34

The floor was making her back hurt.

Saedii had tucked herself into the far corner, in the small gap between the bed and the wall. It gave her a perfect view of her cell and the hallway beyond while covering her back. A safe vantage point for her to plot her escape.

A thorough search of the cell had shown her that this wouldn't be easy. There were no weak spots for her to exploit. Nowhere for her to escape except for the glowing door before her, which hadn't yielded to any of her attempts to break it. She was, for the time being, trapped.

Krell was certainly making it hard for her. Maybe this was the punishment – not what she did after. Maybe he planned to make her wait in here for months. Years.

He'd made her wait before. Sometimes, the nightmares had lasted whole days. Once, even a week where she'd crawled injured through the jungles of Corilynth, trying to kill off every surviving member of the 104th. It had been excruciating, waiting to break free. To return to darkness and bliss.

If he was making her wait, it would wreck her. But then again, that was what he wanted. Why he sent her back into these nightmares instead of her cell. He was trying to break her resolve.

It was working.

Echo watched her impassively from the hall. His eyes hadn't left her once, even as she'd gone over every inch of her room. Even when she'd stood on the bed and tested for loose places in the ceiling.

His attention was grating her nerves. He watched her with so much remorse – so much pity. It was different than how he usually looked at her.

"Are you hungry?" he finally asked after what felt like hours. Saedii had been sitting for so long that her legs were going numb.

She continued glaring at him. It was the first time he'd spoken since Hunter left. She wished that he would just let her out. That something would happen.

"You look like you haven't had a good meal in –"

The shattering of her plate and glass against the door was her answer.

Echo didn't even flinch. "Well, if you change your mind, we can bring you something later."

Saedii's head lurched back against the wall.

"You know, we looked for you. Every day since you were taken," he tried again. His voice was thick this time.

This wasn't new. Echo and the rest had told her dozens of times how hard they'd tried to find her. How they'd searched every corner of the galaxy. It had stopped making her sad by the fifth or sixth time she'd heard it.

"Everyone did – Rex, Wolffe, the Jedi. Padme even met with a few of her senate contacts to see if they knew anything," he continued. "But us especially. We were out every day, searching every star system."

Except Mustafar, she thought bitterly.

He let out a harsh breath. "Nearly lost our heads for it, too, a few times. We went back to Ryloth. Infiltrated Corellia. Even went to Coruscant and rummaged through the old Temple there. We never gave up."

Her prosthetic hand flexed. She was so sick of hearing them say that.

"We rescued Omega months ago. We'd hoped they'd keep the two of you together, but it wasn't that simple."

This again. How many times had Krell tortured her with images of a future where Omega was alive? Flashes of what could have happened if Omega had made it off Wayland, only for Saedii to bring it all to ruins?

Or was she alive? It was hard to remember what was real and what wasn't anymore.

"Nala Se was the one who helped us find you. Omega taught her our emergency channels. After your break in, Nala Se was able to get a message to us. Told us you'd mentioned Nur," he said. His jaw ticked. "It made me sick. We'd passed by there once or twice, but we'd been sure they would have taken you to one of their bigger strongholds. We had no idea the size of the Imperial fortress on Nur."

If he was trying to get her to talk, he wouldn't succeed. Saedii had no desire to talk to him.

As if he could sense her resignation, Echo leaned back in his chair.

There were muffled footsteps then. Heading in their direction. Echo glanced up as they pealed down the hall, far too loud and heavy.

"How's she doing?" Wrecker asked, voice too loud as usual. When he came into view, a massive white neck brace nearly obscured his face.

"Still not talking. Or eating."

Wrecker turned to face her. "Hey, kid. Glad to see you."

The look she gave him made it clear the feeling wasn't mutual.

He turned back to Echo. "She wants to see her. She keeps asking if she can come down."

For a moment, Saedii thought he was talking about her. But then Echo gave a small sigh and said, "It's too dangerous for her right now. Saedii broke Tech's arm and nearly snapped your neck. Until we know she won't hurt anyone, Omega needs to stay away."

Omega. Of course.

Secretly, Saedii had been hoping that Omega wouldn't be in this nightmare. She always hated having to hurt her. Even after all these times.

"That's what we told her, but she's getting impatient," Wrecker reported. "Cross thinks she's going to try and sneak down."

"Keep an eye on her."

"Don't worry. Cross is watching her."

