Ch 104

"Isn't it harder to not kill them? You should be praising me, I kept your resources alive and intact."

Get off my back, I am still going through it and dealing with these guys. Orochimaru must've heard my thoughts as he kept silent and continued watching me like a hawk. 

Why would I kill them? They were just a bunch of lackeys. 

I brandished a fake smile, staring with half-lidded eyes as the next guy came forward. It's just one after the other, they never stop. 

I regret doing this already. I'm so tired. I bit the inside of my cheek in annoyance and impatience, wanting to be done with this whole ordeal. 

I don't even need to talk about the next guy who came forward, he was just as easy to back down. A coward, at least throw hands with me more than once. 

I could feel my eyes become moist as my anger suddenly surged. I don't know where it came from, I felt like a volcano, ready to erupt, each breath heavy. Actually, I do know where it came from. 

I just refused to admit it... 

My train of thought is a mess, I can barely have a straight thought before another comes. With each opponent I took down, I felt both exhilarated and hollow. 

A lie... 

I wiped the sweat from my brow, taking a moment to catch my breath. 

The fight was a temporary distraction... 

One. two. Three. They all go down. I don't even bother with remembering what happened with the fight, all I know is that they are not getting back up for one reason or another. 

But as I continued fighting recklessly, I finally realized why I didn't get into as many fights. It wasn't because I thought I was too weak for them, I knew I wasn't. 

I was specifically avoiding them. The feeling of my fist to someone's face, or a kick to the stomach, wasn't satisfying. It wasn't something I enjoyed. I don't like fighting, it isn't my thing. 

There are the occasional times where I do have fun and I do sometimes seek them out. But in the grand majority, I don't like it. 

Verbal fighting is alright, I find that very amusing. But physical fighting is just, alright most of the time. 

And right now, fighting these guys doesn't do anything for me. Another attacker lunged, and I caught his wrist, twisting it until he yelped in pain. 

I do this a lot, and the same way. None of them can stop me. I shoved him away, watching as he stumbled back. 

I didn't even hit this one, I just push and push until they all leave me alone... 

I stared blankly at the last one standing, the last guy who looked absolutely nervous. Why, I'm not killing any of you guys? 

I glanced around the room, most were awake and watching. They seemed fine, many a little bruised up but better than what others could have done. 

What I could have done. 

I looked around at the fallen fighters, breathing heavily, the adrenaline slowly fading. I've gained nothing from this. But I still have one more. 

Finally, I can... 

He went for it, like all the others. I didn't care, I just kicked him in the solar plexus, knocking the air out of his lunges. 

There, I'm done... 

Not yet, as he stood up. I sighed, turning to face him again as he tried his luck. I didn't kick him this time, I went for his head. I punch, the same punch I did with many others. 

Good, now I can... 

No, he got right back up. I frowned at the last fighter, who had the audacity to rise again. My fists were clenched so tightly that my knuckles turned white. 

I felt the heat of anger seep into every fiber of my being, and I launched at him, landing a final blow that sent him crashing to the floor.

As I stood over him, my chest heaving, I let the moment settle. I had let off steam, but it left a bitter taste. The guy tried his best, and he's still going. He's still trying to get up. I could feel myself wincing slightly. 

Not sure if it was because of him, or... 

Oh ya, now I know what this is. I'm coping, so that's what this is. 

I'm trying to find a good way to... 

My head hurts. Maybe the punch did something to me. But I'm so angry. Why am I angry? 

But the real question is... 

Why am I crying? I could feel the tears going down my face for the past minute but I didn't register them until now. 

They were clear hot tears, one that I'm sure will get the people to raise a brow in confusion. But I'll be with them. 

I didn't bother wiping them, I could feel my eyes sting and how my throat hurt. That's how I knew I could be crying for a while. 

But then I looked at the last guy again, I finally looked at him. 

He was average looking, brown hair and eyes. But that look, the look he was giving me. 

He reminds me of Naruto...

Kabuto was stunned by the display in front of him. He was absolutely astonished by what just happened right before his eyes. 

Ishi, what was going through your mind? 

He was wondering, theorizing and questioning when Orochimaru slowly stepped forward. 

"Lord Orochimaru?" 

He didn't ask anything in particular, but his question was obvious. 

What are you going to do now? 

Kabuto stayed where he was, along with Sasuke, who was just as surprised. 

Orochinmaru dismissed all the men who were in the room with a flick of his wrist, not sparing a glance at them. 

His eyes were just on Ishi, passed out on the floor. 

She looked absolutely miserable. She didn't look good since she got here, but that was to be expected. But he hadn't thought that it would be this drastic. 

He bent down to the young lady's level, surveying the scene. Analyzing every aspect of what just occurred. 

A weary soul, eyes glazed and movements mechanical, masked emotions beneath a fragile smile, lost in thoughts, drifting through days without realizing the weight they carry. 

How poetic that that girl is now in Orochimaru's clutches. 

He raised his hand to her face, wiping the tears that continued to flow even after she was out. 

Carefully, he picked her up in his arms and walked out of the room. He didn't display any emotions on his face, he didn't seem amused, nor disgusted. Yet he wasn't apathetic. 

No one but Orochimaru knew what was going through his mind. He looked down at Ishi, she was in deep slumber due to being exhausted, but it was anything but peaceful. 

She was strong, yes, but strength had its limits.

A/n I was trying to make it that Ishi's thoughts were kind of scattered and random at times. She had a lot of her mind and wanted it left it out through fighting, but it didn't work. And from the physical part of it, she slowly loses her smile and gets worse before she's finally out. Not really good at unreliable narrator but I'll get better. Enjoy~