Ch 130

This is getting ridiculous. 

I need to actually start speaking up or these people might think I'm here to provoke them. 

"I don't really know much about what people think of me, I know I was recently put in the bingo books but that's about it. I've been basically cut off from the world." 

Of my own choosing. But I should at least try to figure out how to get off their bad side, I don't know what they think of me, but I know it's nothing good. 

Tsunade was on one to speak this time, answering me without truly giving me a direct answer. "The bingo book has you as a jounin level threat, and have been seen associating with Kage level threats." 

I raised a brow, surprised that I was with so many strong people that it is literally what I am known for. But now that I think about it, it made sense. 

Damn, how out of it have I been for the last while?

"Oh really? Jounin level? That's interesting, I don't remember really fighting anyone..." I trailed off, rethinking my words as I realized that no, I do remember. "Now that I think about it, I fought many strong people and the results have been on my side." 

I had an epiphany at the wrong time. I feel like I just threatened them. 

But seriously, I've been avoiding fights because I didn't like them, not because I was weak, even if I think I am. Like seriously, how was I supposed to find out if I am or am now, test it out? 

No! 

An awkward silence stretched on, everyone watching, and I decided to just out with it. This won't be pretty but nothing could make it any better so welp. 

"I don't want to fight," I said, breaking the stillness, my voice surprisingly steady, despite mentally cursing myself in my head. "But that doesn't mean I won't defend myself if necessary. We are here to talk, if you thought I was a threat, I wouldn't be here." 

Tsunade's gaze softened just slightly, but her expression remained unreadable. This was directed at her, and it seemed my words weren't going over her head. 

Shikaku noticed her reaction too, staring at me like I was a puppeteer pulling the strings. I don't know why this man has such a grudge against me. 

I was around him all the time when I was younger, I know he had a soft spot for me. Now look where we are. 

Shikamaru wasn't any better, almost mirroring his father's reactions. Getting through to any of the Nara's would be a fools game. 

Even last time when I was with Shikaku, he saw through me. They are not the ideal target. 

Same thing with team Asuma as a whole, I don't have that much of a relationship with any of them. Never really spoke to Ino or Choji either. Not that emotional kind that I did with others. 

Team Kakashi is also out. Kakashi doesn't look happy to see me, and I don't have any relationship with Sakura, Sai, or Yamato. 

Wait... 

I saw Sai when I was with Orochimaru. 

"Hey," I started, pointing over at Sai. "He saw me when I was with... him." I didn't want to say his name out loud, I felt like that would cause the mood to go over more sour. 

Now being in the spotlight, Sai and Sakura stepped forwards after silently watching everything. He didn't look too surprised by it all, almost expecting to put his input in this meeting. Sakura however, was only looking at me with anger. 

Now that was interesting. 

"It is true, I did meet her." Sai announced to the room, but more so to Tsunade and Shikaku, the leading judges in the court. 

"I've already asked you about this matter, but please say it again." Kakashi raised his hand, allowing Sai to speak. 

I sighed, of course they talked after Sai came back. So I was right. They knew I was alive. 

"Ishi," he started, putting emphasis on my name. "Was known as Hitori there, and seemed to be working with Orochimaru. He addressed her in front of me only once, asking her to 'look into it' because she knew more than he did." That caused a stir into the room, obviously raising more questions. 

"And how did their relationship seem?" Shikaku asked. 

Sai answered, "I am not the best person to ask in terms of relationships, but it wasn't exactly a distant relationship. Nor was it completely hostile." 

Now I almost regret asking for him to come forward. While his words, I hate to admit it, were true. But it was very complicated. 

"Obviously, I spent a few years with them. If we were just arguing the whole time, I wouldn't be here. As in breathing." 

Kakashi, quick as ever, had a comeback. "Yet you left and still are alive, are you not?" 

I let out a deep, audible sigh, annoyed but also just tired. Yes, yes that was true. I didn't bother acknowledging him, I just looked towards Tsunade. 

She crossed her arms, finally asking the million dollar question. "Why do you want to come back?" 

