Ch 150

The first thing I noticed was the sound of water. 

Not rushing, just moving through the motions calmly. Just, nature unbothered. I couldn't see it yet, not with how heavy my eyelids felt, but I could hear the gentle lap of it against the shore. 

Close. Not close enough to touch. Close enough. 

I shifted, barely, and pain screamed through me like I'd stepped into fire. My left arm was useless. Torn. Slashed open in so many places I couldn't tell where one cut ended and another began. 

The fabric clung to the wounds, soaked stiff with dried blood. My right thigh throbbed deep, sharp. A stab wound. Clean, maybe. Maybe not. It didn't matter. 

There were others too, bruises, slices, burns, I could feel them all like distant, fading memories. Numb, in a way that scared me. 

I opened my eyes. 

Trees. Tall, heavy with green. A canopy above that broke the light into a dappled haze. The ground was moss and dirt beneath me, soft enough that I hadn't frozen, but not exactly comforting. 

I turned my head slowly, just enough to catch the edge of blue beyond the trees. The lake. It was real. Still. Unbothered by the chaos of the world. 

I didn't know where I was. Or how far I'd been taken. Or who had pulled me out. And I didn't care. Whoever it was hadn't stuck around. No fire. No chakra signature lingering in the air. No footprints. Just silence. 

Maybe they thought they were doing me a favor. Saving me. Giving me a second chance. But I didn't feel saved. I felt hollow. 

Every breath hurt. Every inch of my body was either on fire or too cold. The ache had pushed past pain into something worse. I wasn't crying. I couldn't. The tears wouldn't come, even if I wanted them to. 

I just stared at the lake. I wasn't angry. Not anymore. I was just tired. Too tired to run. Too tired to fight. Too tired to keep pretending I could win. So I didn't move. 

I don't know how long I layed here. Could've been minutes. Could've been hours. The light didn't change much. 

Time felt like something outside of me, something I couldn't touch anymore. But the sound of the lake kept pulling at me. 

So I moved. Or tried to. 

My arms pushed against the earth, shaking like they didn't remember how to hold me. My legs followed, barely. The moment I got one foot under me, the other buckled, and I hit the ground hard, breath knocked clean from my lungs. 

Pain flared in my thigh, screaming through my hip and up my spine, but I didn't cry out. I just closed my eyes. Let it happen. Let the earth take me again. 

But I didn't stay down. I don't even know why. Maybe it was instinct. Maybe it was stubbornness. Maybe I just wanted to see something that didn't hurt. I tried again, slower this time. 

One arm, then the other. I braced myself on a nearby tree, fingers digging into bark. My legs trembled so badly I thought they might give out again, but I forced them to lock. I didn't have to walk far. Just to the lake. That was all. 

Step. Drag. Breathe. Repeat. I barely noticed the cuts reopening. The blood soaking through new places. My body was screaming, but it all felt far away. Like it was happening to someone else. 

And then—I made it. I pushed past the last row of trees, stumbled down the small slope, and stopped. The lake was right there. It was beautiful, like the kind you'd only find in paintings. The kind people describe as "peaceful." 

The surface shimmered with pale light, the sky caught in its reflection like it didn't want to let go. There were no ripples. No wind. Just that quiet, endless blue. It looked untouched. Like nothing bad had ever happened here. 

I stood there, swaying, breath ragged, legs shaking, staring at it. And for a moment—I forgot. I forgot the blood, the pain, the running. I forgot the fighting. I forgot Danzo. Root. Konoha. All of it. 

The lake didn't care who I was. Or what I'd done. It just was. And for the first time in days, I felt calm. 

Taking my shoes off, I stepped closer to the edge of the lake, the mud soft beneath my feet. The water lapped gently at the shore, uncaring, steady. 

I stared at my reflection, what was left of it. Blood smeared across my jaw. Dirt streaked through my hair. My eyes looked too sharp, too tired. Not mine. 

The last time I was in the water, it had been a while ago. Not too long, but enough that it wasn't a memory easily remembered. The sun was hot, the water freezing. It felt like a lifetime ago. But now, it felt like yesterday. 

I crouched at the edge now, not caring that my wounds screamed in protest. My fingers hovered just above the surface. The water was still so clear. I could see the smooth stones beneath, the way the light bent through it. 

I touched it lightly. Cold. Not painful. Just honest. I could go in. Just to feel something again. To let it soak through me. To let it pull everything else away. The thoughts. The ache. The noise in my head that hadn't stopped since the fighting started. 

No one was here to stop me. No shouting. No chakra flaring in warning. No hands dragging me back from the edge. Just me. And the water. 

