Chapter 12 The Starcatcher

“If you could touch the alien sandand hear the cries of strange birdsand watch them wheel in another skywould that satisfy you?”- Dr. Who (First Doctor)

 

Emma

 

It should have been obvious when I found the map in his study the day I ran away. But who can really blame me for drawing the wrong conclusions?I turn the rock around in my hand and study it closely. There’s nothing remarkable about it. It’s fairly large with rough edges, but it’s just a rock. Not a gem or anything. I place it back on the table and pick up the next object, a small vile filled with sand. After giving it a quick check I place that back as well. “Fascinating, isn’t it?” the Soul says, “think about it. All that sand is made of tiny little stones and if you heat it enough, it turns to glass.” His eyes hold wonder and amazement. “Don’t you think it’s beautiful?” He picks up a prism and holds it against the light. A variety of colors sweeps through my vision and strokes my cheek. My father had a prism like that on his desk. When I was little, he’d sometimes take me on his lap and then he’d hold the prism in front of us to catch the colors.

“See that Emma? It’s a rainbow in a box. Isn’t it pretty?”

 

Burns Living Flowers seems to have the same fascination with simple things. In some ways he’s like a child with a treasure shoebox. He has the strangest collections of objects.

He notices me staring and holds out the prism to me. “Pretty huh?” he smiles, “just like a rainbow.”After an encouraging nod I take it from him and my fingers trace the smooth surface.“Keep it,” he tells me.My  head snaps up and I stare at him. He wants to give it to me? My eyes return to the prism and I bite my lip. “Why would you give me something that is so precious to you?” I ask.He smiles. “You like it don’t you?” I nod my head. “Then I want you to have it.”

“But why?” I say confused. I’m feeling strangely touched.He sits in a chair across from me and brings his face close to mine. But somehow I don’t feel threatened by it. I can almost count the freckles on his face, if he didn’t have so many that is.

“I want to give it to you,” he says softly. His breath is cool on my face. He smells nice. A familiar scent that I don’t have a name for, but it has a calming effect. “Friends can give each other gifts, right?”“Friends?” I ask.“Aren’t we?” he responds.

I swallow the lump in my throat. It would be nice to have a friend again. Someone to talk to. To laugh with. But I can’t trust him. Can I?When I don’t respond, the smile fades away from his face. “I… I don’t know,” I breathe. My eyes return to the prism. “I don’t know what you want from me.”

“I just want to get to know you,” he says while tilting his head a little. I look at him helplessly and he sighs. “Not everything is as complicated as you make it out to be,” he tells me, “would you rather spend your life in hiding? All alone?”“I don’t know what I want,” I whisper.

He stands up and walks to the table. Before long he’s back and presses something in my free hand. It’s the rock he showed me before and I stare at it dumbfounded. It still looks the same. Just a rock. Nothing special.

“Go watch rocks with me,” he half smiles, “and then we can find out.”I’m not sure rocks can tell me what I want, but if I can get out of the city I’ll agree. “Okay.”His entire face lights up. “Really?”I nod. “Yeah. I’ll come.”

“Good,” he answers, “we can leave as soon as I’ve packed my equipment. Or would you like more pancakes?”“No I’m fine,” I say, even though I haven’t touched the food. Which of course he notices.“Are you sure you like pancakes? I know I’m not the best cook. Maybe we should grab something from the store on the way.” He scratches the back of his head a bit sheepish.“No it’s fine,” I say, “see?” I take a pancake and take a bite from it, not sure why I’m trying to please him. He stares at it confused for a moment. “You didn’t have to do that,” he says.“We can take the rest with us,” I say. There’s another silence between us and I stare at the desk. His look makes me self-conscious. Like I’m the alien here.

