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Hello my lovely friends! I hope you enjoy the update!!!

><><><><Negan

"I'm all in, no more hiding," Jo told me as she shrugged into her shoulder rig. We had to be downstairs in twenty minutes to face the mob and take care of business and I honestly didn't know what to say.

She turned to face me, and her green eyes were hard with a resolve I hadn't seen since we lost Dixon. All I could do was stare at her like I was a goddamn idiot. Either it didn't bother her, or she wasn't surprised she had reduced me to silence.

She turned back to the pile of knives and she began slowly picking through each and every one. She seemed to weigh them, twirled them through her fingers and slid it home. It was like she was getting reacquainted with each and every one of them. The pile had been sitting in my room since Dixon died waiting for her to decide if it was going to break her or if she was going to keep fighting.

I didn't know if I should be relieved she was arming up again or scared shitless. She had been through a lot with Dixon's. It seemed like she was getting better, then Dwight had to shit all over it. I didn't want to lose her over something like this. I wouldn't lose her over this.

"When do we go?" She asked once the last knife was strapped to her leather clad bod. She had clearly dressed to impress. I hadn't seen her in anything but jeans and hoodies since she got out of bed.

She reached for her leather jacket, shrugged it on, and it was like I couldn't goddamn breathe. All that leather hugged her curves and any thought of letting her leave this room was long gone.

She was a goddamn queen. My queen. All kinds of possessive bullshit ran through my head as I stared down at her. She turned back towards me then, lifting her chin in that defiant way of hers that drove me nuts. I took half a step towards her, tempted to push her up against the wall.

"Well?" She asked, a small frown forming between her eyes. She glanced towards the clock on my nightstand and I knew we had to go. I couldn't keep her here forever, no matter how badly I wanted to. I swallowed and cleared my throat as I forced myself to focus on the problem at hand. Goddamn Dwight was downstairs waiting on his sentence and this was not something I could let slide. But that didn't mean I wanted Jo there to see it.

The truth was I was scared shitless, and I didn't get goddamn scared. It wasn't the crowd or punishing Dwight that bothered me. Hell that bastard had more than earned what was coming to him as far as I was concerned. I was scared of what it would mean for Jo and I to have her stand beside me when I did this. Despite her tough appearance, I couldn't help remembering how fragile she had been just days ago. Hell, hours ago. She was doing what I did, putting on a show, but it didn't mean she was ready to stand next to me when I laid that iron on his face. It was going to be ugly. I had to make it ugly. This kind of shit couldn't stand.

I had to make it absolutely clear to every single one of the shit eating assholes who lived under my roof that stealing and endangering other people was unacceptable. In fact, I was going to have to make it a truly terrifying prospect. I needed every one of those sons of bitches to have nightmares about what it meant to cross me and break the rules. It was the only way to keep everyone safe.

To do that I had to be The Monster.

I snatched up my leather jacket, shrugging it on like it was a damn costume. I reached for Lucille, feeling her comforting weight rest in my hand. I rotated my wrist, swinging her through the air. The barbed wire made it whistle softly in the quiet of my room.

I flashed Jo a fox-in-the-hen-house grin. "Let's go hot friend, our subjects await."

Jo rolled her eyes at me like I was telling some kind of joke and I let her think that. But I wasn't joking. I held the door for her and she stalked out into the hall with her head held high like it didn't scare the shit out of her to stand next to me when I became this thing that would keep us safe.

I cracked my neck and slammed the door behind me, making Fat Joey flinch in fear. I let the grin stretch across my face like a mask. If she could fake it, so could I. The trick was going to be having anything real left of me by the time I was done.

><><><><Jo

The crowd was already waiting for us. I had thought we would be meeting them on the factory floor, but Negan led the way all the way down to the boiler room. I hesitated just outside the door. I hadn't been back since the night Merle died.

There were shadowy flickers of memory that threatened to pull me under as the smell hit me. The wet cement and antiseptic smell of the sick filled my nose and I took a miss step. Negan's hand was on my elbow and he steadied me, but he didn't look down and didn't draw attention to it. I couldn't break down here, I couldn't do it in front of the crowd and he was trusting me to be able to hold it together.

I lifted my chin a notch higher and added a slight sassy sway to my walk. I locked my eyes firmly on the back of Negan's jacket as he led the way through the door and I followed him straight to the front of the crowd like I belonged there.

