Chapted 38

(Never Felt so Alone- Labrinth)

Two weeks had passed and the depression was really kicking in, they thought I was dead didn't they? I would cry myself to sleep every night. I would just leave here and find my way home if I knew where I was at, I figured I had a better chance at survival with these people. This morning I was cleaning husks, walker skin, for the Whisperer's, pretty much I was doing grunt work for these people. I was working all day everyday, up at the crack of dawn to start making breakfast, then immediately I would go check on wounded, those that couldn't recover quickly were either cast out or killed, Alpha and Beta did that.

Right now as it was becoming sun down, I heard a commotion coming from the common's area, which was just an open field.

"Who's this?" I heard Alpha's voice rumble.

"You most certainly must be Alpha." The man said. "Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Negan, and I am in love." He said smugly. I watched from a distance while Negan flapped his gums at Alpha who looked completely annoyed.

Negan and Alpha stepped further into the thick forest, I watched the two of them talk awhile before Alpha punched Negan. Beta bounded past me toward Alpha, yelling and ready to kill, I watched more unfold, until Alpha was now yelling at Beta, until he was bowing down at her feet.

"No, you are my Alpha. I have sworn never to challenge you. I am sorry. Please forgive me." Beta begged.

"You are forgiven, leave us." Alpha placed her hand on Beta's head, then he left swiftly.

"Well that was awesome." Negan said amused, then he bowed down in front of Alpha. "I recognize your strength and I bend to your will. Do you accept me?" Alpha placed her hand on Negan's head.

"I do, you may stand." Alpha declared.

"Is it okay that this turns me on?" Negan smiled.

"Stand." Alpha sneered at him. Alpha had Negan pass over his knife, and left, that's when I finally made myself known to him.

"Hazel?" Negan said shocked, I knew he barely recognized me? I looked like the poor pathetic Hazel, Daryl found in that hollowed out tree so long ago. Before I knew what was happening I slammed into Negan hugging him tight, it felt so good to see someone I knew.

"Think I'm dead, don't they?" I whispered, still unable to speak a higher volume.

"What?" Negan pulled me away to look at me. "Are you crazy, if I wouldn't 've stopped him, Daryl would've been here."

"Why'd you stop him?" I felt tears slide down my dirty face.

"Daryl was hurt and I didn't want your boy to lose both of his parents. I thought something had happened to you, and I didn't want something to happen to Daryl." Negan said with actual sympathy.

"How we getting out?" I said almost inaudibly, you never knew if someone was listening.

"I'm working on it. For now get comfortable, I'm in this for the long haul, until I can find my window." Negan said determined. "For now, where do we sleep around here?" He yawned. I sighed heavily, damn it.

"Show you." I led him back to the commons area, a few fires started, everyone getting comfortable for the night. I saw Negan's smile disappear when we went further from the fire and the group of people.

"Why are we over here?" He scoffed.

"Don't trust new people, so we sleep here, part of the test." I explained. "If you thrive in this, they accept you."

"Shit, you've been with these people this whole time?" Negan had that sympathetic look again, as we sat down making up a spot to sleep.

"Scout?" I asked.

"He misses you, what ya think, you're his mom." Negan said.

"How'd you convince Daryl?" I whispered.

"All I did was tell him his son needed him." Negan said simply.

"Why go back?" I asked.

"I want Rick to start trusting me more, simple as that." Negan shrugged. "Hold on, why're you talking like them?"

"What?" I asked confused.

"You talk like them, short sentences with few words as possible." Negan explained.

"Damaged voice, again." I smirked. "Makes them trust, me." My voice scratched.

"Damn, I will work my ass off to get you home." Negan said gently.

"Alpha said, leave whenever." I pointed at him.

"She did, but there's something I have to do before I go back." Negan said darkly.

"What?" I asked curiously.

"I was told what Alpha did to some of our people, I'm here to end this war before it starts." Negan said confidently.

"She did what?" I asked confused.

"Right, you were gone." Negan leaned over speaking very quietly." Alpha infiltrated Alexandria during fair week, and killed several people, putting their heads on spikes marking the border of their land."

"Who?" I demanded.

"Let's see, uh, Rosita, Amber, uhh, a few others I don't know?" Negan shrugged.

"Kill her." I demanded.

"Slow down sweetheart." I punched Negan in the jaw.

"Don't." I growled.

"Jesus, you are just like these people." Negan rubbed his jaw.

"I need, to get back." I cleared my throat. "They've, done things, to me." Tears brimmed my eyes.

"Whoa, whoa, hey, I'm here now, you don't have to worry about anyone messing with you now okay?" Negan wrapped his arm around my shoulders protectively. God I felt so pathetic and weak, but everything I had been put through I was broken, and becoming very submissive to these people. Having Negan here, a familiar face, a familiar presence, it was comforting.

That night my nightmares returned, only it was real, I was yanked from my bed, a man began to tug on my pants.

"No, no." I protested. The man punched me, bringing his knee down very hard on my arm, I swear I heard a crack.