He starts gathering his equipment. Cameras and film and a notebook as well. I’m not sure what to do so I sit there and watch him move across the room. “Where are we going exactly?” I ask after a while.He looks at me over his shoulder. “Not far. Just into the mountains were I found you. We should be back tonight.”“I thought you wanted to study human behavior. Not rocks.”His eyes twinkle amused. “I already am,” he says.Before I can think of a response he has walked out of the room. I blink. He’s already been studying me? But I haven’t done anything special at all. He hasn’t really asked me questions either. Has he? I shake my head, trying to get my thoughts straight. Why am I so willing around him? I should be running for my life. With a confused frown on my face I make for the kitchen to hunt for tin foil to wrap the pancakes.The prism he gave me burns in my pocket.

“Friends can give each other gifts, right?”

 

Is it really just that? Or does he have an ulterior motive? He is the enemy of my kind. I can’t let myself be deceived by his kindness.I take the prism out again and turn it in my hand. A rainbow of colors spreads across the kitchen tiles. I wish I was a kid again, sitting in my father’s study. I want to go back to the time where I could still believe that daddy could fix anything.

Behind me, Burns Living Flowers enters the kitchen. “Are you ready?” he asks. He has already donned his jacket and is standing on one foot to put on his shoe. I swallow nervously and nod. Doe she understand how uncomfortable I am to be alone with him? To place my life, my humanity, in his hands? Does he care?He walks over to me and puts the pancakes in his bag. If he sees me holding the prism, he doesn’t make any comments about it.“Will this be enough for lunch?” he asks, “we can make some extra sandwiches if you like.”He’s making things sound so normal. Like we’re going on some fieldtrip. Like his kind hadn’t ruined my world. Like we’re the best of friends and he isn’t my captor and I am not his study object.

My hands close around the prism. I need to stop this self-pity. I have to be smart about this. I need to survive. He just wants me to be human, right? “I’m good,” I say, “but if you’re hungry, you can make some sandwiches.”He eyes me curiously for a moment. Probably wondering why I am so talkative all of a sudden.As he moves to the fridge, I place the prism back in my pocket and sigh. I don’t really want to ask him any questions. I don’t want to starts a conversation, but if I can figure him out I might have a chance. “Why are you so interested in rocks?”He looks up from his sandwiches briefly. “It’s not just rocks,” he tells me, “I like studying nature in general. Every planet is different. I find it interesting. And Earth is one of the most interesting places I’ve seen so far. There’s so much variety. Don’t you think?”“I’ve never been to another planet,” I say wryly. And I wish I could take back those words. The last thing I need is for him to turn against me. If he thinks I might form a threat, he’ll hand me over to the Seekers.I clear my throat. “Okay. Let’s go.” Without looking back I escape from the kitchen.

***

It isn’t a long drive, just like he said. When I ran away last time it seemed so far. But it’s only a twenty minute drive.He parks the car somewhere near the hiking trail. This makes me slightly nervous, because a hiking trail mans hikers, but his is the only car here.I watch as he unloads the bags from the trunk and I clear my throat. “You want me to…” I motion towards the bags and he chuckles. “It’s alright. I can manage.”“I don’t mind,” I say.“Okay,” he says and hands me the smallest bag, “You’re in charge of lunch then.”I manage a smile and a quick nod. I’m still not sure what we’re doing out here. Looking for rocks, yes. And then what?“Are you coming?” he asks.I look up and notice he’s already up the rail. I hastily follow him, unsure if there aren’t any other Souls in the vicinity, watching me.The sky is grey and there is a chill in the air, but at least it isn’t raining. It’s a strange idea that I was here just a few days ago. Everything looks so different now. I stay behind him the entire time so I can keep an eye on him, but he doesn’t seem concerned that I might run away. He’s probably right. I wouldn’t get far. And even if I wanted to escape, he only ever buys enough food for one day. I’d starve before I’d be well on my way. I wouldn’t be able to raid any time soon. He’d warn every Soul in the area about a human on the lose. By staying with him I have trapped myself.I sigh. “I thought you wanted to go off trail?”He smiles over his shoulder. “We will once we’re further up ahead.”“Where are we going exactly?” I ask a bit annoyed. He unfolds the map he’s holding and holds it out to me. I take it from him and turn it around. And around. And I still can’t make sense of it. I suck at reading maps.He eyes me amused and I glare at him. When he smirks, I clumsily fold the map and stomp off with his light chuckle following me.He catches up with me before the next bend. “Are you angry?” he asks while studying my face. I let out a huff. “No,” I mutter.The corner of his mouth curls up again and he holds out his hand. I grit my teeth and stuff the map in his hand which he then neatly folds and puts back in his pocket. “That way,” he points and once again I am the one following him.We climb a bit higher and then we finally do get off trail. I swallow difficulty. I’m not an outdoorsy person and I need to climb over rocks now. Perhaps Burns Living Flowers was a mountain goat in one of his lives, because he climbs over rocks like it’s nothing. Occasionally he glances back to make sure I’m still there. When there’s an impossible gap in front of me I squat down on a large boulder. There’s no way I’ll be able to make that jump. I don’t want to become some sticky goo in the ground.My head snaps up when a pebble drops at my feet. Burns Living Flowers is standing there, holding out a hand to me. “Come on,” he says, “I’ll help you.”For a moment I can only stare. If I accept his hand it means I have to trust him. It means creating some sort of bond that implies friendship. He is not my friend. But I can hardly keep sitting her. I’ll freeze to death.

