eighteen [nsfw]

On Friday morning, for the third time ever, you're nervous to head into the office. 

The first time had been on your first day, but everyone's a bit nervous on their first day. With no idea what exactly to expect, it made sense for you to be a bit freaked out. The second time had been the first day of November, the day after you and Levi had finally caved and fucked on Halloween night. It was only natural for you to be anxious after that. After all, you weren't sure how it was going to affect your working relationship. Turns out, you had nothing to worry about.

Now?

You've got absolutely no idea what the hell is running through Levi's head and it's scaring the shit out of you.

You thought you had him figured out: commitment issues, or something of the sort. Scared of a real relationship. Which was understandable, but if he was willing to talk about it, then it was something the two of you could work through.

And then last night happened. He opened up about a part of his past- Isabel and Farlan, you'll never forget those names- and then he'd felt comfortable enough to actually fall asleep in your lap. Did that count as cuddling? You're going to count it as cuddling. 

You want to talk about it. You want to explore whatever the hell he's thinking.

You just don't think that Levi does.

"Happy Friday!" Hange greets as they skip into the office.

"You're in a good mood," you remark as you pass by them and head for the kitchen, ready to make Levi his morning tea.

"Why wouldn't I be? It's a beautiful Friday morning," they say pleasantly, high-fiving Mike as he stumbles out of his office. The poor man looks hungover. 

"Hange, there's a snowstorm outside," Marco says patiently.

Hange beams. "Exactly!"

"The snow's annoying," Ymir announces, plunking herself down so hard into her chair that you're surprised it doesn't tip over. "Only good for whipping snowballs at people."

The rest of the office continues the casual chatter about snow as you vanish into the kitchen. Six days left of work. Six days left for tea. You purse your lips, wondering if making Levi his favorite would at least put him in a decent mood today. Well, it couldn't hurt, right?

You walk into Levi's office without knocking. He looks up at you, irritated with the interruption, but when he realizes you have tea, he straightens up. There's nowhere on his desk to put it down, so he holds out his hands, and you hand it to him.

"Thanks," Levi mutters under his breath, going back to his work.

"What can I do?" you ask.

He glances up at you. "Didn't you have some shit from yesterday to finish?"

"I'm helping you out first," you say, crossing your arms. "That was our deal. So tell me what reports I can reformat and I'll help you out."

Levi's eyes flicker to his reports, then back to you, and you frown at him. He sighs. "Fine. Take this stack." He taps a blue file folder jammed full with reports. "I'll send you the new template. If you get that done, bring them back."

"Alright."

You wait for a moment to see if he's going to say anything else. A part of you hopes that he's going to bring up last night so that you don't have to. When he doesn't, you sigh softly to yourself and leave, Levi's files stacked high in your arms.

No wonder this had been taking him so long; the first report takes you nearly thirty minutes. After that, things go a bit smoother. You tackle the first folder and manage to get onto a second one before lunch starts. Levi's making quick progress on his end as well, and by midafternoon, the two of you have made it through everything.

From there, you help Levi clear off his desk, putting all of the files back in their appropriate locations as Levi submits the newly formatted reports to Rod. You make several trips back and forth to the filing cabinet, restacking everything and putting it away.

It's a long process, but the two of you get it done. Levi groans, collapsing in his chair. "Thank fuck," he grumbles. 

"You would've been here until two in the morning if I left you to it last night," you remark, grabbing one of the extra chairs in Levi's office and taking a seat.

"Thanks for that." Levi shifts in his chair, propping his elbows up on the desk. "I'm serious. Thank you."

You nod, thinking of last night. "Of course."

There's an awkward pause that follows. Do you ask him about last night? Here, now, in his office? Would he bring it up?

Levi clears his throat. "Need anything else? You've got shit to do."

Here goes nothing. "Actually," you say, heart beating quickly in your chest, "I, uh- I wanted to talk to you about something." Levi raises his eyebrows, indicating for you to keep going. "Well, I've got one more week of work left."

"You do," Levi agrees. "Any luck with fulltime placement?"

"Not yet," you say. "But I wanted to talk to you more on..." you swallow. "On a personal level."

