27

Saedii was back in her cell.

She blinked and sat up, wincing at the pain that swelled behind her eyes. At the headache that bore her down.

What happened? Her memory was foggy as she tried to parse out why she felt so dazed. A nagging feeling in her gut made her think that danger was close by.

Across the hall, a face peered at her.

"Saedii?" the woman asked.

Fear and anger split through Saedii's blood as she recognized the woman's robes. She was a Jedi.

"You," Saedii snarled. "Traitor!"

The Jedi were murderers. They'd betrayed her. Hurt her. Hunted her.

"Easy," the woman said slowly. Her eyes were gentle, but they did nothing to quell the rush of emotion that filled Saedii's throat. "You're safe."

If not for the chains holding her back, Saedii would have tried to kill her. Jedi were monsters. They'd torn the galaxy apart with their greed. "Why would I trust the word of a Jedi?"

The woman's expression didn't change. "I'm not a Jedi. I'm just Cere, and you're Saedii. Remember?"

All Saedii remembered was rage and anger and betrayal. The fear that she felt whenever she looked a Jedi in the eye and knew that evil stared back. They'd tried to kill her. Had hunted her and killed her friend. Her favorite brother.

"Think, Saedii. We met yesterday. Remember what I told you."

"I remember only that Jedi betrayed the galaxy," Saedii spat. "That they tried to kill me. My own Master."

"Your Master never tried to kill you, Saedii. Plo loved you."

Saedii bared her teeth. "Liar."

"Do you have your necklace?"

The question was odd. Why would she need a necklace? They spoke of betrayal and death, and this woman wanted to know about jewelry –

"Think, Saedii. The first time is always the hardest, but your memory is still there," Cere urged her. "Remember our conversation from yesterday."

Reluctantly, Saedii tried to pierce through the fog that lingered around her mind. Tried to remember.

It came to her slowly – waking in the cell, meeting Cere Junda, the warning she gave her. For some reason, these memories were not tinged with distrust or anger, but trust. Acceptance. Yesterday, Saedii hadn't hated her.

Saedii frowned. "I...don't understand. What's going on?"

"Krell altered your memories." It wasn't a question.

But that wasn't possible. How could he change her memory? There were no mind tricks in the galaxy strong enough to do that.

"He couldn't have," Saedii started.

"He did. I saw them take you this morning. You were gone for hours," Cere said gently.

Hours? Saedii didn't remember leaving this cell. Couldn't remember anything at all.

Cere's lips were pale. "That's how it always starts. He goes after the memories that you hold dear. The ones that keep you loyal to the ones you love most."

"I am loyal to the Empire. The Inquisitors."

"Tell me, little one. Would your family keep you imprisoned if they truly cared for you?"

That drew Saedii for a stop. She thought back to yesterday – to the anger and rage that she'd felt when Krell had appeared outside her cell. How terrified she'd been when she woke up and found herself a prisoner.

"Your Master," Cere continued. "Tell me about him."

Saedii sneered. "Plo Koon was a traitor. He tried to kill me –"

"No, little one. He didn't."

Her hand reached behind her, tracing the scar that followed her spine. Careful of the fresh wound that bisected it. "I have the scar to prove it."

"You have a scar, but Plo did not give it to you. Krell wants you to believe that he did." Cere was patient. Calm. "That is how he works. He roots false memories in living scars."

A frown pulled at Saedii's brow as she traced the line. It was jagged and rough. Not at all smooth and straight like a lightsaber scar should be.

"Krell is smart. He knows what parts of your memory to twist and mold to make you his," Cere said.

"But I remember Plo's blade. The pain."

"A false memory."

"I felt it."

Cere dipped her head. "He is powerful. The things he makes you remember can feel very real."

The headache behind her eyes suddenly felt sharper, like sandpaper rubbed at the jagged edges of her memories. Trying to wear it down smooth.

"Krell saved me," Saedii began.

There was a harsh bark of laughter. "Krell hates you. Why would he save your life?"

Something flipped in Saedii's stomach. Somehow, she knew this was not a lie. Even as her memories bade her to trust Krell, there was something in her instincts that screamed he was untrustworthy.

The pressure in her head increased. She winced.

"What else do you remember?" Cere prompted.

"We –" Saedii broke off sharply, gritting her teeth. It hurt to think about that day. "We were on Corilynth. Plo and I."

Cere gave a nod. "A truth. Your last assignment together. You were searching for Newt Gunray."

Yes, that was right. Saedii remembered Plo telling her about it on the bridge of their cruiser.

Saedii swallowed, forcing her throat to work even as the pain swelled in her skull. "Plo and I were alone. He ambushed me."

"Where were your Clones?"

A harsh gasp hissed through Saedii's clenched teeth. It seemed like the pain got worse every time she tried to sift through the memory. When she dug deeper than the surface memory of Plo and Krell's duel.

But Cere had a point. Where had Wolffe and the 104th been? They wouldn't have traveled to Corilynth without them.