This was the question in everybody's minds. The question that could lead to my acceptance or rejection. 

Yet, even now when asked. Even I am drawing a blank. Why did I want to come back? I could make up thousands of answers, and they still wouldn't be the exact one I was looking for. 

"Probably for all the wrong reasons, probably all the reasons that you all came up with." 

There is no straight answer I could give, there is no simple answer that anyone will have. Many have already come up with some and in their minds, it is the truth. 

I am ambiguous in their minds, everyone has their own interpretation of my actions. Everyone has their own opinion about my being. Everyone sees me differently. And they know it. So do I. 

No one knows Ishi Uchiha, and if they did, she no longer exists. 

First one to speak up was Anko, she was the first one to ask. "Orochimaru isn't good enough anymore?" 

That is not the reason, not at all. 

"He is still technically an option, but I refuse." 

I will not pretend that I still can't go back to him, I can. But I don't want to. I left alive, which means Orochimaru doesn't want me dead. That is no secret. And obviously he trusts me to a certain extent. I can't just lie about that. 

"Any particular reason you refuse?" Shikaku was interested in the topic, he wanted to know more about why I left in the first place. 

But I won't tell him. I need someone with sympathy at the moment, and he doesn't look to be giving me any pity for awhile. 

"Personal and private. I'd only tell Tsunade. Excuse me, the 5th Hokage about it." 

She furrowed her brow, but I didn't have enough time to tell what she was thinking before Shikaku spoke again. "She'd tell us after." 

It was like he thought I'd think Tsunade would keep it a secret from them. 

I know. 

"Yes she would, but by that point everyone would've come to a conclusion. I'm here, or I'm not." There's no way to sugarcoat this, there is a good chance that they will not let me come back. 

But I'm fine with that. 

I'll be fine. 

Just fine. 

I'll work something out. 

"If we decide to not let you, what then? Will you be our enemy again?" 

At this I paused, confusion on my face. Again? When was I they're enemy? 

Ohh, the Konoha crash. But I wasn't... you know what, it doesn't matter. They probably think whatever it was, I did it out of spite. 

"Why would I want to be enemies with you?" This was my home, even if it isn't anymore, I was still born here. 

"That's what we're wondering," Shikaku responded. 

I sighed, "You've done nothing to get on my bad side." At least none of the people here. 

But I do know many people I would just love to get my hands on. 

"So once we do, you'll be an enemy?" Kakashi accused. 

I could seriously say, that no, I won't be. But would they believe me? 

"Would you believe me if I say no? What if I do become one?" 

I had to suppress a little smile on my face because I do admit, the provoking did work there. 

This was definitely planned, good cop bad cop, you know? Kakashi isn't like this. And even if he was, someone would've stopped it if it wasn't planned. 

"We could just detain you now." 

Ah, there it is! I did not want to come back here like a prisoner in chains, nor do I want to end this with me being one. 

"Most definitely, but that would mean you won't back on your word, and the world is never kind to those who betray. Plus, I'd fight back. I said this many times. I wouldn't want to take any lives, but I don't know the same with you. It wouldn't be easy, are you willing to take that risk?" 

My words finally had some bite in them. Is this how they want me to act? Do they seriously want me to be the villain so badly? 

I don't know what to say. 

Do they seriously not want me to come back because I get that they are trying to provoke me to see if this is all an act, but this is too far. I really wanna come back here but they are making it hard. 

I have been mostly calm this whole time, and I want to keep it up. But this is hard. My emotional state has been a jump rope. A colourful fury of whatever situation warrants or just the opposite. And they are making it really hard to not act out in the way they want me to be like. 

There is silence in the room after what I said, bits of disappointment could be seen on some of their faces and I don't blame them. I am also disappointed. In them and myself. 

"You took that risk," Tsunade said softly, bringing me back from my anger. 

I took a deep breath, steadying my heart as a smile gently at her, "I did, now we're going to see if it will pay off."

A/n Midterms are done and exam season is right around the corner. I hope school and work for you guys have been better for you then me. Enjoy~