In sync, you and Levi both glance behind you at his office door. It's open a crack, but it's noisy out in the main office, so more likely than not, no one's listening in. "Is this about last night?" Levi mutters. "Because I said I was-"

"You did nothing last night that you need to apologize for," you interrupt fiercely, glaring at him.

His eyebrows knit together. "Then what? You're done in a week, so we're done in a week. What else do we need to discuss?"

Just like that. Is he joking?

You blink stupidly, reeling back like he's slapped you. Have you been reading this wrong? There's no way you have. The gradual development to something more casual, that kiss in your doorway, Levi opening up- you'd assumed it was a sign of things getting more serious between you two, possibly opening the door to a relationship. What weren't you seeing?

You have to hold back a string of curse words when you reply. "Seriously?" you say dubiously, frustration seeping into your tone. "You can't tell me that's what you want."

Levi's eyes flicker up to the cracked door, then back to you. "I'm not discussing this with you here," he mutters.

"Alright," you agree immediately, because this is definitely a conversation you want to continue. "Tonight?"

"Fine."

"Yours or mine?"

"Yours."

Maybe it's the way Levi's being annoyingly cryptic, or maybe it's that his actions tell a different story than his words. Either way, you can't help but snap, "I haven't reached that privilege yet? To see your place?"

Levi's eyes are dark, and his jaw is clenched. "Do you want to meet tonight, or not?"

"I do," you agree.

"Are we going to..." Levi waves his hand vaguely. "The usual?"

He's referring to sex. You bite your lip, thinking. No, you're never one to turn down sex with Levi- you'd like to, of course- but you'd rather talk. But if sex is the only way he'll come over-

He cuts you off. "Forget it. I'm not making you do anything you don't want to do-"

"I do," you cut off. "I do want to. Tonight would be good."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

Levi's eyes are clouded, like he's trying not to let you see any sort of emotion from him, which is bothering you like nothing else. He tips his chin down, nodding slightly, and when you realize he's not going to say anything else, you stand up and leave his office. 

You want to keep this up with Levi. No, you don't just want to keep it up, you want it to be more. You want what you had last night, every single night of your life. You want to sit and listen to him, watch shows with him, bicker with him.

God, you're so in love and it hurts.

You get back to work with some of what you were supposed to be doing today, but the end of the day rolls around before you can finish everything up. You debate staying late, but end up deciding against it- it's not urgent and it'll give you something to start on Monday.

A few minutes before the end of the day, a message pops up in your inbox from Erwin. Immediately, anxiety grips your heart. Anything from the boss is never good news.

You click on it, frowning.

Please stop by my office before you head out today.

Sincerely, 

Erwin Smith

Erwin wants to speak to you? About what? Maybe just the end of term wrap up. Yeah, that might be it. Telling yourself not to dwell on it, you turn back to your work.

When 5 pm hits, no one seems especially eager to leave, which you're betting is in part caused by the awful snowstorm outside that hasn't let up since you came in. With grudging sighs, people slowly start to depart, bidding everyone else goodbye and trickling out of the office. 

You get up from your desk, packing up your things before you go to see Erwin. To your surprise, Levi stops by your desk. "Ride?" he asks.

You raise your eyebrows. "Really?"

"It's nasty as hell out there," Levi remarks, glancing at one of the far windows. You can't help but agree; you can't see anything outside the window besides the blur of white. "Besides, we're going..." he trails off, looking away. "We're going the same way."

True enough. "Thank you," you murmur. "I appreciate it. But I'm meeting with Erwin now, I'm not sure how long I'll be."

"I'll wait, then."

"You don't have to-"

"What're we discussing?" someone chirps, and Hange pops between you two, looping an arm around your shoulders and their other arm around Levi's. "Weekend plans?"

You laugh. "Not in this snowstorm."

"Seeing good old Kenny this weekend?" Hange asks, tilting their head to look down at Levi.

"Kenny?" you ask.

"Crazy uncle," Levi clarifies. He glances back at Hange. "Not if I can help it."

"I met him once," they say, head swiveling over to you. "Cranky old man. I can see who stole all of the height in the family." Levi delivers a sharp elbow to Hange's side, and they dance away, letting go of the both of you. "You need a ride, Greenie?" Hange chirps, undeterred.

"I'm staying a bit late," you say with a shake of your head. "Thanks anyways."

