The Hate Potion, pt. 2

“Oh. Er, if you only had a day to live, what would you do?” 

Severus looked down. “I’d tell off everyone I didn’t like, because there wouldn’t be consequences. I’d go somewhere, too, I suppose.” 

The group was silent, thoughtful. 

Everyone but Lily, Harry realized, had some sort of secret that would affect their final day on Earth: Severus loved Lily, Harry was from a different time, and Raven loved Severus. And, maybe Lily didn’t hate James as much as she had before? 

Severus unraveled his fingers from Raven’s. They both wiped her hands on their pajama pants. Raven tried to exchange a glance with Severus, but he had looked away, to Lily.

“Truth or Dare,” Severus said quietly.

“Truth.” 

“What is your least favorite thing about me?”

“Oh, Sev, I don’t want to answer that…”

“But I want you to.”

“Besides you hanging out with the Slytherins? I mean, sometimes you can be a little intense, and clingy…” Lily looked guilty, but shrugged as if to say, “You wanted to know.” Not wanting to meet Severus’ empty eyes, she decided on Harry. “Jacob, truth or—” 

“Truth.”

“Hm…Have you ever lied?”

“Yeah.” Harry was relieved. It didn’t reveal anything about himself; he saw all of his friends lie daily, with little stretches of the truth.

“Wait, no, how about, what’s the biggest lie you’ve told in the past month? No, year?” 

“I can’t remember anything specific.” 

And then he felt it. The space in front of him felt cooler, thinner. It was merely a flicker, but it was enough to cause a slight shift in Severus’ eyebrows. The appearance-changing spells had weakened again. But why? 

“C’mon, it’s just us.”

“I told my mom I didn’t know where her purse was, when I actually stole it.” 

Harry felt normal again, but Severus still stared. 

The next morning, Harry groggily opened his eyes, awakened by Severus’ hand on his shoulder. It took him a moment to realize what day it was.

“What’s the matter?” Harry sat up.

Severus’ mouth was ajar in shock.

“What’s wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?” 

Severus shook his head, blinked a few times, and sat back down on his mattress. Harry leaned against the wall and looked at Severus, waiting for a reply. 

“I couldn’t sleep. I keep thinking…well, what if Lily doesn’t like my gift?” Severus’ voice cracked slightly.

Harry’s eyes had adjusted better to the darkness; he saw Severus pressing his hands together.

“Of course she’ll like your gift; it’s from you.” It seemed as though that wasn’t what Severus was really wondering about.

Harry wondered if Severus expected him to know how he felt about Lily, or if he believed he was doing a good job of hiding his feelings and didn’t want Harry to know. 

“I suppose…” Severus lay back down and fixed his gaze on the ceiling. 

“Lily still cares about you,” Harry said quietly. 

Severus’ eyes turned to Harry, then back again. “Not for long.” 

“And why do you think that?” 

Severus exhaled. “Because.” 

Harry raised his eyebrows. Severus saw his expression and sighed again.

“Because she’s—we’re—too different.”

“So?” 

“So…I don’t know! She’s mad at me, all the time—for no good reason—and…” his voice hitched again. 

“I would say there’s a good reason.”

Severus sat up. “Of course you would! You always side with her!” 

Harry looked back at Severus in amazement. “How long have I told you the Dark Arts is a bad idea? If anything, she’s siding with me.” Harry moved to the edge of his bed. “Look, I’m not against you, and, it’s Christmas; we don’t need to be talking about this right now.” 

Severus laid back down and sighed. “Fine. But, er, one more thing…”

“Hang on.” Harry turned on the lamp on the bedside table. Raven and Lily stood up quickly on the landing, trying to make it seem as though they hadn’t been listening. 

In the light, Harry could see Severus’ panic clearly. “Lily, I didn’t mean—” 

“It’s fine, Severus,” Lily said, but it seemed forced.

“We didn’t mean to eavesdrop, we were just going to see if you were up…” Raven explained, trailing off. 

“Do we wait for your parents, or can we go upstairs?” 

“I’ll get Tuney. Then we can open presents; my parents always sleep in.” Lily tip-toed back up the stairs. 