As we passed through the door I tried hard not to look, knowing the metal frame would still be scarred from our desperate efforts to break our way out. I could hear the nervous din of the crowd all around us and it somehow reminded me of the herd of Biter's. I tightened my hands into fists as the noise began echoing in the dark corners of my mind. I had to do this. If I lost it now, I was done and then Negan was done. It would be a clear show of weakness Negan couldn't afford. Not now. I needed to be an asset not a liability.

He stalked through the room towards the incinerator. The front door was open and the heat pouring out of it was intense. I hesitated for half a second when I saw the two metal pokers resting in the flames. From here it was impossible to tell they were black, they glowed red hot in the inferno. As I neared it sweat began beading up on my skin.

Negan stopped in front of the incinerator and spun around theatrically to face the gathered crowd. I stepped up to his right side and out of the corner of my eye I saw Simon scowl at me dangerously. He moved to Negan's left, forcing Regina to take a step further away.

Negan stood before the crowd with a sort of calm detachment that I genuinely envied. Everyone else was shifting uncomfortably and all I could think about was how easy it would be for them to rush us. There were so many possible threats in this room it made the back of my neck itch. I slid one hand down to my thigh and let my fingers glide across the tops of my knives. It was suddenly like I could breathe and think again. It was a little scary how much I depended on them. But with the knives strapped to my body I felt like my old self again, not the hollow shell that had been wandering the halls these last weeks. Negan needed me to be this person. This person was one who could help keep The Sanctuary safe. I lifted my chin and faced the crowd feeling more confident than ever before.

The crowd could see Dwight and Sherry being restrained. The couple were on their knees to Negan's left, their hands secured behind their back. I had a feeling everyone knew what type of punishment this would be.

I let my eyes drift over the people gathered. I spotted Arat and Michelle. Arat jerked her chin respectfully to me and I nodded back. I turned and suddenly my eyes hit the exact spot where Merle had died and it was like I couldn't breathe. There was still a stain on the floor. My heart thundered away in my ears and I suddenly understood why Negan had tried so hard to talk me into staying away.

But people knew who I was now. They knew I was with Negan. They knew Dwight had been my trusted bodyguard, and if I wasn't here it sent a message to them. It told them that I was weak. That I wasn't strong enough to face the punishment someone close to me had earned. That I didn't believe or support the system that kept The Sanctuary safe.

The incinerator was blazing away behind Negan, and it illuminated him in an interesting way that I fought to focus on rather than let myself look around this room any more. While we waited for people to finish arriving Negan's eyes cut to mine. There was a brief flash of regret as he looked at me, but I smiled reassuringly at him. He had too much on his mind to have to worry about me right now. I wasn't going to lose it. I wasn't going to have any kind of breakdown. I was stronger than that.

I held my hands behind my back, gripping one wrist, I dug my nails into the sensitive skin on the inside of my wrist. The pain helped me focus.

"All right everyone shut up!" Simon yelled and the group fell immediately quiet, their eyes barely glazing over Simon as they all turned to Negan. Simon noticed and his mouth pinched in an angry line.

Negan took a deep breath and it was almost like I watched him become their Negan. I watched him wrap himself in the mask that he needed to keep us safe.

"You are all probably wondering what in the hell you're doing here. I mean after all it's nearly dinner time, and I don't know about you, but I sure as shit would rather be eating a nice hot meal with my hot friend here than dealing with this shit ass situation."

Negan paused and looked over the crowd, letting his words settle. He really was a master at this. Every eye was glued on him. His natural charisma was incredible. I couldn't have commanded a room like this if my life depended on it, and yet he did it so easily with a jovial grin and a swing of that bat.

"Now, we all know the rules, we follow them, the rules are what keeps everybody in the sanctuary safe," he exhaled theatrically. "What does not keep people safe is people breaking the rules."

The crowd shifted uncomfortably, and I realized then that while most of them might know what the punishment was, they didn't yet know what crime had been committed.

"Justin is in the infirmary right now, fighting for his life because some asshole thought it would be a good idea to steal a bunch of meds that didn't belong to him. In doing that, that same asshole not only nearly killed our good friend Justin, but also killed his own sister in law through his own lazy ass recklessness."

