Chapter 84 The Powerless

Man is not what he thinks he is, he is what he hides.

-Andre Malraux

Emma

Two weeks. That's how long it has been since I saw daylight. That's how long we've been down here. The others haven't returned from their raid yet. Sophie told me it might be some time, depending on where they were headed and how often they need to hide. I don't know if I should feel worried or relieved.

I know they want to bring back Soul. I'm just not sure if I want them to succeed.

Things did become a little easier. I can't say they fully trust Burns yet, but at least he's not being treated as a pariah anymore. Some are even on friendly terms with him. Logan and Carlos and Sophie.

Kelsey and Kim started a careful conversation with him yesterday. And Blake is an ever present shadow, though I still think it's more for my sake than for Burns.

I don't complain about it. It's somewhat comforting to know he's there.

"I hope they bring some new clothes as well," Sophie sighs while leaning back against the wall, "these are getting old and worn."

"I doubt the boys will have that on their list of priorities," Rachel answers. She wipes her forehead. "I need a shower."

"Philip and Evan are still busy fixing the filter," I tell her. Rachel and I are still on rocky soil, but at least we're having normal conversations now. I lean back and close my eyes. Today has been hard. I'm starting to feel the effect from the lack of sunlight. I'm constantly tired.

"What are you three lying around for, slacking off?"

I open my eyes at the sound of Blake's voice. He's grinning.

"For your information," Sophie replies, "we have been working all day, while you have been lazing around at the look-out."

The look-out, as I have only found out yesterday, is in the tunnel where we arrived that first day. They take shifts watching the surface, looking for Seekers or wandering Souls, and whenever a group is on a raid, they're waiting for their return.

"Any sign of them?" Rachel asks and I bite my lip waiting for his answer.

Blake shakes his head. "Not yet. But they were supposed to take a detour to meet up with Russell, so it may be a while."

"We're running out of stock," Rachel says.

"We'll manage a few more days," Blake assures her. He drops down across from us. "Nate is planning a leisure night this evening." He looks at me. "You think you can bring your guitar this time, squirky?"

"Only if you find someone else to play it," I say.

Sophie eyes me curiously. "Why are you so set against playing yourself? It can't be that bad."

"If you play as good as you to the piano, then it's not bad at all," Blake says and I glare at him. I remember all too well he was there at that party where my mother forced me to play the piano as a tribute to the host.

"I don't like being in the spotlight," I say.

"Yet you played or Burns."

"That's... different," I mutter.

Blake tilts his head. "Why is that?" he teases.

"It just is!" I growl at him, but he only smirks and looks towards his left. I follow his gaze and see Burns approaching us. "Hi," I greet when he sits down next to me.

He smiles "How was your day?"

"Exhausting," I groan, "yours?"

"About the same," he smiles, "Logan and I have cleared a new space for a second greenery. We can grow some new vegetable once the others have returned from Russell's. They're supposed to bring seeds."

"Hey, you know," Sophie says suddenly, "Logan plays guitar too. He used to be in a band with a few of his friends."

Burns looks at us questioningly.

"Nate is organizing something tonight," Blake answers his unspoken question, "but squirky doesn't wan tot play for us."

I sigh. I've learned to ignore his nickname for me, but he still gets under my skin.

Burns blinks surprised when he turns to me. "Why not?"

I stare at my hands. "I don't like attention." Attention makes me self conscious

"No one is going to make fun of you, squirky," Blake says.

I shrug. "Doesn't matter," I mutter. I don't want to talk about it.

"If she doesn't want to play then just leave her be." Rachel unexpectedly comes to my rescue. "Logan can play too, so there is no problem."

I smile at her gratefully, but she doesn't meet my eyes. There's a grim line around her lips. Before anyone can respond, someone else enters the tunnel. "Philip," Sophie says surprised.

Philip's look is serious and his eyes settle on me and Burns. "They're back."

We rise simultaneously. There's something in the tense set of Philip's jaw at has me on edge, but I'm afraid to ask. Luckily Rachel voices my question for me. "Is everything alright?"

"They caught one," Philip answers while looking at Burns. I can't tell what his expression holds.

I'm the fist to move. I'm not sure what to expect, but the sooner we have this over with the better.

We reach the common room where a large group of people is already gathered. I push through the crowd to reach the center where I saw Will. The others follow behind me and Burns comes at my side. I glance up at him when I hear him draw a breath. His eyes are fixed on the figure next to Will. I don't recognized him, but it's evident that Burns does. I bite my lip. Did the capture one of his friends?

