Understanding the Past (Drew's pov)

I ruffle my hands through his hair, twisting my fingers over his scalp, looping back around a few times before smiling down at my sleeping boyfriend. I couldn't help but remember the mental breakdown he had. He tried to be strong for me, for me, but he couldn't take it anymore, he just couldn't.

His muffled snoring, making me blush as I kiss his forehead, lifting his head off of my thighs and clambering off of his bed slowly as not to wake him. I smiled at him, knowing damn well that this bliss that we were in wouldn't last forever. Jake shuffles from the lost of warmth, my body heat no longer radiating onto him. I grab the deep blue blanket off of his bed and pull it over him, smiling warmly as I open the door and exit his room.

I walk down the hall towards the living room, analyzing the photos once more as I shuffle down the stairs into the living room, noticing a familiar shape on the sofa. Jake's mom, sitting, scrunched up in the corner of the couch, watching the empty black screen of a TV in front of her. She seemed like she was waiting for me to leave, wanting to tell me something and then watch as I walked off into the night back towards my place.

"Drew, can I talk to you?" she asks, turning her head to the left to look at me, her eyes a tad bit sorrowful as she bit her lip out of sheer nervousness. I turned my body to the left, looking at her with curious eyes, my hands gliding down the bumpy banister as I continued my way down the stairs toward Mrs. Sterling. "Yes ma'am, what is it that you need to talk about?" I ask, trying to sound civil as to not upset her. I knew she wasn't mad or even sad, no matter how upset and sorrowful she looked, I knew she was happy.

"It's about my son," she said, pausing mid-sentence, trying to ease into the conversation as I plopped down awfully slow next to her, never breaking eye contact. "Yeah?" I asked, curious as to what she wanted to discuss about Jake. "I know that you two..." she swallowed a lump in her throat, shaking her head and then returning back to face me. "Are an item," she let go of a breath she probably wasn't aware that she was holding. I let out a small gasp, cusping my hand over my mouth before doing the same with the other. How could she possibly have known? Did she see us in Jake's room? Did she read his diary or something? No, she wouldn't read his diary, she's quite sensible, she would only ever check his diary if something was seriously wrong with him, and that's not the case.

"How did you..."

"A mother always knows." I shake my head, clearing my thoughts of this terrible feeling deep in my chest. I covered my chest with my left arm, feeling my heart beat inside of me as I began to shake. If she was able to find out so so easily, then so would my father, and surely he'd kick me out and my mother wouldn't go against it because god knows that she doesn't have the strength to fight him off of her, much less the both of us.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone, not your father or even Jake's father. Jake can tell us when he's comfortable. I could never do that to him, never." I looked at her with amazement, she didn't even seem to be worried about it or scared or even disgusted like my dad would be, she seemed calm and relaxed, no longer holding in the news she needed to tell me. I smiled, looking back over at her, my arm no longer over my chest and my heart rate slowing down to a regular pace. "Thank you for that," I say, nearly crying, whispering like a little kid and trying to keep my composure, wiping my eyes every few seconds, sniffling a little bit. "Hun', it's okay!" she exclaims, throwing her arm sloppily around my shoulder, turning her body to face me, her excited expression leaving her face as she showed her sorrowful yet happy facial expression.

"There's nothing to worry about, everything is okay."

"Now, are you both gay or what?" she asks, smiling sinisterly. I roll my eyes, patting her arm lightly before returning my eyes to hers. "Well, I'm gay, Jake isn't ready for you to know his, so I'll leave it up to him to tell you." she looks at me and smiles a happy smile, patting me on the back and looking into my chocolate eyes. "If you want, you can stay the night," she said, her eyes silk and her voice honey.

I smile, knowing what would wait for me at home anyway. I haven't been home yet and I have lots and lots of unread messages and unanswered calls from my dad, lots of voicemails clouding my inbox with yelling and anger. I remember what one of them said, the most important one. The one voicemail where he specifically told me not to come home, I'm in for a long ride with Jake.

~Later~

Jake looked into my eyes, worry and fear drowning them. It's been 3 days since that mishap, my eyes are baggy and my clothes stained, still wearing the clothes I had on a few days ago. Jake grabbed on to the sides of my face, looking directly into my Sepia eyes, I couldn't keep it from him anymore, not even if I wanted to.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I kept on shouting, throwing both of my hands up over my ears, my body slightly rocking with my knees scrunched up to my chest, tears desperately streaming down my face, begging for attention. I wanted to stop, but my river of tears wouldn't stop, couldn't stop. He wrapped his arms around my torso, burying his face into the crook of my neck, kissing it gently and rubbing his thumbs over my back through my sweatshirt, my tears slowing a little and my whines growing quieter as my legs slowly unravel and lay flat, my arms moving from my ears to around his torso as well.

"Now, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice as soft as silk, his honey brown eyes staring into mine as he straddled my waist, his arms draped over my shoulders, his head tilted down slightly with his irises pointed towards mine, stirring my feelings up. I sniffle, blowing my nose and rubbing my eyes slowly. "My dad kicked me out," I mumbled, my words audible to him, his hands wrapping around my face, grabbing the back of my neck and pulling me into a long delicate kiss. "It'll be okay," he said in a pity-filled voice, "It will all be okay."

