𝟐.𝟏𝟎

──── 「COUP DE GRACE」 ────

     I knew there was nothing they could do to save Finn, same way I knew whatever Clarke chose to do, wouldn't be easy on her. I didn't blame Raven for how she was creating; after all, I much rather her yelling at me than doing something rash. If that was what I had to become, what she needed from me, I'd gladly take it. I glanced back at them for a second before I made my way to Medbay where I knew Octavia would be watching over Lincoln.

- "Hey, am I interrupting something?"

- "We're just talking, Sam." –Octavia hugged me- "I have something for you though." –she spoke with a smirk on her face.

- "I'm not sure I'm going to like this."

She punched me as hard as she could on my upper arm, making me take a couple of steps back and raise my hand to where she had hit me to massage the spot.

- "That's for leaving to get yourself killed without saying anything."

- "I see." –I smiled moving back next to her- "I deserve it. Next time I try something like that, I won't tell you either, don't mind me."

- "You sure are stupidly in love with death."

- "I try to do what's best for all of us."

- "I'm not having this discussion right now."

- "Good," –I faced Lincoln- "because I was coming to see your boyfriend who gave us a major scare, by the way."

- "Hey, Sam." –Lincoln greeted me with a smile.

- "How are you feeling?"

- "I'm getting better, slowly but it's best than how I was when you found me."

- "I'm glad you're back. I was already used to having you around."

- "Thank you." –he smiled a bit- "We've been told you went to see the Commander."

- "I guess you do." –I replied, looking sideways at Octavia who only smiled at me- "There's nothing any of us could have done for Finn."

- "How's Raven?"

- "Not too good. I just hope it'll be quick and he dies soon."

- "The Commander told you about the ritual?"

- "Yeah. When I told her to take me instead of Finn she explained what I was signing up for. I don't think anyone could survive till sunrise but maybe just half of it; that's why I said we should have killed Finn instead... quick and painless, but everyone thought I was insane."

- "The Grounders wouldn't have appreciated that."

- "Well, I wasn't thinking about the Grounders when I said it." –I retorted sarcastically- "Either way it's too late, Finn turned himself in so there's truly nothing we can do now."

- "I'm glad she didn't take your offer, Sam; you're a friend I wouldn't like to see die."

- "That's very nice of you, Lincoln. I hope we'll all get to live a long happy life together." -Octavia and Lincoln looked at each other before we all busted out laughing - "But, I have to be honest now. I didn't only come here to check on you, although that was the main reason."

- "What's wrong?"

- "Nothing." –I quickly answered Octavia, soothing her worries- "The Commander made me an offer and, well, since you're a Grounder, Lincoln, I thought you may be able to help me out."

- "Anything you need, Sam."

- "So, basically she told me how you guys try to get to know the best warriors and healers and all that jazz from other clans, I'm guessing to know what you'd be up to if a war stroke." -Lincoln nodded- "She told me some of you had spoken to her about me."

- "What do you mean 'some of you'?" –Octavia asked, looking at me and Lincoln in turns.

- "Lexa, I mean, the Commander told me Anya told her about us at the bridge, Nyko told her what I did at the village and she got some more information about me from Lincoln's friends."

- "Sam, I'm..."

- "No, it's fine. It's nothing bad, I promise." –I squeezed his hand, sitting on the bed he was on as he patted it- "Anyway, the thing is she is convinced I have this great potential to become a great warrior or soldier or something like that."

- "You do,"  –Octavia encouraged me- "you're a good fight, Sam."

- "What was the offer?"

- "Yeah, so, for all those reasons she offered me to train with them, with you, with the Grounders I mean. She knows I want to be able to protect the ones I love and she offers me that power through training."

- "What does she get from this?"

- "Me getting to know them, their traditions and that they are not savages which I don't think you are," –I glanced at Lincoln- "but she seems to think since some of the people here do, then we all must think the same."

- "Just that?" –Octavia was suspicious- "Seems off."