Her breath caught. "It hurts to think."

"Another tactic. Whatever Krell does, he makes sure that you don't dig any further than the false memory he's planted. He doesn't want you to remember the truth," Cere explained.

Saedii shut her eyes. Breathing hard.

"Were your Clones there?"

"No," Saedii gasped.

"Good." Cere seemed pleased. "Keep going. What else do you remember?"

"Plo was angry. Disappointed."

A low chuckle sounded. "Plo sang your praises. You could have never disappointed him."

"He used to hurt me. A lot."

"Plo was gentle. He loved you. He would never have done anything to cause you harm –"

Saedii gave a harsh shake of her head. "No, Plo hated me. He hurt me. He tried to kill me. That's all I remember –"

"Your real memory is there somewhere. It will come back eventually."

Cold air blew across Saedii's bare skin, drawing a shiver. It drew her attention away from her fractured memories and made the headache somehow hurt less. Saedii took large, gulping breaths. Hoping to clear it away.

Cere's voice was comforting as she said, "I know what you're feeling, little one. I watched them do the same to my own Padawan. Every day, Trilla came back and accused me of new things – that I hurt her, hated her, wanted her dead. Things that never happened."

"How do you know that your memories are the real ones?" Saedii challenged.

The edges of Cere's lips curled faintly. "Because Krell has never broken my memory."

Now that Saedii wasn't thinking of Corilynth and Plo, her head felt better. She sat up, chains sliding along the stone.

Wet stone glistened along the walls, catching the faint glow of orange light from her cell door. A puddle in the hall reflected it back, looking like a lake of fire burning within the stone.

Saedii rubbed at her forehead. "I don't know what to believe."

"It is disorienting. The things Krell can do, we never trained for in the Order," Cere said bitterly.

"Then how come you claim to be unaffected?"

"Because I have this."

Cere pushed up the sleeve of her Jedi robe, revealing the crease of her inner arm. Inked into the skin at her elbow was the black outline of a zeilla flower, no larger than her thumb.

Sensing Saedii's confusion, Cere explained, "I got this tattoo for Trilla. Zeilla flowers are her favorite and I wanted to commemorate our time together. I never told anyone I got it – not even Trilla. It was meant only for me. A reminder of my first Padawan. Of the girl I loved as fiercely as my own daughter."

At the mention of zeilla flowers, Saedii suddenly remembered an afternoon in the Temple, siting among a warm puddle of sunlight in the training room. Trilla had walked in with a vase of zeilla flowers – purple and pink and brilliant in the late afternoon Coruscant sun.

"When Krell takes me back into my memory to twist and destroy, I always check my arm for this tattoo," Cere continued. "Krell doesn't know I have it, and so in his false memory, my arm is blank. That is how I know that the things I see are not real."

To her surprise, Saedii gave a low chuckle. "Plo often said you were the smartest in the Order. I don't think any other Jedi would have thought of that."

"There was no strategy involved. I discovered it by accident. The first time, when he tried to make me see the Order's betrayal, I looked to my tattoo for comfort and found it was gone. That was enough to break Krell's hold on me," Cere said.

Saedii fingered the scar at her back. She was still torn. Still thought of Krell as equal parts her savior and her jailer. "I...don't have anything like that to help me. No tattoos. No scars. Nothing that Krell wouldn't already know about, at least."

"Do you have your necklace?" Cere asked again, more pointed this time.

She scrambled for it in the darkness, reaching into the corner. After a moment, the uneven lump met her fingers, colder even than the stone beneath her. Saedii pulled it into her hand, wrapping her fingers around it.

"Yes," she answered.

"Is it something with sentimental value?"

"Yes."

"And does Krell know you have it?"

Saedii clutched it tighter. "I don't think so."

"Good. Use that to help ground you."

It seemed silly. The idea that a mere necklace could help her sift through truth and lies. That it could save her when her Jedi training could not.

"How?" Saedii asked skeptically.

"When you hold that necklace, remember that you are awake and that this is real," Cere explained. "When you don't have it, then don't believe anything you see. It will help."

This was far outside the realm of any training that Saedii had ever done before. Nothing that Master Yoda or Master Jocasta had taught her could have prepared her for this. Plo either, though Saedii didn't want to think about him right now.

"Yesterday, you spoke of another friend. Someone you thought might be down here with you," Cere began slowly.

"Kalth."

"Ah, yes. Mace Windu's learner." Warmth danced across the plane of Cere's face. "The two of you were always close in the temple. One was never seen without the other. I should have known it was him you fought for."

Saedii nodded, not sure where Cere was going with this.

The warmth quickly faded. "Krell will come for him next. The memories you have of him – he will try to destroy them. To cut those ties so that you are more obedient."

That should have worried her, but there were other memories that were more dangerous. Memories of Hunter and the Batch. Of Omega. Of the Rebellion, nestled away on Teth.

Would she be able to keep those safe? To protect them from Krell as he sought to destroy her?

For their sake, she would have to try.