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happy st. patricks day! enjoy two chapters for the holiday! ☘️ 

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"Saedii."

At the sound of her name, Saedii turned. The voice had been familiar. Like she'd heard it in another lifetime. A better lifetime.

The hall around her was empty. Dead silent. In the muted light, it took her a moment to recognize one of the halls from the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. Plain sandstone floors stretched before her; empty walls that used to be decorated with tapestries.

Empty.

It was lifeless and dead. Nothing at all like the Temple she'd once known.

Saedii hesitated, afraid to go forward. Afraid of what she would find the further she walked down this hall. There was nothing left here – nothing but dust and ghosts and memories.

Bright light came in through the open windows. Too bright. Saedii couldn't see anything outside of them – not the gardens or the courtyard or even the bustling city just beyond. Nothing but white light.

"Saedii."

That voice again. Now that she was listening for it, she recognized it at once.

Plo's voice.

Down the hall, the double doors to the Council room opened. Just a crack. A summons.

Her legs felt like lead as she took a step towards them. Fear crushed her throat, making it hard to breathe. Her chest felt heavy and tight. Something burned in the back of her eyes, and she swallowed to keep the tears from flowing.

She was afraid. She didn't want to know what was waiting for her in the Council room.

Was this just a dream? A memory? How was she supposed to know what she'd find if she kept going?

And there was another fear, as well. A deeper one.

What if it wasn't Plo waiting for her? What if it was the Sith lord that he had become?

She had barely survived Darth Vader once. She wouldn't survive him again. Not now. Not with how empty and broken she felt on the inside.

A ragged breath scraped from her mouth. In her chest, her heart beat against her breastbone like the powering of an ion engine, threatening to consume her. The silence in the hall was so heavy that Saedii could actually hear every frenzied pump of her heart.

"I need you, little one," Plo called softly.

Her eyes shut, burning once again. Somehow, she knew that she had to go. That this dream or memory or nightmare – or whatever this was – wouldn't end until she spoke with the voice calling to her. One way or another, the end waited through those open doors.

One foot rose. Then the other. Slowly, methodically, Saedii followed the familiar path down the hall. Passing the empty walls that had once held their histories. Passing doors that once held memories. In the silence, her footsteps echoed far too loud. Banging like gongs.

The hand that reached for the door shook before her. Heavy wood was rough beneath her fingers as she pushed, widening the gap between the empty doors.

The Council room was filled with that same strange light. All the windows were flooded with it, blocking the view of the city beyond. It made Saedii squint, too bright and dim all at once.

No furniture remained in the room. The chairs that had once been used for Council members were gone, leaving the bare expanse of the floor. The flower embedded into the stone was all that remained. The only remnant of the Order that used to call this temple home.

"There you are."

Plo was waiting for her, hands clasped behind his back. He was dressed in long billowing white robes, similar in style to what he had worn around the ship when they rested between missions. At his belt, his lightsaber hung within easy reach.

Saedii stared at it. It was the same that he had borne all through the Clone Wars. The same hilt she had seen at Darth Vader's belt. And she knew just what that blade was capable of in his hands. How much death it could bring.

"Hello, little one," he said pleasantly. "I've been waiting for you."

Meeting his eyes was difficult. The fear that Krell had implanted into her head was still there, and the sight of him made her body tense. Made her hands reach for lightsabers that weren't there.

"You do not need to fear. I will not hurt you."

"You've hurt me before. On Nur," Saedii said. Then frowned. "Do you know what you have become? What you've done?"

Heaviness drew his brow down. Softly, he admitted, "Darth Vader is not who I am. He is a darkness that was created by Sidious to inhabit my lifeless body. A spirit created from the darkest parts of myself."

She tensed. "How is that possible?"

"The Dark Side is capable of many impossibilities," Plo explained. "Darth Sidious knew just how to twist and torment the last part of my soul that lingered within my physical body. Had I not clung to life, he never would have created Darth Vader."

"I thought you were dead."

"I was not. Not fully, at least." His eyes softened as he looked at her. "I lingered for you, little one. In the hopes that I could see you once again."

Saedii stumbled a step back. "You became Darth Vader because of me?"

"Not because of you. Because of Sidious. He exploited my desperate need to be reunited with you, and used that to twist the part of me that still remained."

Her fault. Once again, it was all her fault –

Plo stepped closer. "I do not blame you, little one. And I did not call you here to make you feel guilt for my own choices."

"Then why am I here? And where are we?"

"We are here because I need your help."

Deep sadness and remorse etched into every inch of Plo's face. When he looked at her, Saedii was startled to see a desperation that she had never seen in him before.

"I need you to kill me."

Saedii stumbled back another step. The tears that had threatened suddenly spilled over and down her cheeks. She shook her head.

"You must," Plo insisted, following that step with one of his own. "So long as my body remains under the control of Darth Vader, my spirit cannot cross. I am trapped, little one. You must set me free."

"I can't," Saedii choked.

"You must.

"No." She blinked more tears down her cheeks. Lips trembling. "Please don't make me do this. I can't do it. I can't –"

"I need you, Saedii. I need to be freed."

But Saedii still remembered all of the terrible things that had been done to her on Nur. Remembered the tombs and Krell's nightmares. Darth Vader's manipulation.

She had already suffered enough.

"Ask someone else," Saedii begged him. "Anakin or Obi-Wan – anyone else. Please."

"It must be you."

Saedii wrapped her arms around herself. It felt like she was breaking apart. Like the fault lines that had already been sowed within her were yawning and splitting, tearing her apart from the bleeding seams.