I knew what Jake was going to ask me, I knew because I know Jake and I know how he functions. He's always been kinder than most people to walk on earth ever. I looked over at Jake, my tears now dry, trying to break the tension. "I talked to your mom earlier," I said drowsily, upset about the conversation held a few days ago. "Yeah?" he says, my head rested in his lap as his fingers overlap my scalp, intertwining the violet pieces of hair in between his fingers. "She knows about us," I admit, saying it slowly to begin with but ending it with a pop of my lips. I feel him jolt a little, trying not to alert me. I turn my body to face him, seeing the panicked expression on his face and the jittery jerks and movements of his body. "She doesn't care, y'know," I say softly, "She was honestly kinda excited." His body jerks once more before he rocks his body back and forth, squeezing onto my torso and shaking me about until he got his excitement out.

I straighten myself out once more, gaining composure again after the world stopped spinning from the violent shaking. "Babe, calm down," I say, chuckling a little, the smile plastered on my face widening. I seriously wonder how everyday I could be so lucky as to see Jake everyday and kiss him and love on him and he's fine with it, I wonder all of the time how he's not physically and mentally disgusted with me. Jake squeezes my arms, savoring the little moments like this where we can be whoever or whatever we want without anyone's judgement.

I laid us back down, intertwining my fingers into his blonde hair with rosy tips, watching as he dug his head into my chest, getting comfortable with me, pulling a blanket over the both of us. Jake hums, the vibrations being sent through my chest as I matched his rhythm with my mouth as well, closing my eyes, allowing myself to soak in this moment of glory. I listen as his humming slowly comes to a stop and is instead replaced by a light snore. I giggle, pointing my head down and looking at the sleeping blonde underneath me. I smile a sad smile, rubbing my thumb over his left temple as the tears strolled down my cheeks.

~Later~

I wake up by myself, Jake no longer in my arms pressed up against me, no longer showing me safety. I rubbed my eyes, basking in the evening sun as I stretched out of Jake's bed, stamping my feet on the wooden floor, gripping the bedside table and lifting myself up. My hair was a mess and my hoodie was pulled partially over my stomach, showing my tan skin underneath. I smiled before slicking over my hair with my hand and lowering my sweatshirt over my stomach before making my way around Jake's bed and down the stairs.

I looked over at the living area, seeing two familiar silhouettes rested on the sofa in a stern pose. I listened to their conversation, Jake's mom saying something that struck me, she was talking about how she'll always love him no matter what, had he decided to come out to her? I made my way down the rest of the stairs, turning to enter the living room, looking at Jake with a raised eyebrow. "Oh, hey Drew," he said calmly and sweetly, walking over to me before pecking me on the lips, instantly meshing together as we did the first time we kissed.

I smiled sweetly as he pulled back, smiling in return and walking back over to his mother, flashing her a smile before patting the vacant spot next to him while looking at me. I followed his intended directions and walked over towards him, plopping down next to him on the gray sofa and leaning on his shoulder casually. Jake rubbed his thumb over the bend of my elbow, caressing my arm gently, rubbing circles over my forearm. He turned his head to the left, leaning it up slightly to my ear, whispering softly into it. "I told my mom I'm bisexual," he says, leaning his head on mine shortly after and raising his arm to wrap it around my neck gently, hugging me with his jacket and engulfing me in his warmth.

I wonder if it will always be like this, warm sunny October afternoons with a light breeze and swaying trees, just basking in the sun rays that had shown through Jake's blinds. I wondered if we would still be able to sit next to each other, watching Avengers and eating popcorn, my head on his shoulder, his eyes spread wide as he watched the events unfold in front of him, his reactions looking as if he's never seen the movie before, even though he has.

We jolt back up the stairs, heading to his room, chasing each other playfully until we tired out and collapsed onto his comforter. We panted heavily, our chests heaving up and down desperately, attempting to gain control of our breathing. Jake finally calmed, slowing his breathing down to a regular pace, my breathing still a little off paced. He shoves his hand through his blonde hair, tearing through the knots in his hair, the blonde locks shaggy and messed up more than they already were.

I look up at him, his light brown eyes staring into mine passionately, I chuckled as I threw a soccer ball at him, hitting him in the shoulder as he pretended to wince out in pain. I laugh and roll my eyes playfully, crawling on top of his supposedly dead body, laying my head down on his warm chest, my violet hair being pressed into his classic Indigo jacket. I realize that my sleeve rolled up, revealing the deep engravings in my wrists. I pull them down immediately, making sure that Jake didn't notice the beige cuts throughout my arms, some fresher than other, the oldest one being 5 years of age and the newest being 4 months old, my self-induced scars being hidden behind the curtain of cloth that laid on my arm.

Jake noticed my shuffling and sat up a little, looking at me in a concerned manner. I smiled sweetly at him in response. He can't find out about this, I don't want him to worry about me, I don't want him to butt in on this, and I certainly don't want him to pity me. I haven't done it in awhile, I'm fine, I have to be fine, for Jake, for me.

Author's note: Hey everyone! Sorry that it took so long to upload this and the fact that it's shorter than the first and second chapter. I tried to make it longer, adding events and whatnot, but not really reaching the amount of words I wanted to. Thank you to everyone who has voted, liked, read, and/or commented, it makes me feel more motivated to finish school work and work on this story! Anyway, thank you for reading!

Q: What is the best feeling in the world and why?

A: I personally think that the best feeling is when the first few drops of rain seep down onto you from the sky right before a downpour that soaks your clothes, I just love the feeling for some reason.