I leaned forward slightly, letting my hand drift deeper, until it disappeared under the surface. Ripples spread from the contact, warping my reflection until I couldn't tell what I looked like anymore. 

Maybe that was better. Maybe I didn't need to recognize myself. Maybe I just needed quiet. And this was the quietest place I'd ever found. 

I stepped into the water slowly. It was cold, but perfect, just enough to remind me I was still here. The surface broke around my legs in gentle ripples, the lake welcoming me without hesitation. No judgment. No resistance. Just space. 

I kept walking, the water rising past my knees, then my hips. Every step pulled the weight from my body, made me lighter. 

My blood mixed with the lake, before disappearing into the clear blue beneath me. I didn't look down. I went deeper, until the water reached my chest, soaking through the torn fabric clinging to my skin. 

I tilted my head back and let the sun warm my face, the contrast between heat and cold enough to keep me anchored. Then I leaned back. My body rose with the water, limbs too heavy to fight it. 

I floated. Just like that. No struggle. No noise. No pain sharp enough to matter. The lake held me like it had been waiting for this moment. My hair spread around me in dark strands. My fingers drifted beside me, weightless. 

Above, the sky stretched wide and blue, so clear it almost hurt to look at. A bird passed somewhere overhead, just a shadow, gone before I could follow it. 

I didn't think. There was nothing left to think. No plans. No escape. No future. No past. Just breath. Just sky. Just water. 

The pain dulled into background static, forgettable. My wounds didn't feel like mine anymore. My body was tired. My mind was blank. I didn't want anything. Didn't need anything. For once, I didn't feel hunted. I didn't feel like a weapon. I just floated, arms open, eyes to the sky. 

Time felt... far away. Like it didn't apply to this place. Just sky, and water, and the soft sound of nothing. 

But eventually, the stillness made space for thought. Not loud ones. Just a quiet question, circling the edge of my mind. Should I take a breath? Not to stay above. To go under. 

It wasn't a dramatic thought. It didn't come with fear or panic or grief. Just... curiosity. Like last time. 

I tilted my head, watching the clouds drift. The sun had warmed my skin, but it hadn't reached anything inside me. That part still felt cold. Hollow. 

One breath. That's all. 

I inhaled slowly, deep. The kind of breath you take when you're ready for something. I didn't know what. I didn't care. 

Then, I let myself sink. The water closed over me gently, like hands cradling my face. The sky vanished. Sound vanished. Everything went soft and blue and distant. 

I sank just far enough for the light to blur, for the world to feel muffled. Coolness wrapped around me, sliding over my skin, seeping into every cut, every burn. It stung in places. But it was clean. 

I opened my eyes underwater, watching the sun ripple through the surface above me, breaking into shattered light. And for the first time in days, my head felt clear. Not fixed. Not healed. Just quiet. 

The water held me like nothing else ever had. No pressure. No questions. No expectations. I hovered there, suspended in the blue, limbs drifting weightlessly, hair floating around me like threads of shadow. 

My eyes stayed open, staring upward toward the fractured surface, where the light danced and blurred, unreachable. 

And I realized something. I always feel like this. Even on land. Even surrounded by people. Suffocated. Like I'm always one breath away from drowning. One step away from breaking. 

Like something is wrapped around my throat, squeezing just tight enough that I never quite get enough air. Every moment since everything started, since him, since them, has felt like I'm trying to breathe through water. 

So maybe this isn't such a bad way to go. If I already feel like I'm suffocating all the time, then this... this is just quieter. Less violent. Less cruel. 

I blinked slowly, the cold seeping deeper now. Numbing me. My shoulder didn't burn anymore. My leg wasn't screaming. The sharp edges of pain dulled to nothing. 

I still had air in my lungs. Enough to push a little longer. Float to the surface if I wanted to. But I didn't. I didn't want to wait anymore. 

The breath I took before I went under, it was enough. It had to be. I didn't want another. I didn't want to need anything. Not even the next second. 

So I opened my mouth. Not wide. Just enough. The air escaped me in slow bubbles, each one rising past my face, spinning upward, desperate to break the surface. 

I watched them go. Watched them run. And I didn't follow. They belonged up there, where the light still danced and the wind still moved. Where people still shouted and chose sides and drew lines in the dirt. But I didn't. I wasn't running. Not anymore. 

Let the world keep spinning. Let Danzo lie. Let the ones who never saw me paint their version of the truth. I didn't want to fight it. Not here. Not in this moment. 

The bubbles vanished above me, swallowed by the sky. My chest ached, but only faintly. The panic that should've come... didn't. Just the stillness. The quiet. 