Raven hesitated, torn between sides, then said, “I’m going to make some hot cocoa,” on her way after Lily. 

Severus groaned and rolled onto on his stomach. Into his pillow, he said, “I’m such an idiot.” 

The tree glowed warmly in the dark of the living room, illuminating the stockings and gifts. Petunia and Lily’s were stuffed full of things, while the other stockings seemed deflated. Raven, Harry, and Severus didn’t mind in the slightest. 

They only took ten minutes to go through all of their stockings. Mixed in with the presents under the tree were things that had been mailed from family and friends. Remus gave Harry a journal filled with new notes from Animagus-related books and sections gathering everything Harry had found before. He gave Lily a stuffed rabbit, which he’d bought after asking her what her favorite animal was at breakfast (in a not-so-subtle way). Raven got three books from family on the Dark Arts. After unwrapping them, she and Harry exchanged a grin.

“I have to get something,” Lily said, before unwrapping Severus’ gift. She came back downstairs, hand clasped around something. She sat back down and opened her palm. “Let me guess…yep, ’Evans.’” The stone Severus had given her last year now read “Lily Evans.” 

His gift this year was a protective stone similar to the one Lily gave him last year. However, this one wasn’t a solid color; it had blue detailing. 

“Now we both have one.” Severus and Lily smiled more sincerely than they had the entire holiday. 

“How did you get the money for gifts?” Harry asked Severus, when Mr. Evans was at work and the girls had gone to the market. 

“If I tell you, will you not say anything to try and convince me it was wrong?” 

“Sure.” 

“I make potions and sell them to a seventh year.” 

“What kind of potions? Are they legal? I’m just asking, relax.”

“You wouldn’t know what kind. And, no, not technically.”

“Well, money is money, isn’t it? Doesn’t matter where it came from, as long as you’re using it for good, right?” 

Severus hesitated. “Right.” 

After the holidays, James was quick to work on the Animagus project. “Jacob, we’re having a meeting today in the common room. Eleven o’ clock sharp. Tell Raven.” 

They actually stuck to their word. Remus had a stack of books in case they needed resources. Most, if not all of the books appeared to have been nicked from the Restricted Section. 

“So,” Harry began, flipping through the journal, “I think we have the rest of the year left before we’re ready.” 

“The rest of the year?” James folded his arms and leaned back in his chair. 

“It’s not easy. You and I have Quidditch, and we all have homework. If we did it before the end of the year, everyone’d have the summer to practice transforming. It’s better that we go over the procedure—” 

“Yeah, I get it.”

“If you want a guarantee that we’ll be done in time, you could help out. Double-check everything.” 

James glanced at Sirius. “Okay. For the sake of marauding.” 

As February 14th approached, most students were preparing gifts, excited to have a break from studies. Harry, however, worried that after last year’s events, something awful would happen on Valentine’s Day. 

He was right to worry. 

Lily slammed her drink down on the table. “No.” Severus flinched, and a few people turned to look at her.

“Er, what—”

“I’m tired of your excuses about everything! And the lying; you think I don’t know when you’re not telling the truth.”

Severus stared at her, wide-eyed. “Lily, it’s not—”

“Just stop!” she screeched. Harry had never seen her so furious with Severus. 

She stood up and faced him, fists clenched and shaking. 

“You’re so timid about everything. You don’t know how to stand up for yourself. You complain about James bullying, but you and your gang do the same thing. You say you want to be friends, but you torment every Mudblood that isn’t me.” 

Harry saw Severus’ eyes narrowing, dulling as he pushed his emotions inward. Should I help? This is what I meant to prevent, and now it was happening again. Not in the same way, though…would that mean they’d still have a change to make up? 

“I see no reason in staying friends.” Some of the spectators smirked, some felt guilty to be listening. Lily’s leaned in close to Severus’ face. 

“I hate you.” 

It was barely a whisper, but Harry heard it all too clearly. It echoed in his mind until the words no longer sounded like words, just harsh syllables.

Remus, Raven, and Harry sat in a shocked silence. James, Sirius, and Peter were bent over their food, smirking. 

Lily spun around and stormed off.

Severus stared after her, face contorting. He stood and hurried out of the Hall. Harry followed him, ignoring the stares and the whispers.

