19

happy st.patricks day batchers! enjoy an early chapter for the holiday!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The games turned out to be a lot more fun than Saedii had anticipated.

Saedii impressed not only Aren but a delighted crowd when she got a perfect score at the dart station, landing a perfect bullseye on each throw. At the ring toss, she successfully managed to line her rings in a row, then created an X for her next toss. Aren turned out to be really good at fishing tiny golden rings from the bottom of a barrel of water, and even successfully beat his opponent at a strange sort of dancing game.

Within a few hours, they had a small treasure trove of prizes between the two of them. Saedii had won a pretty pearl ring, a seashell hair comb (that Aren had placed in her hair, causing her to blush furiously), and a woven seaweed pouch. Aren had a small driftwood figurine and a lula that looked just like a moon-yo, which he'd given to Saedii.

As much as she didn't want to admit it, Saedii was having fun. Aren could be charming when he wasn't pointing out all the ways she was different or staring at her like she was the sun. He was pretty funny, too, providing commentary on his terrible attempts to show her up at the ring toss.

The sun had fully set by the time they sat down to take a break. A soft glow reflected off the still surface of the ocean – one a warm honey color from the lights, the other pale and silvery from the full moon.

"Here." Aren placed a glass of something pink in front of her.

"What is it?" Saedii looked admirably at the glass. A large pink hibiscus flower overflowed around a seaglass straw.

"Hibiscus lemonade. It's a Pabu specialty!"

The drink was sweet with just a hint of sourness. She'd never had anything like it.

She took a long sip, admiring the rest of the square. Even though it was getting late, the festival looked no closer to winding down. In fact, a few people were rolling out what appeared to be a dancefloor in front of the stage.

Saedii wondered if Phee was going to bring Tech out there. She'd seen them once, by one of the gaming booths. Phee had been holding a very large collection of prizes while Tech was intently guiding a miniature racer around a track. Both had seemed to be having fun.

"Do you like to dance? The band will be coming back in the next hour, and they'll turn all the lights low! The dancefloor is always a lot of fun!" Aren said excitedly.

"I've never really danced before," Saedii admitted. In her head, she went over all of the Jedi forms she'd learned and tried to think which ones would make the best dance moves.

A strange look passed Aren's face. "You've never danced? Not even on your own?"

"No, but I'm sure I'll pick it up quickly. I was always good at Jedi forms," she insisted. She didn't want him to think she couldn't learn. Now that she was looking at the dancefloor, she had a sudden desire to try it out.

His brow furrowed even further.

Before he could say whatever was on his mind, someone across the square called his name.

Both of them looked up as a tall, red-headed boy around their age approached the table. He was gangly and skinny – the sign of someone who was growing too fast for his body to keep up – and had constellations of freckles across his face.

"Dyron!" Aren said excitedly. He grasped the boy's hand before pulling him in for a hug.

"What are you doing here?" The boy – Dyron – asked in a crackly voice. "Where's your Pops?"

"He's at home. I'm on a date."

Dyron cut his eyes in Saedii's direction. At the sight of her, he suddenly straightened. A suave smile stretchy across his face as he leaned casually against the table.

"Well, hello," he purred. "What's your name?"

Aren gave a roll of his eyes.

Saedii had to fight not to roll her own. "Saedii."

"Beautiful name. Are you new here?"

"Just visiting."

"She's a Jedi," Aren blurted with a puffed up air of importance.

Saedii lips pressed together tightly as Dyron's jaw dropped, and he breathed, "A real Jedi?"

What was with everyone on this island asking about "real" Jedi?

Dyron was suddenly looking at Aren with ill-concealed admiration. "How did you score a date with a Jedi?"

"I just put on the charm, you know?" A cocky smile pulled at Aren's lips.

The boiling look Saedii shot him killed the smile almost immediately.

Dyron didn't seem to notice. His attention was back on Saedii now as he demanded, "Did you fight in the war? What was it like?"

Saedii opened her mouth to answer, but Aren spoke for her. "Come on, Dyron. She's our age. There's no way they would have let a kid fight in the Clone Wars. Use your brain."

"Actually," Saedii said with some bite, "I did."

"You did?" Dyron and Aren both said at the same time – Dyron in obvious admiration, Aren in astonishment.

"I was a Commander in the Grand Army of the Republic. I served with the 104th Battalion."

Aren frowned. Lowering his voice, he whispered, "I thought you said you weren't in the war. You said your arm happened after."

"I never said I didn't fight in the Clone Wars." Saedii was frowning now, too. The Force around Aren was quickly growing clouded with anger.

"But you would have been too young."

"I was fourteen. I was old enough."

That frown on Aren's face deepened.

