Chapter 25

Esined

When Uncle Don and I got home, he put the letters back where he got them from.

"Did you want to write her back?" he asked.

"Yes,"

"Alright. Write it and I'll mail it whenever you want me to,"

"U-Uncle Don,"

"Yes?" he looked up.

"Can I use the phone?"

"Sure. What are you using it for?"

"I have to, um, tutor a classmate,"

"Go ahead," he said, circling jobs that he could apply to in a newspaper.

I walked over to the phone in the kitchen. I took August's number out of my pocket and stared at it before dialing it. When it began to ring I could feel my heart starting to race. I bit on my lip as I waited for him to answer. I went to the bathroom and sat in the tub. I often did this for some reason.

"Helluh?" I heard his voice and I choked up, afraid to speak. "Helluh?" he repeated.

"I-" I cleared my throat. "Hi," I sighed.

"Esined?"

"It's me,"

"Hey,"

"Was this a bad time to call?"

"No no. Perfect timin' actually,"

"That's good," I messed with the rim of my shirt.

"You alright?"

"I'm okay. How are you?"

"I'm great. What's yo favorite color?"

"Burgundy," I laughed at his random question.

"Why you laughin'?" he chuckled.

"Because that was really random,"

"I know. Can I ask you somethin'?"

"Go ahead,"

"Who was dat man witchu earlier?"

"My uncle, why?"

"I was just curious," he sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothin', love. I'm okay,"

I frowned and there was a hard knock on the door. "Don't call me back. I'll call you back," I whispered.

"Okay?"

"Esined Evans!" my dad yelled.

I hung up and quickly stood in front of the sink. "I'm using the bathroom!" I lied.

"Hurry up!"

I fake flushed the toilet then I washed my hands. I tucked the phone into my shirt and came out.

He stared down at me. "We need to talk,"

I followed him to the living room, slickly putting the phone back on the hook.

Uncle Don must have left.

He patted the couch and I sat down next to him. He sighed, rubbing his face down. He took a picture from his wallet, the same one I saw with that mystery woman. "Since you're sixteen and you're becoming more understanding of the world... I've decided to tell you what's going on before it happens,"

"Okay," I sat next to him.

"Do you remember her?" he asked me, pointing to the girl who was next to my mama.

"No,"

"You don't?"

"No, sir,"

"She adored you," he mumbled. "She loved you so much,"

"What happened to her?"

"I pushed her away,"

Just like you pushed my mama away.

"Why?"

"She came back though. And because she disobeyed me,"

I looked up at him. "How did she disobey you?"

"She's the reason why I'm so strict with you about boys,"

"Dad," I frowned.

I don't like when he talks like this. He speaks with a mysterious tone that makes the obvious things he says seem so hidden.

"She was only fifteen and pregnant," he shook his head. "When I took her in, I told her that she won't be being fast like she was before," he stared at the wall as he spoke. "I told her that if I took her in, fed, her and gave her clothes, she'd follow my rules. Once she broke my rules, she was out and I felt horrible, but my pride wouldn't go find her. The day I pushed my pride to the side, she came back. Told me things weren't so nice where she was. I let her come back with open arms,"

I looked at his hands, watching them as he twisted something shiny and silver in his fingertips.

"I became so attached to her that I lacked in showing affection to you. I constantly worried about her to the point where I acted like you didn't exist. You were just a baby and you didn't deserve that. You still don't deserve the shit I do to you..." he coughed for a second then began to speak again.

"I have to learn that you didn't and don't know any better and that hitting you won't make you learn. I hadn't explain things to you like I should have. All I knew was grabbing a belt or slapping you upside your head. My mama was just like yours..." he cleared his throat. "And I'm just like my dad... Something I never wanted to be,"

"If you didn't want to be like him, why'd you still be mean to us?"

"I didn't know how to love a strong woman. I didn't know how to appreciate a woman who just wanted the best for me. I didn't have examples of how to treat a woman,"

"You could have set an example. I don't want you to think I'm talking back, but you could have. If you noticed that some things that you did made her cry, you could have took it upon yourself not to do it again. If you love someone, you only want to make them happy and smile. You don't hurt someone you love,"

He sniffed. "You're absolutely right,"

I never thought I'd hear him tell me that ever.

