Chapter 80 The Risktaker

Believe me,Sometimes when life looks to be at its grimmest,There's a lightHidden in the heart of things.

-Clive Barker, Abarat

Burns

I keep my eyes closed when I hear Emma crawl away from under her blanket to join Blake outside. I don't want to worry her any further, so I let her think I'm asleep.

Instead, I focus on the soft conversation she shares with Blake. I can't hear everything they're saying, but it seems a rather intimate conversation.

Emma keeps saying they weren't friends, but Blake has me believe otherwise. There's something there that's undefined.

It shouldn't bother me the way it does. Emma can be with whoever she wants. I have no claim on her.

But I want to.

I want her to be mine.

It's the most selfish thought I have ever had. I know what jealousy is, even if I've never experienced it in any of my former lives. Not even David had ever been jealous like this before, but I still know what it entails and it's not pleasant.

What would Ocean say if she could see me now?

A sigh escapes my lips. I probably won't ever see her again. Not Core or Scales either. These humans aren't going to let me go.

A third voice sounds from the tunnel. Rachel, I think. A few seconds later the curtain moves and Emma comes in. When she sees me awake, she looks me concerned. "Are you still in pain? Do you feel nauseous?"

"I'm fine," I assure her, "I'll have a lump in the morning, but I'll be okay."

She sighs in relief but then watches me cautiously. "You'd tell me, if you're not okay? Because I will force them to bring you to a doctor, Healer, whatever."

I gently touch her cheek. "I'll tell you, I promise."

She gives a serious nod. "Okay."

When she settles down next to me, I notice the circles under her eyes. "Have you been sleeping at all?"

"Don't worry about me," she says ,"I'll be fine."

"Hey, if I have to be honest, so do you.'

She smiles weakly and sighs. "I promise." She scoots closer to me and my arm finds its way around her waist. At least I still have this.

***

When I step outside the next morning, Blake is still there, huddled up in a blanket. Rachel is there too. She jumps to her feet the moment she sees me. She must still be scared of me.

Blake only looks up. "Feeling better?"

I nod. "Yes, thank you."

"Is Emma still asleep?"

I glance back inside. "She needs her rest. She hardly gets any sleep. She worries too much."

"That just how she is," Blake answers.

"I know," I say, "but I don't want to wake her yet."

"Rachel can stay with her," Blake says, "I'll go with you to get cleaned up. We don't want any repeat of yesterday. You shouldn't wander these tunnels on your own just yet."

He must have stayed up all night. "You can't keep protecting me," I say.

"But I can try." He stands up and looks at Rachel.

She sighs. "Yeah, yeah. I'll stay here." She gives me a cautious look before disappearing behind the curtain.

"Come on." Blake slaps my shoulder and I follow him.

"Are you sure Rachel wants to stay with Emma?" I ask. From what I have seen so far, those two aren't exactly friends.

"Don't worry, they'll be fine. We have to sick up for one another here. Whatever happened in the past will stay in the past. It's a different world now."

"So you know why they don't like each other?" I say softly.

Blake grins. "It's just girl stuff. Trust me, you don't want to involve yourself in a cat fight."

So it's about boys then. I wonder if Blake was the reason. Rachel seems close with him. For some reason I don't want to ask.

...

Sophie and Ellen are in line for the bathroom when we arrive. Sophie studies us carefully. "You okay?" she asks.

"He'll live," Blake answers for me, "A bit of a headache, but that will pass. How are things with the others?"

Sophie glances at Ellen briefly, who is keeping a safe distance but keeps sending curious glances in my direction. "Dad was really angry with Will and Arashi. He warned them he'd kick them out if they tried anything again. No one is to harm Burns." She looks at me and bites her lip. "We're not barbarians."

"I know," I assure her.

"Not everyone is okay with their actions," Sophie continues, "violence is not the answer."

"I agree," I say, "I'm not here to hurt anyone. I only want Emma to be safe."

"You really care about her?" Ellen asks. She flinches when I turn to her, like she's shocked about speaking out.

"Yes," I say, "I care about her."

"But she's not your kind. You're not human."

"As long as I am in this body, I have human feelings and emotions," I explain.

She shakes her head confused.

"Don't talk to her."

I turn my head to see Evan walk out of the bathroom. He wraps an arm around Ellen's waist and glares at me.

"Chill Evan," Blake says, "he wasn't doing anything wrong."

"It's alright, Evan," Ellen says, "he's not going to do anything to me."

"Better safe than sorry," Evan says and he narrows his eyes at me again. "Go on," he says to Ellen and Sophie, "it's your turn. I'll wait here until you're ready." He keeps his eyes on me while they enter.

"Milo says you're going to raid again," Blake says.

Evan nods. "We need supplies. Russell's waiting for news. We're leaving today."

"You're going as well?"

"I'm not sure yet," Evan says. He looks at me. "I might have to stay here since Will is going."

"I thought you would wait at least a few more days."

"The coast is clear. We checked last night. We need to take every chance we get. It seems they weren't looking for him." He nods in my direction. "And they've given up on Nate and Rob."

"Are you really going to bring a Soul back?" Blake asks carefully.

Evan grits his teeth. "We need to make sure he's told us the truth. Sorry, Blake, but we can't just take the word of that girl. She would say anything to protect him." He looks up when Ellen and Sophie join us again and the three of them walk away, probably to get some breakfast.

Blake sighs. "Sorry about that. I was hoping it wasn't true, but I knew they'd want proof."

I nod. "I know. But I can't guarantee that whoever they will bring will come back. And if it doesn't work..."

Blake's face turns grim. "I know."

"Just promise me you'll keep Emma safe if it comes to that."

"I promised her I'd keep you safe too," Blake answers.

"She'll be fine without me," I say, "I know she cares about me, but once I'm gone, she'll move on. She's back with her own kind." I hesitate. "And she has you."

Blake studies me for a moment. There's no telling what he's thinking right now, but he nods seriously. "She still has me. But for now, let's make sure she has you too."