Chapter 1: The Old Newspaper

18:00, 17 October 2022

https://youtu.be/fcWZpi1gXL0

Luigi: This is ridiculous... why are there so many Storage boxes?

Pio: These boxes contain my old stuff and I want to decorate this Loft.

Luigi: With your old stuff?

Pio: This will be the room of flash-backs.

Luigi: OK, fair enough...

Pio: And where's your brother?

Luigi: He's at the garden with his Pregnant wife.

Pio: Well, isn't he gonna help us?

Luigi: I tried everything I could... Watch this.

Luigi went up to the window.

Luigi: MARIO!!!

Mario: PISS OFF, LUIGI!!!

Luigi: See...

Pio: Well... who needs him, these days?

Luigi: Right, let's get started.

When Luigi opened one of the boxes...

Luigi: What the hell?

Pio: What is it, son?

Luigi: Look at this newspaper!

Luigi: This newspaper is really old!

Pio: Oh yeah, I've been keeping that for a long time.

Luigi: Look at the date! It says it's from 1957!!!

Pio: Yeah, it sure does.

Luigi: Dad, you've been keeping a newspaper that was published way back in 1957?!

Pio: I have, actually! BTW, the newspaper is Italian...

Luigi: OMG, that's interesting! MARIO!!!

Luigi rushed out of the loft.

Outside...

Luigi: Yo, Mario!!!

Mario: *sigh* What the hell do you want?

Luigi: I found this old newspaper!

...

Mario: Do you want a medal?

Luigi: It's from 1957!

Meggy: Wait, really?

Luigi: And to be honest, I actually can't read what it says... because, the newspaper is Italian...

Pio: Well, you two have been living in Italy through-out your child-hood.

Mario: We actually don't speak Italian very well... our mother was English...

Luigi: But... what does it say?

Pio: Well... this headline was about a kid who got tossed into a lake in USA.

Mario/Meggy/Luigi: WHAT?!

Pio: And apparently, the kid was mentally disabled...

Luigi: Dad, you were living in 1957! Did you remember the time when it was announced?

Pio: Well, I was just a little boy when it happened. I remember my Dad AKA your Grandpa telling me all about it.

[FLASH-BACK]

Pio: Hey Papa, can I go swimming in the lake?

Pio's Dad: No, boy!!! A kid drowned in the lake and you're not joining him in Hell!!!

Pio: Aw, shucks...

[FLASH-BACK ENDS]

Pio: The kid's name was Jason Voorhees and he was only 11 years old when he drowned.

Luigi: Wow, he was older than you!

Pio: So, your Grandpa gave me this newspaper and that headline really interested me. And, that made me not to swim in lakes again.

Mario: So, let me get this straight... You've been keeping a 60-odd years old newspaper and that made you not to swim in lakes ever again?

Pio: I haven't swam in lakes ever since...

Mario: Scaredy Cat...

Pio: And it also happened on Friday 13th September 1957, and Legends says that; every Friday the 13th... Jason comes back to life and kills people.

Luigi: Wait, what?

Meggy: This Jason bloke comes back to life and kills people?

Pio: Correct, but it's not just the lake that he drowned in... he comes out of any random lake in the whole world and starts killing people he sees!!!

Luigi: What?

Pio: Every Friday the 13th... he comes out of a random lake and starts killing people because he's mad, that nobody helped him out of a lake... he didn't take swimming lessons...

Mario: Well, that was stupid...

Pio: When's the next Friday the 13th?

Meggy: It's actually tomorrow.

Mario: It's Thursday 12th May 2022 today.

Pio: OMG, THAT MEANS THERE'S GONNA BE LOTS OF MURDERS TOMORROW!!!

Mario: Eh?

Pio: Oh Jesus... what if Jason Voorhees comes out of the lake that's in town?!

Mario: Have you gone insane?!

Pio: Oh, hell no!!! I saw him with my own two eyes!

Luigi: What?!

Pio: He came out of the lake that I wanted to swim when I was little on the 1st Friday the 13th when Mario was alive.

[FLASH-BACK]

Pio: It was 1985... I was walking through town, when all of a sudden I heard screaming... I went to check it out and... there he was!!! Jason Voorhees... the kid who drowned in the lake turned into a proper human adult!!! So, I ran away and I thought to myself... he was real, after all!!!

[FLASH-BACK ENDS]

Pio: So, you see... Jason Voorhees has turned into some sort of Russian serial killer or something!!!

...

Mario/Meggy/Luigi: *LAUGHING*

Pio: What's so funny?!

Mario: Dad, when you die... you die! End of!

Meggy: People can't just come back to life, you know!

Luigi: That's probably just a myth that you made up!

Pio: Eh?! I'm telling you all... there will be lots of murders, tomorrow night!!!

Mario: Sure Grandpa, let's get you to bed.

Pio: You what?!

Luigi: Come on, you two! Let's go.