"Alrighty. Then Levi! Let's walk down together."

"I'd rather walk home in the snowstorm." Levi glances back at you as Hange drags him away, raising an eyebrow. You smile in return. If he's going to stay a bit longer to give you a ride, you're definitely going to take him up on that. 

Everyone else is already gone from the office; you're the only one left. You pad towards Erwin's office door and knock. You hear a "come in" and you let yourself in.

Erwin's office is in a similar arrangement to Levi's, but his desk and office space seem to be a bit... busier. He's quite tidy as well, but there's more stacks of files, more photo frames and miscellaneous items scattered around his desk. You force a smile. "You wanted to see me, sir?" you ask.

"I did. Have a seat."

You pull out one of the two chairs in front of his desk and sit yourself down. "Doing well?" you prompt, trying to start a casual conversation.

He smiles. "I am. I hope you are as well." He folds the report he's working on and sets it aside. "You're down to your last week. How're you feeling?"

"Sad, if I'm honest," you say genuinely. "I love working here. I'm going to miss it."

Erwin's smile widens slightly. "I'm happy to hear it, especially considering why I called you in here." You raise an eyebrow, confused, and he continues. "Your coworkers have nothing but nice things to say about you. You've gelled quite well here in our office, and you're the first intern to make it through a term without making a complaint about your boss."

You can't help but smile. "Nothing to complain about, sir," you say with a grin. "Levi's a great boss. I've learned a lot."

"That's good to hear. It also shows he's becoming better at getting along with his coworkers." Erwin folds his hands. "But I didn't ask you here to talk about Levi, I asked you here to talk about you."

"Oh?"

"I'm about to head out to dinner with Rod Reiss and the other heads of the branches," Erwin says. "I'm going to pitch taking on another fulltime staff."

Your tongue swells up in your throat. You wait for him to continue.

"Mr. Reiss has done us the favor of increasing our budget this year," he continues, his eyes drilling into your skull, "and no small part of that is thanks to you. I intend on pitching to increase our sales team by one, and I'd like to offer you fulltime work here."

Your brain has ground to a halt. It feel like the information is hitting a brick wall and bouncing off of it.

"Putting you on sales right away would be a bit ambitious." Erwin chuckles. "Jean has made several inquiries of moving over to sales. I would put him in sales, and you would take over his place as Head of Quality Assurance. You've got a great eye for detail and I believe you'd do well. The work is similar to what you've already been doing, but now you'd operate independently, not under Levi. And obviously, there's a pay increase."

"Wow," you squeak out.

He smiles. "Like I said, this is just an idea I want to pitch. Budget wise, it's manageable. We've got an intern lined up for January, but we most likely wouldn't take any after that, if you were to accept."

Your lips twitch. "Levi would have to make his own tea."

"Somehow, I'm sure he'd manage. But again, this is just my idea. I wanted to ask if this is something you'd be interested in, because I won't bother proceeding if you've already got plans for the new year."

Your head feels like it's spinning. You're trying not to get your hopes up. "I would definitely be interested, sir," you say, biting the inside of your cheek to contain your grin.

Erwin smiles. "Wonderful. Then I'll proceed. I have your number from the contact list and I'll inform you as soon as I know whether this becomes a possibility. I plan on asking as soon as we're settled in for dinner, so you should know within the hour. Have you received any other offers for fulltime positions?"

Yes, actually. You got two emails back just today with employers setting you up for interviews next week. "A few potentials."

"Then you'll need time to consider." Erwin stands up from his desk. "I'll inform you as soon as I find out tonight, but it would be wise not to get your hopes up," he warns. "Keep your options open. If this does come to fruition, then I would need a response from you by the end of your last day. Next Friday."

You swallow hard. Don't get your hopes up. "Thank you, sir."

"Please keep this to yourself for the time being. I'll text you as soon as I can confirm or deny this opportunity." Erwin walks around his desk, heading out of his office. You stumble after him. "Can I walk you down?"

"Sure," you agree.

You follow Erwin into the elevator, your head spinning. A job? Fulltime, in this branch, doing what you're already familiar with? It feels too good to be true. It is too good to be true. Erwin said not to get your hopes up, so you've got to keep your cool for now.

Levi.