Negan's voice had risen with his conviction but he stopped, taking a breath and to compose himself so he could continue in the same dangerously casual tone. I had seen Negan truly angry only a handful of times. And honestly it was usually directed at or related to me somehow. This was different. He was angry in a deep, seething way that he would never truly forgive. Negan believed in keeping The Sanctuary safe and the rules he had established to do so. I knew in that moment that if he hadn't needed to put on the show, Negan would have killed Dwight the second he came back through the gate without hesitation. It was also freeing to know that I agreed with him.

Negan cleared his throat, his tone settling into something somehow more serious and yet still conversational. It made the crowd both interested and uneasy all at once.

"I don't know how many of you knew Rebecca. She and Sherry kept to themselves mostly. They hid in their room while Dwight here only worked for points. They didn't belong to the community. They thought they were better than that. Well, it was that attitiude that led to them thinking it was okay to steal fom us. It led to them thinking only of themselves instead of the group. Now that is some unacceptable selfish shit!" Negan yelled the last sentence and people in the front actually flinched. I could feel his rage seething away beside me and even I had to resist the urge to put some distance between us. It felt like there was a bonfire raging beside me.

"I don't know about you, but that shit makes me goddamn angry. Now, I am not an unreasonable man. I'm sure they had all kinds of reasons they thought were acceptable. Well I'm here to say that none of those reasons are acceptable. We do not get other people killed here. That is goddamn unacceptable."

Negan turned to face the incinerator. He held out his bat so he could free up his hand. Simon moved to take it but Negan completely looked over him and held it out to me instead. I tried not to look surprised but I took the bat from him, understanding the significance of the gesture. It was not lost on Simon either and when Negan stepped closer to the incinerator the amount of hate in Simon's eyes was staggering.

Oblivious to Simon's reaction, Negan lifted one of the irons out of the incinerator and held it up for the room to see the red hot tip. "So I'm going to give them a choice. They can either take the brand, or they can chose to serve on the fence."

A terrified murmur went through the crowd and Negan let it. He stood there for almost a full minute just letting them absorb the information. Then he spun back around to face the prisoners.

"So Dwighty boy, what'll it be?" Negan asked jovially. His grin was terrifying for how happy he looked at the prospect of punishing Dwight.

Behind Dwight Sherry started to wail. She sobbed and sagged in the arms of the guards holding her. "No please!" she screamed. "It was my idea! Please no!"

The emotion in her voice made me suck in a breath as I fought to contain my own emotions. I tightened my grip on the bat and it helped me think. I looked down at the barbed wire the was wrapped around it knowing how much blood it had spilt to give every one here a safe place to live.

"Please Negan no! Please! I'll do anything! I'll be your wife!" Sherry screamed.

Negan froze, his jaw was set and his eyes had a dangerous gleam. He turned and stalked towards Sherry. He grabbed her chin roughly in his fingers and she flinched as he dug them into her skin hard enough to bruise. "Do I look like I need a wife?" he asked darkly. "Doesn't it look to you like perhaps that position is no longer available?" he asked jerking her chin towards me.

"I'll do anything, just please spare him."

"Sherry no!" Dwight yelled.

"Oh just shut up!" she screamed through her tears as she sagged into the arms of her guard. "This is all your fault."

Negan's face was alight with amusement as he looked back and forth between the bickering couple.

Dwight's eyes were tormented as he turned back to Negan. "I'll take both our brands," he said in a low voice.

"What?" Sherry yelled. "No!"

A slow, deadly smile stretched itself across Negan's face. "Is that so Dwight?" He asked.

"Yes." Dwight said resolutely.

"Well, see Dwighty boy now here's the problem. This isn't Who Wants To Make A Deal, and she cant just get off free and clear for what she's done. Which by her own admission, was her plan in the first place."

Dwight's eyes turned hard and cold. "I think we both know that's bullshit, she couldn't have come up with that. She's being a woman about it. It was me."

Sherry's face was a mask of betrayal as Dwight basically admitted to the whole crowd that she wasn't smart enough to pull off their plan.

"So what do you suggest Dwighty boy? Because I've got two irons and I was real excited to use them," Negan drawled.

Dwight didn't hesitate. "I'll take both brands. She works in the kitchen, as long as she is alive."

Negan snorted. "You think I'm going to just welcome her to the fold and let her work for points? Not happening."

"She'll kneel," Dwight replied with absolute certainty.

