8

8: I Cried Again...

I was still alone when someone joined me. I looked over finding someone unfamiliar. "나래 맞죠? 저는 종호입니다. 저는 이 배의 막내입니다." (Narae, right ? I am Jongho. I am the youngest aboard this ship.) I shook his hand as I noticed the scars that covered his hands. "What caused those ?"

He chuckled as he glanced at his hands before looking back at me. "The scars ? They came from before. I unfortunately couldn't avoid them..." Couldn't avoid them ? Why wouldn't he avoid scars ? "What happened ? You sound like..."

Jongho smirked, "제 말이 당신처럼 들리죠? 떠돌이 같다고요?" (I sound like you, right ? Like a Drifter ?) I quickly nodded which caused Jongho to laugh some more. I didn't have any scars, but I know it couldn't have been easy for his to accept his scars...

"Are you a Drifter ? How is that possible ?" Jongho sighed as he could sense where my mind was going. "I am not a Drifter, Narae. Though your lifestyle sounds complicated & stressful... I can tell you wouldn't trade your lifestyle for anything else." I smiled. Probably smiled the widest smile I have all day, "True. I wouldn't know how to live if I wasn't a Drifter. It is all I got..."

A cool breeze flowed through the air, amplifying the scent of salt from the sea. Home. Oddly, this felt like home to me. "Narae, can I ask you something honestly ?" I gestured for him to ask while I sat on the rail of the ship where we stood. Still cautious, of course. "Ask away."

"If you value the Drifter lifestyle... why did you leave it ?" My smile dropped as I remembered what I was told. They found me in town unconscious with no one willing to help me. Then I thought back to my family. The very family in shambles...

"안 놔뒀어요, 종호 씨. 그냥 시간이 없었어요. 아버지가 시간을 내주지 않을 거예요. 엄마가 거짓말을 했어요. 그럼 어떻게 제 자신을 의심하지 않을 수 있겠어요? 그게 없으면 나는 누구일까요? 거짓말쟁이?" (I didn't leave it, Jongho. I just wasn't free. My father won't make time for me. My mother lied to me. So how could I not doubt myself ? Who am I supposed to be without it ? A liar ?)

"You're still you, Narae. That won't change." This alone brought me to tears... Tears I never wanted to cry again. It hurt...

I remembered sliding down to the deck as the sobs came out of me. How long have I sobbed ? I have no idea.

Then there was blissful peacefulness...