Chapter 77

2 weeks later, August

I moved my finger and pressed the doorbell. I stepped back and waited. I was messin' wit my shades and looked up when the door opened.

"Hey," Chantelle gave me a wide grin.

"Wassup?" I said.

"Nothing. Come in," she let me by and I walked in.

I followed behind her and we sat down on the couch.

"I haven't got to tell you, but I'm sorry about what happened. I don't know what happened, but I know you were in the hospital,"

"Yeah. Thanks," I said.

"You okay today?" Chantelle tilted her head a little.

"I'm good,"

Truthfully, I took my Risperdal and I felt slower than eva. I felt fine on my way ova hea, but now I felt tired and weak. I could still function though, so I ignored it.

I adjusted the shades on my face and she cleared her throat.

"Do you want some water or something?"

"Yeah. Thank you,"

Chantelle went ta get me a bottle of water befo' comin' back.

I took the cap off and sipped it. "Thank you," I said again before drinking more. "Where did we leave off last?"

"I don't remember..." she watched me intently.

"We can pick a place and start then, I guess. I rememba us talkin' about da whole money situation,"

Chantelle and I were talkin', and it was goin' okay, but I was gettin' dizzy and I felt like I could barely keep my eyes open.

"Are you sure that you're okay?" she asked.

"Yeah. Um- I'm not feelin' dis today. Maybe anotha time. I gotta get home," I stood and it felt like the room was spinnin'.

"August-"

"I'm good," it felt like someone had knocked me off my feet.

I collapsed ta the floor and Chantelle helped me back onto her couch.

"August, you are not okay,"

"It's... Just my meds," I yawned. "They make me sleepy... Sometimes,"

"Well, just relax," she mumbled, her hand holdin' mine.

I tried ta move my hand, but she held on tighta.

"How many pills you take?"

I weakly put up two fingers.

The side effects of my pills had hit me befo', but neva this hard or soon.

"I-I gotta go," I tried ta sit up, but she kept me down.

"You're really out of it, huh?" she had this look on her face dat I couldn't make out. She seemed like she was up ta somethin'.

I reached for my phone and she took it from me.

"You won't need this," she smiled.

"I gotta call my girl," I felt so slow. My reactions were delayed. I tried ta reach fa my phone and she pushed me back. "Stop,"

She climbed onto my lap. "You know, I really miss you,"

"Get off," I said. "Of me,"

"Don't deny that you miss me too. I know you can't stand being with her. She can't give you what I can. I know you miss me,"

I shook my head. "I don't,"

"See, I knew you didn't like being with her," she laughed.

"No," I cleared my throat. "I don't... Miss you,"

Chantelle frowned. "Anyway, babe, I was thinking," she laughed a little. "Why don't you break up with Esined and it be us again? Like the good ole days?"

"Those weren't good days,"

"Shhh," she placed her finger on my lips.

"Stop," I couldn't move and all I could do was stare at her as she took advantage of me.

My words were slurred and I couldn't get her off of me.

"Chan-"

Chantelle kissed me and I tried ta turn my head, but she forced herself onto me.

My face scrunched up as she kissed all over my face.

Flashbacks of my babysitter molesting me had played in my head as Chantelle unbuckled my belt.

I tried ta turn so she would fall off of me, but it didn't work. It felt like no matter how hard I tried ta move, I wasn't movin'.

"I-I don't want this," I managed ta say.

Chantelle ignored me and continued ta pull at my jeans. She rubbed ova my bulge and scrolled on my phone. "Smile, okay? I wanna send this to Esined,"

Chantelle forced another kiss on me and snapped pictures.

I reached my hand up and grabbed her by her throat.

She gasped when she felt my tight grip. "August," she hit my chest and slapped my arms.

I pressed my thumb on the center of her throat, makin' her choke. "Get off,"

She slowly got off of me wit tears fallin' from her eyes.

I refused ta have a repeat of my childhood. It dat meant knockin' her out, then I'd do it.

I put my hand out fa my phone and she gave it ta me.

I started callin' the cops and she stood of ta the side.

I didn't even know how I was gonna talk ta them, but I'd figure it out.

"Nine-One-One, what's your emergency?"