If you got this job, you could be with Levi. You- you could stay at the branch. You wouldn't have to do long distance. He said this had to end because you're leaving, but what if you didn't have to leave?

Don't get your hopes up. Keep it to yourself.

You don't want to set yourself up for disappointment. You and Levi are set to talk tonight. Erwin said he was going out for dinner with Rod right now, so theoretically, you should find out sometime in the next hour. Just in time to talk to Levi. 

Alright. Game plan. Go have sex with Levi to stall, then talk. If Erwin brings good news, then hopefully the conversation will go a lot smoother.

"You take the bus?" Erwin says as he opens the door for you.

The snow threatens to sweep you off your feet. You squint down the parking lot and smile to yourself; even through the snow, you can see Levi's headlights. "I have a ride today," you reply.

He nods. "Alright. Have a good weekend."

"You too, sir. Thank you. I look forward to hearing from you tonight."

Erwin bids you goodbye, hopping into his own vehicle, and you traipse through the snow-covered sidewalk over to Levi's passenger door. You pull the door open against the wind and collapse into the seat, shaking snow everywhere.

Levi glances at you. "Still up for tonight?"

You nod. "Absolutely."

"Is it too much to ask you to keep the snow out of my car?"

"Yeah, when there's a giant storm outside," you reply with a roll of your eyes. "In case you haven't noticed."

"Oh, I've noticed. You just brought all of it into my car."

You soften. "You didn't have to wait."

Levi's eyes break away from you to glare at the snow outside. "No, I didn't," he agrees, "but I want to fuck you and I'm not about to wait for you to take another fucking half hour on a bus."

You can feel your blood heating up already, the heat rushing to your legs. "Thank you," you murmur as Levi starts to back the car out of the parking spot. "Actually, I had an idea for tonight," you say quickly.

"What's that?" Levi asks, taking the turn out of the parking lot.

He drives slowly, well under the speed limit, and you appreciate his caution in the weather. "I was thinking of last Friday," you say, remembering how Levi took his time pleasuring you, putting your needs over his own. 

He takes a slow turn. "What about it?"

"I think it should be your turn."

Levi glances at you only briefly, keeping his attention primarily to the road. He's quiet for a minute. "You want to tie me up," he says eventually.

You laugh. "No, not that, really." You don't want to tie him up- you like his hands in your hair. "But I think it's about time you feel as good as I do."

Maybe he's just at a loss for words, or maybe he just doesn't care. Either way, Levi's response comes after a short period of silence. "Well, if you want," he grumbles. "I won't stop you."

"I know," you hum to yourself.

The rest of your ride home is in silence, and it's a bit slower than usual due to the brutal snow and wind. You and Levi make it back to your apartment, stumbling through the heavy winds to get inside and go up to your floor. You brush some of the snow out of your hair and resist the urge to do the same to Levi's. 

When you get inside, you kick off your shoes and hang up your coat, then immediately set off for your bedroom. Levi is a bit slower, shaking out his things as he hangs them up.

"You coming?" you ask, raising an eyebrow at him. 

Levi kicks his shoes off and follows you to your bedroom. Adrenaline is racing through your veins, trying to combat the nerves. You just want to pay Levi back- it feels like he's done too much for you and you want to return the favor. Besides, if he's in a decent mood, it might make the inevitable conversation go better.

You drop your purse by the door, then glance at Levi. "Lay down."

"Seriously?" he says.

"Unless you don't want to do this right now. We could always wait-"

With a sigh, Levi sits himself down. You press your hands into his shoulders and push him; Levi gets the hint and shoves himself backwards until he's taking up the full spread of your bed. You hop up on the bed next to him. His eyes are glued to you, his muscles tensed in anticipation. 

"I told you," you murmur, mustering up as much confidence as you can, "it's your turn. Do I need to find something to use for bindings-"

"No," Levi interrupts immediately. "No. Don't."

"Alright." 

Feeling emboldened, you crawl over top of him, then sit up so that you're straddling his hips. Levi looks up at you, eyes sharp, teeth gritted. He's unbelievably tense beneath you. You touch your fingertips to his cheek, feeling his clenched jaw beneath your skin, and you feel him exhale. 

