Chapter 27

A/N: I completely forgot that I had to add that part with Chantelle here.

Esined

"May I help you?" I asked Chantelle as she stood over me with her arms folded.

"Yeah. Why were you with August?"

"He was walking me to class,"

Chantelle was that person who'd push me to the edge one day, I could feel it. As much as I tried to control my temper and continue to be the nice one through it all, I knew she'd be the first person I ever let get to me. Knowing this, I still continued my attempts to ignore her ignorance.

"You can't walk with him,"

"Says who?"

"Me,"

"Technically, he was walking with me,"

"Technically my ass. Stay away from him or else,"

"Tell him to stay away from me. I can't control what he's attracted to,"

She stared at me. "Attracted to? Don't get your feelings hurt, little girl. You think you're so cute with your light skin and long hair. You think you all that, but August don't care about you and he never will. You think he like you? Girl, please," she laughed. "You ain't even competition. August will always come back to me. I've got something you don't,"

I messed with my fingers. I tried not to let her bother me, trying to ignore the possibilities that she could be right. I had no knowledge of their relationship and why they broke up, so I was left clueless.

"What? You're gonna cry now?" she smiled.

"Can you leave me alone, please?"

"Awe. I got to you? Pressed too many buttons?"

I sighed, irritated. My leg was shaking.

I wasn't even going to lie. When she started talking about my appearance, it hurt my feelings a little. I can't help that I'm insecure. The only thing I can do is try to accept my flaws and love myself, but people like her make it hard.

"I'm just saying girl, if you feeling froggy then jump. You ain't hype 'cause Viola ain't here, huh?"

"You're only approaching me because Viola isn't here,"

Chantelle is scared of her and I can see it.

"I'd say all of this shit if she was here. Ain't nobody scared of that girl," she laughed, looking me up and down before laughing again. "So what makes you think you're better than everyone else? Your light skin?"

"I never said or thought I was better than anyone,"

"But you do. You think you're fooling someone, pretending to be insecure. You knew all the dudes would like you because of your light skin and long hair. You ain't fooling me,"

"Why are you so rude?" A girl who sat behind me asked Chantelle. She was quiet and I hadn't heard her speak until now.

"Mind your business,"

"It becomes my business when you're bullying someone,"

Chantelle rolled her eyes. "Who are you again? No one knows,"

"My name is PJ," the girl smiled, extending her hand for a handshake. "I guess my kindness is making you feel uncomfortable, huh?"

"You're such a weirdo," Chantelle walked off, irritated.

"Thanks for defending me," I said.

"No problem. Sometimes you just gotta hurt people with kindness or make it extremely awkward for them. They'll go away eventually," she said.

"Is your real name PJ?"

"Is your real name Esined?"

We both began to laugh.

"Yes," I said.

"No, my real name is Princess and my middle name is James, but I tell everyone it's Jamie,"

"Princess Jamie... That's cute,"

"Thank you,"

"So are you not named after one of your parents?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Both actually. My moms' real name is Princess and my dads' name is James," she laughed a little. "Is your name just Denise backwards or are you named after someone named Esined?"

"I don't know. I know my grandma and my mama have a weird thing with reversing names,"

"What's your moms' name? Marie backwards?" she joked.

I looked at her before laughing. "It actually is,"

She looked down, laughing to herself. "Wow," she began to tap her pencil on the desk in a rhythm. "Awkward,"

"What grade are you in?"

"I'm a freshman,"

"Really? You're really mature. You look older too,"

"Thank you,"

"So do you have all junior and senior classes, or is this your only one?"

"I have all AP and honors,"

I smiled, admiring how adorable she was. It was nice to see such a young and successful girl of color.

"Okay," Ms. Trump said, gathering attention from the class.

The whole class period we only took notes. When the bell rang, I turned back to speak to PJ.

"Do you have A lunch?" I asked her.

"Yes," she said.

"Where do you sit?"

"By myself. No one likes to sit with me," she said.

"Awe," I frowned. "Why not?"

"They don't like me," she shrugged. "I don't care though. They'll regret it when I become president one day," she smiled. "Besides. I eat in the band room with my violin,"

I loved how carefree she was, something I wish I could be. I wish I could ignore how I felt when people talked bad about me.

"I'd vote for you," I said. "Princess Jamie for President,"

"Thank you," she laughed and so did I. She then stared off into the distance. "There he is. My future man," she said. "I heard he's down with the swirl and so am I,"

"Who?"