"My... Ex drugged... Me," I spoke slowly.

"Do you know where you are?"

"Yes. She tried ta... Rape me,"

"Can you give me your location?"

It took a minute, but I told them where I was.

I stayed on the phone wit the lady and I looked up.

Chantelle was hittin' herself.

"Stop," I said.

"August, stop hitting me!" she cried.

"I'm not,"

She started throwin' stuff around the livin' room. She broke a vase and flipped ova the table. She started screamin' and pullin' her hair.

"Stop dat," I said.

"What is going on? Can you hear me?"

"She hittin' herself. Should I... Restrain her?"

"No. If you can, stand away from her. Go outside,"

I used the couch fa support and stood up slowly. I stumbled ova ta the door and opened it.

Just as I opened it, the police had arrived and they came ova ta me.

"Did you call about an ex drugging you?"

I looked up at him slowly and nodded.

"Is she here?"

I pointed inside the house. "She's... losin' it,"

I couldn't take myself ta the hospital, so they called fa backup.

By this point, neighbors were outside. They were watchin' Chantelle fight the officers. They took her ta the ground and handcuffed her.

"He raped me!" she yelled and kicked her feet. "He choked me and dragged me on the floor!"

Chantelle yelled out a bunch of false claims. They put her in the back of the police car and she started hittin' her head on the window.

I was finally taken ta the hospital and treated. I called Mel instead of my mama.

Chantelle spiked my water and put GHB in it.

"GHB is a date rape drug that comes in different forms. It can be a liquid with no odor or color. It can be a white powder or a dissolving pill," my nurse said as she handed Mel and I pamphlets dat could educate us on date rape drugs.

Mel listened ta her and meanwhile I was drownin' in my own thoughts.

"Did your water taste a bit salty?"

"I don't rememba," I mumbled.

"Okay. Would you like to be in private with your brother?"

I nodded.

She left quietly and closed the door behind you.

Mel looked down at his hands.

"How could I have been so stupid and blind?" I asked quietly.

"You didn't know what she was doin',"

"I should have known. I knew she didn't change, but I gave her the benefit of da doubt. I wanted ta believe dat she changed fa the betta. I thought dat gettin' closure would be a good thing, but I let her in just ta fuck me ova even mo'. It's my fault,"

"No it's not and don't you ever say dat shit again!" he snapped. "It's not yo fault! It's not yo fault dat she's crazy. You are the victim and you don't need ta blame her wrong doings on yourself. It's her who's fucked up in the head! Not you,"

"But-"

"Ain't no buts! Did you know she was gonna drug you?"

"No," I mumbled.

"Did you know she planned ta ruin yo relationship?"

"No,"

"Did you know dat she planned on rapin' you?"

"No,"

"Did you give her consent?"

"No, Mel. I said stop and I told her no. I told her I didn't want her,"

"Then it's not your fault!"

I stayed quiet.

"You know this! You're self blamin'. Most victims do dat. It's never y'all fault. Y'all didn't do anything. Your clothes, your body, and your actions do not mean consent,"

I listened ta him and wiped tears from my face.

"It was not consent from the beginnin' because she drugged you. Even if she didn't drug you and you gave her consent, you could have said no durin', and it still would be rape. At the end of the day, no means no, no matter the case. And she knows dat. Rape can happen ta anyone. Men or women, and little kids too,"

I sniffed. "Wouldn't nobody believe a man who say he got raped, Mel. They tell us that we should be happy that a woman wants ta take advantage of us,"

"I know, Aug. You think they don't say dat bullshit ta women too?"

"I know they say it ta women, but it feels different when they say it ta men. You know masculinity is fragile and we're supposed ta be seen as the over sexual and aggressive beasts, who don't have emotions," I sniffed again, wipin' my tears.

Mel listened ta me as I spoke and he even teared up.