- "There's one more thing to it, really." -Octavia rose her eyebrows, prompting me to continue- "She says that maybe, if I become good enough and get to like them, I could become one of her warriors."

Octavia remained silent, her face didn't show any emotions; it was a blank expression that was doing nothing to ease my mind.

- "Sam, do you know what that means?" -Lincoln grabbed my attention- "Not many of us get to be called to fight hand in hand for the Commander."

- "I'm guessing that means it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity type of shit."

- "It is." -Lincoln nodded at me and I smiled gratefully- "Although I don't think you came here for advice but rather for permission." –he glanced at Octavia.

- "I did want to know what your opinion was," -I faced Octavia- "but I also wanted to tell O before I did something about it."

- "The offer is for you Sam," -she finally smiled, standing in front of me- "not for me."

- "I thought you should know, I don't want to take it if it's going to make things weird between us."

- "You and I have gone through a lot together to ever drift apart." –Octavia chuckled- "I don't want you not taking it because you think it'd damage our friendship." -I opened my mouth to protest but she cut me off- "Listen, Sam, I know you too well. I'm sure you already know what you want to do."

- "I do."

- "Then why are you looking at me like that?" –she chuckled.

- "I... I guess I was worried you'd hate me or something if I took the offer because of everything that's been going on."

- "Sam," –she laughed- "my boyfriend is a Grounder."

- "I mean, yeah."

- "You should know better by now." –she punched me lightly on the upper arm- "Have you talked about this to anyone else?"

- "You both are the first I explained it completely to. I told your brother the Grounders wouldn't harm me because of an offer the Commander had made to me but I didn't explain it to him. I also told Murphy a bit about it."

- "And?"

- "Murphy said he's on my side whatever I choose to do. I still need to talk with Bellamy."

- "Not that is my business but, Sam, this offer is for you and only you." -Lincoln glanced at me, a knowing look I had come to learn so well- "Why are you concerned about what others may say now?"

- "Well, because there'd be no point in me training to protect the ones I love if there's no one left that likes me."

- "You know Bellamy would never stop loving you."

Octavia's take took me off guard, furrowing my eyebrows and turning to face her, the smug smile on her face and her arms crossed over her chest told me she had been dying to make that remark. I was about to get back at her when Raven's screams interrupted us.

- "I should go check what happened." –I excused myself- "I'll come back later."

- "I'll go with you."

- "No, it's fine. Stay with Lincoln."

Lincoln thanked me for the visit and I hugged Octavia goodbye. Once I got out and made my way to the front, I saw Raven screaming and crying on the ground in Bellamy's arms. I guess it's started. I walked up to them as Bellamy looked up to face me, he shook his head towards the Grounders camp and I followed his gaze. From what I could tell, Finn was dead but there was no fire or Grounders around him. I kept looking only to see Clarke standing with Lexa, talking, I assumed.

- "She did it." –I whispered mostly to myself in surprise.

- "You gave her the idea!" –Raven yelled at me- "This is your fault. His death is on you!"

I looked at her. She looked so small and so broken, my heart broke seeing her like that. Maybe I could have saved Finn, maybe I could have saved Raven all this pain. I knew seeing me would only make things worse so I turned to leave.

     Finn hadn't been my favorite person but I never wanted him to die, and watching as Raven broke down completely as I tried to hold her up in my arms was almost unbearable; the pain she was in, I couldn't begin to imagine it. That was a lie but I decided to force myself to believe otherwise.

Sam had come out of the ship, looking at Raven in my arms before she faced the Grounder's camp. As soon as Raven saw her, her anger was redirected towards her; Sam didn't seem to mind, looking at the floor for a second before moving away.

- "Sam, wait."

- "Take care of Raven" –she turned to face me- "I'm no good here now."

- "But..." –I stood up as Abby came to check on Raven.

- "I love her and she needs a friend." -I could feel the pain in her voice and it was breaking my heart- "I can't be that person for her now but I'd feel better if it were you."

- "Don't push me away, Sam."

- "I'm not. I just need you to stay with her."

- "Then where are you going?"