"Been through this. No fight, no cry, no hurt, quick." The man said over me.

Suddenly the man was shoved off of me, pain building in my arm that he had been kneeling on.

"You sick fuck!" Negan jumped on the man, punching him over and over. "Tear my pants off prick, see what I got! I'll knock your fucking teeth out with my swinging dick!" Negan then shoved the guy away. "Last chance, you force yourself into this women I'll force this knife into your dick hole! You know what, too fucking late!" Just as Negan was about to leap at the man and end him, he was punched in the back of the head causing him to fall to the ground. I quickly cradled my arm hiding it's bent shape from Alpha and Beta.

"Stay down." Beta ordered his deep voice rattling my bones.

"Fuck you." Negan growled. "You're defending them?"

"These men were living their lives. We do not interfere, she did not call for your help. You denied her the right to defend herself, to prove she is strong." Beta explained.

"Are you fucking joking with this shit?" Negan was fuming.

"I know what your trying to do, but it is not our way." Alpha now stepped in.

"Then maybe it fucking should be!" Negan snapped.

"You can not allow this insult to go unpunished." Beta said to Alpha.

"Take him." She said simply. Beta slammed his fist into Negan's face knocking him to the ground, a couple others joining in, all landing three punches before backing away, then all of them leaving.

"Negan?" I inched toward him. "Are you okay?"

"I've been hit harder, that Beta hits like a bitch." Negan sat up rubbing his jaw, with a slight smile on his face, that quickly faded when he realized I was in pain.

"I think, it's broken this time." I groaned as I held my arm. "It can't be, they'll kill me."

"Shh, shh, I won't let that happen, c'mon we'll fix you up, you'll be good to work in the morning." Negan pulled me up.

Negan scrounged up sturdy sticks, tearing strips from his flannel, he made me a cast from the branches, weaving the fabric firmly into them, even wrapping the palm of my hand. After the skeleton of the cast was made, he began digging into the mud by the stream, finding clay, which he began to pack a thin layer over the sticks and fabric.

"Done this before?" I asked curiously.

"No, just thought it up." He shrugged. "Now if it is broken, it'll have to stay on there for a few weeks, more than a month maybe, but if it isn't broken, we can never be too careful right?" Negan smirked.

"Why you, helping?" I asked curiously.

"There's something about you I like. Back when I took you in as my wife, you had this straight shooter attitude. You knew what you wanted and you would do anything to get it, god that turned me on. You were a different kind of confident and strong, plus you looked incredible on my arm, not to mention in that leather jacket I gave you too." He winked. "You're not that way with Daryl though, why?"

"Different, I'm not trying, to save lives." I explained best I could.

"So you fucked me to save your friends, and you let me fuck your brains out so I wouldn't hurt Daryl?" Negan said mockingly. "No, you saw my power, and you wanted a taste of it. My power turned you on." He grinned.

"Wanna die now, or get home to your bitch?" I growled, couldn't believe I was actually able to muster out that sentence. "Thanks, for helping me."

"Better sleep close to me, don't want this happening again." Negan helped me to my feet, wrapping another layer of his flannel around my cast to cover the clay. Then we went back out to our spot in the open field, and I did as I was told sleeping right up against Negan's chest, no way was I going to let him spoon me.

————

Things were going smoothly, except all the looks I was getting the next morning because of the new accessory on my arm, my cast. I had to work double to convince them all I was fine, I was not going to let my life end here. Throughout the weeks Negan worked harder to gain trust, and move his way up the branches, he had his hands in practically everything, hunting, cooking, cleaning husks, etc. He was getting cozy with Alpha, she would invite him to eat with her, she would take him to the side and advice him, I could tell everyone was getting jealous. That first week felt like a month, and every night I slept closer and more comfortably by Negan. It was hard keeping track of days but if I had to guess I had been out here for a month now, and that thought put fear in me that I would never be leaving here.

Negan and I were turning in for the night, curling up closely against each other, a pleasured sigh coming from Negan.

"I got my knife back today." He said happily.

"How?" I asked.

"I got grabbed by a walker, they made me fend for myself, Alpha happened to be there and gave it back to me. Killed those fuckers and brought them back to camp for the skinners." Negan said cockily.

"Drawing too much attention." I whispered.

"What?" Negan moved so he could look at me better. "I'm busting my ass trying to get in good with Alpha and this is the thanks I get?" Negan got up walking away into the dark leaving me alone.

"Fine." I grumbled. I wrapped my flannel tightly around me, my knees to my chest, I just wouldn't sleep tonight.

Before I knew it I did fall asleep, all the work I did throughout the day knocked me out cold every night, even if I fought it.

"Hazel." Negan shook me awake. "We have to go now."

"What?" I said confused my mind foggy.

"We have to go." Negan yanked me to my feet, and off into the dark forest.

"Where?" I asked.

"Home." He stated, a smile creeping on my face. We traveled all night, the sun barely peering over the hills, that's when I noticed a bloody dripping burlap sack thrown over Negan's shoulder.

