Chapter 121 The One That Got Away

Only connect (...) and human love will be seen at its height.

-Howard's end

Emma

There's an interesting development in the tunnels. When I think back on it, it started when we returned with Finn. Or maybe it had been brewing longer, I can't be sure.

I'm not sure how I feel about it either, which is strange. It shouldn't matter to me. Nate doesn't seem to think it a problem.

I walk into the kitchen and stumble on a battlefield. The counter is covered in flour, as is the floor. Blake and Sophie are busy rolling out dough. At least, Sophie is trying to. Blake is throwing flour at her.

Which explains why the kitchen is covered in it.

Sophie is giggling at Blake's childish behavior. Blake has a stupid grin on his face.

I roll my eyes and walk to the far end of the kitchen where Finn is sitting at a table. He is drawing a picture with my colored pencils, which I told him he could borrow. He doesn't look up when I sit down next to him, but continues drawing.

I glance at the picture and frown. The scene looks familiar and unfamiliar at the same time and it takes me a while before I realize what I'm looking at. "That's Burns," I say surprised.

Now Finn does look at me. "That wasn't his name then," the boy says, "this is him on the Ice Planet, so his name is Blue Ice Finder."

I nod. Of course it was. The Bear is exactly how Burns has described it, but I remember the Fire Taster I once drew wasn't as Burns remembered it, despite his description of it. I wonder how this Bear compares.

The background of the picture is filled with ragged shapes that I suppose are ice crystals. "You should show Burns," I say.

"He's not here," Finn answers.

I smile. "I mean when he comes for dinner."

Finn shakes his head. "I don't think he'll be here for dinner."

"What makes you say that?" I ask confused.

Finn shrugs. "He went out with Arashi. I saw 'em leave. Are they gonna get food again? Can they bring back some gummi worms? My mom said she used to eat them all the time, but not since the monsters came here. Have you had gummi worms before? Are they any good?"

"He left the hide-out?" I ask startled. Why? And why did he not tell me? Where did they go?

Sophie's giggles have turned into a shaper laughter with squeaky screams in between and it suddenly gets on my nerves. "Could you cut it out?!" I yell at her.

Her face falls and she stares at me startled.

"Take it easy will you," Blake growls at me, "don't shout at her."

Him standing up for her irritates me even more. "Go to hell!" I shout and I storm out of the kitchen.

I can just hear Blake's muttered 'I'll go' before turning the corner. He catches up with me at the end of the tunnel. "Mind telling me what's wrong?"

"Why would something be wrong?" I huff.

Blake grabs my shoulders and turns me towards him. "Wanna try that again?"

I grit my teeth. "Burns left."

Blake blinks confused. "Left? What do you mean, left? Did you two fight? I didn't know Souls argued."

"He went somewhere with Arashi. He didn't tell me he was leaving. Where did he go?"

"I don't know, squirky," Blake says, "but he will come back. He wouldn't leave you behind."

I take a few deep breaths. The rational side of me knows he is right. That doesn't explain why he wouldn't tell me. "But he's with Arashi," I say doubtful, "Arashi doesn't like us."

Blake rolls his eyes. "I told you not to take Arashi's behavior personal. Trust me, if he's with Arashi, he's as safe as he can be. Arashi will make sure he returns safely." He glances at me. "You know, there will be times Burns goes on raids without you. You need to learn to trust others with his safety. He is one of us, squirky. We will all protect him the same as we would anyone else."

"I know," I sigh, "I just... why wouldn't he tell me where he was going?"

"You know Burns," Blake shrugs, "he probably didn't want to worry you."

"Well that obviously failed," I mutter.

Blake chuckles. "He's going to be fine, squirky. Why don't you come help us in the kitchen huh? We're making ravioli." He wraps an arm around my shoulder and tows me back to the kitchen.

I glance at him. "So... you and Sophie huh? What's that about?"

Blake grins sheepishly. "Yeah, well, why not? She's nice."

"I thought you didn't like her that way," I say.

He shrugs. "I didn't at first, but she was just a kid then. She had a thing for me, you know, before you and Burns came here, but things were complicated enough. What can I say? She's matured. And she's fun to hang out with."

I study him a moment. I've known from the start that Sophie had a crush on Blake. It was quite obvious that first day when she asked me about him. "Just... don't toy with her feelings," I say.

Blake narrows his eyes and puts his hands in his pockets. "Wow, you really don't think much of me, do you? I don't toy with people's feelings, Emma. I never have."

I flinch at the coldness in his voice. "I didn't mean it that way," I mutter.