Whoever it is, the Soul recognizes Burns as well. His eyes grow wide. If he wasn't frightened before, he is now. I can see the emotion flicker behind his eyes. "Blue Ice Finder," he gasps, "did they take you too?"

"You know him?" Will's voice comes out harsh and I realize he still hates Burns. He hasn't been here for the past two week. His opinion hasn't changed. My heart sinks. This is going to end in disaster, one way or another.

The Soul's eyes flicker between Burns and the humans and then they land on me, standing close to Burns. I bite my lip. This Soul called Burns by a different name. I wonder what that was all about. And then I remember where I heard that name before.

Burns' next words confirm my suspicion. "His name is Droplets in the Morning Sun." The words sound strained. "He works in the Shipping Center in Vegas." Burns' face is pale and I understand he'd rather have had them bring in someone he hadn't met before.

"You took someone from that close?" Anna May growls at Will.

"Would you have us drag a Soul all across the country then?" Will growls back, "that sure would have drawn attention."

"Y-you're with them," Droplets in the Morning Sun stutters in shock. His eyes move to me again and he makes the connection. "You told them," he says in disbelieve, "you told them our secret. How... how could you do that?" Tears are forming in his eyes.

Next to me, Burns is trembling. I take his hand to comfort him.

It proves to be a bad move.

I'll never know if it was my fault, but I'll carry it with me for the rest of my life.

Droplets in the Morning Sun takes notice of our contact and something changes in his eyes. I hear Sophie's cry before it actually happens. The body that belonged to Droplets in the Morning Sun slumps to the ground and stays motionless and I feel Burns freeze.

"Tch," Will scoffs, "another waste of effort. It cut through the brain again."

That's what sets me off. With a loud growl I fling myself at Will and start punching him. He's too startled to move at first, but then he grabs my wrists. "What are you playing at, you crazy bitch?"

"Jerk!" I scream at him, "that was a living being! Now you've killed them both! Why didn't you just listen to Burns?!"

"Emma."

I barely hear Burns' voice. It sounds tired and defeated.

"Let her at it," Blake says. There's anger in his voice and I guess he's trying to stop Burns from prying me off Will.

Now that I'm unable to throw any more punches, I fight with whatever I have left. I kick at his shins and try to bite his hands that restrain me.

"Can someone get her off me!" Will shouts, "what is your problem anyway?"

"You are!" I kick at him while hands pull me away. I'm not sure who it is and I don't care. "Why do you have to be such an ass all the time? Why can't you just listen?!"

"Shut up!" Will snarls, "what do you know!"

"Enough!" Nate cuts in. He walks up to us until he's in between. "Can you both be civilized?"

Will snorts and I grit my teeth. It seems to be enough for Nate, because he nods at whoever is holding me and I'm released.

Nate sighs and looks at the body that's now on the ground. There's a sad look in his eyes. "Burry him," he says quietly and he turns to Burns. "Is there anything you'd like to do for this... Droplets in the Morning Sun?"

I look at Burns, who is a ghostly white, and reach out a hand to him, but he moves away from my touch. "I'd like to be alone for a while," he says and he moves out of the room.

I bite my lip and move to follow him, but Blake stops me. "Just leave him for a moment," he tells me quietly.

It hurts my feelings that Burns recoiled from me. We've been through so much together. I'm on his side. I feel like I'm rejected and it makes me feel lonely. I throw another glare at Will, but he ignores me, which makes me want to punch him again.

"Easy squirky," Blake says next to me and he tows me out of the room. "Time to cool off."

I let him pull me away. I don't want to stay anywhere near the body of Droplets in the Morning Sun. It's only a reminder of human stupidity.

"It's gonna be alright," Blake says after a moment, "he just needs some time to grieve."

It takes me a few seconds to realize he's talking about Burns.

"He didn't mean to shut you out," he continues, "he'll be back in no time." He smiles at me, but it holds something sad. "Nice punch by the way."

When I still don't respond, he stops and turns me. "Emma."

I don't know what he sees on my face, but he's suddenly a lot more serious. He pulls me against him and locks his arms around me.

My hands lock onto the back of his shirt and I press my face against his shoulder. The tension that's been building up since coming here is fighting its way out. I'm tired of being strong.

I need someone to be strong for me.

Or I might fall apart.