Chapter 3

**Trigger warning for this chapter**

Lilly's P.O.V.

The cold blade slid across my skin just like it had those years ago. It felt so wrong but at the same time so right. I made two fresh slits in total in addition to the three from yesterday. It has been four months since my Mom died and John has kept up his side of the promise and so have I. He rings me every other day but he isn't dad like at all. Its more like a bussiness relationship so I am an almost an orphan I'm trying to find my real Dad but so far there had been no results. He was sent to rehab when I was 6 for drug abuse and never came back. I can't remeber much of him. I just remeber the pain it caused mom. She had no money and was trying to raise me. Then I remeber the happiness John gave her.

I'm laying in bed, wearing nothing,because laundry is too much effort, watching random Tv, at 3 a.m. I havn't been sleeping. This is a regular occurence. Its just hard to sleep in a house alone. The only nights I have slept was when one of the girls slept over. But they have school and they can't deal with a depressed girl everynight of the week, so on nights they don't I lay in bed, Random Tv on, either stumming my navy-blue electric guitar or scrolling through facebook feeds.

This night is different. Its loud, I'm more awake than usual. I have that smae sick feeling I did before Mom died. I hear a click downstairs. A click of a key in my front door. I hear the lock turn and a few voices and then one shush them. I hear the door open and footsteps. Then I hear things falling, falling onto the floor and couches. Fuck.