- "To the Grounder's camp. There's an offer I need to accept."

- "The Commander's? After what just happened?" –I protested sounding more aggressive than intended.

- "I wish we had had more time to go through this." –she sighed, looking to the side before letting out a long breath and focusing back on me- "Lexa is offering me to train with them."

- "You want to become one of them?"

I knew my tone was hurting her and I didn't mean to sound so angry but what had just happened was also taking a toll on me and Sam was getting the worse of it.

- "This is not about who I am or who I will become." –she spoke trying to remain as calm as she could- "She is offering me the power to protect the people I love; maybe, if I had had that power earlier, I could have saved Finn and Raven would be alright."

- "No one could have stopped this, Sam. Stop carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders." –I held her hand, preventing her from moving any further away from me- "We are together in this."

- "I know. That's why I wanted to talk with you before I spoke with Lexa again."

- "But you're already going to accept and we haven't talked about it."

- "I wasn't going to until I got your opinion, but seeing Raven like that..." -she glanced over my shoulder- "I hate feeling powerless and useless."

- "Why did you want my opinion then?"  –I stroke her cheek, giving her a small smile- "Knowing you I'm surprised you didn't take it as she told you."

- "Because your opinion matters to me, Bellamy." –she looked back into my eyes as if she were staring at my soul- "I know I want to be the best I can to protect all of us but if that broke what we have..."

- "I'd never stop you from doing what you want to do." –I admitted embracing her in my arms- "I'm just worried the people won't take it well if you suddenly leave with the Grounders."

- "I know."

- "When does the offer expire."

- "It doesn't, she told me to go talk with her when I'm ready."

- "You don't have to listen to me but..." –I let go of her so I could look into her eyes- "Why don't you wait a little longer? Let people begin to heal before you leave us."

- "Leave?" –she raised her eyebrows confused- "Bellamy, I'm not going anywhere."

- "Well, if you have to train with them, you have to be where they are."

- "I guess I really need to think this through, don't I?" –she shook her head, lightly rubbing her temples.

- "Yeah."

- "Thank you."

- "For?"

- "Keeping me on my toes."

- "You're welcome."

- "Go take care of Raven. I should stay away from her a little longer."

- "You know she doesn't mean it."

- "I know... But I also know I will remind her of him for some time."

- "Alright. What are you going to do?"

- "I'm still going to the Grounder's camp." –I furrowed my eyebrows- "To check on Clarke, don't worry. I still want to talk about it with you."

- "You can tell me all about it later, I'll be waiting for you."

- "Thank you." –she smiled- "Tell Abby I'm leaving, in case she wants to come, although I'm sure she will so I'll wait for her at the door."

I nodded at her, watching her move towards the door as I moved back to check on Raven and talk with Abby, letting them know Sam was going after Clarke. Abby was quick to move toward the door followed by Kane.

- "I want to go too." –Raven stood from the ground- "I want to see him." -I gave Abby a questioning look before looking back at Raven- "I'll be fine." –Raven spoke to me- "You can't stop me."

- "Alright, Raven." -Abby squeezed her arm- "We'll go together."

I let them pass as I thought about everything that had just happened. Clarke killed Finn. Sam was about to leave with the Grounders. Raven is a mess. At Least Lincoln is alright. Octavia! I walked towards the medical room to check on them and tell them what had been going on.

     Abby came with Kane and Raven to the door and the four of us walked towards the Commander's tent. I walked after them, leaving some space in between us not to make Raven more uncomfortable. The Grounders made way for us and I could tell by the way in which Kane moved closer to Abby and she pulled Raven to her, they were afraid of them. None made a move to pull me with them, not that I needed it. I wasn't afraid and I didn't feel uncomfortable around the Grounders like they were. Unwelcome? Maybe. But that was bound to happen, given the circumstances.

Once we got there, Raven immediately moved to Finn's body on the ground, sobbing again as she held his face. Abby and Kane stood there for a second, Abby clearly wanting to go after Clarke but unsure of leaving Raven there.