Sherry's eyes were blazing and she leapt forward, slamming against the ropes holding her and forcing her guards to pull her back. "That's slavery!" She snapped. "You're just going to offer me up for that?" She accused.

"You just tried to offer yourself up for a whole lot worse. Just shut up about things you don't understand before you make it worse." Dwight hissed and the room fell silent except for the long belly laugh from Negan.

He let out a low whistle. "You know, I gotta tell you Dwighty. I think the missus is a little upset with you there and I can't say I blame her," Negan pauses dramatically. "But you have yourself a deal." He said pointing the first iron at Dwight's chest as an excited toothy grin stretched his face into a twisted, terrible mask.

Negan jerked his chin and the guards moved Dwight so he was kneeling at Negan's feet in front of the incinerator. Negan put the iron he had been holding back on the flames and pulled out a fresh one.

"You know, I've never branded anyone twice," he said thoughtfully. "It'll be interesting to see if you survive. Any last words?"

Dwight nodded once sharply and turned his eyes to me. I almost flinched in surprise, but managed to keep my expression composed.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "It was for my family. Otherwise I wouldn'ta left like that."

I swallowed as the whole room seemed to be holding it last breath, waiting for some kind of reaction from me. Negan tensed, about to take control of the room once more, but I had to say something. I couldn't just stand here and not do anything. It made me look beaten and betrayed. Him trying to apologize to me had just made me look weak.

I swung the bat a full circle and Negan's head snapped towards me like a wolf of a scent. He cracked his neck and a sly grin stretched his face as I stalked towards Dwight. I swung the bat through the air again and Dwight actually flinched. It made me feel strangely powerful.

I stared down at him, forcing my face to remain an emotionless mask. When he looked up to meet my eyes I allowed some of that place in the back of my head to peak out. He tried to pull away from the guards to put more space between us. The guards tightened their grip and held him still.

"Reason doesn't matter," I told him simply. "The rules are there to keep everyone safe. And you broke the rules," I said with a shrug.

I lifted the bat and looked down at it thoughtfully. I could feel the eyes of the crowd as they watched, waiting to see what I was going to do. I suddenly felt like I understood for maybe the first time what it could mean to rule this place. The dark places in the back of my head slid a little closer.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Negan watching me, but he made no move to stop me when I leaned in close to Dwight. I grabbed Dwight by the back of the hair, jerking his head up and back. I pressed the bat against the left side of his face so one of the barbs bit into his skin.

"You broke the rules, betrayed Negan, and you betrayed me," I growled. I dragged the barb across his skin leaving a bloodied X across his left cheek. I shoved him away from me in disgust. With his hands tied he couldn't catch himself from slamming against the cement floor. I spun back to face Negan.

Negan's eyes were impossibly deep but there was no emotion in them. With his back to the crowd his face was hard and closed as he watched me.

"That's where I want it." I told Negan, resting the bloodied bat on my shoulder.

Negan turned to face Dwight and the crowd and he transformed right in front of me. He had the glowing hot iron gripped in one fist as he took a menacing step towards Dwight. The flickering light from the incinerator reflected off the hard planes of his face. The look blazing in his eyes was terrifying. Every instinct I had was screaming at me that there was a predator in the room. It was enough it made me want to take a step back and made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

He presses the iron over the bloody X and the sickening smell of burning flesh filled the air. Dwight screamed. He only lasted seconds before he collapsed to the floor unconscious. In the back of my mind I could hear Sherry screaming and shouting at us but it felt far away. She wasn't a threat here, she didn't matter.

Negan put the iron back in the fire and grabbed the other one. Sherry continued to shout, trying to get Negan to leave Dwight alone. To punish her instead, but Negan ignored her. The crowd around us was dead silent.

Negan face was twisted with rage as he stepped toward Dwight a second time. He lifted his eyes to meet mine for a second. I didn't mean to, but I couldn't stop what my instincts were telling me and I took a step away from him my heart thundering out of control in my ears. I knew immediately it hurt him, but as usual he didn't show it. He did what had to be done and he turned back to Dwight. This was what Negan didn't want me to see, but of course I hadn't listened. For the very first time I had seen the monster that lived inside Negan's head and it was terrifying.

><><><><

Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed the update! I know it's been awhile but I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things! Thank you all for sticking with me!