But Dyron was leaning in eagerly, lowering his breath as he asked, like it was supposed to be a secret, "Did you ever kill anyone?"

"Of course she hasn't!" Aren snapped at the same time Saedii said, "If I had to."

This time, the look Aren shot her was appalled. "You've killed someone before?"

"A few people," Saedii answered honestly.

Aren's mouth was hanging open. "But I thought the Separatists used droids in their army?"

"It wasn't all droids." Saedii noted the way Aren was suddenly leaning away from her. The way his lip curled like he'd tasted something sour.

"And you were the one that had to kill them? You were just a kid."

"I wasn't a child. I was a Commander, and it was my duty."

A muscle in Aren's jaw tightened. Next to him, Dyron breathed, "Bad ass."

"I thought Jedi weren't supposed to take lives," Aren argued.

"We do when it's necessary." Saedii was confused why he seemed to care so much.

Dyron let out a low whistle and gave a slow shake of his head. Clapping Aren on the shoulder, he said, "I am insanely jealous right now. You have the coolest date."

A strange look passed Aren's face. He said nothing as Dyron waved goodbye and went to join his family at another table.

The Force around Aren was heavy with sadness and anger, and he was no longer looking at her like she was some kind of god. In fact, he wasn't even looking at her at all. His attention was firmly on the table between them.

Around them, people cheered as the band shuffled back towards the stage. Dancers surged towards the dancefloor as the lights overhead grew muted and the dancefloor suddenly glowed with bioluminescent paint. Saedii caught a glimpse of Phee pulling Tech out there, the later of whom looked reluctant.

Saedii glanced at Aren, waiting to see if he'd ask her to dance. But he wouldn't meet her eye.

"Why are you upset?" Saedii asked, puzzled. Was he really that angry over the fact that she'd taken a few lives. It had been a war. There'd been casualties on both sides.

"I'm not." Aren's answer was brusque.

Saedii tilted her head, appraising him. "You can't lie to me. I can feel your emotions. You're angry."

He cut a look towards her. There was a flash of fear there. Perhaps he hadn't realized the extend of Saedii's connection to the Force, or just what she could do with it. Either way, she'd surprised him.

"Of course I'm angry," he said suddenly, voice sharp. "You just said that you killed people."

"We were at war. People die in war."

"I know that, but it was the way you said it. Like it wasn't a big deal."

One of her brows rose. He was acting very different than the gaping, staring boy she'd met yesterday. "I never took a life unless I had to, and I never mourned the ones I took. That was the only way to get through battle."

"There are plenty of other ways to win a war. It doesn't always have to involve killing your enemies," Aren insisted.

On the dancefloor, people were laughing and twirling each other around. Happy. A stark difference to the bubble of tension that existed around Saedii and Aren.

"Aren," Saedii said slowly. "I didn't have a choice."

Disgust flooded Aren's face. "There's always a choice. You didn't have to kill anyone. You didn't have to fight. You could have chosen peace."

"I did choose peace. I chose to fight for that peace against the Separatists who wanted to take it away." Saedii gestured to the island around them – to the dozens of people dancing on the glowing light of the dancefloor. "The only reason most of the people here are still alive is because the Jedi fought back."

"The reason I'm alive is because my dad brought me here, away from the fighting," Aren snarled. "The war between the Republic and the Separatists destroyed my planet and killed my people...killed my mom."

Something sharp burrowed in Saedii's chest. She knew now where his anger was coming from. From his grief.

Slowly, Saedii reached out and touched his hand. Trying to make him understand. "I'm very sorry about your mom, but you can't blame me or the Jedi for what happened to her. We didn't fight because we wanted to. We fought because we had to. You have to believe that."

"I don't." He yanked his hand away, eyes blazing. Full of antipathy. "You chose to take a life. That makes you no better than the people you chose to fight. No better than the people that killed my mom."

That sharp feeling in Saedii's chest twisted. "You don't understand. I never wanted –"

"It doesn't matter what you wanted. It only matters what you did."

Abruptly, Aren got to his feet. The last withering look he gave her made her feel like she was less than human. Like a monster.

Without another word, he disappeared into the crowd of cheering people.

Saedii sat for a moment in stunned silence. She didn't understand how the night had gone so badly so fast. She had been having fun – enjoying herself and Aren, even though she'd been sure she wouldn't.

She looked in the direction of the dancefloor, where he'd disappeared. But instead of spotting his dark hair, she spotted Phee, swirling Tech aggressively around in a complicated move. For his part, Tech's mouth was parted in horror and his eyes were wide behind his goggles.

Hot anger burned in her gut at the sight of them. This was all Phee's fault. If she hadn't tried to betray them, hadn't forced them to come to Pabu, then none of this would have happened. It was all her fault that they were here; all her fault that Saedii had even gone on this stupid date in the first place. All her fault that a little worm of guilt was now burrowing deep in her gut at the memory of Aren's angry words.