- "Go with Clarke. I'll take care of her."

Abby nodded at me and entered the tent without a second thought. Kane looked at me before following her. I was looking at Raven from a distance when Lexa walked past me.

- "Are you here to talk with me, Sam?"

- "It may be better if we finish this first, Heda."

- "Very well."

She nodded and entered her tent, leaving Indra outside looking at me, as if she were assessing me.

- "How you know what Heda means?"

- "I pay attention when you speak. You only refer with that term to Lexa, so I figured it must be her title in Trigedasleng."

- "Good."

Nothing about her tone could have meant that she approved, but her body language told me so, or at least I liked to think she approved. After a couple of minutes, Lexa came from inside the tent and left with Indra. Then, Clarke walked out and looked at me as if she didn't expect me to be there.

- "I'm sorry, Clarke."

- "I had to."

- "We both know that. I just wish I had done it myself to spare you from it."

- "I'll be fine."

- "I know you will," –I gave her a small smile- "but I also wish you to be fine now."

She looked behind me and saw Raven.

- "How's she?"

- "I think she'll hate us both for some time, but she's strong, she'll get through this, she just needs time to mourn. Just like you do."

- "I should..."

- "I'll be here if you need me."

- "No. Go back to camp and tell Octavia and Bellamy to get ready."

- "For what now?"

- "They are going to take Finn's body to the village, for the passing ritual. You should all come with me."

- "Alright. Can we gear up or...?"

- "Yeah, after that's done we will discuss how to get into Mount Weather."

- "Finally."

I approached Clarke and squeezed her shoulders before turning back to camp. No one came with me, which meant I was able to move much faster down Grounder lanes until our camp. As I imagined, the two siblings were in Medbay with Lincoln, which saved me time from having to look for them all over the place.

- "Get ready," –I announced entering the room- "we're leaving."

- "Good to see you too, Sam." –Octavia mocked me, standing from Lincoln's bed.

- "What now?" –Bellamy asked, confused.

- "There's a ritual for the dead." –Lincoln understood what was going on and spoke- "I assume that's what's happening next."

- "Correct." –I confirmed his words- "Clarke wants both of you to come."

- "Some of the dead were..."

- "I was counting with you, Lincoln, don't worry."

- "We'll wait for you at the entrance." –Octavia agreed, taking Lincoln with her.

- "We can gear up this time," –I smiled at Bellamy- "I'm sure you like that."

- "What are we waiting for then?"

Bellamy and I went to the armory and got a couple of weapons for us and some for Clarke and Raven. I wasn't sure what exactly would come out of all of this but I hoped I'd be able to see Monty, Jasper, and the rest soon.

- "What are we doing after the funeral?" –Bellamy suddenly broke the peaceful silence between us.

- "The truce will be official and we'll be plotting how to get our people back from Mount Weather." -he sighed heavily at my words so I turned to face him- "Why are you always so pessimistic?"

- "I'm not."

- "Then why all the sighing? I know you don't like the Grounders but not all of them are bad, just like not all of us are good."

- "I know that. I just hate all the time we've been wasting."

- "Well, we didn't exactly have many other options, did we?"

- "We could have gotten inside. All these politics bullshit is nonsense."

- "And that's why you are not the one who deals with that stuff." –I laughed.

- "You think you'd do better than me?" –he raised an eyebrow at me.

- "Oh no. You know very well I would have run straight into that hell if I had had the chance. I leave the politics to Clarke and dealing with decisions to you. I'm not a leader, remember? A leader can't act by impulse."

- "You'd be a good one."

- "Yeah, sure. No offense but a leader can't risk their life for a warrior as much as a warrior does for their leader."

- "Are you implying I'm your leader and you're my warrior?" –he smirked at me as we got out of the room.

- "Roleplay?" –I winked at him as I moved away- "Count me in, babe."

- "Pet names?" -he chuckled, catching up with me- "What's next?"

- "Who knows? We'll discover it along the way." –I smiled before furrowing my eyebrows.