Slowly, you let your fingers drift downwards until they're at his collarbone. You start to undo the buttons of his shirt, one by one, shifting back until you're sitting directly on his erection. Levi growls in the back of his throat as you shift, lightly grinding against him.

"Fucking vixen," Levi swears softly as you finish unbuttoning his shirt and you pull it off of him.

You smile innocently. "Arms up."

Levi raises his arms, and you pull his undershirt off of him, discarding it. God, you'll never get tired of staring at his chest, layers of tightly packed muscle right underneath your fingertips. You shuffle back, subconsciously grinding your crotch over Levi's dick again and making him groan, and you press your lips to his neck.

Levi's head tips back against the pillows. "Fuck," he croaks as you kiss your way down, down his chest and his abdomen until you're at his pelvis. It's like his eyes are magnetized to you, unable to look away. You lightly suck at his skin as your fingers undo his belt, throwing it out of the way. You break your lips from his skin just so that you can grab his pants and boxers and pull them down his legs.

Oh, how the tables have turned. Now, it's Levi exposed, stark naked in front of you, fingers curled in the bedsheets, while you're completely clothed and hovering above him.

"Relax," you practically purr, positioning yourself between his legs with your mouth over his cock. 

His hard, curved cock is laying against his pelvis, precum already leaking from the tip. Look where you've gotten him- you haven't even done anything yet. Levi looks pained, watching you through hooded eyes as you wrap your fingers around his cock.

You shift forward slightly, pressing your tongue against his abdomen and lapping up any precum that spilled onto his stomach. Levi hisses through his teeth. "God, Red, fucking damn."

You grin, then slowly swirl your tongue around the tip of his cock.

Levi's reaction is immediate; you feel him kick the bed next to you, hands grabbing for anything he can reach, your warm muscle searing his skin. You press your tongue to the underside of his shaft, and happy sparks dance in your stomach when you hear him hiss. Hissing isn't enough, though- you want to hear him whine.

You kiss the head of his dick, then take some of him into your mouth, letting your tongue refamiliarize itself with the salty taste. "Shit," Levi curses above you, and you feel his hands move to your head. "God, you're too fucking good at this, this is fucking unfair-"

Is he praising you? Hell, you'll take it. You take as much of Levi into your throat as you can, dangerously testing your gag reflex, and Levi's fingers thread into your hair as he feels for something to grip.

Hearing Levi struggle to contain himself is such a reward that you can feel your core heating up. "Red, fuck," Levi mutters, and you can hear the moan on the edge of his voice, so you take him even deeper. "Fuck," he moans, and you smile around his cock. Got him. "Red, you- you're so fucking good, Christ-"

You continue leisurely, kissing and licking and sucking at his dick while Levi constricts beneath you, his fingernails digging into your head. Part of you wanted to tie his hands up, but you still love the feeling of his hands in your hair, desperate to hold onto you.

You wrap your hand around him, pulling firm around his shaft. "Shit," Levi curses, twitching beneath you. "Shit, shit-"

Levi's hips move with your hand, pushing himself into your mouth, and you let him have his way, burying him as deep as you can into your mouth. Then, you hear it- that whimper. Levi whines, something so blatantly sinful that you can feel your pussy throb. Your eyes sting, but you keep going, knowing that you've got to give this man one of the best orgasms he's ever had or so be damned.

He's getting close. You can feel it, feel him bucking his hips up into your mouth, cock twitching against your lips. You press your tongue against the sensitive underside of his shaft, pushing hard and dragging moan after moan out of Levi's mouth.

"Fuck," he gasps, palm pressing into your head. "Fuck, fuck-"

With a shake, Levi cums hard in your mouth. You don't spill a single drop, one hand clutching onto his hip and the other stroking him, encouraging him to go with his release. Levi chokes out your name- your real name, not the nickname- under his breath, and heat drives itself straight to your core as you roll your tongue around his cock, lapping up everything that he'll give you.

Levi's hips drop to the bed. "Well, shit," he manages, voice ragged. 

He said your name. Fueled by your own lust and your raging attraction to the man in front of you, you pull your mouth off of him and crawl over top again. Levi watches you, eyes lidded. You move until you're completely over top of him, face hovering over his.

