Or are you just trying to trap me in my own guilt, Naruto?"

The blonde deliberately took his name again to make Sai's illusion crack some more, which it did, causing Sai to let out a pained yelp, his hands roaming over his newly formed ruptures frantically.

'Ah! N- Naruto! Can't you see?! It's me! Sai! Your lover! You love 'me'! You promised me-'

"NO! YOU'RE NOT SAI! You're Naruto... you're... me."

The hurt and frustration in Naruto's voice made Sai flinch, his figment cracking some more, along with his bravado. Sai hurriedly tried to hold himself together, covering whatever fissures he could with his hands as he spoke desperately:

'Nnh-! N- Naruto... you're hurting me by saying that... what are you trying to do b- by all this? Are you... are you trying to kill me again? You've murdered me o- once; wasn't that e- enough? Are my memories so p- painful that you want to do away with me?'

Sai's voice trembled as he made an attempt to stop Naruto from what he was doing, making the blonde's heart ache with a familiar pain he knew all too well. His guilt was dangerously close to taking over him, as it always had whenever Sai's death came up.

Gulping the guilt down, rendering himself free of responsibility was a pain worse than self-loathing. It was this pain that had stopped him from escaping the jails of his own creation because, back then, he was too afraid to face it.

However, this time, he had someone he wanted to protect with his life.

So he gulped it down along with the lump that had formed in his throat as he spoke with a choked voice.

"Naruto, I... I'm not trying to kill Sai again, dattebayo. I'm simply... trying to heal for the man I, no, we love now."

The blonde kept addressing the illusion as himself, causing the cracks in the mirage of Sai to deepen with his words. However, the pain that had earlier followed every crack was diminishing, both for Sai and Naruto.

'You love...? B-but what about me? And what about our promise?'

A tear that had been in the making for a long while finally managed to fall from Naruto's eye as he stepped closer to the mirror, to Sai's rupturing apparition. He remained silent, and instead of answering the questions, he placed the palm of his hand on the mirror, nodding at Sai, silently asking him to do the same.

'W- Why should I trust you? You're breaking your promise! A- and you... you love someone else now... after killing me...'

Sai's voice came out soft and fragile as he hugged his fissures tighter. He didn't want to fade from Naruto's mind... or perhaps it was a part of Naruto's mind that didn't want Sai to fade.

"Naruto... I never broke our promise. We loved him when he was around... and until his very last breath... we were by his side. We didn't break a promise. We've already... kept the promise we made."

The blonde's words made Sai's eyes widen, his grip around himself loosening just by a fraction. However, his panic did not subside as more cracks appeared on his body, causing fragments of him to fade away.

'B-but I'm scared... what if I... what if I fade away? What if you forget about me...?'

A soft, trembling sigh escaped Naruto's lips as another set of tears managed to fall from his eyes. He could see the 'Sai' in his mind fading, giving way to the 'Naruto' behind it.

"That won't happen, Naruto. Letting go of Sai doesn't mean we forget about him, dattebayo. We're simply going to keep him in our memories, where it will be less painful to remember him."

A small, reassuring smile graces Naruto's lips as he points at his palm, which is still placed against the mirror with his eyes.

Sai's (or whatever remains of him) hands reluctantly drop from over the cracks on him, no longer trying to hold his breaking form together as he shakily places his palm against Naruto's from the other side of the mirror.

Naruto's grin widens a little, and this time, he addressed the rupturing mirage of Sai as Sai instead of himself, knowing that this was the last time he could do so.

"Sai... I'm going to go to Sasuke after this. And I'm going to stay with him. Forever, dattebayo. But I need you to know... that you and I... we're a story that has already happened. There's no erasing what's already happened, and there's no stopping what shall come. Regardless of that, you... will always be a part of my story, just like I'll be a part of yours. You're a part of me that I'll always cherish... and to cherish you, I'll have to let you go."

Naruto looked at the ebony eyes of Sai, which were now starting to become translucent. He could see himself clearer in the mirror, right through Sai, who was slowly starting to accept his fate.

He nodded understandingly, despite his eyes exposing the uncertainty behind it, causing Naruto's breath to shudder.

The blonde closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, steadying himself to say the words that were long overdue... the words that would hurt when spoken, and yet, they would lift a weight so heavy. The words that could have set Naruto free a long time ago. The words that were now about to set the blonde free.

"Goodbye, Sai."

A/N: And, this was it! ＼(*^^*)／I really, really, hope you all liked this chapter because, honestly, it was very difficult to write. I don't know if I was able to show it clearly... do tell me if you all got what I was trying to write 🥲Also, in case it wasn't clear, I've been addressing Naruto's subconsciousness and Naruto's consciousness as two different beings, his subconsciousness appearing in the form of Sai.(^^)dAnyway, see you all in the next chapter!Author sound out~ ✌🏻