He sighs. "I don't know what will happen, Emma. We're taking things slow. Is that such a bad thing?"

"No," I muter, "of course not." I don't know why I reacted that way. Maybe I've gotten used to Blake flirting with me. I like having him around. Seeing him give that kind of attention to someone else now feels strange.

I'm suddenly reeled in by Blake's arm. "Nothing's gonna change, squirky. I'm still here. You can still cry on my shoulder."

Normally I would have smacked him for that, but now I only snake my arms around him in return and I can feel his surprise.

"Thanks," I mutter, and before I can embarrass myself any further, I break free from his hold and hurry towards my room

***

My stomach is growling, but I can't make myself leave my little sanctuary. I'm still too embarrassed to face Blake, and Burns and Arashi haven't returned yet.

"Emma?"

Nate's voice sounds right on the other side of the curtain. I sigh. I can't get a moment's peace around here. "Yes?" I ask tired.

The curtain moves aside and Nate's face appears. "Won't you come and eat something?"

"Did you know Burns was planning on leaving?" I ask.

"Yes," he answers calmly. He doesn't seem surprised at the question. "There was something he wanted to take care of," Nate continues, "he should be back in a day or two. Arashi's with him. There's no need for you to worry."

"Then why didn't he tell me he was leaving?" I mutter.

Nate sighs and sits down across from me. "Emma, trust me when I say, this is something he has to do alone. He was afraid you'd follow him. That's why he didn't tell you, but when he is back, you can ask him about it." He looks at me calmly. "I know you worry about him, but it would be nice if you could trust the rest of us with his safety too."

I sigh and stare at my hands. "I know."

"So, are you joining us for dinner?" Nate asks, "Sophie and Blake worked hard on it and my daughter seems to think she has done something to upset you."

"I didn't mean to snap at her," I say softly.

"Then you can go tell her that," Nate says, "I won't let you sit here sulking for the next few days. I think you need to distract yourself until Burns and Arashi are back. Stops you from worrying." He stands up and pulls me to my feet. "So, clean up duty for you after dinner and tomorrow art class. After that you can help Ellen and Logan in the greenery and then we'll think of something else, yes?"

I nod reluctantly. Maybe Nate's right. I need to focus on other things. And I know he's right about trusting the others.

I follow Nate to the kitchen and he steers me towards one of the tables. "There you go. Sit." He pushes me on a chair and waves someone over. A plate is placed in front of me. It does smell delicious. I stare at the plate of ravioli and my stomach gives a loud growl.

Will chuckles. "Better start eating, Emma, before the ceiling comes down on us."

Only now do I notice the others at the table. Will and Kelsey sit across from me. When I turn my head, I see I'm sitting next to Holden. Our new resident gives me a nervous smile. It seems he's still not comfortable with me, even if Burns isn't with me at the moment. His eyes search the room as if Burns will magically appear somehow.

"He's not here," I tell him annoyed.

Holden flinches and glances at me again. There's a wariness in his eyes as if he's afraid I'll grow two heads and eat him.

Across from me, Kelsey laughs softly. "Holden, breathe. You shouldn't be afraid of Emma. She's like you, you know. She also had a Soul in her head. Burns brought her back. We told you, didn't we?"

A sigh escapes Holden's lips and he looks down at the table. "I know," he mutters.

I roll my eyes and wolf down my food. "Give him a break," I say between bites, "it's not like you guys trusted Burns at first either."

"Well, look who defends the newbie," Will says amused.

"Shut up Will," I say, "I'm just saying I'm used to it. It sill annoys me when someone distrust Burns, but so far everyone has learned to accept him. If Holden can't, then too bad for him. As long as he doesn't try to harm Burns, he can stay."

"I've never seen you so assertive, squirky," Blake sits down next to me.

I sigh. "I know. I'm just worried about Burns."

"I told you he'll be fine. Arashi will protect him."

"That's what has you so on edge?" Will quirks an eyebrow. "You think Arashi wouldn't help him if there's trouble?"

I look at my empty plate and shrug. It seems really stupid now.

"Hey, don't worry," Will says, "Arashi can be an ass sometimes, but he wouldn't abandon anyone."

"I know," I mutter, "I just don't like being separated."

Will chuckles. "How well we know."

Blake studies me concerned and places a hand on my arm. "Are we good, Emma?"

I look up at him and offer a smile. "We're good."

"Good," Blake smirks, "cause we have clean up duty together. Nate's orders."

I roll my eyes. "So that's why you're being so nice all of a sudden."

He smirks and winks. "You know me. I love messing with you."