Echo leaned around Wrecker's massive form to look at Saedii again. "Omega's worried about you. She wants to see you."

"Omega's dead," Saedii snapped. It was what Krell had wanted her to believe.

Wrecker and Echo both stared at her. At once, Wrecker stated, "She's just upstairs. We'd let you see her, but we're afraid you'd hurt her."

"Omega was shot down over Wayland."

"No, she's wasn't." Echo was leaning forward. "We rescued her from Wayland."

"Though she was doing pretty good on her own. Another week or so and she would have gotten herelf out," Wrecker added.

Saedii scoffed. Did Krell really think she'd fall for this?

"That's how we were able to find you," Wrecker finished. "If you hadn't gone to Wayland, then Nala Se wouldn't have –"

"If I hadn't gone to Wayland, Kalth would still be alive," Saedii muttered.

Echo stood. "Saedii, Kalth is upstairs. He's alive, too."

There was a brief flash of memory: Kalth lying in a pool of his blood, face pale, telling her to run. She shut her eyes, trying to block it out.

"He is. We rescued him when we got you out, and another Jedi. A woman named Cere Junda. AZI is looking after them –"

"Cere is dead, too."

"She's alive. Just like Kalth and Omega –"

"Stop!" Saedii turned a baleful look towards the ceiling. Her voice was loud enough that Krell would be able to hear. "Just stop it!"

Wrecker's expression fell. "We're just trying to help –"

"You're tormenting me. That what this is for – all of this." Emotion made her throat tight before she could help it. She swallowed against the thick knot in her throat. "Please, just let me go."

The air was warm and sweet-smelling. Around her, the Force had grown gentle and timid. Krell's disapproval didn't swell like usual. Nor did his voice ring in her ear. For once he was silent.

Very slowly, Echo said, "You're not a prisoner. We're not holding you captive. You're free."

"I'm not free. Not until I've killed you, like always."

"What do you mean like always?"

Her careful control finally snapped. The Force sparked to life beneath her as she wrapped it around the small hovertable before her, slamming it into the door. The metal dented with a loud bang as it collided with the solid light, bounding onto the floor.

"Enough with the bullshit," she raged, getting to her feet. The doorframe shuddered as she directed her wrath at it next, but held steady. The light never once waivered.

Wrecker and Echo were still as she paced before them like a caged animal. Panic was beginning to set in – all the emotions she'd carefully held at bay were now slowly breaking free. All the anger at the monotony of the visions; all her fear at never breaking free from this one.

She just wanted darkness. Wanted peace.

Why wasn't Krell letting her out?

"I know my role. I know what I have to do," she said to him – not Echo or Wrecker, but Krell, who was waiting somewhere far away. "I've always done what I needed to and I'll do it again if you'll just let me out."

"What will you do?" Echo asked brittlely.

Saedii stared him down. "Do you know how many times I've killed you? All of you?"

If it was possible for Echo to get any paler, he would have. At his back, Wrecker's mouth dropped in horror.

"I don't either. I've lost count."

Echo's body was tense. "Saedii, you've never hurt us."

"Not for real."

It was out before she could stop it.

She hadn't meant to say it. Hadn't meant to tip Krell off that she could sift through the visions. She'd just been angry – at Echo's questions, at her own helplessness, everything.

Horror was washing through the Force. Was that Krell's horror or her own? It was hard to tell in this nonexistent dream world. Not when Krell's emotions often felt like her own.

There was no point in trying to hide it now.

"None of this is real!" she shouted, turning her attention to the cell around her. "I know that it's not and I don't care! I'll do whatever you want just to make it stop! Please, just let me out!"

"Who are you talking to?" Echo's voice was strangled.

Maybe it was the perfect pretense of this nightmare compared to the others. Maybe it was the way Echo and Wrecker were looking at her with concern instead of scorn. Or maybe Saedii had finally just had enough of Krell's mind games. Whatever it was, the gaping hole that had widened inside of her for the past year finally consumed her.

She snapped.

The bed in the corner was smashed into the door, rattling the blue shield of light along its hinges. The metal groaned as the bed was crushed like an empty tin can, ripping straight through the sheets and the pillows on top.

The Force swarmed around her as she attacked the door next, beating against it with her fists. There was no other way out – none but this. She had to break it. Had to escape. She had to get out.

"Let me out!" she shrieked as she beat against the door.