"What's that?" I pointed to the bag.

"Oh, it's a.. gift for Rick." Negan brushed off the question.

"Not stupid." I grabbed his shoulder stopping him. "I know, it's Alpha."

"So it is, I told you I wanted to stop this war, I just wanted to bring Rick proof is all." Negan shrugged.

"You made things worse, realize that?" I grumbled. "You just screwed-" Suddenly Negan slammed his lips against mine, taking me completely by surprise. I shoved him away roughly, wiping my mouth as well. "What the hell are you doing?!" My voice scratched.

"I just thought if this is gonna be my last day I'd like to have a kiss from my favorite wife." Negan smirked.

"Let's just, go home." I looked down at the ground the rest of the way home, even when we had guns in our faces.

"Hello there. I come in peace!" Negan chanted. "Think you might put that rifle away? I'm walking real slow, my hands are where you can see them I'm not threatening in anyway."

"Shut up." Dwight grumbled. "Heath and I will take them back to Rick." As we were being led away, Dwight stopped me. "You okay, I mean Jesus it's been over a month." I gave him a nod.

We were taken home, I was shaking the entire way there, I was nervous, I had been gone so long. How would Daryl react when he saw me, would he be upset, angry, I mean he'd be happy right? Scout was upset that I didn't come home, did he think I left?

"We're here." Dwight called back. "Take them to Rick." He instructed.

"Wait, no take Hazel home, she wants to see her family." Negan argued.

"She needs to talk to Rick while everything is still fresh, and she needs to be looked at too." Dwight barked.

Dwight and his men led us to Rick, Negan triumphantly placing the burlap sack on the table in front of Rick.

"Brought you a gift." Negan said cockily. I think I drowned out most of Negan and Rick's exchange, I was too focused on the fact that I was back home and wanted to see my son, and Daryl.

"Hazel?" Rick's voice brought me back. "You think any of this could lead to a war?"

"Yeah." My voice scratched. Carl, Rick and Michonne shooting each other a look, knowing that voice, even the look of me was giving them flashbacks.

"Then we stay on high-alert." Rick ordered. "Have Heath take Hazel to Siddiq, he needs to get a better look at that arm." He ordered Dwight.

"No, I'll take her." Carl stepped in. He could see I was in very rough shape and he took pity on me.

Carl guided me to the infirmary, it was actually new to me, I hadn't been in here since they reconstructed the place. Siddiq greeted me with a smile, Carl keeping watch at the door while Siddiq looked over my arm in amazement.

"How'd you come up with this?" He looked it over wide-eyed.

"Negan did." I said short.

"Well it seems to be doing its job, but I need to look at it." Siddiq said regretfully. He grabbed a bucket full of water, pulled the flannel off then began wetting the clay, before long he was able to cut through the woven flannel, and pull it all off my arm. My arm was still tender and swollen, I was nervous. "We need to set it, all that cast did was hold it in place." He explained. "So you know what that means then right?" I nodded in response. "Would you want Daryl here with you-" I quickly shook my head.

"Just get it over with." I begged.

Siddiq brought Carl in for assistance, more so to hold me down. Siddiq had nothing to give me for the pain during this process, but he could give me something after. I passed out while they set my arm, my body couldn't handle the trauma again. I woke up as Siddiq had finished wrapping my arm in a hard cast. "I can set you up with a sling to take some weight off the arm. How long ago did this happen?" He asked curiously.

"Um." I really had to think about it, how long had it been? "Two-ish weeks?" I said unsure.

"Okay, then we'll leave it for four more weeks, then I'll take it off and check it out." He smiled. "If you have any other problems with it, pain, or discomfort, feel free to stop by." He smiled.

"Dad told me to keep her here until Daryl got here." Carl said to Siddiq.

"Oh, alright then, can I interest you in a drink or something to eat?" He asked politely, my mouth watering, I had had nothing but meat the entire time I was out there, I was craving other things.

"Happen to have, carrots?" I asked. Siddiq nodding, heading back to his kitchen and bringing me a whole carrot, yes! I munched that carrot down so quickly you wouldn't know I even had one.

"Would you like another one?" Siddiq asked with an amused smile, I shook my head wiping my mouth. After another carrot and other vegetables and fruit, Siddiq adjusted my arm into a sling, which felt nice, it took some weight off.

The nerves were really kicking in now, second by second, I was about to be reunited with the two most important people in my life, I didn't know how to feel, it had felt like forever. I know I looked collected on the outside but I was freaking out on the inside, I wanted to run through town the second we got here and go hug my boys. I bounced my knee up and down anxiously eyeballing the door, waiting for them to emerge.

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Sorry sorry I know cliffhanger, bleh! Anyway I wanted to save the reunion for another chapter, because things are going to get crazy, maybe, depends on my motivation, haha! I mean I did want to write about a happy family in the apocalypse, but I don't think I've ever been able to write a story all about happiness, there's always gotta be doom and gloom. Anyway hope you guys like the new chapters so far, and as always Thank You for Reading!