Chapter 14-

"Where's Snapstar?"

Yewpaw sits uncomfortably close to Sagepaw, eyes darting up at the sky, which is a dark blue. Sagepaw tries not to flinch.

"I think...he might have died in the fire..." he says quickly, trying to sound casual. That is not a lie. He could have died. Or he could've run off like a pitiful coward... No. Snapstar wouldn't do that.

"So...uh." Yewpaw's voice is quick, in that sly and nervous way Sagepaw already recognizes, "Right. I'm so sorry... but...like, do you miss him?"

Sagepaw would be angry, but all he feels is emptiness. He bares his teeth and works at the dirt with his claws out. "Of course I do. What is wrong with you?"

"Well...uh... he did try to stop my sister from being a warrior by...uh...force."

Sagepaw turns on the tom, reeling to face him again. The river at their feet is their 'new home' yet now it seems endless and unknown. "What?"

"Yeah. Fallowpaw, well... you know... they didn't get along quite well," Yewpaw's paws are dyed brown with dirt, so he quickly rinses them in the slow-moving water. His whiskers quiver as he licks his lips. "Trout sucks, doesn't it? I miss mice."

And just like the fire, the topic of Snapstar is gone. Just like the leader himself, disappearing into the smoke. "F-Fire-"

Fire. The thing that broke Sagepaw's life into pieces.

~~~

Sagepaw's life is fragile, his mind is fragile. Could it shatter again? Is Starclan really that cruel? Or is it Starclan at all, watching over him now? After Tansypaw, do they still think him worthy of their ranks? Probably not.

Life is also a routine. Train with Smoothpaw, hunt with Smoothpaw, bat away desperate Yewpaw, sleep, wake up concerned for Flickerpaw. The praise is sickening each time a Shadowclan cat comes in contact with him. Little Cragkit had blabbed to his mommy about a white and orange 'apwentice' that saved him. Later, Smoothpaw revealed him. Snitch.

Right now the Shadowclan cat is a white tom with shining golden eyes that glow with almost-pride. Sagepaw shrinks, feeling almost annoyed, but also honored.

"Hey, kit," the tom smiles teasingly, "Thanks for helping my Cragkit." Sagepaw feels himself freeze, and his mouth pulls up into a fake grin.

"Um, yeah, okay. You're welcome," the tom forces out his laugh, and it is painful. His throat is still rough, as is every cat's. "My, uh, pleasure?"

The tom laughs, waving his tail. "So, Sagepaw, saw you as an itty bitty scrap-"

"Yeah," Sagepaw intercepts, waving his tail dismissively, "everybody kinda did." The tom nods enthusiastically.

"I'm Eaglesnap. It's only fair 'ya know me. You know, uh, with Cragkit and all. He wants to see you."

No.

Sagepaw offers a tight, uncomfortable, smile. He doesn't want to see any more annoying Shadowclan warriors, even if, technically, they were of the same clan. But not really.

Aloestar said in the olden days, before the territories shifted from a lake to a tiny wood barely able to feed all of the clans, Shadowclan warriors adored signs and darkness. Foxes feared them. Their symbols are signs and ability to ambush made them feared by clan cats too. Slinky and dishonest, Aloestar called them.

Until they were forced to work with Thunderclan during the war.

Sagepaw's pelt ripples with unease. Aloestar's uneasy eyes prick into his mind.

~~~

Sagekit sits, his pelt brushing his littermates.

"What happened, Momma? You can just not tell us!"

Aloestar sighs, scooping up her giggling herd of kits near her chest. The she-cats chest fluff engulfs Sagekit, causing a mess of tangled fur and spitting.

Sagekit can feel her heartbeat, a constant reminder of life. It's calming.

Flickerkit and Smoothkit's giggles fill the air as Aloestar snuggles them in, and her eyes sweep over them.

"Okay, okay, fine. Shadowclan's pride got the best of them, and they broke from us. They fought with Windclan after we moved here, to our new home. That's when me and your...father... were just apprenticed," Aloestar's voice is hesitant, unsure. Sagekit's eyes find his mother's face.

"What else happened-"

A booming voice breaks into Sagekit's sentence. The voice is immediately recognized.

The one they cannot see.

~~~

"No thanks."

Sagepaw is sure Eaglesnap looks disappointed, but he slivers away before the tom can comment.

The freshkill pile has only one prey item. Fish.

They reak, stinking up the entire camp with how much they smell like salt and slime and the distinctive scent of fish. Riverclan insists the flopping things taste fresh and delicious, but Sagepaw prefers dry food. How do cats enjoy the feeling of wet, squirming, meat sliding down their throat?

Sagepaw wrinkles his nose and tries not to breathe. It smells too gross, too rotten. The image of a nutty-smelling, delectable, meal of mice and squirrel flashes in Sagepaw's head. He has never craved the forest more.

Sagepaw leans down, sinking his teeth into the foul-smelling fish. It flops down, its scales shining in the mid-day sun. Another patrol had just left, to check Riverclan camp. Is it still able to be lived in? The nest-littered tiny stream is getting too cold for the kits and queens, Leaf-bare about to wrap its cold hands around the world. The trees are already dropping their leaves in favor of the frigid weather. The kits already bundle together, diving under their mother's fluff. Dens are their only chance, and if they can't find any...

"Sagepaw?"

A small voice, as tiny as the scales on the disgusting fish, pipes up. Sagepaw turns, recognizing the tiny voice. Cragkit.

The little kit bounces toward Sagepaw, his excitement palpable. His little upturned mouth screams innocence, his eyes shining like a pool of stars. Sagepaw smiles a bit, a genuine smile. It feels good.

"Hi, hi, hi, hi!" Cragkit rants with a mini cough, as bouncy as a rabbit. Sagepaw can't even blink before Cragkit is swatting at his own tail and rambling off incomplete and irrelevant sentences.

"And...And... when I'm an apprentice I'll- And do you know when you're an apprentice you can fight in battles? And, like, I get to learn, like, sign language? For the shadows!"

Sagepaw snickers at the kit, pushing Cragkit's wriggling body off of his paws. Cragkit flashes a toothy grin. "Dada said I'll be the best warrior, the best! Since I'm so... ad-ven-tour-us."

Sagepaw rolls his eyes, wondering why he'd refused to see such a kit. "It's adventurous."

"It's a big word!" Cragkit argues with a stubborn huff.

"Right," Sagepaw nods in mock-agreement, "Where's your mom?"

Cragkit turns his head, nodding across the river, into the barren forest. The undergrowth is transformed into soot and ash, the only thing standing being charred, lonely, trees. "Findin' Riverclan!"

"But she's a queen?" Sagepaw says confusedly, tilting his head to the right.

"And I'm a kit!" Cragkit rolls his wide eyes, flopping down at Sagepaw's paws once again. Sagepaw sighs and shuffles the kit off of them.

"Your dad?"

"Hunting!" The kit exclaims happily, tail whisking, almost like a dog's, "Guess you'll have 'ta watch me!" Cragkit's eyes narrow almost-threateningly. "Or I might get lost again." Who knew a kit could blackmail?

"You're from Shadowclan," Sagepaw says simply, turning to his fish again. It seems to blink at his straightforwardness. "I'm from Thunderclan. That's why I can't see you."

Cragkit's eyes harden like pebbles in stream, his kit-like happiness fading. "Okay." The little kit turns and whisks his tail.

And just like that, Cragkit gets lost in the crowd.