Hesitantly I take his hand and I’m surprised at the strong grip he has. He doesn’t look like he has much muscle, but he pulls me to my feet effortlessly. He steadies me and then helps me cross the gap between the rocks. I hold my breath when I feel myself get unbalanced for a moment, but his grip is firm on my arms and he doesn’t let go before he’s sure I’m stable.“There you go,” he says and picks up the bags he left on the ground when he came back for me.It’s strange. He is always kind to me, but his grip, even though it was friendly, had been impersonal. Like a doctor would touch you while doing some test. No, that’s not the right word, but I don’t know how else to describe it. I don’t know what I expected though. Some human contact perhaps. But then again, he’s not human. The only human thing about him is his body and it does not belong to him.I sigh and pick up  my pace so I don’t lose him. I can already feel myself get comfortable around him and that is not a good sign. How long does it take to fall prey to kindness? If I slip up for even a second I can kiss my humanity goodbye.I gasp when I almost run into him. He’s kneeled down and is studying some rock or something. I can’t really see. Apparently we have reached our destination. I drop my bags and sit down on a boulder cross-legged, watching him for a while. He studies the rock in his hands and then compares it to another rock, making some notes every now and then. He moves on to some flower and sniffs it. He writes in his journal again and takes pictures. He looks so peaceful in his studies and I envy him for that.Just to have something to do, I start picking up rocks too. Who knows, maybe I’ll find some type of gem. You know, those geodes that look like rocks on the outside but have beautiful gems on the inside.  I don’t even know if you can find those at random, but I don’t have anything better to do.

I’m not sure how much time has passed, but I find myself on my  knees in the grassy dirt, digging for treasures. No stone I find looks the same. But rocks aren’t all I find. There’s bird feathers too and tiny animal bones. Rain starts drizzling from the sky, but I ignore it. I jump when something covers my shoulders. Burns Living Flowers retreats his hands and picks up something from his bag. I reach for my shoulders and notice he placed a raincoat over them. Gratefully I put it on and put up the hood. I glance at him. He’s putting some protective cap over his camera to shield it from the rain. Raindrops cling to his hair and something tightens in my stomach. Quickly I avert my eyes and stare at the ground.Burns Living Flowers doesn’t even look my way and snaps shots of some random vegetation. The rain doesn’t seem to bother him. I look up at the sky.  I’ve always thought it strange that the sun can shine during the rain, like it’s doing now, creating a vague rainbow in the drops that are falling. Rainbows hold something magical. Something you can never quite catch.My hand drifts to the pocket of my jeans where the prism is still hidden. The only way to catch a rainbow.Maybe it can catch some of the magic too.

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Please take a minute to listen to the song i posted on the side. "Falling Awake."