You lean in and kiss him. To your relief, Levi kisses you back, tongue darting into your mouth to taste himself on your lips. You moan, sliding your hands up to cup his jaw as you open your mouth, because who are you to refuse? His tongue sweeps over your bottom lip as he lets out a moan that you can feel echoing down to your fucking lungs. 

Levi's hands reach for the hem of your shirt, and he pulls it over your head. You break your kiss just to tug it away, and then Levi's fingers undo your bra.

His hands cup your tits, and you sit yourself up. "This is about you," you remind him, shuffling yourself backwards. "Not me."

"Red," Levi murmurs, sitting himself up on his elbows.

"No buts," you insist, shuffling back again so that your mouth is over his pelvis. "Levi, let me do this for you."

He doesn't protest. You glance down; his cock went limp after his orgasm, but you can see him stiffening again. Slowly, you tip your chin down. You take his dick in one hand, then take it back into your mouth.

Levi spasms beneath you, groaning as you take his soft cock back into your warmth, pressing your tongue against it. You don't suck it again; you just let it sit in your mouth, enveloped in your heat. Carefully, you reach down to your pants, wiggling your pants and your panties down your hips and legs until they're completely off.

You carefully pull your mouth back, then lick a long, wet stripe up the side of his shaft, and Levi whines, hands reaching for your hair once again. As Levi fights overstimulation, you bring one hand down to your clit, guiding yourself to your own pleasure, building up what stimulation you can.

"Red," Levi chokes out, "just- just get up here already."

You pull his semi-hard dick out of your mouth and you climb back over top of him, rubbing your pussy against him. Levi's moan is lost when you press your lips to his, tongue pressing against his. You grind yourself onto him, his cock sliding between your folds, slathering him with your slick.

Levi's hands cling onto your chest, squeezing tight, his fingers rubbing over your nipples. You grind yourself back and forth, your cunt aching to be filled but wanting to get Levi hard again first.

"Shit," you whine as Levi pinches your tit, rolling the nub between his fingers. "Fuck, Levi-"

"I'm good, Red, I'm good," Levi pants, and his hands slide down to grab your ass and lift. You help raise yourself up and reach down for his cock, trying to position yourself. You push his tip into you and both of you moan in unison.

You pause, giving yourself a moment to adjust. Levi's eyes are alight with lust, his fingertips pressing hard into your ass.

Maintaining eye contact, you sink all the way down, burying Levi's cock deep inside of you. Levi breaks away from your gaze just so he can throw his head back and groan. Your teeth sink into your lip as you adjust yourself, sliding your hips back and forth.

"Christ, Red," he mumbles, and he almost sounds like he's in pain as he croaks out, "you're the fucking devil, I swear, making me feel this good."

"Then what does that make you?" you manage. You can feel the familiar pleasure building in your pussy again. "God, Levi, you're so thick- fuck."

You roll your hips forwards, then back again. You don't take the time to go slow and build up the pace; you move fast and heavy, shifting in circles, pushing yourself up and back down again. It feels good, so good- Levi's stretching you out and you're clamping down on him, drawing out that blissful feeling that's blooming in your stomach.

Dropping a hand down to your clit, you start rubbing circles, needing that extra stimulation. Levi's fingers are pinching tight onto your nipples, and it feels like vibrations are running through your entire body. Everything feels ridiculously good.

Your movements grow sloppier; you've got less rhythm. Levi's started bucking his hips up into yours, timing your movement with his thrusts. Both of you are nearing your breaking point, and he can tell.

"Fuck," you choke, fingers tight around Levi's shoulder and faster on your clit. "Fuck-"

Your eyes squeeze shut, wildfire burning through your veins as everything below your waist locks down. You squeeze tight around Levi, sinking yourself down on him as the brutal tides of pleasure sweep through you. You moan, low and unashamed, as you ride out your high, dizzy from the sensation.

Levi breaks next, his body jolting with every single wave of ecstasy that pulses through him. You feel his heat inside you, which makes you whimper. He sighs, head falling back against the pillows and legs buckling.

Slowly, you pull yourself off of him, gasping for breath. You roll off, collapsing to the bed, trying to stop the quivering in your thighs.

"Damn," you hear Levi mutter.

You nod in agreement. That was good. 