- "What's wrong? Did I not keep up with the game properly?"

- "No." –I smiled- "It's just... I feel bad being all cheerful and lighthearted with you when Clarke and Raven are so heartbroken; it makes me feel like a horrible person."

- "I know how you feel." -he nodded as we got out of the ship, walking toward the front door- "I'll stop."

- "Let's just play soldiers one more time." –I sighed before seeing Octavia laughing with Lincoln and kissing him- "I mean, it's not like your sister feels as awful as we do." –I chuckled.

- "That's something I'd rather not have to witness." –Bellamy noted with half a smile on his face.

- "I think you may have to get used to it." –I poked his side playfully.

- "I thought we were playing emotionless soldiers now." –he looked at me with a smirk plastered on his face.

- "Get that smirk off of your face, to begin with, then." –I retorted smirking myself.

As we got to the happy couple, the door opened for us and we all moved to where the Grounders were getting ready to leave. Lexa and this Grounder guy called Gustus, who by now I had guessed was her bodyguard, were moving on horse while Finn's body was being transported on a carriage pulled by two horses, Raven sat on it and the rest of us walked behind.

Octavia, Lincoln, Bellamy, and I had been walking together after Abby and Kane. Clarke was walking alone in front of them, following Finn's carriage. By the time the sun was all the way up in the sky, I noticed Bellamy paying less and less attention to what we were talking about.

- "Go." –I whispered to him.

- "What?"

- "You've been staring at Clarke almost since we got out of camp and haven't been paying attention to any of us. You're worried about her, go make her company."

- "Maybe I shouldn't."

- "Where's the cocky, over-confident Bellamy I know?" –I smiled at him- "You're her co-leader and friend, just go."

- "Why don't you go?"

- "He likes you better than she likes me."

- "That's not true."

- "Ugh, come on Bellamy. Everyone likes you!" –I pushed him forward- "Go, it's not like we're moving from here anyway."

- "Fine."

Bellamy and Clarke's relationship was complicated at best but I knew they needed to know they could count on each other, which was exactly why I shoved Bellamy to walk past us and toward her. I wouldn't be of any help because I had nothing to say that would make her feel better about it; we both knew what she did was the best outcome for Finn and there was no going past that. Bellamy glanced back at me as he walked past Abby and Kane, so I simply rose my eyebrows and motioned him to keep going.

- "Aren't you afraid Clarke will steal your boyfriend, Sam?" –Octavia stood by my side, playfully eyeing me.

- "First of all, your brother and I are not a couple."

- "Yet."

- "Whatever." –I ignored her- "And second of all, if that's what they want, go for it. It's not my place to talk about it."

- "I don't know who's worse, you or my brother."

- "What are you talking about now?"

- "Really?" –she raised her eyebrow at me as I furrowed mine- "When are you both going to realize you've fallen for each other?"

I felt the heat on my face but still kept eye contact with her; I knew she knew all too well I didn't like this game.

- "I don't know what you're talking about."

- "Sam..."

- "Of course I like your brother. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

- "Oh no, I already know it." –she chuckled- "Lincoln knows too."

- "What?!"

- "Octavia sometimes talks about you two and the way you behave. If it weren't for your denials, and from what I've seen, I'd have assumed you're together."

- "Bellamy doesn't like me that way."

- "Sam..."

- "Wait, no." –I stopped her, raising my hand in front of her- "And even if he did, do you think this is the right time for us to get together?"

- "What do you mean?"

- "With everything that's been going on, I feel awful when I'm all happy with Bellamy. Even more now after Finn." –I sighed, my eyes landing on Raven- "I don't want to walk around shoving my happiness on everyone else's faces. It's not fair."

- "I know you're not going to change your mind with what I'm going to say but do you think it's fair for both of you to sabotage your own happiness just because some else isn't as happy as you?" –Octavia solemnly stated looking at me before glancing at her brother's retreating figure- "Will you risk getting yourself killed without telling him how you really feel?"

- "O..."

- "No, don't speak. Just think about it."