19

Her cell had never been a more welcome sight.

When Krell locked her back inside that night, Saedii collapsed onto the thin mattress and vomited into the bucket that sat nearby.

Cobwebs of power strung through her mind, lingering from her faint brush with the Dark Side. Sticky and hard to shake. It burned red behind her closed eyelids, pricked like thorns against her consciousness.

It had been terrible. Cold and all-consuming...and seductive.

Saedii had never been so tempted by anything in her life. Had never wanted anything more than the cold power that had waited so patiently to be claimed. It had whispered beautiful promises into her ear; shown her visions of freedom and control. Of being reunited with her family.

All hers, if she only accepted the darkness.

Her stomach emptied again, more violently this time. Master Plo had often told her of the dangers of the Dark Side. How tempting it could be to even the most hardened Jedi. She had never believed him. Had scoffed at the idea that she could ever consider such a power.

Now, she understood.

She took in great gulping breaths of air, trying to clear her head. Flashes of Amp's face twisted in pain rang like a bell at the back of her mind, quickly replaced with glimpses of Krell's angry face as he felt her accepting the power. A sharp snap of bone.

Amp's death had been necessary, but it didn't make it hurt any worse. The Clone had been smart and loyal – an asset to Rex and the Rebellion. And he'd been kind to Saedii in the short time she'd known him.

Another ghost to haunt her. Another innocent soul taken by her hand.

Saedii closed her eyes. Swallowed against the sour taste on the back of her tongue. Trying to will away the guilt.

Moonlight sluiced down through the window, spilling across the floor in a white blanket. A clear night – unusual for Nur. Soft gentle sounds of waves lapped far below against the foundation of the fortress. They were so soft that their spray didn't even reach Saedii's window.

The door in the hall opened and quick, urgent footsteps echoed. A moment later, the door to her cell ripped open and there was a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you alright?" Kalth's voice was tight with concern. His eyes, too. They flicked across her face, accessing her for himself. "Krell told us what happened in the tombs. What you had to do."

"I had no choice," she whispered miserably.

"I know."

Slowly, he moved the bucket out from under her chin, pushing it against the wall. Far enough away that the cool night air kept the smell away. He was frowning as he helped her sit.

"I didn't think he would take you down there. It was well over a year before I was brought to the tombs. Before he introduced me to the Dark Side," Kalth said slowly.

Saedii bit her lip. "I couldn't resist it."

His lips thinned. "No one can."

Very gently, one of his hands reached up and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. A comforting touch. It reminded her of all the times she had run to his room as a child, looking for solace from a nightmare. Of the times that he'd scooted over in his small bed and allowed her to crawl in beside him.

Kalth blinked and recoiled as soon as he'd realized what he'd done, scowling in surprise. He moved a step away, sitting along the wall. Far enough away that Saedii couldn't touch him.

"Here."

He handed her a holopad. Schematics for the Tantiss base glowed in the limited light. Quickly, Saedii began to scroll through, going over it with an expert military eye.

Breaking in would be difficult. The base was quite literally built into a mountain. There was one main entrance at the hangar bay and several smaller, more easily defensible entrances. Everything was under surveillance. Cameras and security code access.

Not to mention the air defenses. Long range blaster canons were hidden in the forests, pointing up. Ready to blast down any enemy ships that came within firing range.

Saedii sighed and handed it back. "Any ideas?"

"Using force won't work," Kalth answered bitterly. "Neither will sneaking in."

"So what's our other option?"

He toyed with something in his hands. The leather bracelet, Saedii realized. "We need an Inquisitor shuttle. Our access code will get us straight through the front gates. They wouldn't dare shoot us down and risk Lord Vader's wrath."

It seemed the logical option. Except for one thing. "We can't steal a ship. Krell would report it before we ever made it to Wayland."

"We need to leave of our own volition. An assignment of some kind."

She nodded.

But Kalth's frown deepened. "Krell is suspicious of me. He suspects that I lied to him on Nal Kopak. It may be difficult to get an assignment together."

"We can wait –"

"You may need to go without me."

The look she turned on him was acidic. "I'm not leaving you. This was your idea, Kalth."

"I know." He looked pissed about it, but resigned. "Krell trusts you now after you escaped from the Jedi. He's confident that Omega can make you behave. He'll likely have an assignment for you soon."

"Not alone," she pointed out.

A cruel little smile tugged at his mouth. "No, but you can overpower whichever poor soul Krell sends to watch you. Once they're dead, you can take the ship and go to Wayland. You'll grab your friend and leave before Krell realizes what you've done. It will be simple."

"No," Saedii said again. "I won't go without you."

"Do you want to save your friend or not?" he snapped.

She glared at him. "There has to be a way to get us all to safety. If we just wait a little longer –"

"And how many more people will Krell make you kill in that time?"

Another wave of nausea filled her gut. She closed her eyes against the faces that suddenly peered into her memories – Jek and Amp and Zatt and Cid.

He blew out a breath. "As soon as you get the opportunity to go, take it. Don't wait for me."

The idea of leaving without him was painful. In the past few weeks, Saedii had gone from hating him to trusting him again. Maybe not as implicitly as she had when they were children, but she knew there was still something good within him. A light that was starting to break free from the dark.

