⭑ 5:

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A loud scream came out of my mouth as I suddenly fell down with Jongho slightly on top. We were back at pratice and I was doing really great but once again just like yesterday, I had let myself get excited about it and lost my balance. Unfortunately my reflexes took advantage of Jongho who was beside and I quickly put a tight grip on to him inorder to save myself from falling but it didn't really work out as he was dragges to the floor by me.

"Hyung are y-you okay!?" Jongho asked, his loud voice showing the amount of worry he is in. I take in a deep breath slowly getting up my hand in Jongho's as he used force pulling me to sit up.

My hands quickly take my hurting ankle in a tight grasp. Not wasting much time, my eyes too travel upto the member's gazes some surprised, some still exhausted and some- well Seonghwa's powerful. Though of the emotion were mixed with worry at the same time.

"Hongjoong-ah. The fall wasn't that but you seem to have twisted your ankle. Though I don't think that's it because the scream felt extremely painful hmm?"

Tears fill up my eyes as I hear Yunho's voice full of concern as he asked me that. He slowly moves towards me and signals Jongho to move so he does. The rest still stay frozen at their position seemingly not knowing what to do.

"Joongie, seriously what happened? I promise none of us will say anything to you okay? We're here for you. Please say the truth." he passes off a soft smile to me but his eyes tell that he's really anxious about me.

"I- uhm I ju-just" Yunho nods slowly caressing my hand and then tells me to take my time. I know he's trying to make me feel relaxed but it's honestly making me even more worried. What will they say if I tell them about my state? It hurts so much. The pain feels like someone just stabbed me.

"P-please don't be mad" My voice cracks up as I start speaking once again."We won't be mad don't worry! Right guys?"I hear the members say out "yes" and "yeahs". Seonghwa hyung doesn't let out a word though.

"Y-yesterday I w-was practising up l-late. I got better b-but uhm my- I lost my balance a-and fell down. M-my ankle and wrists hurt r- arhm- really bad."

I whisper out the last part looking down at my lap as I fidgeted with my fingers. The room has gone completely silent now. I can feel my anxiety rising.

"Hyung-" "I- I'm okay though! It- it's fine. It will get better soon! L-let's just finish p-" "No hyung. Look at your state. You literally have a waterfall of tears falling down. It must be paining you a lot. You can't continue, how about we see a doctor first?"

Before I can reply to San my eyes widen at the second voice coming from beside him. It's Mingi.

"Wait so we might have to- uhm postpond our debut?" No no no! This can't be happening! Not now. I had finally  got better at those steps. They can't just pause their debut because of me. We've come so far. They've been waiting for the debut for so damn long.

My thoughts are quickly shooed away when I hear Seonghwa's shout."WHAT!?"

My eyes find Yunho's quickly and thankfully the confusion on my face gives it away. "Noona said yes. We'll have to postpond." he replies with a small sad smile.

I look back at Seonghwa who's pinching his temples. Yeosang who's on the phone now mumbles out a few yes- es and a goodbye.

"It's okay guys. Hyung I didn't say anything about you. I just gave them a hypothetical question to which their reply was a yes. It's all good. We'll tell them la-"

"NO!" We all flinch at Seonghwa's loud voice. He comes a bit closer to me and scoffs.

"You! It's ALL your fault. Those steps were so simple. Mingi had a little trouble too but he focused amd corrected them. Why couldn't you!? You're always in that fucking studio of yours hmm. What are you even doing in there!? I bet it's hardly any work especially because we're already done with the production and recording of each song."

My breath hitches as I hear him say each word. Please don't think this. I tried I swear. My thoughts aren't loud enought. He continues.

"We've been in training for a few years now! It's time for us to debut and make ourselves and our family proud but you! It's ALL your fault Hongjoong. Now we have to wait just because of YOU! It's always YOU! YOU ARE AT FAULT. YOU are absolutely useless. You- your family! They must think the same-"

"STOP!" I yell out back at him. "No! That's enought Seonghwa! Every single day. I- every day it's y-you! Years and each day you've shown nothing but hatred towards me and just me! What did I even do!?"

My voice sounds even more painful as I yell out the last sentence and my hands tremble as if it's the worst of winter going on.

"I- I tried. I swear i did! I didn't want you all to be waiting because of me! And don't you dare call me useless. I know it. Tha- it's all they ever said but NOT MY FAMILY. My parents never did. I k-know they didn't.I'm tired of you always fighting with me! I told you that I'm not doing this on purpose."

"Sure you aren't."

And that's when I started crying, rushing out of the door with sadness amd anger taking over me.

"Go fucking apologize to him Park Seonghwa."

"Hyung!" San shouts from behind as I open the door and try to get out with the growing pain in my ankle.

"PLEASE! Pl- please don'f follow me. I need some space-" I yell back.

"OH OFCOURSE YOU LEAVE NOW! YOU FU-" "PARK SEONGHWA THAT'S ENOUGH."

I hear Yunho's voice shout after Seonghwa but I can't look back. I need to get out of here and so I start running ignoring the pain once again.

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