"He looks like he's walking up to me. How do I look?"

"I think he's just walking by," I laughed a little.

A tall white boy walked by us and PJ stuttered out an hello to him.

"H-Hi Blake,"

"Hey PJ," he smiled down at her and continued walking.

She frowned. "Darn. Just when I thought I was moving up in the world,"

"Oh, stop it. He still said hi,"

She was beyond adorable.

"It's not that. It's just that I thought I could say it without stuttering this time,"

I laughed. "You're so adorable,"

I saw August walking up to us. Then I saw that amazing smile appear on his face as he walked up to us.

"August," PJ said.

He messed with her glasses. "My nerdy lil cousin," he chuckled, giving them back to her.

We all began to walk down the hall together.

"Little cousin?" I asked. I looked at her again.

I hadn't noticed that she resembled August a little.

"Yup," they said at the same time.

"Are you coming to your tutoring lessons today?" she asked him.

I looked at him and he gave her this look, like she should have kept her mouth closed.

"I-I mean because I'll be there. I'll be after to take a test and I'll need a ride home," she tried to cover for him.

"Yeah, I'll give you a ride home. Don't you got a violin ta go practice on?"

"I actually do. Thanks for the reminder,"

"Uh-huh," he said.

"Spot a broke sister. I left my wallet at home," she said, putting her hand out.

He dug into his pocket, pulling out his wallet. He gave her a twenty.

"Thanks, Aug. I'll pay you back,"

"Don't even sweat it," he chuckled. "Just go work dat magic on dat violin of yours and make me proud,"

"Are you coming to my concert?"

"When is it again?"

"Saturday. You told me that you'd mark your calendar,"

"Damn," he sighed. "I marked my calendar, but I thought it was next Saturday,"

"This Saturday,"

"What time?"

"Four. And I have a solo. You don't have to come if you can't make it,"

He looked at me.

"It's okay. We can go another time," I assured him.

"Oh. You're this date my big cousin has been talking about?" PJ smiled.

"See, PJ. Dats what I meant when I said you talk too much," August said.

"Go on the date,"

"You sure?"

"Yes,"

"You positive?"

"August," she glared.

"Okay, okay. Thank you. I promise I'a make it ta all da rest of 'em,"

"You better,"

"I will,"

"I have to practice now. I'll see y'all later," she smiled and waved.

We waved back and she walked off. We then began our journey to the cafeteria.

"So," I started. "You were talking about me?

"I may have brought you up ta her,"

"Why?"

"Fa ideas. I ain't know whea ta take you,"

"Oh. Okay,"

I began to think about what Chantelle said to me and grew uncomfortable. I tried to push away the thoughts, but I had to get assurance so I could drop the thoughts.

I sighed. "Are you interested in anyone else besides me?" I looked up at him.

"No," he said, looking directly into my eyes. "Are you interested in somebody else besides me?" he asked back.

"No,"

"Why you ask me dat?"

"I was just curious," I shrugged a little.

"I'm glad you asked instead of assumin',"

We were silent for a moment as we got into the line for Subway.

"Ladies orda first," he stood beside me.

"Thank you," I told him. I got the sub that I wanted and he got his.

I took out money to pay for my sub.

"Put it togetha please," August told the lady on the register. He moved me back and stood in front of me.

She did as he said and he gave her a crisp twenty dollar bill.

He paid for our food and I thanked him once again.

"No problem," he received his change and we went to sit down.

"Well excuse me," I said as we walked over to a table.

"What?"

"I was gonna pay for it myself,"

I didn't mind August paying for my food sometimes, but I didn't want him to think I was getting use to it. I didn't want it to seem like I was using him either.

"You don't have ta pay fa anything when you wit me. I thought you knew dat,"

"I didn't, but thank you,"

We went to sit down and eat. We ate and spoke, then Viola came over.

"Hey," she smiled and Ricarrdo joined us.

"Hey," he waved.

We said hello back to them.

"Y'all are so cute," Ricarrdo said.

Both, August and I pretended that he wasn't talking to us.

"And rude,"

We all began to laugh.

"Thanks, man, but we aren't... Ya know?" August chuckled.

"Oh! Y'all ain't together yet?"

"No," we said.

"Still cute," he shrugged and smiled.

"Thank you," I said.

"No problem,"

I looked at August and he seemed as if he was upset. His eyes were closed and his head was down.

"You okay?" I touched his hand and he held my hand.

He said words quietly to himself before saying amen. He looked up at me. "I was prayin',"

Viola started laughing and so did Ricardo.

