The Hate Potion, pt. 1

“Hey, traitor!”

“Mudblood lover.” 

“Freak.” 

“You’re not gonna make it long after Hogwarts, you know that, don’t you, Faralyn?” 

Harry wouldn’t let Raven go anywhere without someone else accompanying her. Severus refused to do so, but he was never with the Slytherins when she was targeted.

Raven, Remus, and Harry were walking through the corridor on Saturday when the attacks escalated. A Slytherin hit Harry in the back with a Full Body-Bind Curse and snatched his wand. Remus took the offender out with the same spell and they ran into an empty classroom.

Remus wouldn’t let her out until twenty minutes after, when he thought it’d be safe. It took that long for a passerby to unfreeze Harry. 

By the last few days before the holidays, seeing Severus outside of class was a rare occasion. Which is why Severus was surprised when Lily asked at breakfast, “Have you guys packed yet?”

“I’m almost ready,” Harry replied. Severus nodded in agreement, a harmless lie. He was sure his involvement in the Dark Arts would’ve exempted him from Christmas at Lily’s.

“Cool.” Lily turned to Raven, who ran up to them as she tied her long hair into a ponytail. Raven was happier than Harry had ever seen her, especially now that she was more resistant to verbal attacks from the Slytherins. She smiled more, laughed more, and was closer to the Lily, who had a positive effect on her. Still, there were times when Raven’d fall into a state of listlessness, brought on by seeing one her former Slytherin friends or sometimes (in Harry’s view) for no reason at all. 

The train ride to King’s Cross was brief. The train had been decorated with holly, everlasting icicles, and tinsel. In some compartments, tiny snowflakes drifted down from the ceiling, vanishing if they touched the ground without landing on a student.

Sirius and Peter were staying at Hogwarts. The full moon had just passed, so Remus felt comfortable going home for Christmas. Otherwise, he endangered himself and his parents. 

When the train pulled up to King’s Cross, it was Severus who was by far the most nervous. He smoothed down his wrinkled shirt front, trying to look presentable. Lily fussed at his state and charmed his shirt so it looked freshly ironed. 

Mr. and Mrs. Evans met the group at the station, then drove them on a long and awkward car ride home. 

Petunia greeted them at the door, wearing a plaid, neatly-ironed dress. Her expression soured as Severus and Raven walked past. 

“Well, this is it,” Mrs. Evans said, looking over them warmly. 

Harry realized both he and Severus had stayed overnight at Lily’s house without their parents knowing, and he once more had the feeling that he was intruding. 

“So, this is the kitchen.” Mrs. Evans walked them through the living room. “Breakfast is at nine, I’ll make the rounds if someone’s not up.”

“We waited to decorate the tree!” Petunia beamed at Harry. 

“Right, that’ll be before dinner tomorrow.” Mrs. Evans guided them downstairs to the basement. There was one mattress in the back of the room, a sleeping bag and blankets set up on the floor next to it. 

“This is where you two will sleep,” she said to the boys. She lead them back to the main floor, then upstairs. 

When they entered Lily’s bedroom, Harry noticed Severus shift uncomfortably. 

“Raven, you’ll sleep here, like last time.” Mrs. Evans nodded toward the trundle beside Lily’s bed. “And we’ll be in the room down the hall if there’s an emergency.” 

Petunia appeared in the doorway.“Dad has everyone’s things. The girls can shower in the evening, and the boys in the morning.” 

Downstairs, Mr. Evans helped them with their suitcases. “Girls upstairs by ten, boys downstairs by ten.” His gaze fell pointedly on Severus and Harry. Neither of them needed further explanation. 

“If you need anything, just ask.” Mrs. Evans smiled warmly at them. Mr. Evans was looking curiously at the owls. Severus’ owl, Luna, seemed to hold him in a trance for a good twenty seconds before he managed to look away.

Severus and Harry unpacked in silence.

At least, it was silent until Severus caught a glimpse of Harry’s borrowed purse. 

“Why do you have that?” he asked, peering over at the suitcase Harry had quickly shoved the purse back into. 