Wrecker reached out a hand like he was going to open it, but Echo stopped him. Pushing him back down the hall as he demanded, "Go get Hunter and AZI. Now."

Pain lanced down Saedii's flesh and bone fist. Blood smeared along the blue door as her knuckles split, and there was a terrible crunching sound as the bone gave beneath her blows. The metallic knuckles of her left arm began to dent and cave in.

"I have to get out! Please!" she shouted.

"Saedii, what's wrong?" Echo was alarmed as he put his face up to the door, laying a hand along the outside. "You're going to hurt yourself! You need to stop!"

But she couldn't stop. A terrible feeling was filling her gut – a sense that she was never going to escape this nightmare. That she'd spend an eternity locked in this cell and unable to do what Krell wanted to escape.

She was trapped. Trapped.

Tears were burning. She never cried in front of Krell if she could help it, but there was no stopping them now. They burned harsh lines on her cheeks as she screamed her outrage up to Krell.

"Make it stop!"

"Make what stop?" Echo was trying to get her attention. "Hey, look at me. What do we need to stop?"

"The nightmare," she cried.

Her bloody and dented hands wound into her hair as she screamed. Somewhere nearby, she imagined Krell was watching and laughing at her pain. Amused at how easily she had cracked.

Saedii had sworn that she wouldn't.

But she had.

Echo was staring at her, aghast. "This isn't a dream, kid. This is real. You're not having a nightmare."

Her throat felt raw as she screamed again. It was never going to end. This endless cycle, this torment. She couldn't take it. Couldn't take it.

"I'll do anything you want! I'll serve, I'll obey, if you just get me out of my head," she wailed. "Please!"

She was sobbing, gasping for breath. Around her, the nightmare continued and Saedii's despair grew because she knew what that meant. She kriffing knew.

It would never end. Krell was going to keep her entrapped here forever. Saedii hadn't proven herself loyal enough, tough enough to be accepted back into the Inquisitors. And instead of a quick death, she would have a long and slow descent into madness.

A door slammed open somewhere close by. There was a rush of footsteps. A panicked voice demanding, "What's wrong?"

"She's panicking," Echo said in alarm. "She thinks she's dreaming."

Saedii screamed and began to beat at the door again. If she could just get the door open, maybe she could get out. Maybe she could force herself to wake up, just wake up. Wake up!

"Saedii, you're awake!" Hunter's voice sounded nearby. His face swam through the mess of tears, leaning desperately against the door. "You're safe!"

"Make it stop!"

"What the hell is wrong with her?" an angry voice demanded a moment before Wolffe's face appeared behind the glass.

There was an alarmed beep and then a high mechanical voice that said, "She is suffering from a psychotic episode. I can filter a gaseous sedative into the room, if you think –"

"Do it," Wolffe demanded.

"Commander, wait!" Hunter protested.

A faint hissing suddenly reached Saedii's ears. She spun, searching for the source of the sound. A way out – it had to be a way out.

From the corner of the room, where the glow of the heartrate monitor gilded the wall, a faint silvery mist was filtering in through a few tiny slits in the wall. Saedii took a step towards it before a blast of chilled air caught her from above and she looked up.

There were tiny, paper-thin slits built into the ceiling. All of which were blowing the same silvery mist. A mist that was cold against her skin and smelled like metal.

Saedii coughed and then staggered a step. A sudden wave of exhaustion blanketed her shoulders, forcing her eyes to droop. Her limbs felt heavy and unhinged as she tried to force herself towards the wall, to try and pry the filter from the metal.

Her body managed one step before it faltered. Her knees slammed into the metal floor, which felt icy against her skin. Pain split up her hands as they splayed on the ground before her.

The air felt thick around her now. Smelling bitter. She coughed against it, fighting with the heavy feeling of her eyelids as they closed of their own accord.

"No," she tried to shout, but it came out muffled. A mumble.

"Stop it! This isn't right!" Hunter demanded from behind her, but the mist continued.

Her hands reached out. Trying to crawl.

And then they gave out.

She crashed onto her side, hand still outstretched towards the wall. Around her, everything had grown hazy and out of focus. Her body was slowly going numb. The panic that had clawed against her rib cage like an angry animal slowly fizzled into nothing and a faint sound caught in her chest.

No, please, she begged but no sound came out.

Footsteps echoed in the ground beneath her ear. The faint whisk of a door sliding open. Hands flipped her onto her back.

Please.

Darkness and silence were her answer.