"We're supposed ta be seen as if we need ta take and accept any and every girl dat is thrown at us. Why can't men and boys stick together like women and young girls do? Why can't we support each otha when we go through stuff like rape and molestation. Instead we listen ta our homies tell us about how a girl was aggressive wit him and we laugh. We laugh at each othas pain instead of showin' dat we care. We are fuckin' robots and we are meant ta be so desensitized. We have ta do betta,"

Mel cleared his throat. "You can set an example fa men. You can be the voice fa men and women who are ignored and denied of rape and molestation,"

"Dats my goals. I'm tired of it,"

"And you gon' be dat voice. Make dat change man. Make a movement,"

"I will,"

"And I'ma be right by yo side through it all,"

I broke down into tears and Mel hugged me. I cried onto his chest and he rubbed my back.

"Do me a favor," I said.

"What?"

"Don't tell Mama dat dos happened, aiight?"

"I ain't plan on it," he said.

I'd rather tell her on my own.

It was quiet fa a moment.

"Aye lil bro, I luh you man,"

"I luh you too," I mumbled.

"And I think you should press charges,"

I looked up at him.

"Befo' you try ta say no, just think about it. I know you don't wanna go through this again, but just think about it. You can stop her from doin' dat ta somebody else. You can put an end ta it, or you can let her be free. You wanna be a voice, right?"

I nodded.

"Press charges and make this case be heard. Don't let this go silent and be swept unda a rug. Your voice deserves ta be heard. Do this fa the voice dat are too scared ta speak or feel too weak ta speak up. This is your chance and this is your start. Be heard, you hea' me?"

I nodded again and he hugged me. I patted his back and he sat down.

I waited ta be discharged, whenever dat would be.

Dis shit was crazy. My hospital bills were stacked and I hadn't been makin' many drops.

"Mel, I gotta get back in the streets,"

"You can't,"

"Why not?"

"It's too soon,"

"I gotta pay off my hospital bills. My insurance don't cova it all,"

"Don't worry about those,"

"Whatchu mean?"

"I got it,"

"You got a baby on da way,"

"I got this and it's not up fa discussion,"

"Okay," I sighed and reached ova ta my phone. I went ta my messages and saw dat Chantelle sent the pictures ta Esined.

Esined saw them and didn't reply.

I dialed her number and it rung a few times befo' goin' ta voicemail. I kept callin' and she kept sendin' me ta voicemail.

I sent her a text.

Baby please pick up. It's not what u think at all. Let me explain 3:15 pm

PoohBear: Don't ever talk to me again. 3:16 pm

I rubbed my face down and I felt my anger startin' ta rise.

This is a serious moment where I need u to listen to me. 3:18 pm

PoohBear: What excuse can you give? I should have known something was going on. I don't why I believed you or that sneaky bitch. You're not over her and that's obvious. I'm done trying with you. You love to stay around things and people that hurt you, but you push away those who love you. I'm over it. 3:19 pm

Maybe u should fuckin listen instead of assumin 3:21 pm

PoohBear: Maybe you should fucking say something instead of telling me to listen. I can't listen when you're not talking 3:23 pm

U ain't answerin or givin me the opportunity to speak. Tf am I supposed to do. How tf can I speak to u when u not listenin? 3:24 pm

PoohBear: Go ahead... 3:25 pm

Can u meet me somewhere? 3:25 pm

PoohBear: Where? 3:26 pm

Idk what time I'm allowed to leave, so just meet me at the hospital 3:27 pm

PoohBear: Why are you at the hospital? 3:28 pm

U would know if u weren't jumpin to conclusions 3:29 pm

She read my message, but she didn't text back.

I sat my phone down and Mel looked at me.

"You good?"

I sighed and nodded.

I was heated. Out of all the times when Esined could have and should have snapped on me, she went off this time. I had ta remind myself dat she ain't know about what Chantelle did. I couldn't just be mad and snap at her as soon as she got hea. I had ta be reasonable and understand her one side of the story befo' I explained things.

I just hoped dat she'd understand and dis wouldn't be the end of us.

-hi boos.

how are y'all?

I'm hype af bc my hotel room is lit af.

y'all, I went to the lobby and it was like a fine ass boys meet up 💀

anyway, y'all actin' like y'all don't know where I stay.

talkin' that yap in the comments, but when I come around, y'all never wanna post up.

lmfaoo I'm really not shit, but oh well.

Olive y'all.

Until next time.

Excuse typos please.

Comments & votes are appreciated.

Much love, Shia. Xoxo