"Oh. I'm sorry for interrupting your prayers," I said.

He believes in God? I believe he just made me like him even more.

"It's alright," he said. "Do you pray?"

"Yes,"

"You go ta church?"

"Not as much as I'd like to, but I do. Do you?"

I went whenever my dad allowed my mama and I to. Since mama left, I haven't been. My dad isn't as spiritual as my mama, but she would convince him to come with us and hear the lords word sometimes. On days when he went to church with us, he wouldn't hit us. Dad would claim that he didn't enjoy the bible scriptures or what was said in church, especially if it applied to his life. People hate to hear the truth about themselves.

August smiled and it caught my attention. "Every Sunday,"

"That's good," I smiled back.

"When there's a gay male and a lesbian at the table and their friends start talking about church," Ricardo mumbled, causing us all to laugh. "Well, one of us is actually gay," he sipped his drink and rolled his eyes.

"Wow. The shade," Viola said.

August looked at Viola and began to laugh harder.

I felt like I had missed the real joke. I felt left out so I ate my food as they laughed and talked.

Their laughter came to a stop when Porscha came over to sit down. August looked at her before taking a sip of his water.

"Hey baby," she said to Viola.

August cleared his throat and coughed.

"Can I talk to you in private?" Viola stood up.

"Um, sure," Porscha followed behind her.

Him and Ricardo started laughing as soon as Viola and Porscha left. I remained confused.

I stood up and went to throw away the trash from my tray. I came back to the table and grabbed my bag.

"You leavin'?" August asked.

"Yeah,"

"You good?"

"I'm fine," I said.

"You sure?"

"Yes," I laughed a little. "I'll see you in class,"

"Alright," he mumbled.

I was going to talk to Mr. Togel before lunch was over and class started.

I went to Mr. Togels classroom and knocked on the door.

"Come in," he said.

I walked in and he looked up.

"Hello, Esined," he smiled.

"Hi, Mr. Togel. How are you?"

"I'm great. How are you,"

"I'm doing good,"

"Coming to class early or did you want to talk?"

"Both," I said honestly.

"Go ahead and share,"

"Well, remember those letters?"

He nodded.

"My dad gave them to me. I mean, I had already read them, but it felt better to not have to sneak around with them,"

"What'd he say when he gave them to you?"

"He told me that everything she wrote was the truth," I messed with my fingers. "My mama is having a baby,"

He looked at me. "Are you happy about that?"

"I don't know how to feel about it. I know I'm happy that I'll have another younger sibling, just not happy about how my sibling has to grow up. I wish I could change that and help mama raise him or her. I don't want my sibling to grow up how I did," I explained and I could feel myself about to cry.

Mr. Togel handed me some tissue from his tissue box when he saw tears begin to fall.

"I don't want him or her to struggle and not know where their next meal is coming from," I sniffed. "I want them to have everything they want. I don't want them to have to hear that we can't afford what they want for Christmas. I don't want them to be hurt and abused. I want them to be happy," I wiped my tears and sniffed again.

Mr. Togel cleared his throat and avoided looking at me. "Don't cry. Don't cry," he said to himself and stood up straight.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled. "I didn't mean to make you sad or anything,"

"You didn't it's just very touching," he said.

"Thank you for listening. I'm gonna go to the bathroom and get myself together," I sighed, tossing my tissue into the trash can.

"You know I'm always here," he said. "No problem,"

I gave him a faint smile before leaving his classroom.

I found my moments with Mr. Togel to be a release of built up hurt. Although I could never release all of my hurt, it felt nice to let some of it out and have someone who cared to listen. I knew I had people I could go to, but I decided that Mr. Togel was the one I would go to after what he told me about his friend Olivia.

I was glad to have someone like Mr. Togel in my life.

-Hallo. Wie gehts? (Hello. How are you?)

Ich bin gut. (I am good)

Ehh. I just been feeling like speaking in German lately. Having withdrawals from my German class lol.

I had to make this chapter a filler bc like I forgot about Chantelle. I feel like this chapter was rushed lol. And all over the place.

The next chapter is definitely having the date in it. I'm not sure when the next update will be. Hopefully sometime this week.

If you have any questions, doesn't matter if it relates to the story or not, just ask me. I feel like answering questions :]

Idk what to say lol... I usually say weird things, but I've got nothing to say today.

So, um yeah.

Exuded typos please.

Comments & votes are appreciated.

Much love, Shia. Xoxo.