It didn’t happen like this before. Everything had been fine, where did this come from? 

He had no more time to contemplate, he could only be there for him. “Hang on, Severus!” 

Harry withdrew a bit when he heard the shaking of Severus’ breath. They stopped just outside the Great Hall. 

“She didn’t mean what she said.” Harry couldn’t see Severus’ face.

“But you agree with her.” Severus’ voice was higher than normal. 

Harry did agree, so he said, evasively, “I’m just saying she doesn’t hate you.” 

Severus started walking again, more quickly this time. 

“Stop!” Harry grabbed his Severus’ arm, which twisted uselessly beneath his grip. 

“WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT?” Severus’ face contorted in fury. “YOU THINK YOU OWN ME, BUT YOU DON’T! YOU CAN’T FIX THINGS! I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP!” He took off the watch Harry had given him and threw it on the ground. It bounced, but didn’t break. At this, tears sprung in Severus’ eyes. “Just leave me alone…” Then he blinked, and his dark eyes widened. “Potter?” 

Harry felt as though he’d jumped into the pond in the Forest of Dean. What did Severus mean, “Potter?” He looked around; there was no one else there. 

“What—how…” Severus closed his eyes, shaking his head, and whatever he saw seemed to be gone. Then he remembered what he’d felt and said the minute before. “Bye.” 

Harry quickly looked at his reflection in the face of his watch. It was not his father, nor Harry, who looked back at him. It was definitely— 

“Jacob!” Raven ran up to him, face flushed. “Lily said she wouldn’t be friends with me if I was friends with him, I don’t know what’s wrong with her…” She trailed off. “Are you okay?”

Harry looked away, wishing she’d do the same. How humiliating to cry at something so trivial as a nineteen-year-old, even if only he knew his true age. “Fine.” 

Raven wasn’t convinced. “We need to talk to Lily.” 

“Right.” What had Severus seen? Could he see through my appearance, or had James simply appeared behind me?

Raven and Harry hurried back to the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, where Lily sat, trembling. 

“What was that about?” Raven demanded. 

“I just hate him so much.” Lily didn’t look at them properly. Her eyes were slightly out of focus. 

“You mean to say you suddenly—out of nowhere—hate your best friend? When did you become insane?” 

Harry noticed the Marauders whispering and laughing. Remus’ grin seemed forced, and it disappeared when he met Harry’s glare.

“Sounds like Evans has finally come to her senses.” James was unable to hide a glow of satisfaction.

“Sounds like you want a mouthful of dragon shit,” snapped Raven. Everyone who heard gaped at her in surprise.

James’ eyes narrowed. “I don’t like your tone, Faralyn. Luckily for you, I happen to know a great spell that could fix it for you: shutus thefuckupeus.” 

Raven snorted. “And I don’t like your ugly face, Potter. Unfortunately for you, the only way you could change it is by magically fixing a bag over your head.” 

A few people oohed, and James’ face flushed.

“At least I’m not a traitor. You don’t belong in Gryffindor or Slytherin.” 

Raven shot a spell right at James’ chest. 

Harry thought he saw Dumbledore look their way. “C’mon, Raven, he’s not worth it.”

“I know. But he deserved that.” 

As they walked by, James was huddled in his seat, rubbing his arms, face white.

“What’d you do to him?” 

“Freezing Hex. Innocent enough, but it’ll be a while before he thaws.” 

Harry told Raven he’d deal with Severus alone. Severus was sitting on his bedside, facing away from the door. 

“Severus? Are you okay?” His figure didn’t move; Harry thought he’d been petrified until he faced him.

Severus’ eyes were blank, staring straight ahead. “I’m actually fine.” 

“Are you—are you sure? What about what Lily said?” 

“Fine.”

“Fine? Severus, you screamed at me hardly fifteen minutes ago, your best friend told you she hates you, and you’re fine?” 

“I’m going to sleep.”

“James and Sirius did something to Lily. She didn’t mean what she said.” 

“It doesn’t matter,” Severus said into his pillow. 

“Okay. Believe what you want. It’s not my problem.” Why do I waste my time on him? He has to be the most socially incompetent person in school. Harry left Severus’ watch on his bed.