"I don't know if you remember," she started slowly. Tentatively. "But I'm not the best pilot. I'm not sure if I'd be able to fly something as big as the attack shuttles here."

To her surprise, Kalth snorted. "You failed your first flying test. Horribly."

"You remember?"

"Another dream. You cried for a week."

Despite herself, Saedii chuckled. "I did. You felt so bad. You bought me a fruit tart from the city that night before bed."

Kalth's eyes were warm. He nodded slowly. "Selka fruit. Your favorite."

"Yes."

That warmth in his eyes quickly died, replaced by the cool indifference Saedii had grown used to. "All you have to do is get the ship out of Nur's airspace. Once you're cleared for hyperspace, the navicomputer will do the rest."

"Except for the landing," she pointed out.

"You can land it."

She could. She knew that, but she was desperate to find a way to get him to go with her. "You were always the better pilot."

The soft crashing of waves was the only sound in the silence that followed. A strange mix of emotions played along Kalth's face – anger and relief. Longing. He glared down at the ground.

"Even if I can make it out with you," he began slowly. Voice firm. "You have to understand that I'm not the same boy that you knew. I'm not your friend anymore. He's gone."

Saedii frowned. Unsure what he was getting at. "Kalth –"

"Just because I don't want to see you hurt doesn't mean I want to go back to the way things were," he snapped. He'd settled on anger then. "After we've freed your friend from Wayland, we'll go our separate ways."

It felt like he'd twisted a knife between her ribs. In the brief moments she'd allowed herself to think of her future of freedom, Kalth had always been there. Healing beside her.

Together, like they should be.

"You are my friend," she insisted.

"I'm not. The boy you knew is dead. I can never be him again."

"Then I'll take you as you are. It doesn't matter to me."

His jaw worked. "You don't get it. I'm not someone you want to be friends with. I've killed and tortured people before. Jedi – our brothers and sisters."

She met his gaze unflinching. "So have I. We were both forced to do terrible things while we were here. That doesn't have to define us when we leave."

Except Saedii understood what he was saying. She had worried about it too – how she'd been tainted by this imprisonment. A part of her feared that she couldn't return to her old life. That she would ruin anything she touched.

"I tried to kill you," he spat. "I wanted to kill you."

"But you didn't. You had the chance and you spared me instead."

Kalth's expression remained icy cold. "Spared you? I brought you here to be tortured. How is that mercy?"

Saedii touched her lip, where only a few weeks ago it had split. Where Kalth had healed her. "There is still goodness in you. You wouldn't have come here each night if you didn't want to remember. You wouldn't have healed me if you'd wanted me hurt."

"I only wanted answers," he asserted.

"Then why heal me?"

A harsh breath blew from his clenched teeth. He got abruptly to his feet. "Arguing won't change my mind. Once the Clone is safe, I'm gone. I don't want any part in whatever it is Skywalker and the Clones are trying to accomplish. Do you understand?"

That, at least, Saedii got. After two and a half years as a prisoner, Kalth didn't want to be caught up in a rebellion. And he had guessed, at least in part, that Anakin and Obi-Wan's presence hinted at something more.

"Fine." It would be difficult to let him leave, but she wouldn't stop him. The knowledge that he was safe would be good enough to keep her going.

He turned to leave then. Apparently, Saedii's arguing had gotten on his nerves.

"Wait," Saedii said.

An exasperated sigh blew from his mouth, but he stopped. As she'd asked. "What?"

"I saw the tombs today."

His shoulders tightened but he didn't turn to look at her. "What about them?"

She swallowed. "The Jedi that are down there...I only saw a few, but I need to know. Is my Master down there? Plo?"

Kalth finally turned back to her then. The harsh expression had gentled on his face and he appeared rather speculative. Hesitant. "I don't know."

"You've been down there before. You must have seen –"

"I've never looked at their faces," he admitted. "I can't."

His jaw was rigid. Angrily, he rubbed at it, like that would be enough to relieve the tension there. Enough to diffuse the anger. Without asking, Saedii knew that he was not mad at her but mad at himself. At his perceived weakness.

Softly, he admitted, "I don't want to know if Mace is there. I don't think I could look at him, knowing what I have become. How I betrayed him."

"You still care for him."

Not a question. An observation.

He glared at her, offended. "You aren't the only one who loved your Master."

"I know," Saedii said at once. "I just thought you wouldn't remember him."

"I do. That's part of the problem," Kalth hissed, slipping out the open door. Then, with excessive force, he slammed his hand on the button, sliding her cell door closed again.

In the ringing silence that followed, Saedii wondered what it was that Kalth had remembered. In their year as Padawans, Kalth hadn't often talked about Mace Windu except to tell of his skills with a lightsaber. He never talked of their relationship. How they got along.

They had been different, Saedii knew. Stern and serious Mace Windu and the mischievous, fun-loving Kalth Apperion. It was a relationship that likely shouldn't have worked. And yet, if his attitude was any indication, it had.

For the first time in months, Saedii couldn't help but wonder what Plo would think of her now. Of all the things she'd been forced to do as an Inquisitor. Would he forgive her for the lives she'd taken? Understand the sacrifice that she had taken to protect a friend?

Deep down, she was sure she knew the answer. Plo was righteous, but forgiving. There was nothing that she could have done that he would not have forgiven.

If only she could afford herself the same courtesy.