Ch 157

Itachi's hands moved with practiced ease, fingers steady as he wrapped clean bandages around my arm. 

The silence between us was familiar by now, not even awkward, just there. He didn't rush, didn't press too hard. Just methodical. Careful with his touch, but not unsure. 

I watched his face as he worked. There was something almost soothing about it. The way his brow stayed smooth, his mouth relaxed but neutral. 

He didn't frown. Didn't scowl. Just focused. Calm. Like this wasn't a burden. Like patching me up was as simple as breathing. 

I didn't flinch when he tightened the wrap. I barely felt it. Instead, I kept watching him. Up close like this, I could see the things most people probably missed. 

The faint crease near his eye. The soft shadows under his lashes. The lines that hadn't come from age but from experience. From burdens upon burdens. 

Still, he looked composed. Like nothing could truly shake him. He didn't say a word, and neither did I. But I wanted to. Not about the wound, or the mission, or whatever came next. Just... something small. 

Instead, I just breathed in and out and let him continue. When he was done, he tied the bandage off neatly, then let his hand linger just a moment longer on my arm, only a second. A soft touch. Steady. Grounding. I didn't say thank you. He didn't need me to. But I meant it. 

I shifted a little, flexing my fingers against the fresh bandages on my arm. The sting was dull now, more of a reminder than a pain. 

Itachi had returned to his usual position, sitting across the small fire with his gaze cast somewhere just beyond me. It was then my thoughts wandered, like they always seemed to when things finally got quiet, to something he'd asked a while ago. 

What was it like with Orochimaru? He hadn't pressed for an answer at the time. Typical Itachi, he didn't force confessions out of people. He just planted the seed and waited. And now, for some reason, I wanted to answer. 

"I've been thinking about what you asked me," I said aloud, eyes on the flickering flame. "About Orochimaru." Itachi didn't react visibly, but I could tell he was listening. 

"I know you don't think much of him," I continued, a faint smile tugging at one side of my mouth. "Can't really blame you. He's... complicated. Manipulative. Creepy as hell, most days. But..." I paused, trying to find the right words. 

"I never really felt like I was in danger, not in the way people would assume. It wasn't exactly safe, either, being in his compound was like living in a den of vipers. Everyone was out for themselves. No one trusted anyone. And you always had to be thinking five steps ahead or you'd get stepped on." 

I looked over at Itachi then, and sure enough, his eyes were on me now. Patient. Quietly curious. 

"But he's not... heartless," I added. "At least, not all the time. Orochimaru is a scientist before anything else. Twisted, yes. Obsessed with power, definitely. But to him, people were puzzles. Experiments. Sometimes he wanted results more than blood." I gave a soft sigh, leaning back slightly. 

"He and I—" I hesitated. "We weren't friends. But we understood each other. He saw potential in me, and I saw knowledge in him. That mutual respect... it was strange, but it was there. We had our arguments. He threatened me more than once. I threatened him right back. But it never escalated. Never got deadly." Itachi's brow lifted slightly, just a small movement. He didn't interrupt. 

"I guess it was kind of like you and the others," I explained. "You all work together, share a common goal... but none of you are really close. You coexist. You don't trust easily. That was what it was like with Orochimaru. Mutual usefulness. He needed me for my research, and I needed him for the space to do it." I shrugged faintly. 

"It's weird to think about now. I don't miss him. But I also don't..." 

I paused, rethinking the words I was about to say. I was surprised I was going to say them, after everything I went through I didn't think they'd be anything I'd ever say. But now, when I wanted to be honest about my feelings, did they finally come out in their truest form. 

"I don't hate him. Not the way most people do. It's just part of where I've been. Where I turned to. Who I turned to." 

I went quiet after that, letting the fire crackle fill the space where my voice had been. There was no judgment in Itachi's expression. Just that calm focus. I wondered what he was thinking. Whether my answer had given him anything he didn't already know. Finally, he gave a small nod. Like he understood. Or maybe just accepted it. Itachi was still watching the fire, his expression unreadable as usual. But I could tell my words were turning over in his head. He hadn't moved since I finished talking, hadn't looked away once. Then, after a few long, quiet moments, he shook his head slowly. 

"There's no relationship between any of us," he responded. "Not at all. There's only the goal. Nothing else binds us." 

I looked at him as he spoke. His eyes were calm, but there was something heavier behind them. Something worn. 

"Hidan and Kakuzu are dead," he added flatly. 

I blinked. I wasn't surprised. Not really. I just nodded, my voice soft. "That means Asuma's dead too." 

That made Itachi pause. His gaze turned to me again, more directly this time. There was a moment of surprise in his expression. "You knew?" 

I offered a tired shrug. "Yeah." 

He studied me like he was trying to fit the pieces together. Trying to figure out how I could've possibly known something like that when I hadn't spoken to anyone outside of this cave in ages. 

"I'll tell you later," I mumbled, my voice dropping as I rubbed at my eyes. "I'm too tired right now." 

The burden of everything, my chakra exercises earlier, the bath, the emotions, the memories, they had finally caught up to me. I could feel it settling in my bones, making every muscle ache with the kind of exhaustion that wasn't just physical. 

I stood, slowly. My body groaned in protest, but I was used to that. I made my way over to the little spot I'd carved out as my own sleeping area. The same cold patch of stone tucked away near the edge of the cave. 

I was just about to drop down into it when something inside me sighed. Loudly. I stopped. Then turned. 

Without saying anything, I walked back toward him. My feet were quiet against the ground. He didn't move, didn't question me. Just turned his head a little as I approached. 

I sat down beside him, not too close at first. There was a beat of silence between us. The fire snapped and crackled softly, casting a warm glow over his pale skin. 

He didn't ask why I was sitting here. But when he glanced at me again, I met his gaze, and leaned into him slowly. 

I let my shoulder press against his, then rested my head against his upper arm. He went stiff immediately, like he hadn't expected it. Like no one had done something like this in a long time. I felt the hesitation ripple through him. 

But then... he moved. 

One of his arms shifted behind my back, settling around me with cautious care. The other came up across my shoulders, drawing me a little closer. 

I felt his head lean in, resting lightly on my shoulder. His hair tickled my neck, and I could feel the warm exhale of his breath against my collarbone. 

And then... he relaxed. 

Not dramatically. Just enough that I noticed the change in his posture. Like something inside him let go, just for a moment. 

His eyes closed. Mine followed. And for a while, we didn't say anything. The warmth of his body against mine, the steady rhythm of his breathing, the way his hands didn't tremble when they held me, it was all the comfort I didn't know I needed until now. 

No, that I wanted. It was what I wanted. 

The air in the cave still smelled faintly of smoke and rain-soaked earth, and the cold stone beneath us didn't feel quite as unforgiving as it usually did. I let myself relax. Fully, this time. 

I didn't worry about what tomorrow would bring. I didn't spiral into thoughts about the past. I didn't dread waking up. All I focused on was the quiet strength holding me, and the rare, rare truth that for tonight... 

I was safe. Just for tonight. 

I was just here. And I was okay.

A/n So... We all alright? Is this what you wanted? Do you want more? How much? Is there such thing as too much? Enjoy~