"And it's a damn shame that as a grown man, I have to learn about love and what it is from my sixteen year old daughter who has yet to experience it,"

I looked at my hands, they were becoming moist because I was nervous.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Why are you telling me all of this? What's going on?"

"A lot will change now..."

"Is it because of the lady that you were with this morning?" I asked, not even realizing what just came out of my mouth.

"Yes,"

"Why are you pushing us away for her? What we do to deserve this?"

"Nothing at all,"

"Who is she?"

"My fiancé," he sighed. "Clara,"

He didn't seem so happy to be getting married to this mystery woman.

"Fiancé? What about mama?"

"Your mama and I have been done for months,"

I stared at the side of his face. "When do I have to leave?"

"What do you mean?"

"When are you sending me away?"

"I'm guessing you heard everything,"

"Yes,"

He frowned. "Soon,"

"Why are you sad?"

You don't love me anyway. You don't want me here and I don't want to be here.

"It's deeper than what you heard, just know that," he then paused to think. "Wait... How do you know about her and why were you at that restaurant?"

"I was getting breakfast with a friend," I admitted, not afraid of his anger to come.

"What friend?" shockingly, he was calm.

"Her name is Viola," I said.

"I didn't see you there,"

"I was in a booth,"

He nodded, understanding.

This was the most awkward conversation I ever had in my life.

He stared at the picture of the girl and twisted the silver object in his hand.

"You miss her?"

He nodded as a tear slipped out of his eye. "I wish I was in that passenger seat instead,"

"Huh?" I looked at him.

"I was driving us to this Baseball game that she was begging me to go to for a month. I had our tickets ever since she asked me, but I decided to surprise her... We were singing our favorite song, Slow Ride by Foghat... Next thing you know, a huge truck just comes speeding onto the passenger side... She cried for me before she died from impact," he shook his head as more tears fell from his eyes. "I didn't want to love anymore when she passed. Everything I love leaves me,"

"I'll never forgive myself. I should have seen that truck coming. If I did, Lauren would probably still be here,"

"Lauren," I repeated to myself. "You named your truck after her?"

He nodded. "That's all I have left of her. And this," he finally let me see what was in his hand.

"What's that?"

"A charm from a bracelet that I bought her for Christmas one year,"

"Does that lady have something to do with Lauren?"

He nodded, dropping his head before breaking down into tears.

I wanted to question him so much more, but I felt as if he had said enough and I was just lost. I needed to put the pieces together on my own to solve the rest of questions that I had.

I felt like everything would make sense soon.

As bad as I wanted to feel for my dad, the words he spoke to me won't never make up for the type of father he is to me. He doesn't love me like he should or how I want him to. Like I said, he could have broke the patterns that he saw in his own father and loved my mama and I like a real man would have.

I knew that it would take me a while for me to forgive him and I didn't plan on forgiving him anytime soon.

-hi.

how are y'all?

I'm bored.

Y'all know who the lady in the picture is now and why his truck is name Lauren.

Summary: He took in a homeless teenaged girl named Lauren. She got pregnant and he was upset, but got over it. He loved Lauren more than Esined. Lauren died from impact by a truck that hit on her side while he was driving. He misses her and her death added to the downfall of his life. He started beating Eiram and Esined more because they are vulnerable and weak, he knew they wouldn't leave him. He was also abused by his father and his mother was also. He didn't want to love anymore when Lauren died./

btw, I was not high when I asked that pickle cactus question in my last chapter lmao.

and it's actually a Mexican food, google it. Pickle cacti.

I've been listening to Adele, August, Tyler The Creator, Kendrick, and Jon B all day. Who have y'all been listening to today?

Did this chapter clear up some things for y'all?

Dropped hella clues btw.

Does anyone speak different languages? If so, what languages?

I speak some German and I'm learning Chinese now.

Do y'all know what I look like? Lmfao. That's me in my avi.

I'm so out of order with these questions today. Oh well.

Das ist alles. (That is all)

Excuse typos please.

Comments and votes are appreciated.

Much love, Shia. Xoxo.