“It’s my mom’s. I, er, stole it.” 

“Why’d you steal it?” Severus had stopped what he was doing, and his black eyes searched Harry. Jacob had proved to be a rule-follower—definitely not a thief. 

Harry hoped his discomfort would be taken as guilt. “Because…if I stole the purse…then she wouldn’t suspect me. Well, first, I stole it for money; she wouldn’t give me anything for supplies. If I had just stolen the wallet, then it’d be more obvious, so I had to take the purse, too. She thinks she just lost it or something.”

Severus nodded, but more to himself, as he looked back at his suitcase. 

A couple days passed. It was at first strange for the four of them to be together outside of school, but they soon fell into the rhythm of it. 

“Biscuit?” 

“Thanks.” 

Petunia paused behind Harry, watching him take a bite.

“Er, is there something on my face?”

“I just wanted to see if you won. You didn’t.” 

“Win what?”

Petunia had become increasingly more annoying to Harry. It was easy, at first, to separate her from her older self. Now, it was hard for Harry to ignore the distasteful looks she cast that reminded him all too clearly of the times she would wrinkle her nose at him, as if he’d crawled into the house from the plumbing. As if it was his fault he was a constant reminder of his mother to her.

The sound of glass shattering and Severus cursing stifled Petunia’s reply. 

“Lily, I’m sorry, it just slipped. What’s wrong? It was an accident…” 

Petunia was quick on the scene. “That’s her ornament, her favorite one, and you broke it, you—”

“Tuney, I—I’m fine.” Lily swallowed, blinking to keep her composure. “It’s just an ornament.” 

Green and gold shards littered the ground. The biggest piece, the chipped head of the rabbit, stared at Harry blankly. 

Mrs. Evans came into the room with her standard fretful, doting expression. “What happened? What broke?” 

“Severus did it!”

Mrs. Evans looked from Petunia to Severus to the ornament on the ground. “He only dropped it, don’t be upset, girls, it didn’t break. How, I don’t know…and what about that smashing sound?”

“Everything’s fine, Mrs. Evans,” Harry chimed in. “And thank you for the cookies.”

 “You’re welcome, love. Oh, did Petunia tell you? If your biscuit has chocolate in the center, you get to put the star on the tree. Last year, Mr. Evans won.” The others seemed to only distantly hear this; they all stared at the gold-and-green bunny, which was back in one piece.

“I’ll leave you to it, I suppose.” Mrs. Evans went back to her baking.

“Who fixed it?” Lily asked in a low voice. 

“I saw Severus do it,” Harry said, giving him a small nod as a cue.

“Sev, you didn’t have to do that. You could get in serious trouble. What if you were expelled?” 

“I…”

“Thank you, though, Sev.” 

Severus accepted her hug, too distracted to appreciate it. 

On his way to use the bathroom, Severus confronted Harry. “Why did you do that? Why didn’t the Trace work?” 

“I did it because, if you haven’t noticed, your relationship with Lily is a little shaky. I don’t know why the Trace didn’t work, but I bet most people in Ministry are on holiday, so they wouldn’t have time to deal with a little accident involving a Repairing Charm.” 

That night, the four sat in a circle on the ground around Severus’ mattress. Raven and Severus leaned against Harry’s bed, with Harry across from Severus, and Lily across from Raven.

“We should play Truth or Dare,” Lily said, when their mugs of hot cocoa were empty. 

Raven uncrossed her legs. “What’s Truth or Dare?”

“Oh, right, it’s a Muggle game, you wouldn’t know. Well, how ’bout I start. I’ll ask someone, ‘Truth or Dare?’ and they choose one, and I ask them a Truth or a Dare.”

The other three nodded. Severus shifted uncomfortably. 

“Okay, Raven, Truth or Dare?” 

“Er…” Raven’s eyes flickered to Severus, then back at Lily. “Dare.” 

“Hm…I dare you to…talk while holding your tongue for the next two rounds.”

“I have to?” 

“That’s how the game works, yeah.”

Severus shifted, nervous. “Do Muggles actually play this game? Jacob, have you ever played this game? No?”

