Chapter 9

Han's POV,

Everything went black. Which was funny because I can see other faint colours too. It reminds me of the night sky. I love it. I remember star-gazing with Hyunjinnie. We used to camp out and sleep in our backyard. Hyunjin told me that if I tried hard enough, I'd see pictures in the sky. Drawings made by people who remember to shine, even in the dark.

Which is weird because the only time stars can't shine is in the day. Invisible.

"Hyunjinnie, can I go to a star one day?" I asked when I was about seven.. or eight... or eleven... not sure really. Childhood years seem to blur with time.

Hyunjinnie looked at me with a smile, "Maybe. Maybe one day you can find aliens... or outer space animals... Who knows, you're incredible."

I giggled, "What will you do one day?" Hyunjinnie hummed in thought and rolled over looking at me. He then smiled and got up picking me up raising me high towards the sky. "I will help you reach the stars."

I laughed as I pretended to fly around and Hyunjin made rocket noises. Hyunjin knew that going to a star is practically stupid, but he gave me that moment of happiness and hope. Something I wish I could give.

Rocket noises reminded me of the days when Hyunjin and Lee Know were on baby-sitting duty. Me, Felix, IN, and Changbin used to play around the yard pretending to be soldiers. Felix used to wear his shirt with that rocket on it. I almost tore it because of how much I loved that shirt.

I was young ok? I just wanted his shirt!

Felix was always there to make me smile.

While the four of us used to play, Hyunjin and Minho used to sit in the stairs so we wouldn't climb up. Both of them sat  together for hours and just talked and talked. They looked so happy. Lee Know used to be a lot more care free and mischievous. He was gathering money to get some cats. yes, not one, some cats. It was funny because, we never got pocket money. Hyunjin used to save his money and share half of it. If my dad found out about that he would have been so mad. But well, I didn't say anything because Hyunjin gave me money too.

Call it bribing, I saw it as his way of giving me gifts. He was never good at coming up with a decision for what to buy for me. So he left that on me. Poor fish... I mean pisces.

Lee Know and Hyunjin always talked in Korean. While Felix, IN, Binnie and I always talked in English. That's why we were all good at both Korean and English, while Hyunjin and Lee Know talk in English as if they decided using nouns and verbs was enough to make sentences. Not to mention the pronunciations that always have me and Felix laughing my soul out. That time Lee Know called Hyunjin 'autistic' instead of 'artistic'; and when Hyunjin couldn't say the word 'competition'.

Hyunjin and Lee Know had always been best friends. So close. Until I broke it when mom died.

I left and Lee Know had to leave Hyunjin too. Felix got caught in the crossfire for no reason. Our little family of friends shattered to pieces.

I wish everything could go back to normal, but now my dad is breathing down everyone's necks, ready to bite our heads off. 

Lee Know and I went to the cafeteria today. It was fun. Lee Know looked a lot more relaxed than usual. I don't know if I imagined it or it was real, but it felt like Lee Know had let his walls down for a while. He's never been the same since he and Hyunjin broke away from each other, but for once under the moonlight, I saw Lee Know smile.

Lee Know smiled. His face was lit up and he looked alive. I'm so glad the moon and stars were out tonight or I wouldn't have been able to tear my eyes away from him. Everytime he laughs my heart fluttered. His smiles made me smile. When he called me 'amazing and breathtaking', I almost squealed. But well, I need to act like a grown up... At least a little.

Then we.. a car... and I... oh God.... 

A car crashed into me, Lee Know told me to stay awake. Am I asleep? Am I dead? Am I in a coma? Can coma patients think? Can dead people think? No wait, they're dead right? Am I asleep? MY thoughts are way too clear to be asleep. It's like I am stuck in my memories which is impossible... Am I high on medicine? That could be a possibility because Lee Know said that the ambulance was almost there. I could smell it. I can smell? I'm not asleep then? He told me to keep my eyes open... No... He told me to tell the colour of his eyes.. His eyes are so pretty. The twinkle and shine. They look so full of innocence and hope, despite how stressed he is these days. The colour is dark brown but it doesn't matter. They change colour in different lights. With different moods.

I slowly open my eyes, ignoring the way the lights made my head ache. I felt someone holding my hand, It was warm and the grasp was tight. It was Lee Know; I gave his hand a gentle squeeze. His glossy eyes met mine and I smiled. I always wanted to reach a star. Hyunjin said he'd help me with it. I guess Lee Know was that star.