Plo continued, "You are the only one that can free me. You must help me."

"No! No, please! Please! Stop!"

"Please...stop..."

Saedii jolted awake.

Her plea echoed in her ears, too loud even if her cry had been nothing more than a whisper. A hand fumbled at her throat in the dark, searching for something.

Cold stone met her fingers. She froze.

It took her slow mind several moments to realize that she had only been dreaming. That the Council room and Plo hadn't been real, though the fresh tears on her cheeks were. The rock in her hand proved that this was reality – that she was not trapped in a strange, too bright room with the ghost of her master, but curled up here in her bed in one of Phee's spare rooms.

Across the room, the outline of Omega gave a soft sigh in sleep and rolled over. Another memory came to her: Hunter and Echo shoving a spare bed in through the doorway. There hadn't been enough rooms now that Kalth was here. Saedii had volunteered to share.

Arms tightening around herself, Saedii turned her face into the pillow and tried to slow her breathing. The dream had felt real. The desperation, Plo's pleas – it had gutted her. Driven a sharp spike straight into her heart.

The blanket that rested over her shoulders suddenly felt too thin. The room too cold. Hours ago, she'd showered off all the grime and gore from Teth and changed into a tank top and shorts that Phee gave to her. At the time, she'd just been grateful for the change of clothes, but now she was freezing.

The blanket Plo had given her was by her pillow. Hunter had brought it in for her, though Saedii had been half asleep by then. She grabbed it now, bringing it to her face and inhaling deeply. A very faint smell of old leather still clung to the soft fibers.

In her chest, the wild beating of her heart continued as Saedii closed her eyes, trying to go back to sleep. The clock on her bedside told her that she'd only been asleep a few hours. That dawn was still far off.

But it was no use.

Each time she closed her eyes, there was something terrible waiting for her – the sight of Cere's lifeless body crumpling beneath a red lightsaber, Warthog's sightless eyes staring up from the floor, Gregor's back drenched in blood as he laid limp in the mud, dozens and dozens of bodies scattered amongst a field of blood.

Air suddenly felt too thin in her lungs. She choked against it, trying to slow down her breathing. To relax even as every nerve ending in her body began to flare with panic. With remorse.

So many dead troopers. So many dead friends.

Death was everywhere.

Inescapable.

Tears burned down her cheeks as she squeezed her eyes shut. As she curled in on herself, trying to squeeze out the rush of agony and grief that pooled in her chest. That curved around every nerve until her whole body felt like it was humming with it. Like it was going to break –

The door creaked open.

Saedii moved on instinct.

Her hand curled around the lightsaber beneath her pillow, pulling it out as she engaged it. Blue light flared, casting the dark room in shades of cerulean and sapphire. Illuminating the small, intimate space and the figure that suddenly paused in the doorway.

Kalth's eyes looked black in the dim light. Not fully black, but like space with flecks of silver stars. They zeroed in on her and the lightsaber in her hand as Saedii crouched on her bed, lightsaber before her.

After a few heartbeats, Saedii disengaged it.

She hadn't seen Kalth all day. Once they'd made it to Phee's place, he'd gone straight to his room and hadn't left. Not even for food. All of Hunter's efforts to get him to come down had been met with steely silence.

In fact, all Kalth had lived in was silence for the past twenty-four hours. The two of them hadn't spoken since they'd been on the flight deck on Teth, when he'd tried to convince her to run with him. To leave the Batch.

He hadn't left though. He could have gone at the first sign of trouble. All his gear and his ship had been ready.

But he'd stayed.

Dark bruises peppered his face and his arms. He'd been given a change of clothes too – not the white pajamas they'd worn on Teth but a sleeveless shirt and sweatpants, both of which looked like they belonged to Tech. The grey against his skin made him look deathly pale in the moonlight that trickled in through Saedii's windows.

Together, both glanced at Omega, but neither the door nor Saedii's lightsaber had woken her. Silently, Kalth closed the door behind him.

His eyes went over her face, taking in whatever expression was there. They lingered along her damp cheeks, brows drawing down. His eyes, Saedii realized, were just as haunted and distant as she felt.

With exaggerated slowness, Kalth reached out and pulled the blanket aside. Lithely, he climbed into the bed beside her, giving her a little tap on the arm that clearly said scoot over.

She did, making room as he grabbed a spare pillow and laid it beside hers. Not looking at her, he fluffed it twice, getting it to his liking, before he let out a small sigh and laid down.

Saedii watched him, startled. The two of them had often shared beds when they were younger. As kids, Saedii had gone through a phase where she'd had nightly terrors that had sent her scurrying from her bed and into his. Once they'd reached ten, the nightmares had stopped and Saedii had kept to her own bed.

His warmth washed over her, heating the mattress that had felt too cold only moments ago. Minty breath washed over her and his own scent, familiar and yet alien to her. That tight ball that had wound in her chest slowly began to unwind.

With only the slightest hesitation, Saedii laid back down, body turned towards Kalth. Facing him as he closed his eyes in the darkness.

One of his hands suddenly moved to the foot of space between them. Palm up, he curled it open. An invitation.

Her good hand wound into his. A soft sigh escaped before she could help it as his long fingers curled around hers, enveloping her freezing hand with his. The warmth of his skin felt lovely.

His quiet presence soothed the ache in her chest. Chased away the sharp fear and guilt and grief that had nipped at her since she'd woken from her nightmare. Soon, even the tears on her cheeks dried.

Saedii closed her eyes, breathing in his scent.

This time when she slept, there were no nightmares to wake her.