“Just give it a chance! Unless you have something other than Wizard’s Chess to play. Okay, Raven, now you ask someone.” 

Raven eyes skimmed Severus, but then she decided, tongue between her fingers: “Jacop, Tooth o’ Dare?” 

Harry shrugged. “Truth.” This had to be a low point in their maturity, even for twelve-year-olds. 

“Er, how about…oh!” Raven grinned as best as she could while holding her tongue. “Ith ‘ou ‘ad thoo choose anyone in the thcool to date, ‘oo would it be?” 

Harry frowned. To them, it was a harmless, silly question. For him, the pain over Ginny made it difficult to respond. 

“I don’t like anyone, though.” 

“It doesn’t mather. Chooth thomeone!” 

“I guess Violetta, but…” 

Lily and Raven exchanged a glance and smirked.

“I don’t like her, though!” 

“Sure, Jacob.” Lily still smiled, convinced. 

“Lily, Truth or Dare.” Harry agreed with Severus that they should do something else.

“Truth.” 

“If you had to date someone in the school, who would it be?” 

Lily stopped smiling. “But I don’t like anyone!” 

Harry raised his eyebrows, and Lily sighed. Severus stared at her, and Harry noticed his hands were clenched.

“Fine, then I guess Remus.” 

Severus couldn’t help himself; “Why Remus?” 

“Shh!” Lily glanced toward the stairs. “I dunno, he’s nice, and not obnoxious, like James. I don’t actually fancy him, although, if I had to choose…”

Severus leaned back against the bed. Harry thought he saw his eyes shining, but at the next glance he decided he’d just imagined it.

“Raven, you can let go of your tongue now. And, you haven’t gone yet, Sev, so Truth or Dare?” 

“Dare,” Severus replied immediately. He probably saw the game as a binding contract to tell the truth, and couldn’t risk the question of the last two Truths. 

“Dare…hm…I’m really bad at these. Jacob, Raven, help me.” 

Raven seemed hopeful.

Noticing Raven’s expression, Harry became torn; he sometimes, without meaning to, supported her feelings for Severus. Should he try to push them away, because Severus could never feel the same way about her? 

Harry whispered his idea to Lily.

“Hold hands with Raven for five minutes,” Lily told Severus. 

Harry was the only one who noticed Raven’s nervousness as Severus reached across to her, avoiding her gaze. They fumbled for a moment before their fingers were locked. 

“Severus. Ask someone Truth or Dare.” 

“Jacob, Truth or Dare.” 

“Truth.”

Severus met his eyes, serious. “Why do you sometimes look like James?”

Harry froze. Lily and Raven looked between them, confused. 

Like James…like James…When did the spells not work? Or had something else happened? “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Never mind.” Severus’ fingers tightened around Raven’s; she flinched.

“Here, Sev, I have an idea.” Lily leaned in and whispered something to Severus. 

Severus huffed. “Fine, what’s your favorite thing about each person here?” 

“Oh.” Harry thought for a moment. He pushed away thoughts about Ron and Hermione. “My favorite thing about Raven is…how she cares for people. She’s always there for us.” He couldn’t have truthfully said that until after she’d left the Slytherins. In Raven’s eyes, though, it was clear that after leaving them she still believed she’d abandoned Severus.

“As for Lily, she’s incredibly kind, and stands up for people.”

Severus’ eyes locked on Lily’s guilty, downturned ones.

“And my favorite thing about Severus is…” Harry thought of the person who died for love, not out of selfish reasons, but for Harry’s own life.

“His determination. How he spends time to get something done, and he doesn’t give up…even if, well…” Harry stopped.

Raven’s fingers were red from the pressure of Severus’.

Harry thought for a moment. “Raven. Truth or Dare.”

“I’ll do Truth this time.” 

Harry paused. “Is there anything you’d give up magic for?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Really? What?”

“Well, if someone was dying, and that was the only way…or,” she glanced at Severus, then her eyes traveled back around the room. “No, yeah, something like that. Alright, Truth or Dare, Severus.” 

“Truth.”