I closed my eyes. And let myself sink. My throat started to burn. Not like fire, more like pressure. Like something inside me was twisting tight, reminding me I wasn't meant to stay down here. 

That breath I let go... it left behind an emptiness that curled in my chest, growing heavier with every passing second. 

Instinct begged me to breathe. To open my mouth. To pull something in. Anything. But I didn't. Because I knew what would come. Not air. Just water. Cold, heavy, merciless water. It would fill my lungs like glass, spreading into every corner, anchoring me to the bottom. 

So I held still. I'd wait. Wait until it was unbearable. Until every nerve screamed. Until the silence wasn't enough to keep the pain away. Until the burn turned to fire and my body betrayed me. 

Even then—it wouldn't be the worst pain I've felt. I've known worse. Been cut deeper. Torn open in ways no blade could manage. Pain that didn't leave bruises. Just pieces of me scattered across memory, stitched together with silence and pretending. 

This? This was quiet. This was clean. No screams. No chakra surging wild through my veins. No betrayals hidden behind protocol. No one looking at me like I was a problem waiting to happen. 

Just this slow ache in my chest. This rising burn. This empty space where breath should be. It was almost peaceful. So I kept still. Held it in. 

Not because I was afraid of the end. But because I wanted to face it on my terms. Not stolen. Not forced. Not twisted into someone else's story. Just mine. 

And if this pain grew too much... if my body decided it was done? Then fine. Let it come. I was already underwater. What more could they take from me? 

It happened fast. Too fast. My body snapped before my mind did. One second, I was motionless, floating in silence, holding the pain like it was mine to choose. The next, my chest convulsed. A desperate gasp. 

My mouth opened, and water flooded in. Cold. Brutal. Unforgiving. It punched into my lungs like ice, rushing down my throat, filling the emptiness I'd been trying to keep quiet. 

I choked, a violent spasm I couldn't stop. My body twisted, legs kicking, arms flailing, not with purpose, but with need. I didn't tell it to move. I didn't want it to. But it did anyway. 

Some buried part of me still wanted to survive. Even after everything. 

I thrashed, instincts taking over, muscles jerking painfully through the weight of the water. My left arm barely moved, too torn, too broken, but my right reached upward, toward the shimmer of light far above. 

I kicked weakly, dragging myself higher. Every movement sent agony through my thigh, through my ribs, but it didn't matter. I couldn't breathe. My chest screamed, lungs burning, already filled with what they couldn't use. 

My vision blurred, the blue of the lake closing in like a tunnel. But still, I moved. I fought. Even as panic clawed at the edges of my mind. Even as I coughed and choked and felt the edges of the world darken. 

Somehow... I wanted to live. Not because things were better. Not because I believed they would be. But because something in me refused to go out like this. Not like this. 

My fingers stretched upward, breaking toward the surface, so far, so close. 

Please. 

Please.

Then, my limbs started to slow. First my legs, heavy, sluggish kicks that barely stirred the water. Then my arms, reaching upward but falling short, trembling under their own weight. 

The world above felt impossibly far now, like I'd never even been close. Like the surface had only been a dream. 

The burn in my lungs didn't matter anymore. It was gone. So was the panic. No more pain. No more fear. Just... fog. 

It crept into my mind like mist curling through a forest. My thoughts slowed, fading into one another until there was nothing left to hold on to. No memories. No fight. Just nothing. 

The water had won. 

It didn't pull me down violently, it didn't have to. It just waited. Patient and endless. And now, it had me. Completely. 

I stopped moving. My body floated limply in the blue. The ache in my shoulder, the stab in my thigh, the blood loss, all of it, gone. 

I was weightless. Drifting in this cold, gentle nothing. And somehow, it was almost... blissful. 

This was it. 

The end. 

Not in a blaze of glory. Not in a final stand. Just me, sinking into silence. Not chased. Not hunted. Just gone. I closed my eyes. Let it happen. 

But then, I felt something. A shift in the water. A current that didn't belong. 

I opened my eyes, slow and dazed, blinking through the blur. Something was coming. Dark. Moving fast. Cutting through the water with a power I didn't have anymore. It wasn't the shape of a fish. Not natural. Not random. It had purpose. 

A silhouette, humanoid, but shadowed. Closer now. My heart stuttered once in my chest, a tiny flicker of something I couldn't name. Hope? Fear? I didn't know. 

But I knew one thing, as it reached for me: I wasn't alone.

A/n Sorry, I made it sad. I actually was going to make it happy but then I got a better idea on how to wrap up Ishi's arc. Also, don't happy chapters feel better when they are earned? When it comes after the storm? You know there's going to be a rainbow, but you have to wait and be patient. It will get better (I love you all!!) Enjoy~