Levi slowly starts to work himself up to a sitting position, and you do the same, looking for where your clothing got thrown to. You snag your bra and clip it back on again, then find your panties and slip them back on.

You glance at Levi. He's already made his way to his underwear and pants; his undershirt is in his grip.

Shit. The two of you were supposed to talk.

With a jolt, you remember Erwin. He said he was going out to dinner with the CEO tonight and he'd text you as soon as he found out. He- he could've texted you by now.

Suddenly frantic, you look for where you dropped your purse by the door, and you crouch to rummage through it. You find your phone, and your heart stutters in your chest: there's a text from Erwin. You click on it.

Rod agreed. The position is available if you're looking for it. No rush, let me know by next Friday.

Your chest squeezes.

A job. Within the company. The same branch, the same area. With Levi.

You can do this. The two of you. You can actually do this.

"You wanted to talk?"

You spin around. Levi's staring at you, but his gaze is kind of wary, like he's not sure where this is going to go.

"Yeah," you murmur, reaching to the ground for your shirt and pulling it over your head. "I wanted to talk about- us. After my internship."

"I thought I made myself clear," Levi says, and his voice is carefully measured- like a rehearsed speech. "When you're done, then we're done. I don't do long distance- especially not for this."

You swallow hard. "So you're telling me you feel nothing for me."

Levi doesn't reply. He looks away, messing with his belt buckle.

"What if I didn't leave?"

He pauses. Then, he glances at you. "What are you saying?"

You squeeze your phone tighter in your hands. "I'm saying Erwin offered me a job. Fulltime."

Levi's lips part in surprise. He stares at you, and you can't read anything from his expression. Your heart hammers loudly against your rib cage. "When did he?..."

"Just now," you murmur, raising your phone. "He mentioned it earlier today, when he wanted to talk to me, but it wasn't confirmed until... until just now. He told me to keep it to myself, so I suppose I've already messed that up, but..." You trail off, then smile. "It'd be in the department. I'd be taking Jean's old position and he'd be moving to sales."

He stares at you, blinking uncomprehendingly.

"You're joking," Levi says.

"I'm not," you reply.

Levi reaches for his undershirt and pulls it over his head, then reaches for his button up shirt. "I should go."

Well, that certainly wasn't how you expected him to take the news. "Isn't- isn't this a good thing?" you say slowly, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. "Levi, we can- we don't just have to be-"

"I don't do workplace relationships."

"Then we can just keep doing this."

"No, we can't."

His words are sharp, like a blade. You purse your lips together, frowning. What's his deal? You reach for your pants, dropping your phone on your bed. "Levi-"

"There shouldn't be any 'we'," he mutters, buttoning up his shirt without looking at you. 

"Levi," you try, but he's already headed out the door. Frantic, you race after him, nearly tripping over your pant legs. "Wait," you protest, following him as he heads to the door, doing up his belt as he goes. 

He's not looking at you, not listening to you-

"Levi!" you snap angrily. "Look at me!"

He doesn't look, but he stops. You halt yourself too, giving yourself a few feet of space away from him. For a minute, the two of you remain frozen in your living space, waiting to see who'll make the first move.

You exhale slowly. "I thought this could be a good thing," you say carefully. "We can- it doesn't have to..." No going back from here. "It doesn't just have to be friends with benefits anymore," you admit quietly, your heart thundering in your chest. "Levi, I... I like-"

"Don't say it," he interrupts. "That just makes it harder."

"There doesn't have to be anything hard about this," you protest, trying to keep yourself calm. "If I'm staying, then there's no reason we can't..." you trail off.

Levi's voice is deadly calm. "There's plenty of reasons why we can't. It's too risky."

You want to laugh. "More risky than sneaking around and fucking?"

"You were..." he trails off, and you force yourself to stay quiet. "You were supposed to be gone after two months," Levi says, and you recall him saying that after the first (technically second?) time you two had fucked, on Halloween. "That way, if either of us got attached, it wouldn't matter, because you'd be gone."

If either of us got attached. "But I'm staying," you say.

"Right. Which is why this has to end."

"But- but that's exactly why it doesn't!" you insist, starting to get fed up with how cryptic Levi is being. "Levi, I-"

"Don't say it."

"I like you," you snap, and you can see the muscles in his back and shoulders tense. "And don't even try and tell me you don't have feelings too."

