CHAPTER 8: Inner Demons ⚠️

A/N: ⚠️ WARNING! This chapter will contain content that might be disturbing. I will again put a warning sign before the thing actually starts and one when it ends. It contains a few parts of the story, but you may skip it as they will be discussed in further chapters.Enjoy~

LATER THAT EVENING ~

"So are you gonna tell me about this emo boy or not?"

Shikamaru spoke after patiently waiting for the past 30 minutes for Naruto to speak up. They were sitting on an obviously orange couch in Naruto's living room, with cans of beer spread across a mini table in front of them. The room was dimly lit as the fire burned in the fireplace just across the table.

Naruto hadn't responded to Shikamaru, who then looked at Naruto with side eyes while sipping on his third can, only to see the drunk blond daydreaming and drooling.

"Oi, is somebody in here?"

Shikamaru knocked on the side of Naruto's forehead as if it were a door, snapping Naruto out of his trance.

"Huh?"

"*sigh* I told you to drink moderately. Look at your state. Geez, what a drag..."

Shikamaru took the can from Naruto's hands.

"Oh...hehe..."

Naruto wiped his drool and decided to switch to water. He was good at handling his alcohol but had already chugged 5 cans. He took a deep breath and finally chose to let his best friend in on his current issues.

"Well, you see, there is this boy in Kiba's class, Sasuke. He's got black hair, like jet black hair, pale skin, and beautiful black eyes..."

"*sigh* I've heard this five times already, Naruto. You need to move on from black hair and eyes, okay? Also, stop zoning out."

"O-Oh, sorry, my bad. In any case, when I first saw him, I knew he that he was the 'I am the King, bow down to me' type of guy, because he was shouted on a pretty girl who was confessing to him!! He is the only one who has ever stood up against me in that school, dattebayo! Me!! Whom nobody dared to mess with! Not to mention, he is not only my junior, but also my student!"

Naruto ranted with exaggerated hand actions as Shikamaru listened to him without interrupting.

"Ugh! He is so irritating! All he ever says is 'hn'. Seriously?! Anyways, he is the most annoying little shit I've ever come across in my life."

"Why do you even pay attention to such a dick? It sounds like a drag."

Shikamaru wasn't actually confused. He knew exactly what this all was about. However, he decided to let Naruto continue.

"I know, right? I don't have to chase after him, and he doesn't treat me like a friend either. But you know what, Shika? I want to make friends with him. I don't know why, but something in me tells me to take care of him. I want to help him. I want him to rely on me. I don't want to be just a sensei to him. I want to be more, maybe like a brother."

'You've already bro-zoned him, huh...'

Shikamaru sighed inwardly.

"What a drag... Anyways, how are you planning to approach him then?"

"Oh, about that, I asked him to eat lunch together every day, and guess what? He actually agreed! He is almost antisocial, dattebayo!"

'NOW YOU'RE ASKING YOUR WANNA-MAKE-BROTHER ON A DATE?! THAT TOO EVERY FUCKING DAY??'

Shikamaru's eye brow twitched in frustration, but this went unnoticed by Naruto. Realizing that Naruto wasn't aware of the reality of his thoughts, Shikamaru took the chance and went straight down to business.

"Naruto... why do you want to be friends with him?"

"Huh? I just told you, I feel protective towards him, but I don't know why-"

"You know exactly why."

He interrupted Naruto for the first time. Naruto's smile faltered as he furrowed his eye brows in confusion.

"What do you mean I know?"

"Naruto, sometimes you forget that you aren't as dumb as you look."

"Hey! That's mean!"

"What a drag... Ok, fine. I'll be honest about it. Is it because of Sai?"

"Huh, what is?"

"Your attraction towards that emo boy, is it because he looks like Sai?"

"..."

Naruto didn't know what to say to that.

'Is it really because of Sai? Well, Sasuke does resemble him in many ways...'

"It is about Sai, isn't it? Look buddy, Sasuke isn't Sai, and what happened back then wasn't your fault ok?"

"But it was! It's all my fault! If only..."

"It wasn't, Naruto. It's been three years. Get over it already."

"It's easier said than done, Shika..."

The topic had already taken a turn for the worse, and Shikamaru knew it. Talking about Sai after his death had never been easy for Naruto.

He had continuously blamed himself for the death of his lover. Self blame was not something Naruto could handle. He was the brightest ball of sunshine who wished for the world to love him. And the world did. He was just that type of a person. But there was only one person who didn't love him. He himself.

Tears were already rolling down his face as he tried to stifle his sobs. His heart was beating faster by the second as he remembered what had happened on that winter night three years ago. All his memories were flashing in front of his eyes, quickening his breath. His drunken state was not helping either.

'Sai, I am sorry. I should have taken better care of you. I am so dumb... I am so sorry *sobs*I- I- It's suffocating... I can't breathe!'

"-uto! NARUTO!! CALM DOWN! NARUTO!"

Shikamaru shouted his name multiple times, snapping Naruto back from his thoughts. He was hyperventilating. His breaths were short and fast, which was not a good sign.

'No no no no! Not now, please!'

Shikamaru was worried about his best friend. He knew that Naruto will soon lose it. He wasn't ready to handle him at the moment. They both were drunk.

~●~●~●~ ⚠️ NARUTO'S POV~

I hate this. I hate how useless I am. I hate myself. Sai, I am sorry... I am the reason you're not here with us anymore...

"Sorrys don't solve shit Naruto, you know that,"

I know this voice...

I looked around frantically in search of the source of this familiar voice when I spotted a silhouette standing few steps away from me. I trailed my eyes up his body and saw that the person standing there was...