She hated Phee. Hated this stupid island.

And most of all, she hated dates.

Fuming, Saedii shoved to her feet, slinging her bag over her shoulder. The weight of it stuffed with prizes – prizes that Aren had won for her – tapped against her hip.

When she returned to Phee's house, she was in a foul mood. She'd spent most of the walk back replaying everything that had happened at the lemonade table – all of Aren's cruel words, the way he'd looked at her like she was something evil.

That mood worsened when she stepped inside to the sight of her grinning teammates.

At quick glance, they'd all greatly enjoyed themselves at the festival. Wrecker's face was flushed with drink and he was laughing and talking far too loud as he slung an arm over Crosshair's shoulder, bragging about his brother's perfect score at the darts station. Echo and Hunter were listening in satisfied silence as Omega replayed all the highlights of the night, showing them all the jewelry around her wrists. Her face had been painted too – just like the other children at the festival.

For some reason, the knowledge that they were having the time of their lives here on Pabu made that anger inside of her reach a boiling point. They weren't supposed to be having fun. They weren't even supposed to be here at all.

Saedii slammed the door behind her and marched in the direction of her room.

"Kid! You're back!" Wrecker roared at the sight of her. Crosshair winced, only inches away, and rubbed at his ear.

"Saedii!" Omega jumped up and ran after her, holding out her wrist. "Look at all the bracelets I have! Lyana and I traded some other kids for some, so now I have ten!"

"Great, Megs." It was a struggle to keep her voice even. To not let the rage inside of her creep into her tone. It wasn't Omega's fault that Saedii had a shitty night.

Oblivious to Saedii's mood, Omega gasped and pointed to the bag at her side. "You got a lula! And it looks like a moon-yo!"

With more force than necessary, Saedii yanked the lula out of her bag and shoved it towards Omega's waiting arms. "Keep it. I don't want it."

"How was your date?" Hunter asked, expression falling as he caught on to Saedii's terrible mood.

"Fine," she snapped.

"Are you sure?"

"I said it was fine."

"Hey." Echo was frowning at her now. "What's with the attitude? We're just asking a question."

"Fuck off, Echo," Saedii said before she could help it.

Omega's mouth dropped open. Even Crosshair blinked in surprise.

Echo's eyebrows nearly shot into space. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"You don't need to be using language like that," Hunter said sternly, getting to his feet.

Saedii knew she was being unfair. Knew that she was taking out her anger at Aren on her teammates. But she was just so damn mad. She couldn't help herself.

"You're not my father, Hunter," Saedii snarled. "So stop acting like it."

Wrecker sucked in a breath and whispered, far too loud, "That wasn't nice."

"No, it wasn't," Echo agreed angrily. "Where the hell is this coming from? What are you attacking us for?"

Hurt was etched into the lines of Hunter's face. Her words had struck deeper than she'd intended.

Tears glistened in Omega's eyes. It was that sight that killed Saedii's anger, replacing it with regret.

She shouldn't have said that. Why did she say that?

"I just want to be left alone," Saedii demanded. Without waiting for their response, she turned in the direction of her room.

Behind her, Echo's voice threatened, "Wait a second. We're not done. Come back here."

"Yes, we are!" Embarrassment made her voice sharp. She just wanted to hide her face and pretend like this night hadn't happened.

"Saedii."

The slam of her door behind her was her only response.

Once she was in her room, Saedii hid her face into her hands. She couldn't believe that she'd said that to Hunter. Couldn't believe that she'd let her anger get the better of her.

She was a Jedi. Her emotions were always supposed to be in check.

And she'd let a stupid boy throw them out of balance.

What was wrong with her? There was no way Ahsoka or Anakin or any of the other legendary Jedi had ever let someone mess with their emotions like that. Why had she let Aren's words affect her so much?

In the hallway, quiet footsteps announced that she'd been followed. Saedii let out a long breath as there was a knock on the door.

"Please just leave me alone," she said. Pleaded almost. She couldn't bear to face whoever it was on the other side of that door. Not after what she'd just said.

"I will," Hunter's voice said. Surprisingly calm, even though he had every right to yell and scream. "I promise. I just need to know that you're alright."

"I'm fine."

"Nothing happened tonight? No one hurt you?"

There was no anger there. Just concern. Saedii wished that he was yelling. She didn't deserve his patience.

Rather quietly, Saedii said, "No one hurt me. I just...want some time alone. Please."

There was a heartbeat of silence.

Then, "Alright, kid. Come find me if you need me."

Once the sounds of his footsteps had faded away, Saedii plopped down on her bed and yanked one of the blankets over her head.