Levi is rigid, standing as still as a statue. You wish he'd turn and face you so you could see his face, try and get a glimpse of what's going on in his head. You don't understand; this should be easy. Why is he making it so difficult?

"Why is this so hard?" you whisper. "What- what's so bad about a relationship?"

"It's risky, Red," Levi says hoarsely. "You know that. Especially if we're going to keep working together."

"So?" you protest. You walk around Levi so that you can step in front of him and face him, since he clearly wasn't going to turn around. Levi meets your eyes, and you're surprised by how pained he looks. "Everything's got a risk. Hell, doing this- whatever this is- was risky as fuck. What's one more?"

"I've had a workplace relationship before."

This new information stops you cold. No, you and Levi never talked about previous exploits, but you feel like this particular detail would've been nice to know.

He sighs, tearing his eyes away. "It's risky," he repeats. "It's easy for things to go wrong and it affects the work you do. When I tell you I know, I know."

You sputter, trying to find some way to contradict it. "I can- I can move to a different department," you try futilely. "I mean, I'd rather not, but if it's the difference between a relationship or no relationship, I'll do it."

"Red, come on. I'm not making you do all that shit for me."

"You're not making me do anything. I want- I want this, I want it to work," you say. "And I'm willing to make some sacrifices if I have to."

Levi grits his teeth. "Don't bother. I'm not worth that."

You scoff as Levi pushes past you, walking towards your door. "Oh, spare me the pity party!" you snap, turning around to face him as he moves to put his shoes on. "You don't get to decide what you're worth to me, Levi. I like you-"

"Stop saying that," he hisses.

"-and I want to make this work," you say, trying to keep your voice level. "Why are you so scared of a relationship? We could-"

Levi straightens up and whirls on you. He moves so fast that you nearly flinch backwards. "You," he snaps, "were supposed to be gone! In a week! And we could- we could forget this ever happened! It was all supposed to be over."

"And it's not!"

"It should be!"

Heat is starting to push behind your eyelids. You blink, trying to ward the tears away. "It wouldn't be any different than what we have now," you say shakily. "Nothing- nothing would really change."

Levi's eyes harden. "Everything," he says lowly, "would change."

"Not everything," you reply. "Levi, you know that-"

"Stop," Levi says heavily. You're trying to decipher what you can see in his expression, but it's next to impossible- he's well guarded. "The more you talk, the harder that makes this for both of us."

"It doesn't have to be a relationship," you say desperately. "We can just- we can keep doing what we are now."

"We can't, and you know it. You're smarter than that. We're both..." he swallows hard. "We're both too..." he trails off.

You deflate. "Attached."

Levi doesn't reply, which serves as confirmation. Eventually, he mutters, "yeah. I don't do relationships. It's not happening."

His words make something burn in the pit of your stomach. "I don't care how hard it is," you whisper, feeling smaller than you ever have in your life. "Levi, I don't care. Whatever you're doubting, whatever it is- we can handle it. You- we-" you can't even organize your thoughts anymore. It's becoming harder and harder to keep the tears at bay.

Levi finally meets your eyes, and you see it. He's scared.

So are you, for that matter. Absolutely terrified. Not of Levi, but of what he's going to say next, because your heart is literally resting in this man's hands and he could do whatever he wants to it.

He grits his teeth, and you see him square his shoulders. He's hardening his resolve. "It wouldn't work," Levi says firmly. "This is my fault- I never should've started this in the first place. I told you, I've tried this before. It was dangerous enough to keep this up. We wouldn't- we wouldn't work."

"We don't know that," you whisper. "You- you don't know that."

"Maybe not, but I'm not about to find out."

It's almost like you can feel your heart cracking in your chest. You swallow hard, eyes trained on the floor, unable to think of anything else to say. It feels like the second you start to speak, tears are going to spill, and you don't want to cry in front of Levi.

The both of you remain still for a moment, waiting to see if the other is going to say something.

"Fine then," you say hoarsely, summoning what's left of your dignity. "Leave."

You half wish he hadn't listened. Levi turns. You hear your door click open, then close softly. Levi's footsteps pad down the hallway until you can't hear them anymore.

Finally, you collapse on the floor and burst into tears.