Me?!

"Yes, I am you. I am the darkest version of you that you wanna keep hidden in the deepest part of your mind, Naruto."

I know, I know damn it!

"Look what you made me do. Do you see what's on my hands?"

He held out his hands for me to see and they were all smothered with a red fluid.

I don't see it. I don't want to see it.

"Stop lying to yourself! How can you unsee this?! This is Sai's blood! It's on my hands! It's on your hands too! It's because of you!"

I looked at my hands and they were red, just like his.

What the hell?! Where did this come from?

"It's all your fault! You murdered Sai! You're a murderer! I hate you!!"

"Stop..."

I said under my ragged breaths, but I didn't know if it was just in my head. But I needed him, no, 'me', to stop.

I don't need you to tell me, stop...

"Sai is dead because of you! It would have been so much better if he hadn't met you in the first place!"

"STOP IT! It's not my fault..."

"WHAT?! How dare you say that it's not your fault?!"

Suddenly I felt a pair of hands snake around my throat. I was being choked by another 'me' who was now on top of me.

"You mean you played no part in Sai's death? Yeah, right, you can't play parts when you are the cause, Naru chan~"

What should I do? I want get away from here. Someone, please take me away...

"You want run away from your sins? Come with me... I'll take you away, hell awaits you, Naruto. You are hated by all! Nobody wants you here! Why don't you just die?"

My other clone gave a sadistic smile as I panted and clawed desperately at the hands of the other that were on my throat.

I don't- I don't wanna die! This feeling, it's so suffocating... I'll faint if this keeps up... L- Let me go...*coughs*

My lungs were aching due to a lack of oxygen. My mind was hazy, and my sight was dimming. I was trying to take in all the air I could, but it wasn't working. My limbs were going numb.

"Look me in the eye, Naruto... Look at me!! Don't try to hide from me. One day, you will eventually accept me as a part of you and show your true colors. Then nobody will love you! You don't deserve to be loved!"

I know, SHUT UP!!

"You are a worthless animal that kills those he loves."

No... NO! NO! NO!! I LOVE HIM! STILL LOVE HIM! I CAN'T KILL HIM! I didn't...

"You are a disappointment to your family, a heavy burden on this earth."

N- No...

"Don't deny it. You know I am speaking the truth. You know you shouldn't have been born. Everyone was better off without you."

Stop already... JUST KILL ME ALREADY!!

"How dare you live your life so happily?"

The grip around my throat began to tighten. Tears continuously rolled down my face as I was no longer able to breathe. I gasped at the sudden pressure on my throat but soon stopped struggling.

There's no point in it.

"How dare you breathe...?"

He is right. How dare I?

The movement of my chest had stopped long back as I forbade myself to breathe any further.

I feel sleepy...

I let myself fall into the endless pit as I closed my eyes. There was no turning back now.

I deserve it...

...

I felt a slight prick in my right arm, which caused me to snap out of it.

*Gasps*

I gasped loudly to compensate my lungs with air and took deep breaths. My chest was heaving when I shot my eyes open to see a figure with red hair standing with their back towards me.

Okasan...

That was the last sight I saw as I let myself slip into a deep sleep.

~●~●~●~ ⚠️ ends(This is for changing POV, btw)

Uzumaki Kushina was sitting on her knees beside her son, gently stroking his hair as she watched him sleep. Shikamaru had called her and informed her about the situation almost as soon as Naruto had tuned him out.

Kushina had come running, leaving all her work files on her desk. She had immediately given Naruto a shot of SGB* upon seeing her son choking himself and kicking his feet in every direction. The sight shocked her, and it pained her to see her sunshine of a son in such a state.

"Thanks, Shikamaru. You saved him once again, dattebane..."

Kushina barely managed to get the words out of her. The lump in her throat felt heavy.

Shikamaru, who was standing by the sofa on which Naruto laid, drifted his eyes from Naruto to his mother and said,

"No problem. It might not be my place to say this, but this shouldn't go on any longer. He needs therapy as soon as possible, or I am afraid he might..."

"Don't worry, Shika. My son is not so weak. He will overcome it, I know. As for the therapy, I have tried to talk to him about that, but he didn't listen. But I will have to talk to him again, I guess."

Kushina replied, as she had now regained her composure. She stood up with a grunt and looked at Shikamaru. Her cheeks were wet due to the tears that she couldn't control, and her eyes glistened with more that were waiting to be shed.

"Just what ticked him off this time?"

Kushina asked with a strained voice.

"I... I am sorry, it's my mistake."

Shikamaru felt the guilt consuming him. He just wanted to have a chat with his best friend. He wanted to help him, not make him feel this way.

'I am sorry, Naruto.'

Shikamaru was brought back to reality as Kushina patted him on the shoulder. He looked up to see her giving him a sad yet relieved smile.

"I am glad Naruto has a friend like you. Please don't leave his side."

She said and decided to get a pair of blankets and pillows for her son and herself. She had planned to spend the night taking care of Naruto.

Shikamaru could only nod at that, as words felt heavy in his mouth. Without speaking further, he slowly stepped out of the house and closed the door behind him.

As he walked towards his car, a single tear rolled down his cheek, which he quickly wiped away.

'What a drag...'

A/N: And here it is! Another chapter finished. I hope you liked this one as well.I know I know but trust me, I am not a sadist for the main characters. I want them to have a happy ending (maybe)┐('～';)┌Anyways, please tell me in the comments if you want me to add smut in the story because it will be my first time writing it so you all will have to bear with it. 😅Phew~ Ok, so please vote, comment, and follow if you like it🥹 See you in the next chapter!Author sound out~ ✌🏻